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28/01/14
"Sara: Notice someone has been trying to contact you. Answer."

You scan over PG's messages. You'll have to ask SS to turn off the autoblock. It is obviously not working, and frankly it just adds more spam to your plate. You decide to see if OG is still on.

-- overjoyedGenetics [OG] began pestering illusionalMindcraze [IM] at 16:18 --

OG: hi sara
OG: are you there?
OG: no?
OG: did you leave your computer on?
OG: :/
OG: ss isnt on either
OG: do you know anything about that?
OG: ):
OG: i hope youre okay!
OG: contact me when you get my messages, okay?


-- overjoyedGenetics [OG] is now an idle chum! --

IM: Hello?
IM: OG, are you still present?
IM: Please tell me you are okay.
IM: As you have stated, SS is not responding to any of my messages.
IM: She randomly ended the conversation between me and her, after spazzing all over her keyboard.
IM: I am worried.

OG: sorry sara!
OG: i was strifing with this weird animal that had come into my house
OG: it seems pretty harmless though
OG: its chilling with me
OG: its all white and fluffy!

IM: What kind of animal is it?
OG: a sparrow
IM: Hm.
IM: Sounds pleasant.

OG: anyways, did you get my present?
OG: it is totally great
OG: so great

IM: Oh.
IM: Sorry, I left it in the fridge.
IM: I was too preoccupied with SS's present to grab yours.

OG: um
OG: okay?
OG: what was my present doing in the fridge?

IM: It is hard to explain.
IM: Anyways, would you like me to go get it?
IM: I can, if you want.

OG: that would be nice, yeah
IM: I will be right back.

-- illusionalMindcraze [IM] ceased pestering overjoyedGenetics [OG] at 16:26 --

28/01/14
"Sara: Surf dead mom's photograph down stairs"

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!

21/01/14
"Sara: Ride box down stairs."

Suddenly you want to ride your box down the stairs. That sounds that a great idea. So perfect.

You capatchalogue the box. You also take with you Lacey, for good luck, and the book, so you can throw it away. You never even wanted the stupid thing.

21/01/14
"Sara: Put self in box"

You put self in box.

21/01/14
"Sara: Put the bunny back in the box"

Bunny? You see no bunny. If you mean Lacey, she is still in the box. You never took her out.

21/01/14
"Sara: Pillow fight your dead mom"

Too soon.

21/01/14
"Sara: Be trolled."

arcaneRift [AR] began trolling illusionalMindcraze [IM] at 16:34

AR: > Sara,
AR: > Please, hear me <>vt here,
AR: > I kn<>w it says in the header that I'm tr<>lling y<>v,
AR: > But I really want t<> help y<>v,
AR: > First, it is <>f vital imp<>rtan<e that y<>v rvn the pr<>grams <>n the dis<s in the envel<>pes,
AR: > They will be ne<essary t<> pr<><eed in this game <>f life,
AR: > In additi<>n, please st<>p smiling like that, it's creeping me <>vt,
AR: > Y<>v als<> mvst vnbl<><k all the <>ther tr<>lls,
AR: > And keep <<>ntact with them,
AR: > They're jvst trying t<> help,
AR: > Even *<>mitted f<>r st<>ry pvrp<>ses* and *<>mitted f<>r st<>ry pvrp<>ses*,
AR: > Please read this s<><>n,
AR: > G<><>dbye f<>r n<>w I gvess,
AR: > And please, P13453 take my advi<e,

arcaneRift [AR] ceased trolling illusionalMindcraze [IM] at 16:37

21/01/14
"==>"

Inside the box is YOUR STUFFED BEAR, LACEY, A PHOTOGRAPH OF YOUR MOM, A BOOK FROM YOUR COUS, and YOUR PILLOW. Nothing much, really.

21/01/14
"Sara: Open this box."

You open this box.

21/01/14
"Sara: Have a baby."

wHAT

21/01/14
"==>"

They then reopen, because you will probably flip your shit if you don't get to open this box.

21/01/14
"END OF ACT 1 ACT 1 ACT 1 ACT 1"

The PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT CURTAINS close, signalizing the end of Act 1 Act 1 Act 1 Act 1.

21/01/14
"==>"

21/01/14
"==>"

You need to open this box.

21/01/14
"Sara: Explore more to your house."

