"Murrit: Answer Laivan."
-- windlessArtificer [WA] began trolling unclaspedKahuna [UK] --
WA: I’m up and about- Figure it’s getting pretty close now-?
WA: I did run into White Noise just before I woke up-
WA: Which we both expected-
WA: He gave me a pretty important piece to all this- nothing I can deal with right this minute- but-
WA: I got it-
WA: I’m guessing we should talk about it later given the time-
UK: >([we s#ould talk about w#o in tf is w#ite noiz]
WA: The Knick Knack Paddywhack Give the Dog a Bone Man-
UK: >([fuckin ye i knew w#o u was talkin bout]
UK: >([just wanted ya to say in a better manner]
UK: >([an you delivered as always]
UK: >([me i did sumt#in just as incredulous as well as incredible]
UK: >([made it deep into t#a #ole]
UK: >([got sum minor injuries #ere t#ere an evryw#ere but it aint not#in i can jus s#ake off]
UK: >([a lil lig#t#ead aint no #eavy deal]
UK: >([#eavy dealz be along t#e line t#at i #ave long since crossed]
UK: >([now im just sittin #ere waitin for t#e payoff to cum]
WA: About how long do we have now-?
UK: >([given #ow consistent it is im gonna say t#at its actually on time wit# a lil less t#an 4 mins]
UK: >([any guess as to w#at exactly is gonna pop out t#is frilly pad #ere]
UK: >([im guessin t#at w#ateva it is t#e first t#ing its gonna do is t#at its gonna knock me flat onto my #ot ass an im just gonna stare back at t#e blinding end an be like]
WA: No idea-
WA: What does this prophecy look like in any sort of physical form-?
WA: I mean we only know that this is where the game happens-
WA: Might just be as easy as some file we need to spread around-
UK: >([personally im #oldin out on it bein a big explosion of some sort but if our luck #as anyt#in to do wit# it]
UK: >([t#en itll just be some filt#y mcrotten ass dude tellin us we just got PUNKD]
UK: >([cue t#e confetti an studio audience bellyac#in t#eir canned laug#ter for effect as i walk down into t#e murky leigon of waterlogged doom to kill myself]
WA: I don't think that'd kill you exactly-
WA: At least not very fast- Especially in your case-
WA: Would mess you up good- though-
UK: >([sounds like t#e perfect way 2 get t#a melanc#oly in ur lifeblood a flowin]
UK: >([guess its good t#at aint w#at im about]
WA: Are you saying you never get sad-?
UK: >([na# son i aint sayin i dont bust it w feelings]
UK: >([im sayin i dont get as bad as t#a rest of you sadsacks t#o]
UK: >([i mean sure]
UK: >([t#is is a sad place in a sad time]
UK: >([wit# sad boiz an sad gurlz and a sad looming environmental #ell creepin up makin t#e struggle extra worse]
UK: >([but like if i dont keep afloat w us #ere]
UK: >([t#en w#o will]
WA: I mean I'm usually pretty alright-
UK: >([but ur not me]
UK: >([gotta keep personality differences stark an erected or else we all just run toget#er]
UK: >([so ill keep bein the rubber an you be glue]
WA: I guess in a roundabout sense- you actually worked that metaphorical insult-
WA: Oh- actually-
WA: Speaking of-
WA: Do you have any idea what’s going on- with Albion right now-?
WA: She sent me a few frantic messages earlier-
WA: I don’t talk to her very often- but she didn’t seem like she was doing so great-
WA: Tried checking on her but now I’m not hearing anything back-
UK: >([i dont got no mcfuckin know or know #ow to sparkle sparkles deal #ere man]
UK: >([only ppl i got a talkin to outside of t#a general memo was you jugglemounds an scar wreck]
UK: >([an bottomtoot# if you wanna even call t#at a convo]
UK: >([w#ic# i tried my damndarndest to try an make not work]
UK: >([im gonna make t#e wild guess t#at s#es fine an even if s#e aint we gotta worry about startup before we can get onto t#e collateral]
UK: >([u ask me im damn sure not#in too awful could even #appen to us rn]
UK: >([by virtue we get to be momentarily invincible as key turners to t#e ignition of boldly going]
UK: >([really im just bunkergrated on this w#ole ‘idk wuss #appenin’ p#rase t#at keeps getting slung around like c#eapo smatter in our fodder bond]
UK: >([me n u are most important to the set up of outing an even we dont get full detail privilege]
UK: >([like damn i dont got a w#ole scrapbook of t#a pics im s#owin off but im still doin it cuz its gotta be done]
UK: >([just wis# sometimes t#ere was a flow to go along wit#]
WA: That would make all the ambiguity- a bit easier to handle-
WA: But it isn’t our call-
WA: We have to be the flow for them- because really-
WA: I can see why this all sounds a bit overwhelmingly stupid-
WA: Or at least just- overwhelming-
WA: But there’s not much we can do- Or that I can do-
WA: Not until after Arcjec gets in anyways-
WA: Which leaves us with the question of-
WA: Once the whole flower deal is done in a minute- what do you think we’re gunna be doing-?
