AlterniaFM


11/01/17
"[S] Siri: explore"

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03/01/17
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03/01/17
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03/01/17
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03/01/17
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-- adamantDaisy [AD] began pestering reconciledDoom [RD] --

AD: Amani! I need your help, quick!
RD: whats the matter?
AD: I'm being stalked by some kind of pathogen!
RD: oh my go:D!
RD: but what can I :Do?
AD: Listen carefully

03/01/17
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16/11/16
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Aso: 2h002h
Aso: it2 0k4y hun I he4rd y0u the fir2t time
Aso: there there kiffy
Kifo: . . .

16/11/16
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Kifo: T̡̛H̷̢̕͘͞A̢͜͞Ţ̷̕͟͠!̸҉͟͞!̧͢͢͞!̨҉

16/11/16
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Kifo: H̷̨A͘T҉È́!̷!

16/11/16
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Kifo: ͡I̶ ͘ŔĘAL̶L͏Y!̧

16/11/16
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Kifo: I REALLY HATE THAT GUY!

16/11/16
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Aso: 0h g0d did he 24y 20mething d0uchey 4g4in
Kifo: YES!
Kifo: I HATE THAT GUY!

04/11/16
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Kifo: Ń̛̕Á͝Ṕ̵́͞Ơ̴҉̡̢L͝E̛Ǫ̀N͡!̴̸!҉͘!͡

04/11/16
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Aso: d4mn kif0
Aso: 4re y0u 2ure there i2nt like...
Aso: 4 le22 p4inful w4y f0r y0u t0 p022e2 me
Kifo: ASO I TOLD YOU BEFORE!
Kifo: THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN TALK TO YOU!
Aso: 4ight th4t2 c00l
Aso: y0u d0nt h4ve t0 yell
Kifo: Sorry.
Kifo: I know my voice is very loud sometimes
Kifo: On account of the fact that pretty much all I know is hatred.
Kifo: ILL TRY TO CONTROL IT!
Aso: c00l thx
Aso: s0 wh4t2 new

04/11/16
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04/11/16
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04/11/16
"System: reboot already"

20/08/16
"SM: become more meta so you can hurry this along"

That's a great idea!

You open the previous image file in GIMP and use the paint bucket tool on the loading bar.

Guess this meta stuff isn't so useless after all, huh?

20/08/16
"SM: stop being a whiny hipster and check if the system has rebooted"

You do one of those things.

The system seems to be six (6) percent (%) rebooted.

20/08/16
"SM: land already"

After slipping on the BANANA PEEL, your HIPSTER'S GAMBIT takes a critical blow.

That is truly the most mainstream, unoriginal thing you have ever done.

You hang your head in shame.

05/08/16
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OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT!!!!!!!!

05/08/16
"SM: This is THE most narcissistic thing you have ever done"

Oh, I'm sorry, did you want me to slow down the loading process even more?

So what if it is, it gets kind of boring in this fancy purple bedroom okay?

Sometimes I just need something to entertain myse-

05/08/16
"SM: also are you seriously cosplaying Sherlock?"

Yes I am.

So what if he's my own character? I can cosplay whoever I want.

05/08/16
"SM: restart computer"

.....

Okay so it might be a while.

05/08/16
"SM: Oh god not this shit again"

Hey, it's not my fault the adventure crashed.

Besides, All I have to do is restart the system and it'll be right back up.

05/08/16
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Damn it.

Freaking Kifo and her shitty glitch powers...

01/08/16
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Aso: 4444̨4̶44͞44̛44͞4̴4̛4̰̫͇̖ͅ4̸̺4͔̖̣4̖̫4̧̞̲̯̭4̶̟̬͔̤̩͔̹4̢̡̨̖̱̰̣̩͕ͅͅ4̤4̲̯̹̘̥̠͘4̼̮̭̹̪̬̘͖̲4̸̷͚̤̜̹Ǵ͜҉̫͕͓̖G̡̞G̖͔G̽ͬͣ̋̃ͮ́҉͓̩̩͎͇Ǧͫ̿̏ͯ͋̊ͦ̾͟͏Ǧ̛͐ͮͩ͌͢Ĝ̵ͪ͆͊̏G͐ͨ̾ͨ̽́̾H̨̑ͦ̓͒ͨͤ̀̚̕H̓̄͋̿͛G̷̡̢͌͂̑̊͐H̅͂ͮ͡͡H̴͢G̵̴̷̛H͢͢͡͝͡H̵̢̧̛G̀͏H̶͟͠͝H͟͡!̷̕͠!҉!̶̡!̵̶̧͟͢!̵́͢!̕҉̨!̨̛͝!̶̢̕͢͞!̛͢͞!̢̨!́҉!̴́!҉̨͠͡!̧̧̛̕͡!̸̶̵͜!̛̛́͝!͏͟͞!̡͟͟͞!̢͘

01/08/16
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You're about to be in a lot of pain.

But Kifo's your friend, and you're practically the only one she has.

01/08/16
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Unfortunatley, the only way she can contact non-thinkpan cells is through AGONIZING POSSESSION.

26/07/16
"Aso: be aware"

Oh god.

Kifo's trying to contact you, you can feel it.

26/07/16
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You are now Aso.

You have finished installing SBIO, and are completely unaware of anything drastic about to happen at all whatsoever.

26/07/16
"Kifo: contact a friend so you can vent your anger"

Not a bad idea.

You begin to initiate the possession of your closest friend.

26/07/16
"Kifo: continue to be goddamn furious at Napoleon"

YOU'RE JUST SO GODDAMN FURIOUS AT NAPOLEON!

22/07/16
"Amani: connect with Siri"

You begin to establish a connec-

PSYCHE.

22/07/16
"Meanwhile..."

Amani has finished installing SBIO.

18/07/16
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TR: oh no be careful!!!
TR: siri???
TR: fuck it, just for good luck...
TR: *virtually gives a good luck hug to siri even though she will not see this message nor know about the hug for some time*...

18/07/16
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AD: Crap! I've gotta go Zipo! There's a pathogen here!



-- adamantDaisy [AD] ceased pestering translucentRiddler [TR] --

18/07/16
"Siri: RUN FOR IT!"

15/07/16
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15/07/16
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15/07/16
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14/07/16
"Siri: what's that behind you?"

14/07/16
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AD: They're gone now, I saw them in that hole.
AD: They might still be around though, be careful!
TR: was it a rorschach parasite???
AD: I'm not sure, maybe. I could only see its eyes, and they looked different than the eyes of the parasites you saw.
TR: maybe it was another tier???
AD: Yeah, maybe.

14/07/16
"Zipo: turn around!"

TR: where!?!

14/07/16
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AD: Zipo! Someone's behind you!

14/05/16
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AD: Oh wow, it's showing me those monsters you saw.
AD: There some kind of parasite apparently. “Rorschach Parasites.”
TR: yikes!!!
AD: Uh oh, it says those ones you saw are tier 1.
TR: you mean there are more!?!
AD: It seems that way D:
TR: I better be careful...
TR: those things seem powerful...
TR: they're all the same kind of parasite I think and they're able to take multiple forms...
TR: I don't wanna know the forms the other tiers can take...

14/05/16
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14/05/16
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TR: a bell???
AD: Yeah.
TR: huh...

14/05/16
"Siri: place bell"

14/05/16
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AD: Ooh it looks like I can give you an item ;)

14/05/16
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14/05/16
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AD: Oh, umm...
TR: what???
AD: It's saying you're “Maid of Void.”
AD: This game's kinda mean. ;(
TR: wow yeah...

14/05/16
"Siri: examine Zipo"

AD: Alright, hold still, I'm gonna try examining you.
TR: okay...

31/03/16
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It seems the protein wants you to follow him deeper into the castle corridor.

31/03/16
"Sherlock: attempt to calm the protein down"

There there, lil' guy, just take it easy.

31/03/16
"Sherlock: approach protein"

The protein is flipping the fuck out.

31/03/16
"Sherlock: look closer"

A strange looking PROTEIN is cowering timidly.

31/03/16
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31/03/16
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You hear something in a nearby castle.

17/03/16
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17/03/16
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17/03/16
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17/03/16
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17/03/16
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17/03/16
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A bold HEIR stalks his foe.

17/03/16
"Meanwhile on LOVAC..."

15/03/16
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Andy: Shit! I have to wake up!
Julie: []\ Why? What's wrong? And who's Sherlock? []|
Andy: It's a long story.

15/03/16
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Julie: []\ Hey what's that on the floor there? []|
Andy: Oh, that.
Andy: It's a decorative piece of wood that fell over.
Julie: []\ And what's that on it? Some kind of code? []|
Andy: Yeah, I think.
Julie: []\ Ooh and it seems that you are the Knight of Light []|
Andy: Why do you assume it's referring to me?
Julie: []\ I dunno, it just seems to make sense []|
Julie: []\ My room has a label on the door that says Witch of Hope []|
Andy: Huh, interesting.
Andy: That's kind of like how the game said Sherlock was the Heir of...

15/03/16
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Julie: []\ Heck yes I did ;p []|
Andy: op
Andy: But yeah, um, sorry about that. ^;
Julie: []\ That's okay hon []|
Julie: []\ Hehe, I figured I'd find you awake in my dreams eventually []|
Andy: Your dream? But this is my dream.
Julie: []\ Umm I'm pretty sure it's my dream []|
Andy: Well, maybe we're both having the same dream, I'll ask you when I wake up o).
Julie: []\ I'll do the same :D []|

18/02/16
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Julie: []\ Why hello there Andy []|
Julie: []\ I can see we're gonna have a smashing time ;) []|
Andy: Did you just...

18/02/16
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18/02/16
"Andy: Lift it up and see if Julie is okay!"

First things first. You'd better pick up those valuable sweets.

You store them safely in your SCARF.

18/02/16
">_<"

18/02/16
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In your excitement, you accidentally knock over the portal from the wall.

The fallen portal reveals a hidden safe, and some candy corn.

18/02/16
"oD"

Omigoshomigoshomigosh!

It's Julie! You did not expect to see her here at all.

How exciting! The two of you will surely have a lovely time together.

27/01/16
"Andy: flick the switch on the picture frame"

27/01/16
"Andy: examine note"

Huh. This is quite peculiar.

The note reads "Knight of Light" followed by a sequence of numbers.

What could this mean?

27/01/16
"Andy: open door"

What door?

There is only a painted slab of wood propped up against the wall in here.

Door, fah. Ridiculous.

27/01/16
"Andy: examine other half of room"

There's not much to see, quite honestly.

27/01/16
"Andy: examine portrait"

You painted this over the course of a few weeks throughout your periods of sleep. You are quite proud of it, and would love to show it to Julie.

27/01/16
"Julie: be the other cell"

you are now Andy.

You have no recollection of what just happened at all whatsoever.

You do know that you are asleep however, as you have been in this room in many dreams.

20/01/16
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20/01/16
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20/01/16
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20/01/16
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20/01/16
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20/01/16
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20/01/16
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20/01/16
"Meanwhile..."

14/01/16
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TR: oh my gosh nooo...
TR: I am not...
AD: Are too ;)
TR: omg siri!!!
TR: stoooop Im blushing so much...
AD: Hehe, alright alright, it is true though. But that's awesome! Maybe one day you'll manage to become completely solid!
TR: I hope so...
TR: the feeling of being so real...
TR: it was amazing...
TR: thank you siri youre a wonderful friend ^ ^...
AD: Awwww don't mention it hon. *hugs*
TR: *virtually hugs my new friend siri back*...

14/01/16
"O// //O"

14/01/16
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TR: !!!
TR: that WAS me!!!
AD: Omg, Zipo! You're so pretty!!!