You decide to explore a little more. Because for some reason you have forgotten what your house looks like or something. But, before you do that...

21/01/14
"Sara: Open the envelopes."

You don't really want to uncapatchalogue them right now, considering you just stowed them away, but you will at least sneak a peek at the complexity of the mazes.

Wow. This is-this is the easiest maze you've ever seen. It's almost as if your sylladex wants you to open them as soon as possible.

Well fuck your sylladex.

29/12/13
"==>"

You captchalogue the envelopes.

Now what?

29/12/13
"Sara: Open the box already."

You open the box. There are two little envelopes inside, but that's it. You hope SS put some kind of letter inside one of these things. Or maybe you'll have to ask her about them. She better be back on. Being worried isn't a thing you stopped doing.

29/12/13
"==>"

Before you open the box, you read the note. Looks like it's from Cous, not SS. The note, at least.

Dear Sara,
Sorry about the location of your presents. I didn't want to put them in the storage room, and the fridge seemed to be a place you would actually look.

~C


You feel extremely confused.

29/12/13
"==>"

29/12/13
"==>"

You finish the maze (it actually wasn't that hard), and uncapatchalogue the box.

29/12/13
"==>"

You use the MAZE MODUS, which forms a randomly generated maze to match the importance of the object. Huh. This is an overly complicated one. SS must have sent you something pretty unusual. Oh well. The more complicated the maze, the more fun it is!

29/12/13
"==>"

You situate yourself on your bed, and prepare to uncapatchalogue the box.

29/12/13
"==>"

You walk upstairs, entering your room.

29/12/13
"Sara: Open the box. It's not like it could possibly belong to anyone else."

You first grab the box. The other one, which you assume is from OG, can just wait it's turn. You don't need it right now anyways.

27/12/13
"==>"

27/12/13
"Sara: Be PG"

Why would you be her? Why would you even think of doing something stupid like that. She's a bitch. You don't want to be her.

27/12/13
"Sara: What's in the green box?"

You aren't sure yet. You shake the box a little, but whatever is inside barely makes a sound. It must be something pretty light, you guess. There's also a note on the side of the box, although it isn't written in the light green that SS always writes in.

27/12/13
"[E] Christmas Sara"

27/12/13
"==>"


-- poisonousGargantuan [PG] began trolling illusionalMindcraze [IM] at 16:21 --

PG: -> Have you turned off that autoblock code yet?

-- poisonousGargantuan [PG] was blocked! --

PG: -> I guezz not.

-- poisonousGargantuan [PG] was blocked! --

PG: -> It'z really annoying, you know that?

-- poisonousGargantuan [PG] was blocked! --

PG: -> For fuck'z zake, it doezn't even work!

-- poisonousGargantuan [PG] was blocked! --

PG: -> You know what? It doezn't even matter. You're going to receive theze mezzages, whether you like it or not.

-- poisonousGargantuan [PG] was blocked! --

PG: -> I zhould get IA to turn off thiz fucking program. She'z zmarter than your dumbazz moirail anywayz.

-- poisonousGargantuan [PG] was blocked! --

PG: -> But I wont, becauze I appreciate the amount of effort you have put into ztopping me from mezzaging you.

-- poisonousGargantuan [PG] was blocked! --

PG: -> Fuck you.

-- poisonousGargantuan [PG] was blocked! --

PG: -> Look, I'm trying to help you here.

-- poisonousGargantuan [PG] was blocked! --

PG: -> All I'm going to zay iz:

-- poisonousGargantuan [PG] was blocked! --

PG: -> Run the fucking game.

-- poisonousGargantuan [PG] was blocked! --

PG: -> And azk your zhit moirail to zend you the reverze code for thiz ztupid autoblock.

-- poisonousGargantuan [PG] was blocked! --

PG: -> Zoon, we'll be talking a lot.

-- poisonousGargantuan [PG] was blocked! --

-- poisonousGargantuan [PG] ceased trolling [IM] at 16:23 --

27/12/13
"==>"

Oh my god.

27/12/13
"==>"

There isn't much to see. There's a few juice boxes, a milk jug, some left over spaghetti, some left over chicken, and- wait.

27/12/13
"Sara: Check what's in the fridge."

You walk over to the fridge.

26/12/13
"Be OG > No, be SS and introduce yourself finally"

They are both busy with their own things! They cannot be introduced!