WA: I don’t think we get to do anything after the blooming really-
WA: We just- sit back and twiddle our stick phalanges-
UK: >([well i know t#at wrestlette is gonna be steamin up a message as soon as t#is is said an done]
UK: >([told #er t#a big news in t#a type an s#e just wasnt #avin it so guess s#es just gonna #ave to learn t#e #ard way about #ow t#is all goes down]
UK: >([us too]
UK: >([finally sum learnin of crafts instead a pissin tears on it]
UK: >([so w#ile s#es flippin out]
UK: >([an soda jerk is pullin out]
UK: >([#ows bout me n u get back on wit# some ad#erence ta furry politics]
UK: >([i t#ink i is to be owin you one]
WA: For sure-
WA: Because- you do owe me one-
UK: >([#op on an ill be meetin you t#ere s#ortly after i dump t#e searin yell letters from my flappers]
UK: >([w us bein so fuckin important i t#ink we s#ould get a c#ance to play us t#e real games #ere]
UK: >([now im settlin in for fake]
UK: >([its #ere]
The DONCAMATICOMP is transported to you upon choosing its card.
Lets see if you can remember how to properly manage talking to another troll on this thing.
"Murrit: Examine used card. "
The item that you are monitoring is your only available backup computer: your DONCAMATICOMP. Currently, it is lying atop a pile of various body pillows that represent your friends. These are in a nearby SECRET HIDEAWAY BLOCK that would require a lot of effort and poise to reach without serious injury. You have a feeling that that's where the pingster is.
You stole it sweeps ago from some goon hiding away in a rinkadink submarine after a game of DUNG. You had every intent on giving it back after you changed your ways, but then you remembered that you murdered the poor guy.
Or really, your partner in crime murdered him in your stead.
"Murrit: Open Surveillance Modus."
You open your SURVEILLANCE MODUS. It begins displaying itself as a set of captcha cards oriented in a way that is not unlike the arrangement of your TVs
If a card is "empty" it displays STATIC. Whenever you captchalogue an item, one of these cards acts as a screen through which you can view the item in real time. This item is not moved into your inventory, but instead remains exactly where you left it. When you wish to retrieve the item, it is transported from its monitored location to your location instantly.
You are able to freely retrieve and monitor whatever you like, but if the item is moved from its surveilled location, the signal is lost, and you can no longer retrieve the item unless you captchalogue it again.
You don't really mind too much, as you are currently monitoring only one item. The cons of dealing with your shitty modus and the consequences it brings far outweigh the pros of using it for anything other than special circumstances.
"Murrit: Recieve message. "
You're pretty sure BLUE DOG finally got his ass up, unlike one of your other friends.
You can't really tell if it's actually him, you're basing this off the random ping you heard from somewhere in the temple. You have too many COMPUTERS, TELEVISIONS, SMART TELEVISIONS and TELEVISION COMPUTERS to know where it came from exactly.
You would answer him immediately, but you neglected to bring one of those many devices with you.
There is a solution to this, though.
"Murrit: Hit pod."
Nah, you don't actually want to destroy this thing. Besides, there have been lots of people who have tried to break it open, including you. If it was possible, one of them would have figured it out a long time ago. You just wanted make a point that you're tired of waiting and did something silly to waste time.
Besides, you left your GOLDEN SPIKED KNUCKLES back in your main block. You aren't just going to punch through rock with your bare fists like an idiot, even if you do enjoy acting like one.
"Murrit: Kick pod."
It’s been here since the beginning of time, so the legends say. Everything here was built around this singular carnation.
It was only meant to have two releases, and on these walls there are various interpretations as to how it works, but the message remains the same. One release settles THE ESSENCE OF LIFE INTO THE WORLD, planting the SEEDS OF FERTILITY AND CONSCIOUSNESS into the earth that you now stand on. The other is to END everything the first release stood for.
And now you’re here to watch it all go down. But you have a few minutes until then.
"Murrit: Examine next wall."