14/01/16
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TR: and for a brief second there...
TR: I felt...
TR: I felt more alive...
TR: more REAL than I ever have in my life...
AD: Awwww.
TR: it was like I actually existed for real...
AD:Wait, omg is that what I saw!?
TR: ???
AD: I saw a mysterious humanoid figure appear on my screen for a split second. She was wearing all white, with jeans and a jacket. Was that you!?!

14/01/16
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AD: Whoa! What just happened!? ;o
TR: thank you siri...
TR: you helped cheer me up ^ ^...

08/01/16
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08/01/16
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08/01/16
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08/01/16
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AD: I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to go through this, Zipo, but you've made it this far, haven't you? And you've been around since Sandy's birth.
AD: And things have gotten better for you since then, haven't they?
AD: I mean, you've been Albert's friend for quite a while, and now, you have me too. ;)
AD: And I know my other friends will love you too, and in their love, you'll find a home. <3

08/01/16
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PP: fighting Off these viruses and building stuff with the alchemeater
RP: The what?
PP: its a cOOl machine that lets yOu cOmbine items intO new Ones
PP: Ive managed tO make sOme useful stuff fOr self defense
RP: Ah, intere?ting.
RP: I ?ugge?t you continue doing ju?t that, for now. ?ee what you can manage to make, maybe you can create ?omething to wipe out the viru? entirely.
PP: I guess
RP: In the meantime, I'm gonna keep ?tudying thi? manual, I'll let you know if I find anymore u?eful information.
RP: Good luck, ?herlock.
PP: thanks gOOd luck tO yOu tOO 8)



-- puzzledPopo [PP] ceased pestering relativePhoton [RP] --

08/01/16
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RP: Alright, ?o, from what I've gathered from the manual, each player i? ?uppo?ed to e?tabli?h two connection?: One to a ?erver, and one to a client, with each player being the client to their ?erver, and vice ver?a.
RP: The idea i? to complete a ?ingle loop of connection? among all participating player?.
PP: alright that kinda makes sense
PP: I established a client cOnnectiOn tO andy and nOw hes my server
RP: You ?aid he wa?n't re?ponding anymore, right?.
PP: yeah
PP: Im really wOrried abOut him...
RP: Yeah, I would be too.
PP: I dOnt knOw what tO dO
RP: Well, what have you been doing?

08/01/16
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TR: don't worry it hasn't happened yet...
AD: Zipo please don't let yourself fade away!!!
AD: You're really sweet, and I know I only just met you, but already I feel like I've known you my whole life.
TR: ...

08/01/16
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AD: You're fading away?
TR: yeah...
TR: it happens when I get more depressed...
TR: and loose hope...
TR: I start to disappear...
TR: if I don't recover soon enough I think I fade away completely...
AD: !!!

05/01/16
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RP: And do our best to protect ?andy...

05/01/16
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RP: Yeah.
RP: I might be able to figure out a way to unin?tall it, but for now, I think our only option i? to keep playing.

05/01/16
"Meanwhile..."



RP: Are you ?erious? Can thi? game really manipulate reality? :?
PP: yes!
PP: and thats nOt all
PP: the place I was telepOrted tO has dna identical tO sandys!
PP: alsO the game generated a virus in sandys bOdy!
PP: and I cant reach my server player andy fOr sOme reasOn and siri wOnt listen tO me and I dOnt knOw what tO dO!!!
RP: Whoa, calm down ?herlock, who'? Andy?
PP: hes an Organism frOm a trOll
RP: :?
PP: Oh sOrry fOrgOt tO mentiOn that this game is capable Of establishing cOnnectiOns with cells frOm Other Organisms
RP: Huh.
PP: what?
RP: Nothing, but I have to ?ay I'm not all that ?urpri?ed.
RP: I mean, the game wa? able to connect my illu?ive friend to pe?tercell, ?omething ?he couldn't ever manage to do otherwi?e...
RP: ?o I always? ?u?pected it would have ?ome... Unique function?.
PP: but what can we dO?
PP: sandy may be in danger
RP: Ye?, that i? a bit unnerving.
RP: Unfortunately, it may be too late to unin?tall the game...
PP: what dO yOu mean? why?
RP: I only noticed it a few moment? ago, but in the game'? manual, written in fine print, are ?ome un?ettling word? of caution.
RP: They read: “Player? Beware. Do not in?tall ?BIO unle?? you are fully prepared to ?ee the game to it? end.”
PP: Oh
PP: fuck

08/11/15
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TR: I'm fading away...

08/11/15
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AD: !!! Shit! Zipo, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to start that topic. ;(
TR: it's okay it's not your fault...
TR: fuck it's starting again...
AD: What is?

08/11/15
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TR: *sigh* remember???
TR: I don't exist...

08/11/15
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-- translucentRiddler [TR] began pestering adamantDaisy [AD] --


AD: Zipo? Are you still there?
AD: I just saw a bunch of bizarre images flashing on my screen.
TR: oh...
TR: my...
TR: GOD!!!
TR: O O...
AD: What is it?
TR: hold on, I...
TR: just need to...
TR: catch my breath...
AD: Are you okay hon? What's wrong?
TR: I was just chased around a weird blocky landscape...
TR: these scary looking monsters were stalking me...
AD: Wait, did these monsters start out as a beige sort of color? And then change to blue and red?
TR: yeah how did you know???
AD: I saw them! They were moving around like crazy in that blocky landscape you mentioned!
AD: The game says it's called the “Land of Hoax and Illusion.”
TR: how fitting...
TR: most of those platforms I encountered made no logical sense!!!
AD: Wait a minute, I saw the monsters, but I didn't see you.
TR: huh that's weird...
AD: Yeah.
TR: oh wait...
TR: that's right...
AD: What?

08/11/15
"Zipo: collapse from exhaustion"

08/11/15
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08/11/15
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08/11/15
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08/11/15
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02/10/15
"[S] Zipo: enter portal"

05/05/15
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TR: did you say that he said that viruses chased him???
TR: because I dont see any...
AD: Maybe you haven't triggered them yet?
TR: maybe...
TR: in that case I should probably go through the portal now...
TR: I dont know if viruses could enter the subconscious or not but I dont want to find out...
TR: Im a little nervous though since Ive never been outside sandys subconscious...
AD: Awww don't worry Zipo, you'll be fine. ;)
TR: thanks for the support siri ^ ^ *does the virtual hug thing*...
AD: No problem, hun. *hugs back*
TR: well...
TR: here I go...

05/05/15
"Zipo: connect to another user"

-- adamantDaisy [AD] began pestering translucentRiddler [TR] --

AD: Hi there! ;)
TR: ...
AD: Hello?
TR: h-hello...
AD: My name's Siri, and you are?
TR: Im zipo...
AD: Well, it's nice to meet you, Zipo! ;)
TR: its uh nice to meet you too...
TR: siri...
AD: Are you from Sandy?
TR: um yes???
AD: I'm asking because another friend of mine playing the game somehow connected to a cell from another organism altogether.
TR: oh...
TR: but yeah Im from sandy...
TR: Im her conscience...
AD: Oh my god, that's so cool! What's it like? ;D
TR: honestly its pretty lonely...
AD: Awww really? ;(
TR: yeah...
TR: I know alberts told you guys about me and...
TR: well the reason we could never talk before is because I dont really exist...
AD: Wait, really? How are you talking to me then?
TR: I mean I guess I sort of exist...
TR: but not in the form of concrete reality...
AD: Well, I'm sorry you haven't had a chance to talk to anyone besides Albert, Zipo. Not that he's not a great guy, because he is, but yeah that must be rough. I'd give you a hug right now if I could.
AD: But since I can't, I'll give you the next best thing: a virtual hug!
TR: wait you can do that???
AD: Of course! Observe: *hugs* Try it! ;)
TR: oh-I-um-okay...
TR: *hugs back*...
AD: Oh goodness! ;O
TR: oh no I did something wrong didn't I Im so sorry...
AD: No, Zipo! you didn't do anything wrong! I was just surprised at how warm and welcoming that virtual hug you gave was ;)
TR: r-really???
AD: Yeah, that may have been THE best virtual hug I've ever received. ;)
TR: so you like me then???
AD: Of course I do! You're a total sweetheart, I can tell.
TR: you really think so???
AD: Zipo, I know so. ;D
AD: Zipo?
AD: You there?
TR: yeah I just...

TR: I needed a moment to compose myself...
TR: I think I almost cried there...
AD: Awww why? ;(
TR: I was so worried that you guys wouldnt like me...
TR: but you're so kind ^ ^!!!
AD: Awww. *hugs again*
TR: *hugs back again*...
TR: umm siri???
AD: Yeah?
TR: not to interrupt our virtual hug but a weird green circular thingy appeared right in front of me just now...
AD: Oh that's part of the game! Sherlock told me!
TR: sherlock???
AD: He's this really awesome red blood cell guy.
AD: Okay he's kind of insensitive sometimes, and I'm a little pissed at him right now but he's cool.
AD: But yeah, he mentioned to me that a portal appeared in front of him, and that he had to enter it before these viruses attacked him.
TR: where did it take him???
AD: To an amazing far off land of some kind! ;D
AD: You should enter your portal, and see where it takes you.

05/05/15
"==>"



Albert: Farewell, Zipo.
Zipo: goodbye, albert...

05/05/15
"Meanwhile in the subconscious..."



Zipo: oh my god it actually worked!!!
Zipo: I finally have a cellhandle...
Albert: Hurrah! now that you have a cellhandle ?et up, you can talk to my other friend?.
Zipo: hehe, yeah...
Albert: What'? the matter, Zipo? Aren't you excited to play the game? and meet my friend??
Zipo: y-yeah, but...
Zipo: what if they dont like me???
Albert: Oh, don't be ?illy, Zipo! They'll adore you!
Zipo: ...
Albert: Have faith, Zipo, my fine, tran?parent friend, you're a top notch companion, and I know my friend? will agree.
Zipo: Really???
Albert: Of cour?e.
Zipo: ^ ^...
Albert: Oh my, ?omeone i? texting me back in the phy?ical plane. I'm ?orry Zipo, but I'm afraid I'll have to go for now. 8(
Zipo: awww okay ~ ~...
Albert: I'm awfully ?orry, Zipo. 8(
Albert: Hey, I know! Why don't you connect to another u?er? My friend? are aching to meet you after all.
Zipo: okay, I-I guess I could connect to one of them now...

18/04/15
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AD: Now, if you'll excuse me, someone named translucentRiddler would like to be my client ;)
PP: but siri!


-- adamantDaisy [AD] ceased pestering puzzledPopo [PP] --

18/04/15
"Siri: answer message"

-- puzzledPopo [PP] began pestering adamantDaisy [AD] --

PP: siri are yOu there
PP: I just discOvered sOmething really unnerving
AD: What's that?
PP: sO I started up the game and it sent all these mOnsters my way fOrcing me tO flee intO this pOrtal where I talked tO my server player andy whO is a cell frOm anOther Organism entirely yet I can sOmehOw still cOmmunicate with him
AD: Hey, don't spoil it for me! I know you're excited about the game, but I wanna have fun figuring out stuff on my own, you know? ;)
PP: yOu dOn't understand
PP: this isn't just a game
PP: thOse mOnster viruses I mentiOned attacked me IN REAL LIFE
PP: and Im literally in a fantastical dangerOus land
PP: Of veins and castles
AD: Wait, so you mean to say that not only can we use this game to communicate with specimens from other organisms, but it can manipulate reality!? ;O
PP: nO!
PP: I mean yes but theres sOmething unnatural abOut it all and thOse viruses cOuld still be in sandys bOdy
PP: she cOuld be in danger!
PP: and the mOst unsettling part is that the blOOd that flOws thrOugh the veins Of this place cOntains dna identical tO sandys!
AD: That is pretty odd, but getting to physically *teleport* to a far off land sounds AMAZING! ;D
PP: siri yOu can't play that game
PP: sandys in enOugh trOuble already thanks tO me :(
AD: You're telling me NOT to play the game that I spent *DAYS* trying to obtain from the digestive system before it was even officially released!?
PP: but siri the viruses!
AD: Oh, come on Sherlock, it's not like sandy's body can't handle a lousy virus

18/04/15
"Meanwhile, back in Sandy..."