26/12/13
"Sara: Enter kitchen"

You enter the kitchen.

23/12/13
"==>"

bluuuuuhhh...

23/12/13
"==>"



-- overjoyedGenetics [OG] began pestering illusionalMindcraze [IM] at 16:18 --

OG: hi sara
OG: are you there?
OG: no?
OG: did you leave your computer on?
OG: :/
OG: ss isnt on either
OG: do you know anything about that?
OG: ):
OG: i hope youre okay!
OG: contact me when you get my messages, okay?


-- overjoyedGenetics [OG] is now an idle chum! --

23/12/13
"Sara: Go into next room."

You head over to the other door, which leads into the kitchen.

23/12/13
"[E] No."

Is thrown.

(From now on, all extra things will be backed up with this: [E], to make things easier.)

22/12/13
"Sara: Examine surroundings."

There's not much to examine. You've got a couch. Cous recently went out to get some more furniture, the two of you got rid of rest.Mainly because Cous assumed it would bring back bad memories, although you don't see why she would get rid memories of your mother. You do want to remember her.

22/12/13
"Sara: Go downstairs."

You head for the stairs.

22/12/13
"Sara: Theorize that these voices in your head are actually helping you by giving you names of books or other resources you should read before your adventure."

You take this into consideration. You aren't to sure if you'll be going on any adventures anytime soon, and you have never heard of any books with these names (they kind of sound like cheap ads), but you'll be sure to look them up after you return to your room.

22/12/13
"> The Top Six Sburb Betas Downloaded By Sburbventure Characters (And What This Means For The Rest Of Us!) > Twelve Sburbventure Secrets The MSPA Forum Doesn't Want You To Know. > 8 Lessons I Learned From Sburb (Without Having Played It) >Top 10 SBURB Troll Sessions > Five Huge Surprises For Sburbventure Authors (On The Internet). > 5 Sburb Stories (No One Told You) > Six Reasons Why Arms Are Going Out Of Fashion."

What?

22/12/13
"==>"

You head for the stairs. You should probably get those presents.

22/12/13
"Sara: Knock on room door."

This your Cousin's room. She isn't home. There is no need to knock on her door.

22/12/13
"Sara: Enter hallway."

You do that.

22/12/13
"Sara: Go through the door next to you."

You get off your bed, and decide to go out into the hallway. Actually, this also reminds you that SS wanted you (and at the same time didn't want you) to retrieve her present.

22/12/13
"Sara: Contact SS again"

You've tried. Multiple times.

22/12/13
"Sara: Suddenly feel worried about SS "

Suddenly? You've been worried!

22/12/13
"SS: Be Sara again. It's too early to introduce you."

In a fit of CONFUSION and FEAR, you become Sara again.

22/12/13
"SS: HURRY GET THE FOOD"

WHERE'S THE FOOD????

22/12/13
"==>"

Oooooooh.....

22/12/13
"SS: Become hypnotized by cat's eyes."

22/12/13
"==>"

CRAPCRAPCRAPCRAPCRAPCRAPCRAP

22/12/13
"Sara: Be SS, then SS, determine what is making lksbulc all over your keyboard."

You are now SS aND YOU FORGOT TO FEED THE CAT!

22/12/13
"Sara: Answer."

You answer her.



-- scenicSpectrum [SS] began pestering illusionalMindcraze [IM] at 16:06 --

SS: sara!
SS: sara helloooo
SS: saraaaa
SS: did you leave your computer on again
SS: i bet you did
SS: :/

IM: Hi.
IM: Sorry, I was looking around my room.
IM: And I spent a short period of time watching the sun set, but it got cold and I went outside after I had been out for a few minutes.
IM: I also had a run in with a strange naming bar that attempted to give me a name.
IM: I showed it who was boss, though.

SS: sara!
SS: that sounded weird
SS: what you just said I mean

IM: I didn't expect it to sound normal.
IM: But anyways.
IM: Why are you contacting me?
IM: Other than the fact that we are friends, but your messages seemed urgent.

SS: oh!
SS: did you get my gift?

IM: No, not yet.
IM: I think Cous brought in the mail before she left to go into town.
IM: Should I go get it?

SS: nononononononono
SS: you dont have to right now
SS: i mean i guess its important but...
SS: at the same time i think its kind of dangerous?