These symbols are far from your species' general understanding, not only because they create a language barrier the likes of which you had never encountered, but also because they are read from RIGHT TO LEFT.
You came to find out that these symbols translate to, 'EXIST', 'STATIC', 'CYCLE', 'ENTROPY', and 'REBIRTH' respectively. Each symbol has a set of NUMBERS underneath.
The top symbol works different from the others. You realized every GREEN SYMBOL scattered across the temple can be forged from this particular mold. However, this set here is representative of something important in relation to ALL OTHER SYMBOL SETS. This set represents the METEORS and their PURPOSE in the end of your planet. Though you know that much, you don’t necessarily know if these symbols are simply PROPHECY or hold a slightly more effective level of importance in their setup. Even when you’re supposed to know everything, you still can’t just know everything.
But what you do know thus far after figuring out the meaning of each of these ancient texts and codes, is that the majority of these marks were used in a worshiping process relating to TWELVE SHARED ASPECTS THAT MAKE UP EXISTENCE and a specific RELEASE PROCESS centering around them.
Which leads you to...
"Murrit: Examine wall. "
This wall was never desecrated, still standing after all the history centered around it. It was a rather fortunate outcome that the TROLLS WHO CONSTRUCTED THIS TEMPLE (and now part time hentai dungeon) AS A PLACE OF WORSHIP were nice enough to leave this section intact. Unlike much of the rest of the temple, which you had to recover and reconstruct bit by bit. So you took note of this particular side first thing, and after that was completed, THEN you trashed it.
Responsibility is a powerful thing in your hands.
You also take note of your important pair of EMERGENCY SHADES, which are down here just in case you happened to be rushing haphazardly into an abandoned cathedral under the orders of some OLD WORDS ON A WALL and a SKELETON to await the release of a dubiously explained cataclysmic phenomenon. A time just like now, in fact.
You put the shades on and snicker a little about how dumb this all sounds on paper, or in this case, walls.
It's a good thing you made it out of there with no real relative injuries, or at least not any ones that are worse than what happens when you and Scabbard are stuck in a block together for too long.
After reminding yourself of what's important, you have once again successfully managed to evade death and make it to your HENTAI DUNGEON.
This is where it happens.
GD: WH/\T /\RE YOU /T/\LKING/ /\BOUT???///
GD: Come on!///
GD: Fuck /\ll of this /\nd fuck my life///
GD: I don’t know who that is///
GD: /\nd wh/\t does /\ny of th/\t h/\\/e to do with my current situ/\tion///
GD: E\/en if I /\m “speci/\l”, wh/\tever th/\t me/\ns, how does th/\t help me not die \/i/\ incon\/enient meteor shower, or e\/en more incon\/enient /\ngry lusus///
GD: Honestly it sounds like you’re just feeding me me/\ningless pl/\titudes to distr/\ct me from my imminent doom///
GD: I don’t c/\re if I’m import/\nt///
GD: I just w/\nt to sur\/i\/e///
DQ: the path to salvation will reveal itself to you, when it must.
DQ: my role is not to shepherd you along it, but to provide counsel in seeking it yourself.
DQ: this includes soothing your fears so you might embrace full clarity of mind and body. i have learned the only effective way of accomplishing that, is by allowing you the information you need to understand the true reality of your circumstance, as well as your being.
DQ: because without my guidance, you will remain ignorant.
DQ: this is something i wish to offer, but wishes don’t solve problems.
DQ: and wanting them only makes the dilemma more prevalent.
DQ: this is something they do not understand.
GD: /\ctu/\lly, I think I underst/\nd my circumst/\nce pretty well, without your “guidance”///
GD: Unlike wh/\t you belie\/e of me right now///
GD: I /\m between /\ rock /\nd /\ h/\rd pl/\ce, /\nd /\ll you seem to w/\nt to do is w/\ste wh/\t little time I h/\\/e m/\king /\bsolutely no sense /\t /\ll///
GD: /\s this d/\y h/\s been bred to do///
GD: You know I’m not sure I like this///
GD: Wh/\te\/er /\ll is going on here with you right now///
GD: /\nd I don’t like this new quirkless tone either///
GD: I mean I guess I should m/\bye try to underst/\nd, while I still c/\n///
GD: I don’t h/\\/e /\ny better /\nswers /\\//\il/\ble to me///
GD: But if you /\ren’t going to help me figure out how to de/\l with the meteors or wh/\te\/er, would you /\t le/\st expl/\in who this guy or guys I’m supposed to be w/\tching out for is///
GD: If I c/\n /\\/oid h/\\/ing to de/\l with /\nother \/apid ch/\tterbox, th/\t would be gre/\t///
DQ: he is one who oversees life in the place of actuality.