Siri has finally finished installing SBIO.

Someone appears to be pestering her.

04/04/15
"==>"

It's DNA is identical to that of SANDY'S!

How could this be!?!

04/04/15
"Sherlock: take a closer look"

Wait a minute...

Wait a minute!

04/04/15
"==>"

But wait...

Something about this blood seems oddly familiar.

04/04/15
"Sherlock: examine blood"

Eureka!

It's a match!

04/04/15
"Sherlock: stick your hand in the bloodstream"

You decide to figure out what kind of blood this is.

If it's the same TYPE as you, you should be able to drift through it without drowning.

04/04/15
"==>"

04/04/15
"==>"

You head over towards the nearest bloodstream, to get a closer look at it.

04/04/15
"Sherlock: go outside and explore"

You might as well, seeing how Andy has mysteriously stopped responding...

Did you mention that you hope he's okay? You're almost certain that you did not just mention this.

You hope he's okay...

04/04/15
"==>"

You sure hope he's okay...

23/03/15
"==>"

23/03/15
"==>"

23/03/15
"==>"

23/03/15
"==>"

23/03/15
"==>"

23/03/15
"Andy: run for it!"

06/03/15
"==>"

06/03/15
"==>"

06/03/15
"==>"

06/03/15
"==>"


PP: andy?

06/03/15
"Sherlock: mount your new roundboard"


PP: dude check this Out!

06/03/15
"Sherlock: combine Frisbee with skateboard"

You make an AWESOME ROUNDBOARD!

28/02/15
"==>"

WOW.

This is absolutely fucking useless.

28/02/15
"Sherlock: combine brick with flashlight"

You make the BRICKLIGHT.

Basically just a really heavy flashlight.

28/02/15
"Sherlock: examine contents of chest"

The chest contains one (1) small flashlight, three (3) dracula virus teeth, one (1) old black brick, one (1) red frisbee, and one (1) skateboard.

What shall you make first?

28/02/15
"==>"


PP: wOah it made a gauze gun Of sOme kind!
PP: this is awesOme Im gOnna gO cOmbine sOme mOre stuff!
PP: brb

28/02/15
"==>"


DK: Damn you killed that thing fast! You're a pretty good fighter.
PP: heh thanks
PP: I wanna be a cOp sOmeday sO that means a lOt
DK: Don't mention it o).
PP: OOh the alchemeater just ate up thOse carbs
PP: I bet it dOes sOmething cOOl
DK: Only one way to find out, go get something from the chest and put it in.
PP: there was a cOOl lOOking gun in there
PP: I'll thrOw in the rOll of gauze tOO

28/02/15
"==>"

22/02/15
"==>"

22/02/15
"Sherlock: open chest"


PP: whOa theres sOme cOOl stuff in here
PP: Im pretty sure Im gOnna need mOre Of thOse carb things tO use the alchemeater thOugh
DK: Yeah, probably.
PP: I just have tO find and kill anOther One Of thOse viruses
DK: Uh, Sherlock, look up...

22/02/15
"==>"

22/02/15
"==>"

22/02/15
"==>"


PP: this is the alchemeater?
DK: Yeah.
PP: huh
DK: What?
PP: it lOOks like a digestive system
DK: Maybe a little, the mouth I could see, but the rest of it...
DK: I don't know, it just looks a bit, off.
PP: whats yOur Organisms digestive system lOOk like?
DK: Sort of similar I guess.
PP: Oh
PP: anyways I guess I shOuld put sOmething in the mOuth and see what it dOes
PP: Only I dOnt really have anything tO put in it
DK: You have that roll of gauze, and there was a black chest back by the entrance.
DK: Hang on, I'll go get it.

19/02/15
"==>"


DK: You did! We have enough to buy that other thing now!
PP: Oh cOOl what is it?
DK: Something called an Alchemeater.
DK: Go back, I'm gonna deploy it closer to the castle's entrance.
PP: Okay

19/02/15
"==>"


DK: Alright, nice going! oD.
DK: Hey, what's that thing you just got?
PP: I dOnt knOw
PP: nOr dO I knOw hOw it absOrbed intO me O_O
DK: Wait a minute, I think you just got some carbs!

19/02/15
"Sherlock: kick it or something"

19/02/15
"==>"


DK: Now's your chance! Kill it!
PP: hOw!?
PP: Ive never killed a virus befOre!
DK: I don't know, just kick it or something!

07/02/15
"==>"

07/02/15
"==>"

07/02/15
"==>"

07/02/15
"==>"

07/02/15
"==>"


PP: Ok umm what dO I dO with it?
DK: I don't know o/.

07/02/15
"==>"


DK: All I can give you right now is this roll of gauze.

07/02/15
"==>"


DK: It takes me back to the menu.
DK: Evidently I don't know what else I expected...
PP: yeah Ok sO is any Of that stuff useful?

07/02/15
"==>"


DK: Anyways, lets see what menu does.

19/01/15
"==>"


DK: Oh wow, now THIS is some insightful stuff oD.
PP: why? whats it say?
DK: It's showing me all of those monsters you encountered, and what they are.
DK: There a kind of pathogen, apparently, called the "Dracula Virus".
PP: all Of them?
DK: Yeah, they're all the same virus, but at different "tiers".
PP: damn, thOse things were scary enOugh as it is, and nOw yOure telling me theyre viruses!?
DK: 'Fraid so.
PP: :O
DK: It also says you have zero "carbs".
PP: like carbOhydrates?
DK: Hell if I know o/.
DK: And there's another list, showing the items "alchemized".
DK: Whatever that means.

19/01/15
"==>"


DK: Now let's see what "Archive" is.

19/01/15
"==>"


DK: Hmm...
PP: what?
DK: It displayed 2 items, one of which is unavailable right now I think.
PP: what abOut the item that is available?
DK: It's a roll of gauze.
PP: gauze? like fOr dressing wOunds?
DK: Yeah, I think so.
PP: huh
DK: I'll see what we can do with that later.
PP: Ok

19/01/15
"==>"


DK: Now I'm gonna try selecting "Bestow".

10/01/15
"==>"


DK: Okay, I just tried examining you.
DK: It says you're the "Heir of Blood."
PP: whats that mean?
DK: I don't know o/.

10/01/15
"==>"


DK: Okay, on my screen I have four options to choose from: "Examine, Bestow, Archive, and Menu."
DK: I'll try selecting Examine.
PP: Okay

10/01/15
"==>"


PP: Oh, sOrry, my names sherlOck
DK: Nice to make acquaintance, my name's Andy.
DK: That wasn't actually my question though, I was asking WHAT you are, not who you are.
PP: what dO yOu mean what am I?
DK: Like, what kind of cell are you? I mean, you look a little like a blood cell I guess, but...
PP: I am, I'm a red blOOd cell
DK: A red blood cell? I mean, not that it bothers me.
DK: Red is my favorite color after all o).
DK: I just didn't realize Osiris HAD red blood cells o/.
PP: Osiris?
DK: Yeah, you know? The troll we live in?
PP: whats a trOll?
PP: I live in a human, named sandy
DK: A human?
PP: yeah
DK: Wait, so you're from an entirely different organism!? oO
PP: yeah, I guess sO but
PP: hOw is it even pOssible fOr us tO play sbiO On the same netwOrk? let alOne cOntact each Other
DK: I'm not sure...
DK: But maybe we can figure that out later, for now, I think we should focus on figuring out how to play this game.
DK: Because it's clearly put you in some very real danger.
PP: yeah, I guess yOu're right
PP: sO gO ahead, see if yOu can figure anything Out

06/01/15
"==>"


DK: What are you?

06/01/15
"==>"


PP: dude hOly shit
PP: are yOu still there?
DK: Yeah, I'm here.
DK: I just watched you run around that strange landscape.
PP: it sure is strange
PP: and dangerOus!
PP: dO yOu have any idea where I am?
DK: Well, on my screen it displayed the name "Land of Veins and Castles" so I guess that's where you are.
PP: alsO wait
PP: did yOu say yOu cOuld see me?
DK: Yeah, I'm not sure how it's possible, but I can see you.
DK: Speaking of which, and don't take this the wrong way, but...

06/01/15
"==>"

06/01/15
"==>"

01/01/15
"[S] Sherlock: look around"

01/01/15
"BEGIN ACT 3"

You are now Sherlock.

After leaping through that portal, you have emerged in a strange place.

Where could you be?

26/09/14
"END OF INTERMISSION"

26/09/14
"==>"

OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT!!!!!!!!

26/09/14
"==>"

You shouldn't have had those Fruit Gushers.

26/09/14
"==>"

OHHHHH SHIT!!!

26/09/14
"==>"

Oh shit.

26/09/14
"==>"

Suddenly you don't feel very good.

26/09/14
"==>"

26/09/14
"Osiris: go check on PACK.R@"

Looks like he really did a number on those viruses, you knew he would.

Good PACK.R@. Best friend.

26/09/14
"==>"

Well that was fun, a huge waste of time, but fun.

04/09/14
"Osiris: try on your wigs in a flashy montage"

Oh HELL yes!

04/09/14
"==>"

You leave PACK.R@ to fighting those viruses, it'll take a while.

What will you do in the meantime?

04/09/14
"==>"

Oh, FUCK no.

PACK.R@ is just NOT having this shit.

04/09/14
"Osiris: eliminate those pesky viruses"

You start up your computer again and run #CAKE on the terminal. #CAKE is a program you designed half a sweep ago, and now you don't know how you ever managed to live without it. It's purpose is simply to make everything much easier.

You place all of the viruses into a single unit, and send them to PACK.R@, a specialized virus combater.

31/07/14
"==>"

31/07/14
"Osiris: click on th-"

31/07/14
"==>"

After an astonishing five minutes-record time-you are online.

Let's just see how long you can stay online...

31/07/14
"Osiris: go online"

You hesitantly double click the TOXOID icon, it's probably the shittiest Internet browser ever made.

Not only is it painfully slow, but it also downloads about 500 viruses every time you use it; it's literally programmed to download every virus it can find onto your hard drive. When you look something up (assuming you can even get the damn search engine working) it takes you FOREVER to find what your looking for, even the most commonly known websites take hours to track down. It almost always crashes, and is constantly lagging. Worst of all, it displays numerous pop-up ads.

Ever since you installed it, your whole computer runs slower, not just the Internet.

Yes siree, TOXOID was DOOMED from the start.

31/07/14
"==>"

You are now on the computer.

30/07/14
"==>"

30/07/14
"Osiris: go turn your computer on"

Not a bad idea! It'll just take a few moments.

30/07/14
"Osiris: climb back down"

Sigh, your reign was fun while it lasted.

30/07/14
"Osiris: climb the pile! be king* of the hill!"

YES!

HELL YES!!

HELL FUCKING YES!!!

*Trolls don't have kings, so you shall be the grand highblood

30/07/14
"Osiris: examine that pile of clothes"

This is where you keep all of your necessities, namely, food and clothes. Mostly just chips and energy drinks, but you've lived off this fine cuisine for the majority of your life, and your not about to give it up.

A few of those disgusting FRUIT GUSHERS are somewhere on the surface.

Your many WIGS are also contained deep within in the pile.

28/07/14
"==>"

Charon is kind of a pain in the ass sometimes, but you couldn't ask for a better lusus.

He's taken great care of you over the years, despite your reluctance to fulfill his demands of you to kill.

28/07/14
"...Where?"

Why, right in front of you!

28/07/14
"Osiris: descend the stairs and seek out your lusus"

Ah, here he is.