IM: How so?
SS: i dunno, i just...
SS: i just know that itll be something bad!

IM: There.
IM: There it is again.

SS: there what is again?
IM: You're being so ominous.
IM: Again.

SS: hehe, i guess i am, arent i?
SS: sorry!

IM: You don't have to apologize.
IM: It isn't something you can help, I am sure.
IM: Just like I can't help coming off a little hostile sometimes, like you have told me.

SS: yeah, i guess
IM: Anyways.
IM: Is there anything else I should be notified of?

SS: not really
SS: but i would like to keep talking
SS: im super duper bored
SS: no one else is online
SS: not even the good trolls!
SS: and theyre almost always on!

IM: I never talk to any of them.
IM: I try to stay away from the trolls.

SS: i know
SS: :P

IM: I know you know.
IM: I don't see why you like them so much though.
IM: From my experience with them they do not seem very kind.

SS: bluh bluh
SS: that's because you only talk with the mean ones!!!
SS: and THAT'S because all the nice ones are scared of you!
SS: and by all of the nice ones i mean the two nice ones

IM: I am beginning to think you hold these people way too high up.
IM: You don't even know them, after all.
IM: They could be from anywhere on this planet.
IM: Anywhere.

SS: i know buuthi9dhiuehbfrij
SS: dwzn

IM: Are you okay?
SS: sorry irhfihrf
SS: mdeuf nrie
SS: my cahdoimeoi


-- scenicSpectrum [SS] ceased pestering illusionalMindcraze [IM] at 16:10 --

IM: Oh.

22/12/13
"Sara: Answer friend."

You open up pesterchum. Oh, it's her! You should probably answer.

22/12/13
"Sara: Gaze at your new found arms, make sure they're real. "

You always have had, and always will have, these arms! Are you stupid or something?

22/12/13
"Sara: Get on your computer."

You do that.

22/12/13
"What's in the box?"

You'd open it and see, but it appears someone is trying to get in contact with you!

22/12/13
"Sara: Climb in the box and mark your territory."

Well... you would, but there's stuff in the box. So you can't.

22/12/13
"No, the box sitting on your bed. Of course, idiot, that box."

Okay, okay! Sheesh. You don't have to be so fucking rude about it!

22/12/13
"Sara: Go investigate that box."

This one?

22/12/13
"==>"

Much better. You can now properly introduce yourself.

Your name is SARA WOLFE, and as was previously mentioned, it is your THIRTEENTH BIRTHDAY. You enjoy ROLEPLAYING with your FRIEND (and only her), and you have your own CHARACTER and everything, complete with a character sheet that you MADE YOURSELF. You are FAIRLY OKAY at programming computers, but not nearly as good as your FRIEND. You don't really have any PARTICULAR interests, although you do enjoy STUFFED ANIMALS. They remind of your MOTHER, who passed away recently. Now all there is is your COUSIN and YOURSELF. Sometimes you worry that the two of you will get kicked onto the STREETS, but COUS WORKS HARD, and your mother left a fairly BIG AMOUNT OF MONEY BEHIND. You miss your mother.

22/12/13
"Sara: Go inside, it's getting dark."

You first render yourself more realistically, then you stand up. It is dark now, and it's also pretty cold.

22/12/13
"==>"

You are now this girl. You have just named yourself SARA WOLFE, which is a name that you have most certainly PICKED OUT FOR YOURSELF, and it was NOT, in fact, chosen at your day of birth exactly THIRTEEN YEARS AGO.

Did you forget to mention it was your birthday?

22/12/13
"==>"

But it seems she is wiping away her own tears, and entering her own name! She doesn't quite trust you with her name. For all she knows, you could name her something dumb like 'Zoosmell Pooplord', or maybe something more like 'Flighty Broad'. Whatever you were going to name her, she doesn't want you to do it.

22/12/13
"Enter Name."

You get your naming tool ready, poised at your keyboard to enter the funniest name possible, to tick this girl off enough so that maybe she'll get so mad, she'll stop crying.

22/12/13
"==>"

A young lady sits on a hill, watching the sun set. She seems to be crying, but we can not properly address her with any sort of question why until she receives a proper name. 'Young girl' will just not do.

What will her name be?

22/12/13
"==>"

22/12/13
"BEGIN."