DQ: one who speaks in broken tones.
DQ: who is preparing the use of our worth in a game where none of us have any choice in our inclusion.
DQ: even those in the background being affected and paving the way to the place where you are bound to go.
DQ: you will know his mark personally when finding blackened text and scattered sound.
DQ: and you will know of the limeblooded vessel to his heart.
DQ: stop her.
DQ: save yourself.
GD: Th/\t’s it///
GD: Not e\/en /\ n/\me or /\nything///
GD: /\nd wh/\t’s this /\bout /\ limeblood///
GD: /\re you t/\lking /\bout EO?///
GD: Did she do something?///
GD: Is she the c/\use of this?///
GD: /\re you there??///
GD: Who do you me/\n?///
GD: Wh/\t the hell is going on??///
GD: How /\m I supposed to s/\\/e /\nyone if don’t know wh/\t I’m s/\\/ung them from besides /\ rock th/\t i c/\nt slow down///
GD: Or if I c/\n’t e\/en s/\\/e myself///
DQ: i have finished entrusting you with my thoughts and feelings.
DQ: spread them, spark the crusade you were meant to in another life.
DQ: you will know the reasons why soon enough.
DQ: it has already been ensured by this conversation alone.
DQ: you won’t be this way long, just as i won’t.
DQ: this only needed to be long enough to preserve a small hope in my spawn.
-- demiurgeQuantified [DQ] began trolling gigantisDebilitation [GD] --
DQ: has it begun.
GD: Which “it” /\re you t/\lking /\bout///
GD: There /\re /\ lot of “its” going on for me right now so you’re going to h/\\/e to be /\ little more specific///
DQ: the meteors.
DQ: do they now skate across the densely packed evening sky chasms, painting over its canvas with their eagerly weaving flares?
GD: Ye/\h I s/\w th/\t///
GD: Wouldn’t describe it /\s /\nything so highf/\luting myself, though///
GD: It’s just /\nother /\ddition to the e\/er-growing pile of shit I h/\\/e to de/\l with///
GD: /\t the top of the pile is trying to /\\/oid /\ second skirmish with my lusus tod/\y///
GD: I’\/e tucked /\w/\y ne/\r the w/\terf/\ll to throw off his trail///
GD: There’s no winning here, the most i c/\n do is hold him off or this///
GD: Hoping he w/\nders f/\r enough /\w/\y for me to just sne/\k p/\st him, but /\t this point th/\t’s not looking \/ery likely either///
GD: Not with motormouth w/\tching my e\/ery mo\/e /\nd trying to tell me his most potent f/\cts th/\t gives my cr/\ni/\l m/\tter l/\ct/\te rot///
GD: Luckily I got him under my control using /\ cl/\ssic shut up technique///
GD: But I guess this meteor g/\rb/\ge me/\ns I don’t re/\lly h/\\/e too long to w/\it /\round///
GD: I’m prob/\bly de/\d here either w/\y///
GD: Considering /\rm/\geddon is /\pp/\rently b/\rreling down on us from the sky///
DQ: death is inevitable.
DQ: there is no certainty other than that it will one day happen to us all.
DQ: however, unlike most others, our concerns need not lie in the immediate future.
DQ: we have been chosen.
DQ: we perpetuate the meaning of life itself and as such, are special.
DQ: more so than anyone else on this planet, in any place, or at any time.
DQ: our lives are what matter, conceited as that sounds.
DQ: that is why these events have been set into motion.
DQ: it is all for a singular, unified purpose, down to even the most minute of details.
DQ: details which i am about to entrust with you, and only you.
DQ: do not follow credence of the man who spins words like yarn, mersiv.
GUARDIANSPIRIT: ******and to let her take control through your hidden passions*****-
GUARDIANSPIRIT: ******what we had said in our semi-final meeting was what you call a truth*****-
GUARDIANSPIRIT: ******we told you that your purpose was to leave this doomed planet, rather than save it*****-
GUARDIANSPIRIT: ******we told you that it was due to a divine intervention, and there is one*****-
GUARDIANSPIRIT: ******one which we have been preparing for since we became ingraved within your being*****-
GUARDIANSPIRIT: ******you were never the first star child to hold this position*****-
GUARDIANSPIRIT: ******you were only meant to be the last*****-
GUARDIANSPIRIT: ******there was one before you, one who controlled the line in her favor despite being turned away by the one who was to grant her wish*****-
GUARDIANSPIRIT: ******we are bound to her in the same way we are now bound to you*****-
GUARDIANSPIRIT: ******we made a promise that we must keep*****-
GUARDIANSPIRIT: ******we needed to tell you a faux tale of this world so that we could follow through and allow your preservation on the outside*****-
GUARDIANSPIRIT: ******to bring you back here*****-
GUARDIANSPIRIT: ******we have already given you the answer, our child*****-
-- sanguineAllegory [SA] began trolling demiurgeQuantified [DQ] --
SA: (are you there at all?)