19/07/14
"==>"

Besides, you can't reach the damn thing.

19/07/14
"Osiris: open the hatch and look around outside"

ABSOLUTELY NOT!

You wouldn't DARE go outside right now, it's the middle of the night! Anyone who saw you would surely kill you on the spot. You're sort of a fugitive around here; not for reluctantly taking several lives at the request of your lusus, but for stealing high tech equipment from several facilities.

You needed the equipment for your advanced inventions, but you won't for long. You have recently created the SENDAPPEARIFIER, a device that allows you to send AND receive things from over long distances. Once you perfect it, you won't ever have to leave your home again.

But you're certainly not leaving now, it's too dangerous.

19/07/14
"Osiris: ascend to the top of those stairs"

You climb up the spiral stairway, up to the hatch leading outside.

12/07/14
"==>"

Your name is OSIRIS KRANJU.

As was previously mentioned, you are hyped up on potentially lethal energy stimulants, and are DYING for some excitement.

You are a SKILLED HACKER AND INVENTOR, and very much enjoy TINKERING WITH VARIOUS GADGETS.

You also like to MAKE WIGS, but ARE NOT VERY GOOD AT IT. The one you are currently wearing is your best by far, and you generally stick with it. Still, it's nice to spice things up every now and then and switch to one of your LESSER WIGS.

You are VERY HIGH on the hemospectrum, as your blood color would indicate. You have a few PSYCHIC ABILITIES, but very rarely use any of them.

You were BRED AS A KILLER, but are very reluctant to harm anything; unfortunately, your LUSUS still makes you spill blood on occasion.

You are also VERY LAZY, and DON'T LIKE TO LEAVE THE HOUSE. you only leave when your LUSUS demands it.

You don't use a chat client. Instead, you >send_messages_directly_through_a_terminal.txt under the alias terminalToupee

What will you do?

12/07/14
"Enter Name"

12/07/14
"==>"

A young troll stands in his respiteblock.

It seems he has just finished a bottle of his favorite ENERGY DRINK. He is FIRED UP and READY FOR SOME ACTION.

What will the name of this young troll be?

12/07/14
"Serrated Milliner: come to your senses and resume the actual story"

06/07/14
"THIS IS STUPID"

06/07/14
"These commands aren't even fan suggested, you type them all yourse"

06/07/14
"==>"

-I'm going even MORE meta. Maybe next time you'll think twice before typing something heinous in the suggestions box.

06/07/14
"Well look who thinks he's the next Hussie"

You know what? Just for that-

06/07/14
"==>"

Homesick is certainly no Homestuck, but I put my heart and soul-which are apparently the same thing-into this fan adventure. I carefully crafted each and every character with a little help from some sprite bases, drew and photoshopped every last background, wasted hours upon hours creating the rip-off gif you see above this text, and painstakingly formatted each and every pesterlog with HTML codes, do you have any idea how tedious that shit is!?!

I put in all this work, and all you have to show for it is "BLUH BLUH SHOW US THE CHARACTER." Shame. on. YOU!

06/07/14
"Homesick author: stop with this Hussie-style-meta-bullshit!"

Excuse you!

First of all, the name's Serrated Milliner. Second, that's just what you get for yelling at me to reveal the next main character like that, you Homesick fans need to show some respect, all 2 of you.

06/07/14
"....."

Would you look at that! we sure are zoomed out.

That IS what you wanted, right?

06/07/14
"Um..."

Wow, just LOOK at that character!

06/07/14
"...Yes?"

Oh I'll zoom out alright.

06/07/14
"Homesick author: ZOOM OUT AND REVEAL THE TROLL GUY ALREADY!!"

What's that? You want me to zoom out?

06/07/14
"==>"

A young troll stands in his respiteblock.

06/07/14
"And a half hour in the past..."

06/07/14
"Meanwhile, back on Alternia..."

01/07/14
"Wait... is that what happened when-"

Yep.

01/07/14
"==>"

Nighty night.

01/07/14
"==>"

You lay down on your awesome red blood cell bed (or "bed blood cell" as you like to call it) and prepare to fall asleep.

01/07/14
"Hey! Looks like your friend is pestering you"

Darn, and you were really looking forward to reading that.

After what feels like forever, the stupid thing finally loads.

-- terminalToupee [TT] began pestering bioticBeaker [BB] --

TT: >hi_sandy_how_are_you_doing.txt
BB: hey bro, I'm pretty good, just finished brushing my teeth for the 4th time today.
TT: >let_me_guess_ozzy_and_drix.txt
BB: well yeah, who knows? maybe the cells in my body fly around in tiny helicopters taking toothpaste from my mouth, and then shoot that toothpaste at undesirable zits.
TT: >sure_they_do_:p.txt
BB: hey, don't make fun of me, I don't make fun of you for liking Osmosis Jones more than it's CLEARLY superior spin-off.
TT: >that_show_didn't_have_enough_dirty_humor.txt
BB: because it didn't NEED dirty humor.
TT: >I_beg_to_differ.txt
TT: >I_love_the_scene_where_franks_zit_pops_off_his_face_and_onto_the_teacher_humans_lips.txt
BB: oh god, PLEASE don't put that image in my head again. >_<
TT: >alright_alright_fine_haha_damn.txt
BB: anyways, how are you doing?
TT: >Im_ok_but_still_cant_get_the_taste_of_those_gushers_out_of_my_mouth_DX.txt
BB: ugh I know, they were AWFUL DX
BB: thanks again for sending them to me *sarcasm*
TT: >damn_it_sandy_you_know_sarcasm_is_a_hard_concept_for_trolls_to_grasp.txt
TT: >lets_see.txt
TT: >if_you_were_expressing_me_thanks_but_you_were_being_sarcastic_then_you_were_really_expressing_distaste_towards_my_gesture_am_I_correct.txt
BB: right on the money
TT: >ok_but_come_on_I_had_to_test_my_sendappearifier_and_I_picked_a_random_object_and_location_that_just_happened_to_be_a_box_of_unreleased_fruit_gushers_in_a_betty_crocker_facility.txt
TT: >then_I_had_to_test_the_sending_function_by_sending_it_to_you.txt
BB: what is a sendappearifier anyways?
TT: >its_like_a_sendificator_and_appearifier_combined.txt
BB: ...what?
TT: >ugh_a_sendificator_sends_objects_over_great_distances_while_an_appearifier_makes_them_appear_in_its_holders_location.txt
BB: sooo its a 2 way teleporter?
TT: >a_what.txt
BB: never mind. >_>
BB: hey I should probably go to bed, its late and Im tired.
TT: >you_want_me_to_help_you_fall_asleep_again.txt
BB: please do, I HATE waiting to fall asleep.
TT: >that_wasn't_sarcasm_was_it.txt
BB: no, I was being sincere.
TT: >ok_go_lie_down_and_Ill_put_you_to_sleep_with_my_spooky_alien_mind_powers_as_you_call_them_:p_good_night.txt
BB: haha, good night.


-- terminalToupee [TT] ceased pestering bioticBeaker [BB] --

28/06/14
"Sandy: pick a random page"

You end up on the page displaying an Ozzy & Drix fan fiction you were gonna read at some point. Might as well read it now.

Ozzy awoke from a long sleep, he had no idea where he was. "I've gotta find dris" he said. then polly came into the room. "Why hello there, ozzy. Are you ready for some fun??""stupid allergen, of COURSE im ready." responded ozzy, taking off his-

28/06/14
"Sandy: go to your bookmarks"

You click the star, and look through your bookmarks.

Oh which one shall you select?

28/06/14
"==>"

In a split second, you are online.

The PANACEA icon hovers above the search bar. When you click on it, it gives you helpful advice, kind of like the paper clip guy, except not a huge prick. No, the PANACEA icon is able to provide you with ODDLY SPECIFIC ANSWERS to any problems in life you may be dealing with, and it's never steered you wrong with it's answers.

Anyways, what will you do?

28/06/14
"Sandy: find something else to do on the Internet"

You double click the PANACEA icon, it's probably the greatest Internet browser ever made.

Not only is it really fast, but it also scans for viruses 24/7, without you having to do anything. When you look something up, it instantly finds the exact thing you're searching for, even the most obscure information. It never crashes, or even lags. Best of all, it disables all advertisements.

Ever since you installed it, your whole computer runs faster, not just the Internet. Even PESTERCHAP runs slightly faster.

Yes siree, PANACEA is a real LIFE SAVER.

27/06/14
"Sandy: forget the logo and check if your mysterious friend is online"

It appears that he is not. Even if he were, you would have to wait a while before you could talk to him.

This shitty chat client takes forever to load. If it weren't for the fact that this particular chat client just so happens to be the only one compatible with your friend's allegedly alien chat client, you would switch to a better one.

Although, if what he says is true, you're amazed that you can connect to someone from another universe at all.

27/06/14
"==>"

You look into the unbreakable gaze of these gleeful fuckers.

Ugh, what a menacing look. Do they know something you don't? What the fuck are they hiding from you!?

Every time you go on pesterchap, you can't help but wonder if those chipper, neon nitwits are plotting against you.

27/06/14
"Sandy: open pesterchap"

you double click what is probably the shittiest icon ever, perfect for the shittiest chat client ever.

You've always hated this logo.

27/06/14
"==>"

18/06/14
"Sandy: go see if he's online"

Splendid idea, you haven't heard from him in a while.

18/06/14
"Who is your mysterious friend?"

You met him online, and don't know much about him, just that he claims to be an alien of some kind from another universe.

You were skeptical at first, but after he demonstrated some REMARKABLE POWERS, you were quite inclined to believe him.

18/06/14
"Osmosis Jones?"

Yes, Osmosis Jones.

Much like it's spin-off series, this movie is really amaz...

It's quite a masterp...

It's really clev...

...It's creative.

You have to admit though, you really didn't like it all that much, you found the live action scenes to be way too gross, and Frank was kind of an annoying idiot. The one great thing about this movie is it features BILL MURRAY, your favorite actor of all time, and he does a pretty good job in it, despite the horrid character he has to work with.

You actually discovered this movie after the show. When you did, you got very excited, only to be thoroughly disappointed.

Your MYSTERIOUS FRIEND disagrees. He actually enjoyed this movie.

18/06/14
"Sandy: examine that other Ozzy & Drix poster"

Actually, that is an OSMOSIS JONES poster, the movie the show was based on.

18/06/14
"==>"

What will you do now?

08/06/14
"==>"

Oh, and there's these.

With the help of a MYSTERIOUS FRIEND, you managed to get your hands on Betty Crocker's newest flavor of Fruit Gushers: BODACIOUS BIO-BERRY BINGE. They haven't even released these to the public yet!

You tried some earlier, and were a little disappointed. They had a strange taste you can't quite describe, it was like nothing you've ever tasted before, and you're not quite sure you want to taste it again. it's almost as if they weren't meant for human consumption.

08/06/14
"Sandy: rummage through that bookshelf, surely there must be something interesting"

Well, if by interesting you mean a bunch of extremely thick biology textbooks that you have read countless times, then yes, there are many interesting things on this shelf indeed. To you anyways.

08/06/14
"And what about that one?"

Oh, your ex-boyfriend gave you syphilis.

For some reason a lot of people flip the fuck out when you tell them that.

08/06/14
"This is incredibly silly, do something else"

Oh, alright.

You stand among more of your giant microbes.

The plushie behind you is tuberculosis, your very first giant microbe. It was a gift from your mother.

The plushie beside you is kissing disease, a present from your grandmother.

Up there on the shelf is the common cold, your absolute favorite. You forget who gave you this one.

02/06/14
"==>"

That goes for you too, missy!

02/06/14
"==>"

Keep your distance! You hear!?

02/06/14
"==>"

You get away from her!

Do you know what could have happened!?

02/06/14
"==>"

02/06/14
"==>"

AND WHAT DO YOU TWO THINK YOU'RE DOING!?!

02/06/14
"Sandy: notice how close that sperm plushie is to that egg plushie"

!!!!!!!

02/06/14
"Ok, I think we get the idea"

Sorry, you just get so wrapped up in that show sometimes.

What will you do next?

27/05/14
"Ozzy & Drix?"

Why yes, haven't you seen it?

It's only the GREATEST SHOW OF ALL TIME!!! You've been watching it as long as you can remember, and you've always loved it.

It follows the adventures of a white blood cell and a cold pill in this kid's body, as they pursue and duel the many germs, toxins, and contagions that enter his body.

Ozzy is the white blood cell, and he's a total badass, but also a bit of a screw-up. Drix is the cold pill, and your favorite character, he's generally the more sensible one, but he's also a huge goofy nerd, and you love him.

This show has shaped your life in more ways then you can count.

There was one episode where Hector got a zit, on yearbook picture day no less! So Ozzy and Drix got into these tiny helicopters and took tooth paste from Hector's mouth, then they shot that toothpaste at the zit, destroying it. To this day, you brush your teeth four times a day to keep your acne in check. Ok, so it's probably BS, but who knows? maybe the cells in your body fly around in tiny helicopters taking toothpaste from your mouth, and then shoot that toothpaste at undesirable zits. You hope the cells in your body fly around in tiny helicopters taking toothpaste from your mouth, and then shoot that toothpaste at undesirable zits.

Alas, you sometimes wish you could speak with the cells in your body, you would finally have answers these profound questions.

27/05/14
"Sandy: examine that poster behind you"

Oh, that's just your Ozzy & Drix poster.

27/05/14
"==>"

As was previously mentioned, your name is SANDY ZOLTAN.

You have a passionate and insatiable obsession with BIOLOGY. You like to study MANY DIFFERENT LIFEFORMS, ESPECIALLY HUMANS.

At the moment, you are only able to pursue this interest by READING REALLY THICK TEXTBOOKS, but someday, you hope to become a PROFESSIONAL BIOLOGIST.

You own several GIANT MICROBES, which are all littered throughout your room, you collect them for semi-educational purposes... and they're just so gosh darned cute.

You have a VERY POSITIVE OUTLOOK for most of the part, and often find yourself HIGH ON LIFE.

You use a CHAT CLIENT called PESTERCHAP. You're chaphandle on this client is bioticBeaker and you speak in a pretty normal way.

What will you do?

27/05/14
"Sandy: turn on the lights"

That's better.

27/05/14
"Sandy: head back to your room"

27/05/14
"==>"

Your name is SANDY ZOLTAN.

It's a little hard to see you in that dark bathroom, perhaps you should head back to your room?

27/05/14
"Enter Name"

27/05/14
"BEGIN INTERMISSION"

What will the name of this young lady be?

25/05/14
"==>"

25/05/14
"==>"

25/05/14
"==>"

A young lady stands in her bathroom, brushing her teeth for the 4th time today.

25/05/14
"And an hour in the past..."

25/05/14
"Meanwhile, back on Earth..."

23/05/14
"END OF ACT 2"

23/05/14
"==>"

You have a feeling it's going to be an awesome day.

23/05/14
"Julie: be the other cell"

Ok mr/mrs/ms ADD, you are now the other cell... again.

Andy has installed SBIO, and is chatting with the only other player online.

22/05/14
"Julie: exit the room"

Let the stroll begin!

22/05/14
"==>"

The door has been there as long as you can remember. You absolutely love the pretty star it exhibits.

You can't help but wonder why "Witch of Hope" is written on it. It is a curious door indeed.

22/05/14
"Julie: fancy a stroll"

Yes, a stroll is exactly what you shall take, but not before admiring this lovely door.

22/05/14
"Julie: flip the switch on that mirror"

You flip the switch that the fellow reader was absolutely without a doubt able to see. It activates the window function.

You love looking at the WHITE CITY, it's so mesmerizing.

You think you might fancy a stroll.

22/05/14
"Ok, be the OTHER other cell then"

You are now the other other cell.

22/05/14
"Andy: be the other cell"

You are already being the other cell, silly!

01/05/14
"==>"


Antibody no. 765: Have fun with the absurd device.
Andy: Heh, thanks. I'm sure I will.

01/05/14
"==>"


Antibody no. 765: Much better.
Antibody no. 765: AnYwaYs I've come to deliver You this game.
Andy: Ooh fun! o) What game?
Antibody no. 765: I believe it's called SBIO.

24/04/14
"Oh, look who's come to see you"


Antibody no. 765: Hello... um, AndY?
Andy: Yes, that's me.
Andy: Wow 765, nice going, it usually takes you much longer to get it right o).
Antibody no. 765: Thank You.
Andy: Yeah, so what brings you here?
Antibody no. 765: Well, You see... excuse me for one moment please.

24/04/14
"Napoleon: be the other cell"

You are now the other cell.

10/04/14
"Whoever he is"

10/04/14
"Napoleon: Put your foe's host to sleep"

You really love messing with that guy.

10/04/14
"Meanwhile, back in the thinkpan..."

Napoleon is busy taunting a distant foe.

10/04/14
"==>"


Antibody no. 765: AnYwaYs Jules, here's the game if You'd like to plaY it.
Antibody no. 765: I can't imagine whY you're so quiet.
Antibody no. 765: Wait, are You... sleeping?
Antibody no. 765: For goodness sake Jules, cells don't sleep, You know that.
Antibody no. 765: ...
Antibody no. 765: Had I a face, I would be slapping it with the palm of this loathsome "hand."
Antibody no. 765: AnYwaYs, I have to be on mY waY, goodbYe Jules.

10/04/14
"==>"


Vacuna: HeY, um... god what was her name again?
Vacuna: Jules or something? Whatever, Jules wake up, I've got a game for You.
Vacuna: Hello? Jules are You hearing me?
Vacuna: ...
Vacuna: Guess not.
Vacuna: God, I hate being in this bodY Jules, You have no idea.
Vacuna: ...
Vacuna: Just felt like telling someone.
Vacuna: God even talking to You like this makes me uncomfortable, hold on.
Antibody no. 765: That's better.

10/04/14
"==>"

Lets get this over with.

26/03/14
"==>"

God, you feel so... so dirty.

26/03/14
"Fine, Antibody no. 765: RETRIEVE TORSO FROM HEAD"

Oh alright.

It was required for this delivery anyways...

26/03/14
"Vacuna: retrieve torso from head"

Excuse you.

Did you not just read that this fellow antibody prefers to be called antibody no. 765?

And furthermore, did you not just read that he feels uncomfortable in a humanoid body?

Had he a face, it would look very cross right about now.

Try that again, and this time, address him properly.

26/03/14
"==>"

Your name is VACUNA SANKARI, although you prefer to be called ANTIBODY NO. 765. As was previously mentioned, you currently posses three copies of SBIO. You have been delivering them to your FRIENDS.

You were created when OSIRIS got his cluckbeast pox shots, your job is PREVENTING THIS PARTICULAR VIRUS FROM SPREADING. It is indeed a privilege, and you are HONORED to defend your home. Still, you wish you were capable of more, and you often dream of performing HEROIC DEEDS.

You are highly against the ANTHROPOMORPHIZATION OF CELLS AND SUCH, this is why you DON'T HAVE A FACE. You occasionally will manifest a body, but this is only because it MAKES WORK EASIER sometimes.

You have a hard time understanding your FRIENDS, and their fondness of LIMBS AND ORIFICES, as you feel QUITE CONTENT manifesting yourself as a simple antibody. You sometimes forget to call them by their NAMES.

Your cellhandle is orderlySentry and you Speak verY diligentlY.

What will you do?

26/03/14
"Enter Name"

26/03/14
"Meanwhile, back in Osiris..."

A young antibody drifts through his vessels.

And with him, he carries three copies of the acclaimed SBIO.

23/03/14
"==>"

23/03/14
"==>"

Pleasant dreams then.

23/03/14
"Julie: Go to sle-"

Oh, it appears you already have.

22/03/14
"==>"

A true visionary indeed.

22/03/14
"==>"

You are a true visionary.

22/03/14
"==>"

22/03/14
"==>"

22/03/14
"==>"

22/03/14
"==>"

22/03/14
"==>"

22/03/14
"==>"

So OSIRIS can process the image.

22/03/14
"==>"

Now to send it up to the gander pipes.

21/03/14
"==>"

(click the image to see what the referance 8^y)

21/03/14
"Andy: finish the painting"

21/03/14
"Andy: answer your awesome girlfriend"

-- craftyStarlet [CS] began pestering dalisKaleidoscope [DK] --

CS: []\ Hey Andy ;) []|
CS: []\ What're you up to? []|
DK: Hey Julie! I'm not doing much, just painting.
CS: []\ What of? []|
DK: Osiris's computer.
CS: []\ Again? Don't you ever get bored of painting that? []|
DK: Oh not at all, I find it to be a most fascinating subject, much like everything I see from the eye.
CS: []\ I bet []|
CS: []\ I should come up there sometime and check out this eye, it seems like a breathtaking experience :) []|
DK: Not as breathtaking as you )).
DK: Wow, I just realized how stupid my winking icon looks.
CS: []\ What you mean ))? It looks alright []|
DK: Yeah I guess...
DK: Anyways what are you up to? o)
CS: []\ I'm not doing anything, just standing by this genetic material []|
CS: []\ And actually, I'm a bit tired, I think I might go to sleep soon []|
DK: Again?
DK: Boy you sure do like sleep.
CS: []\ Well yeah, the white city I always dream of is just so wonderful :) []|
CS: []\ I've even seen you in it, but you're always asleep []|
DK: Guess I really am the guy of your dreams op.
CS: []\ Haha, it would seem so []|
CS: []\ You know, the white city might be an awesome setting for a movie! I'll just need to figure out how to get a camera there []|
DK: Well if you see me there again, try to wake me up and I'll help you find one o).
CS: []\ Oh believe me, I've tried to wake you up, but you sleep sound as a snore cell []|
DK: Heh, but even if you did get a camera there, it is just a dream.
CS: []\ But... It feels oddly real, I can't describe how, it just sort of does []|
DK: If it were real, that would be pretty awesome!
CS: []\ Yeah, it sure would []|
DK: Anyways, I've gotta finish this painting, so I'll talk to you later. o)
DK: Oh and have a nice nap.
CS: []\ Later cutie ;) thanks []|
DK: <3


-- craftyStarlet [CS] ceased pestering dalisKaleidoscope [DK] --

21/03/14
"Julie: text your awesome boyfriend"

19/03/14
"==>"

Your name is JULIE KINENA. As was previously mentioned, you are standing by some genetic material. That's pretty much all there is to say on the matter.

You love FILM and everything about it, you hope to one day become a FAMOUS ACTRESS.

Oftentimes you are asked-in a very suggestive manner-what kind of films you would like to make, and it has been getting INCREASINGLY ANNOYING. Just because you're a BULGE CELL, does not mean you are only interested in smut, on the contrary, you want to produce TIMELESS MASTERPIECES.

You are known for being QUITE MISCHIEVOUS, but you always mean well.

You have a pretty awesome BOYFRIEND, who totally digs you.

Your cellhandle is craftyStarlet and you []\ Have a very melodramatic way of speaking []| you also begin and end all of your sentences with CUTE LITTLE CLAPBOARDS.

What will you do?

19/03/14
"Enter Name"

19/03/14
"==>"

A young bulge cell stands by her... er, genetic material.

18/03/14
"==>"

18/03/14
"Aso: answer text"

-- orderlySentry [OS] began pestering elatedJunkie [EJ] --

OS: Salutations windsack cell no. 674.
EJ: br0, we t4lked 4b0ut thi2 m4n, remember?
OS: Ah Yes, mY apologies.
OS: Salutations, Aso.
EJ: l0l, th4t2 better m4n ^_^
OS: AnYwaYs, I am approaching the entrance to our mightY universe's windhole.
OS: I will be sending down a game, a game of the video sort.
EJ: 20... y0ure 2ending d0wn 4 vide0 g4me?
OS: PreciselY.
OS: I have alreadY delivered 2 copies for twine cell n-I mean for Napoleon, and his unpleasant friend.
EJ: hey c0me 0n n0w br0... kif02 4lright
EJ: l42t time 2he f0rcibly p022e22ed me I 0nly felt 4g0nizing p4in f0r like... 5 minute2
EJ: 4nd 2he 0nly d0es it c4u2e 2he2 like 2uper l0nely :(
OS: Be that as it maY, I am still not verY fond of her.
OS: Now then, I am delivering these games to you sillY anthropomorphs because I am sure You will all enjoY them.
EJ: 0000h y4y! where did y0u find it?
OS: I came across it in the stomach, and from what I've heard its supposed to be a verY good game.
OS: And it hasn't even been released Yet, so all of You will have earlY access.
EJ: wh4t fun! 4re y0u g0nn4 pl4y t00?
OS: I do have an extra copY, so I might consider plaYing it.
OS: ProbablY not though.
OS: AnYwaYs, I just sent the game down, make sure You get it.


-- orderlySentry [OS] ceased pestering elatedJunkie [ES] --

18/03/14
"==>"

Someone is texting you.

17/03/14
"==>"

MUCH better.

17/03/14
"==>"

17/03/14
"==>"

17/03/14
"==>"

You were almost sober.

17/03/14
"Aso: Inhale some of that greenish stuff"

Good idea.

13/03/14
"==>"

Your name is ASO IZDISATI. As was previously mentioned, you look WAY TOO HAPPY.

You direct AIR CURRENTS through OSIRIS's windsack... or at least, that's what you're supposed to do. You're actually a HUGE DEADBEAT and leave the work to the other windsack cells.

You like to trap WEIRD CHEMICALS that OSIRIS inhales, once they are stored you like to MIX THEM and create NEW WICKED CONCOCTIONS. Many a cell have come to you, curious to try your elixirs.

You've heard tell that what you do is BAD FOR OSIRIS, but you doubt that. The mixtures just make you and everyone else who dares to try them feel so good.

You hope to one day recreate the formula for the infamous EUPHORIC HUNGERFERN. OSIRIS has only inhaled it once, and ever since, you've been set on perfecting it's KILLER FORMULA.

Your cellhandle is elatedJunkie and you spe4k in 4 20rt 0f like... rel4xed w4y, y0u kn0w m4n?

What will you do?

13/03/14
"Enter Name"

13/03/14
"Whoa okay, I think we need to take a breather from these two..."

A young windsack cell basks in her zephyr, she looks really happy...

...a little TOO happy.

What will the name of this young cell be?

08/03/14
"GÌÍÌÍÍ£ÌÍÌÌÌÍÍͤÌͯÍÌ̡͢Í̸̸ÍÌ Ì©Ì£ÍÍ̱Ị̻̀ÍÌ­UͧͥÌÍÍÍ̵̵ͯÍÒ̬ÍÌ°ÌYÍͫͦÌÌÌÌͦ͠ÍÒ̧ÍÌ°ÍḬ̹̠̮́"

08/03/14
"TÍ̧H̶̨A̢̡TÌÍÌ´"

08/03/14
"H̸AÌŢE"

08/03/14
"YOU REALLY"

08/03/14
"==>"

YOU REALLY HATE THAT GUY.

08/03/14
"==>"

YOU HATE THAT GUY.

08/03/14
"Napoleon: leave Kifo"


Napoleon: HERE TAKE THE GAME.
Napoleon: M!GHT BE A POTENT!AL COP!NG MECHAN!SM FOR YOUR D!SAB!L!TY.
Napoleon: TA TA.

08/03/14
"=͡≠>"


Kifo: TÍHAT ÌWAS̸ UNCÌ·AÒLLEÍ¢D FOÌ¢R YOU ÍFUÍCÍ¢KÍINÍGÌ´ ̸SH̸IÍ¡TÍ¢F̧ACED Ì·AÍ SÌSÌ¡BÌAÌ´G!Í

01/03/14
"==>"


Napoleon: EX!ST!NG.

01/03/14
"==>"


Kifo: WHAT DO YOU WANT ASSBAG!
Napoleon: ! JUST CAME TO G!VE YOU A COPY OF TH!S GAME.
Napoleon: BUT !F YOU'RE GONNA TALK TO ME L!KE THAT THEN YOU CAN FORGET !T.
Napoleon: BES!DES, ! HAVE MORE !MPORTANT TH!NGS TO DO ANYWAYS, L!KE SAY...

01/03/14
"==>"


Napoleon: C'MON, UP TOP.
Kifo: ...

01/03/14
"==>"


Napoleon: HELLO K!FO.

01/03/14
"Napoleon: contact your friend"

21/02/14
"==>"

Your name is NAPOLEON REFLEJO, and your personality has a real SPARK to it.

You control a number of OSIRIS' REFLEXIVE MOVEMENTS, of which are ordered to you by his INSTINCTS. You are very glad to be a voltaic twine cell and not one of those smart ass judicious twine cells. Those brainiacs can keep their big words, you prefer to speak with ACTIONS.

You have frequent desires to CONQUER AND DEFEAT, but seldom get to demonstrate your desire for power. You hope to someday RULE THE ENTIRE BODY.

You have quite the EGO, and it is starting to annoy your friends.

Your cellhandle is epizooticTyrant and YOU SPEAK !N AN OBNOX!OUS, ARROGANT !D!OM.

What will you do?

21/02/14
"Enter Name"

18/02/14
"==>"

A young voltaic twine cell stands atop his think pan. A short while ago, he received a copy of the much anticipated game SBIO. He looks forward to playing it.

What will the name of this young cell be?

18/02/14
"==>"

Very sinister.

18/02/14
"==>"

You can't quite put your finger on it, but there's something about it that strikes you as sinister.

18/02/14
"Kifo: gaze deep into the subliminub"

You see a STRANGE SYMBOL.

14/02/14
"==>"

Your name is KIFO NYX. As was previously mentioned, you are in a VERY BAD MOOD, and why shouldn't you be?

You are one of OSIRIS' INSTINCTS. Specifically, you are his VIOLENCE INSTINCT, so you're pretty much ALWAYS ANGRY, ALL THE TIME.

You have absolutely NO INTERESTS, you imagine that it would be cool to have some, but hatred is basically ALL YOU KNOW.

You're not sure why your STUPID FRIENDS put up with you, but whatever, good for them you guess.

Had you a cellhandle it would be hollowAsylum and you would SPEAK VERY BITTERLY!

What will you do?

14/02/14
"Enter Name"

14/02/14
"==>"

A young instinct pouts in her subliminub.

It just sO HAPÌ´PÍEÌnsÍ«ÍÌͮͦÍÌÍÌ­ Ì̵̤ͧÍÌ°Ì«ÍtÍͨÍÌÌÌ̢̤̹ͥhÍÍÍÌ«Ì̺ÌÍAÍ«ÍÍÍ̥ͣÍÌt̾ͨÌ̽ÌÍ¥ÌÌ̶Ị̺̀ ͯÌͪ̾ÌͬÌÌÌÌÌÌ Ì̯̻sÌÌÍÍÌ«Ì®ÍÍÌÍ̺hÍ̶ͧͦͨÌÌ©eÌ̢̥ÍÌ¹Ì¦Í IÌÍÍ®ÍÌÍ̯ÌS̳̬̪ ÌÌÍÌͨͫÍÌÌiÌÍÍÌ¥ÍÍnÍ¥ÌÌ̯Ì̦ ÍÍÍÍͦͮÍ̯̲̬ÍÍÍ̯AÌ¡ÍÌ©Ì³Ì£Í Ì¾Í­ÍÌÌÍvÌÍ̯ÌÌ EͧͭÌÍÌ̲Í̱Ì̤RÌÌ¿ÍÌ»Í̥̺̥̣yÌÍÌ̤̻Í̼Ì̯̪ ͨ͠ÍÌ«Ì©ÌÍÍBÌͪͥÌͬÍÍÍ ÍÌ¡Ì̹̭ÌÌ­ÍÍÌ̪̯Í̥̳AÌÌͪÌÒ͢͠ÍÍÍÍÌ ÍÌÌÌ°Ì̤ÌÌDͧͥÌÌÍ¥ÌÌÌÌͯͥÍÌÍ­ÍÍÍ¡Í̧Í̧ÍÍ̭̼̥Í̫̦Í̳̪̱ÌÌ°ÍÍ̹̰ ͬÌÌ̸ͤÌ̶͢ÌÌÌ»ÍÍÌ»ÍÌ̺ÍÍÍMÍÍͪÌÍ̿ͨͤÌÍ«ÌÌÌÍÍͭͪÍÌ̡̡̦Í̤Ì̹ÌÌ«ÍÌ¥ÍÌ Í̦ÌÌoÍÍ®ÍÍ­ÌÍÍÍ¢ÌÍ̱̩̲ÍÌÌ̻̰̩OÍÌÍÌ̧ͪ͢ÌÍÌ£ÍÍÍ̹ÍÌ̤̳ÍÍÌ£ÌDÌÍ¥ÌÍÍÍÍ­ÌÌÍ«ÌÍÌÍͬÍÌ¡ÌÍÍÍ̪Í̯ÌÌ Ì°.

What will the name of this angry instinct be?

11/02/14
"==>"

A marvelous sight, beheld.

An artist, inspired.

11/02/14
"==>"

It appears OSIRIS is turning on his COMPUTER.

11/02/14
"Andy: gaze into the outside world"

08/02/14
"==>"

Your name is ANDY VISTA, and as was previously mentioned, you are a gander bulb cell, and you are a VERY LUCKY gander bulb cell, for several reasons.

You have the most unusual privilege of being able to see what OSIRIS sees, and you do so enjoy viewing the many mysteries of the OUTSIDE WORLD.

You are an ARTIST by profession, and craft an array of LOVELY WORKS. Much of your inspiration comes from the OUTSIDE WORLD.

You have a pretty awesome GIRLFRIEND, who totally digs you.

Despite your luck, you try to stay HUMBLE and APPRECIATE THE SIMPLER THINGS IN LIFE.

Your cellhandle is dalisKaleidoscope and You speak with a very colorful vocabulary.

What will you do?

08/02/14
"Enter Name"

08/02/14
"BEGIN ACT 2"

A young gander bulb cell stands in his socket. Although he will be tremendously busy in a few short hours, he is doing nothing of importance at the moment.

What will the name of this young cell be?

31/01/14
"END OF ACT 1"

31/01/14
"==>"

Looks like there's only one way out of this...

31/01/14
"==>"

31/01/14
"==>"

31/01/14
"!?!?!?"

UM...

You wonder what the hell these things are.

They look rather threatening.

31/01/14
"Sherlock: tell your server player abo-!!!"

Okay, you DEFINITELY heard something that time.

31/01/14
"==>"

Um...

31/01/14
"Sherlock: contact your new companion"

-- puzzledPopo [PP] began pestering dalisKaleidoscope [DK] --

PP: hi there
DK: Why hello there, my client o).
PP: Oh yeah I guess I am
PP: what dOes that make yOu exactly?
DK: I think it makes me your server.
DK: When you chose to be my client, the game said: "Accept puzzledPopo as your client? (You will be his/her server.)"
PP: Oh sO thOse OptiOns cOrrespOnd with One anOther
PP: gOOd tO knOw
DK: Yeah, but anyways, I'm just so psyched to see another user on here oD.
PP: Od?
DK: It's my excited emoticon, among others oD o).
PP: Oh alright
PP: hey dude have yOu figured Out hOw tO play this game?
PP: sO far all Ive seen is this screen
DK: I'm afraid I'm just as clueless as you o(.
PP: thats alright
PP: wOah! hOld On sOmething weird is happening
DK: ???

31/01/14
"???"

You thought you heard something behind you, but it was probably nothing.

31/01/14
"Sherlock: pick client"

You pick client, because... why not?

The other player accepts you as his client.

Cool, you guess.

31/01/14
"Sherlock: select dalisKaleidoscope"

you tap the only other user online at the moment. You don't know this user, but you figure that you might as well talk to them, they might have some helpful advice for a beginner such as yourself.

Apparently, you can not talk to them just yet. You must first choose 1 of 2 options: server, or client?

You have no idea what they mean.

31/01/14
"==>"

After rocking out to that song for a few minutes, you finally tap the screen and start the game.

And wow! Just look at... Okay what is this?

You knew the game came with the newest version of pestercell, but oddly enough, it appears to have already added your username.

30/01/14
"Sherlock: install SBIO"

The game starts up, to the sound of some very epic music.

30/01/14
"==>"

After stretching your cell phone to the appropriate size, you prepare to install the game.

30/01/14
"==>"

You find a nice, low-traffic vessel to set up in.

30/01/14
"==>"

You feel much better-enlightened, in fact-after talking to Romeo.

You can't wait to play SBIO!*

*(Except you can, because there are things in life more important than games. But you will play it for the time being, all the same.)

30/01/14
"==>"



Zipo: so you really think that this game will let me talk to your friends???
Albert: Ye?. You ?ee, thi? game come? with the newe?t ver?ion of pe?tercell.
Zipo: but nothing ever works on my non existent cell phone...
Zipo: I wish I was privileged with the notion of existence and everything it has to offer...
Albert: Zipo, you are. what you lack i? not exi?tence, it i? merely the ability to manife?t your?elf a? a phy?ical being.
Albert: And who know?? You might be able to do that ?omeday.
Albert: You are a curiou? being, however, you are ?till ju?t that: a being.
Albert: Don't you ever think that you are any le?? exi?tent than any of u?.
Zipo: ...okay...
Zipo: Ill try ^ ^...
Albert: Glad to hear it. 8)
Albert: Anyway?, like I wa? ?aying, thi? game include? the late?t ver?ion of pe?tercell.
Albert: And ye?, your non exi-er I mean your cell phone which at the moment can not manife?t it?elf phy?ically-i? unable to run any earthly program?.
Albert: However, thi? game claim? to be compatible with any kind of ?y?tem.
Albert: And in parenthe?e?, it ?tate?: (we do mean any).

28/01/14
"==>"



Sherlock: its a cOpy Of sbiO
Sherlock: a videO game thats suppOsed tO be awesOme
Romeo: sounds FUN,
Sherlock: yeah siri managed tO get a bunch Of cOpies
Sherlock: sO Ive been delivering them tO everyOne sO we can all play it tOgether
Sherlock: even she wants tO play it
Sherlock: which I thOught was weird cOnsidering shes an estrOgen mOlecule
Romeo: siri DOESNT, fool ME, at ALL,
Romeo: she MAY, act GIRLY, but I, can TELL, she HAS, little INTEREST, when IT, comes TO, that SORT, of THING,
Sherlock: wOw yOu think sO?
Romeo: i DO,
Sherlock: I never thOught abOut that...
Sherlock: I mean an estrOgen mOlecule whOse nOt cOmpletely feminine in every way? it is simply unheard Of
Romeo: maybe SO, but SHE, is NOT, like THAT,
Romeo: anyways I, will PLAY, this GAME, as SOON, as POSSIBLE, until THEN, have FUN, playing IT,
Sherlock: Okay but I wOnt play fOr tOO lOng
Sherlock: like I said
Sherlock: Im gOing tO change

28/01/14
"==>"



Romeo: sherlock ITS, nice TO, see YOU,
Sherlock: hi rOmeO its nice tO see yOu tOO
Sherlock: hOw are yOu?
Romeo: i HAVE, been GOOD, and WHAT, about YOU,
Sherlock: nOt tOO well actually
Sherlock: I just had a sOmewhat depressing and prOfOund cOnversatiOn with amani
Sherlock: and nOw Im kind Of thinking that my life thus far has been a waste :(
Romeo: i AM, sorry TOO, hear THAT,
Romeo: but LOOK, on THE, bright SIDE,
Sherlock: ?
Romeo: you ONLY, began LIFE, just THIRTEEN, days AGO,
Romeo: so YOU, have PLENTY, of TIME, to CHANGE, your WAYS,
Romeo: i ALWAYS, assumed YOU, would EVENTUALLY, have SUCH, a REALIZATION,
Romeo: and ALSO, dont WORRY, about AMANI, she WONT, stay MAD, at YOU,
Sherlock: hOw did yOu knOw amani was mad at me?
Romeo: because ONLY, she COULD, upset YOU, so MUCH,
Romeo: but DEEP, down SHE, is JUST, really WORRIED, about YOU,
Sherlock: ...yeah I guess sO :)
Sherlock: and yOu knOw what?
Sherlock: I think Im gOnna try and change myself fOr the better
Romeo: glad TO, hear IT,
Romeo: hey WHATS, that IN, your HAND,

27/01/14
"Romeo: quick! grab your friend!"

25/01/14
"==>"

Your name is ROMEO PULSATIO. You don't have much time for our nonsense, as you have a very BUSY AND VITAL JOB, with VERY LONG SHIFTS.

You are a HUGE ROMANTIC, whenever you are blessed with free time, you have Albert relay text from ROMANTIC NOVELS that SANDY has read. You feel honored to work in the organ so closely related to infatuation, but you often find yourself ALONE and LONGING FOR A PARTNER.

You have a knack for READING PEOPLE, and can oftentimes predict their FUTURE ACTIONS.

You also like to WORK OUT, which is convenient, considering that it's your entire career.

Your cellhandle is yearningApothecary and you SPEAK, in A, sort OF, rhythmic WAY,

You are currently waiting for your BEST FRIEND.

What will you do?

25/01/14
"Enter Name"

25/01/14
"Deep in the center of the body..."

A young heart cell pumps blood through his chamber.

24/01/14
"==>"

She always knows just what to say.

21/01/14
"Amani: receive text"

-- adamantDaisy [AD] began pestering reconciledDoom [RD] --

AD: Hey Amani, are you busy right now? ;(
RD: well I was about to try out this video game shrelock gave me
RD: but I can talk for a while
RD: is something the matter
AD: Speak of the plague... Er, no offense.
RD: hehe :Dont worry sweetie none taken
RD: anyways are you implying that sherlock :Di:D something stupi:D
AD: Yes, but I can't tell you... I'm just not prepared.
RD: thats fine all that matters is that sherlock :Di:D something stupi:D insensitive or both
RD: an:D it has left you in a state of hurt
AD: Yep ;(
RD: sweetie you shoul:Dn't take sherlock to seriously
RD: hes kin:D of a shallow i:Diot but he means well
RD: I myself just ha:D an unpleasant encounter with him an:D I gave him a lecture that I :Don't think hell soon forget
AD: Hehe, I wish I could have been there to see that. ;)
RD: yeah it was something alright
RD: but anyways sweetie try not to think too much of whatever he :Di:D an:D trust me youll feel better
AD: Yeah okay. Thanks for listening Amani, you're a true friend. ;)
RD: <3


-- adamantDaisy [AD] ceased pestering reconciledDoom [RD] --

21/01/14
"Siri: contact Amani"

You have finally finished your duties for the day, and you still feel pretty broken up about Sherlock's remark, so you decide to text Amani. She always manages to cheer you up.

09/01/14
"==>"

The vessels are alive with rhythm. Blood busily zooms through the plasma containing it so, as if swimming through a gentle stream, or say, a triple bypass. An unfamiliar note is produced. It's the one melancholy plays to keep its syringe in full supply.

Today is the thirteenth day you have been alive, but unlike all twelve preceding it, something of greater purpose feels missing from your life. The game you presently carry is only the latest pleasantry of an unseen jester, one to engender a sense not of joy, but of diversion. His coarse schemes are those less of a clown than a common deadbeat. His ruse is futility itself. It is a mystery dispersing altogether, like the faint reflection of the esophagus in the stomach's acid, with even one morsel of inquiry dropped in its transparent well. It is the most diabolical ruse of all.

"Somewhere there's a score being kept, so you have an obligation to live life as well as you can, be as engaged as you can." -Bill Murray

Albert has assured you that the name of the man who said that is Bill Murray.

You have a feeling it's going to be a longer day.

09/01/14
"Sherlock: Exit mouth"

You've never felt more conflicted before.

there's only one more person to deliver the game to, and he is your BEST FRIEND.

Hopefully he can cheer you up a little.

09/01/14
"==>"


Amani: thats all you came for?
Sherlock: well yeah
Sherlock: I thOught yOud be mOre excited
Sherlock: its suppOsed tO be the hOttest game since triple bypass
Amani: thats not the point sherlock
Amani: you came here to see me but youre too afrai:D to come within ten millimeters of me
Amani: furthermore you say that you want to be a cop but never actually :Do anything to make that :Dream a reality
Amani: you just play games
Amani: nothing more
Sherlock: I...
Amani: Ill play the stupi:D game with you an:D everyone else
Amani: but only for a little while
Amani: because unlike you I :Dont inten:D to waste my life
Amani: goo:Dbye

09/01/14
"==>"

09/01/14
"==>"

08/01/14
"==>"

08/01/14
"==>"

Sherlock: hi amani!
Amani: sherlock just come over here!
Sherlock: I wOuld but yOure a virus and I still dOnt entirely trust yOu!
Sherlock: besides if a white blOOd cell saw me near yOu it cOuld ruin my reputatiOn!
Sherlock: theyd never let me be a cOp!
Amani: :Damn it sherlock for the last time Im not going to infect san:Dy again!!!
Sherlock: I wish I cOuld believe yOu but I cant!
Amani: D:<
Sherlock: at any rate I came tO give yOu a cOpy Of this awesOme game!
Sherlock: me and everyOne else are gOnna play it!

08/01/14
"==>"

08/01/14
"==>"

Sherlock: amani!

08/01/14
"==>"

07/01/14
"Back in the mouth..."

Amani is left flattered by Albert's clever words.

07/01/14
"==>"


Albert: I've mi??ed you too, how are you?
Zipo: alright I guess...
Zipo: depressed as usual...
Albert: I wa? afraid of that. Zipo, you really mu?t try to feel better.
Albert: ?omeday you might experience the notion of exi?tence and everything it ha? to offer, there i? hope.
Zipo: maybe but I don't see it happening...
Albert: Well even if you don't, I certainly do.
Zipo: ???
Albert: You might not entirely exi?t, technically ?peaking
Albert: But the fact that I can talk to you mean? that you could po??ibly be real ?omeday.
Zipo: ...
Albert: Be?ide?, I think I may have found a way to introduce you to the re?t of my friend?.
Zipo: !!!

07/01/14
"==>"


Albert: Hi Zipo
Zipo: oh albert Ive missed you so much...

07/01/14
"==>"

07/01/14
"Zipo: contact Albert"

Looks like your MYSTERIOUS FRIEND is here.

06/01/14
"==>"

You haven't known her for too long, but Amani is a great friend.

You wish there was a way for her to live.

06/01/14
"==>"

-- reconciledDoom [RD] began pestering relativePhoton [RP] --

RD: hey albert how are you :Doing this fine :Day
RP: Hello Amani, I'm doing lovely, but I can't talk for too long.
RD: Oh whys that
RP: I'm about to ?ee a friend, one that I have not ?een for a while.
RD: Oh well :Dont worry I won't keep you for too long
RD: I shoul:D just come see you in person sometime after all Im gonna :Die soon and I:D like to see all of my frien:Ds off
RP: It ?till amazes me how you aren't bothered by death at all.
RD: well I guess it is kin:D of a bummer but san:Dy is bigger than all of us
RD: Im willing to sacrifice my life for hers
RP: That'? very noble of you.
RD: but before I :Die I have one last thing on my bucket list
RP: What'? that?
RD: I want to be hel:D in the arms of a smart charming han:Dsome cell ;D
RP: Oh Amani, you're ?o flattering. I know that you've abandoned your mi??ion to infect, but there'? one thing that you'll alway? ?pread.
RD: whats that
RP: Love. ;?
RD: ehehehe Ill see you soon


-- reconciledDoom [RD] ceased pestering relativePhoton [RP] --

06/01/14
"==>"

Your name is AMANI INFLUENZA. As was previously mentioned, you are a VIRUS. In other words an enemy of SANDY'S BODY. You have a strong distaste for this label, as you DON'T ACTUALLY DO ANY HARM any more.

When you first came to this body, you were like any other virus, intent on using it as a vessel to sustain your life. But once you realized how much pain you caused, you decided to turn your life around completely.

You aspire to live life PEACEFULLY and TO THE FULLEST. This can be difficult, since spreading is the ONLY WAY you can survive. Indeed, your number is almost up, but you try very hard to make every day a good one.

You have a thing for REALLY SMART GUYS, and fall for them frequently.

Despite your POSITIVE OUTLOOK, your VIRAL INSTINCTS still lurk within you. They can make you come off as an ASSHOLE sometimes.

Your cellhandle is reconciledDoom and you speak in a :Delightfully cheerful :Dialect

You are currently texting somebody

06/01/14
"Enter Name"

06/01/14
"A few inches below..."

A young virus stands in her mouth, what sort of malicious deeds could she be up to?

05/01/14
"==>"

You chuckle at the thought of the comic, its almost funny enough to put a halt to your depression

...almost.

05/01/14
"==>"

You remember the time when SANDY decided to take a sip of cider from her parents' liquor cabinet. You screamed at the top of your lungs "DON'T DO IT!" but she took a sip all the same, after that you scolded her, and she ashamedly put it back.

Thankfully that alcohol did no harm... Okay it didn't do MUCH harm.

One molecule of alcohol has since taken residence in the brain, he is now famous for SEVERAL STUPID YET ODDLY FUNNY COMICS.

05/01/14
"Zipo: remember the good ol' days"

Unfortunately you have no good ol' days to think back to, but you decide to reminisce all the same.

05/01/14
"Zipo: contact Albert"

You gaze deep into the SUBCONSCIOUS until you find Albert. You can not contact him at the moment, he is busy chatting with one of his MANY FRIENDS. You wish you could meet them, but they exist, and you technically don't, which makes it impossible.

05/01/14
"==>"

Your name is ZIPO ZAGONETKA. It's a very pretty name you think, you wish you were almost half that pretty.

You are SANDY'S CONSCIENCE, and often advise her against doing REALLY STUPID SHIT.

You DO NOT ENTIRELY EXIST, but you would very much like to.

If you did exist, you think you would enjoy PUZZLES, OPTICAL ILLUSIONS, and RIDDLES. really anything that makes you think.

You have a tendency to get REALLY DEPRESSED ALL THE TIME, when you get too depressed, you start to vanish.

If it weren't for your good friend Albert, you would have disappeared altogether.

You don't have a cellhandle, but if you did you imagine it would be translucentRiddler and you would speak in a very brief and shy manner...

What will you do?

04/01/14
"Enter Name"

04/01/14
"Somewhere deep in the brain..."

A young conscience stands upon her subconscious... Or wait, she's starting to disappear. No wait, she's back.

At any rate, she is currently looking forward to seeing her friend very soon.

04/01/14
"==>"

You would say Sherlock was a great friend, but you've only known him for 13 days. He seems like an awesome cell so far though.

You're looking forward to playing SBIO, and you're sure that your MYSTERIOUS FRIEND will too.

You wonder how she is.

Or IF she is for that matter

04/01/14
"==>"

03/01/14
"==>"


Albert: ?herlock, you ju?t ?cared the protein? out of me.
Sherlock: haha sOrry abOut that
Albert: But anyway?, how'? it going?
Sherlock: its gOing awesOme! siri gOt her hands On six cOpies of SBIO!
Sherlock: I came tO deliver twO Of them
Sherlock: One fOr yOu and One fOr yOur mysteriOus friend
Albert: Well thi? certainly i? a plea?ant ?urpri?e, not to mention you've come at a very appropriate time. I'm expecting her ?hortly.
Sherlock: Oh cOOl
Sherlock: speaking Of which will any Of us ever get tO meet her?
Albert: I'd love to introduce her to all of you, but thing? with her are... complicated.
Sherlock: well if yOu say sO
Sherlock: at any rate heres the game

03/01/14
"!!!"

Sherlock: hi albert!

03/01/14
"==>"

03/01/14
"==>"

You really hate that guy, whoever he is.

Looks like SANDY is asleep now.

02/01/14
"Answer it"

-- epizooticTyrant [ET] began pestering relativePhoton [RP] --

ET: HELLO !NFER!OR HUMAN CELL, I AM ABOUT TO PUT TH!S PATHET!C HUMAN TO SLEEP ONCE AGA!N.
RP: Oh god not you again, thi? week alone you've made ?andy pa?? out three time?. How are you even doing it?
ET: THATS FOR ME TO KNOW, AND FOR YOU TO NOT. DEAL W!TH !T.
RP: Plea?e ju?t tell me, who are you? And how are you able to do thi??
ET: HUSH HUSH, !TS SLEEPY T!ME.


-- epizooticTyrant [ET] ceased pestering relativePhoton [RP] --

02/01/14
"???"

Before you have time to do anything, you hear a ringing from your pocket. It is your CELL PHONE.

02/01/14
"==>"

Your name is ALBERT AXON.

It sounds like an exceptionally sophisticated name, you think, and why shouldn't it be? You're an exceptionally sophisticated cell, with many exceptionally sophisticated interests.

You have a passion for the PURSUIT OF KNOWLEDGE and aspire to learn as much as you can. This can be difficult, seeing how you only know as much as SANDY, but you have hope that someday you will be the smartest cell around.

Your cellhandle is relativePhoton and as one might guess, you converse in an Exceptionally ?ophi?ticated idiom.

What will you do?

02/01/14
"Enter Name"

13/11/13
"==>"

A young nerve cell to be precise.

13/11/13
"==>"

13/11/13
"Another cell patiently awaits for the arrival of a friend"

13/11/13
"Elsewhere in the body..."

12/11/13
"==>"

Growin' all these goddamn egg cells. Fuckin' pain in the ass.

12/11/13
"Siri: bitterly return to your duties"

You bitterly return to your duties.

12/11/13
"==>"

YOU LIKE VIDEO GAMES GOD DAMMIT!

12/11/13
"==>"

12/11/13
"==>"

Sherlock: See yOu later

10/11/13
"==>"

Siri: Well er... yeah. I just think it will be fun to play it with all of you. :)
Sherlock: well if yOu say sO :)
Sherlock: anyways Id better gO deliver these tO Our friends

10/11/13
"==>"

Siri: Hehe, don't mention it. ;)
Sherlock: this is sO great nOw the five Of us can play it
Siri: Um Sherlock, there are six of us...
Sherlock: Oh uh
Sherlock: I just didnt expect yOu tO be interested in playing it
Sherlock: videO games arent very feminine after all

10/11/13
"==>"

Sherlock: thank yOu sO much I cant wait tO play it!

09/11/13
"Siri: Hand Sherlock five copies of SBIO"

Sherlock: Oh my gOd yOu didnt!

09/11/13
"==>"

Sherlock: gOd damn it nOt again
Siri: Ehehehe, hi Sherlock ;)
Sherlock: hey siri hOws it gOing?
Siri: Oh, pretty good. Just babysitting all of these egg cells, as usual.
Siri: Oh also, happy 13th day of existence! ;)
Sherlock: um thanks I guess
Sherlock: happy hOwever lOng yOuve existed for
Siri: I'm afraid I've lost track.
Sherlock: yeah alright
Sherlock: um is this really an event tO celebrate cOnsidering it happens every day?
Siri: Well no. Not really, I just needed an excuse to give you this present.

09/11/13
"==>"

08/11/13
"Now!"

08/11/13
"About..."

08/11/13
"Right..."

08/11/13
"==>"

08/11/13
"==>"

He should be arriving shortly.

07/11/13
"==>"

07/11/13
"==>"

07/11/13
"Retrieve SBIO copies and give them to your friend"

07/11/13
"==>"

Your name is SIRI NASCITA. You have a variety of INTERESTS but are much too shy to reveal them to any of your friends, however, you suppose you can make an exception for your audience.

Your job is raising EGG CELLS, you guess its an okay job, yeah, its a learning experi... Who are you kidding? all you ever do is make SANDY's life a living hell once a month. You would rather live an ACTION PACKED LIFE filled with EXPLOSIONS and GUNSHOTS and LESSER THAN MEDIOCRE DIRECTING.

You fancy many MASCULINE ACTIVITIES, but you would never tell your friends, what would they think of you? an estrogen molecule whose NOT completely feminine in every way? It is simply unheard of.

So far you have maintained your girly persona among your friends and everyone else in this body, but you are on the verge of cracking.

Your CELLHANDLE is adamantDaisy and you speak in a Sickeningly sweet manner.

What will you do?

07/11/13
"Enter name"

07/11/13
"Meanwhile..."

A young estrogen molecule stands in her ovary. It just so happens that this young molecule has obtained six copies of the acclaimed SBIO. In a few moments, she will surprise her FRIEND with these copies. But for the time being she is doing nothing of importance.

What will the name of this young molecule be?

07/11/13
"==>"

This is surely an ideal location for considering your next action with absolutely no distractions or oh my god a bunch of cells.

07/11/13
"Hmm..."

You take a few moments to consider your next action.

06/11/13
"==>"

You figure since you've stopped for the time being, you may as well take a breather. This gives us a more advanced method of establishing your interests, rather than just examining your CLOTHES.

As was mentioned a couple of pages ago, today is the thirteenth day that you have existed. You quite enjoy the notion of existence and everything it has to offer.

You have a passion for WHITE BLOOD CELL CRIME DRAMAS, and often resent being born a red one.

Oh how thrilling a life it would be to keep SANDY in check, You would remind those malicious bacteria just who's body there messin' with, maybe rough em' up a little just to scare them. They would shake in fear as you informed them of their coming to the wrong neighborhood pal.

Is it possible to get more hard boiled than that? you doubt it.

Your secondary interest is GAMING. Which reminds you, you still have to get your hands on a copy of SBIO.

You use a chat client known as PESTERCELL, On this client you are known as puzzledPopo and you tend to cOnverse in an exceptiOnally dramatic tOne.

What will you do?

06/11/13
"Quickly grab hold of the intersection and retrieve torso from head"

You do that.

06/11/13
"Retrieve torso from head"

You cannot retrieve your torso, you are moving to fast for such a stunt to be safe. However, you notice a crossroads in the vessel up ahead.

06/11/13
"Enter name"

Your name is SHERLOCK ARTERIA. You are far too preoccupied at the moment to discuss any of your many INTERESTS. Perhaps if we could see your CLOTHES it would better reveal your personality to us without interrupting your daily routine?

06/11/13
"Homesick"

A young red blood cell drifts through his vessels. It just so happens that today, much like every other day, is positively uneventful and mundane. Though it was thirteen days ago this young cell was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!

What will the name of this young cell be?