SA: (i know tonight is a pretty big deal and you’re probably busy, but i thought i would at least hear something from you?)
SA: (i have not over the entire course of the night so far)
SA: (it really worries me)
SA: (especially considering what you told me about not being yourself anymore after tonight)
SA: (i also received a message from MURRIT about some sort of game)
SA: (he is not very helpful and i do not really know how to speak with him regardless)
SA: (or most of the others)
SA: (but it seems that i have to join)
SA: (i am not going to argue it)
SA: (but if you could please just)
SA: (tell me something before you or i go?)
SA: (it would make me feel much better about all of this)
SA: (i miss you)
"Albion: Recieve message."
No you can't bring her into this, no matter how much she wants to be involved she can't be a part of this.
"Albion: Check ring. "
Your BODY CHEMISTRY is off the charts, and as such you were forcefully evicted from THE CELL as soon as your guardian gave you the news.
At this point you don't know what you're feeling other than the fact that it's tearing you apart on the inside, and you're not sure if you want to know.
You can't rely on help, no matter how much you ask, you know you can't save them like you were supposed to.
Already you regret sending out those messages to Laivan on your TELETABLET. But you don't know what else there is for you to do when you feel as if your entire purpose for living has changed within an instant.
-- demiurgeQuantified [DQ] began trolling windlessArtificer [WA] --
-- demiurgeQuantified [DQ] ceased trolling windlessArtificer [WA] --
You guess you're going to have to start getting into the crevices of your WORK ROOM to find some extra.
You really, really need it.
"Laivan: Examine shelf."
You walk towards your nearby shelf and take a moment to look at the contents because you neglected to do so earlier on in the heat of your game; you came in here initially on a hunt before you decided to lay down. Your work room isn’t very good for napping, not like the dog bed.
On your shelf is: FOUR HUNDRED EIGHTY TWO (482) PIECES OF PRINTER PAPER, ONE (1) PENCIL CASE [WITH APPROXIMATELY FIVE (5) PENCILS AND ONE (1) KNEADED ERASER], ONE (1) EXTRA SEWING KIT, ONE (1) MILITANT HORDE BRAND ARMY KNIFE, ONE (1) LINE OF ROPE [ADORNED WITH UNLOOSENABLE KNOTS] AND ONE (1) EMPTY GLUE BOTTLE.
Damn, you were hoping there would at least be a drop left. The one on the shelf doesn’t have any either, and you can’t use the glue attaching your lusus’ toys together because it’s already dried.
What a letdown that you were actually, kind of absolutely expecting.
"Laivan: Pet lusus. "
You give MUTT a light ruffle of his head fuzz.
He’s incredibly receptive to the gesture. He isn’t very bright, but he has a lot of heart.
A good boy if ever you’ve seen one.
"Laivan: Examine drawing on desk."
It’s a sketch of one of your two ORIGINAL CHARACTERS; this one’s name is FIGMENT.
He’s a nightmarish construct of your other character, ABEL. He’s kind of like an imaginary friend, only he really doesn’t act like much of a friend at all. You got the idea after you arrived on PROSPIT, in a way, the two act somewhat similar to one another.
WA: Though- you're at least curious about it- right-?
WA: Sounds pretty interesting if nothing else-
WA: This is- not your usual type of-
WA: Game receiving methods-
PD: i mean
WA: Are you just saying that to mock me- or do you actually mean it-?
PD: bit of both (|;)
WA: That works-
PD: i seriously dont believe we havent had ANYBODY speak up otherwise saying "no i dont want to do this! that sounds dumb!"
PD: or if that did happen they certainly havent tried very hard to get their point across
PD: as far as i know this is all just kind of happening!!!
PD: man tonight is always the night things decide to happen
PD: im tired of things happening on tonight specifically
PD: we need a new thing happening night
PD: im making the motion for it right now and apparently since everyone just doesnt care, im assuming theyll vote for it!
WA: I’m all for that-
WA: I’d be cool with things happening moving to a different time- at least shake it up a little-
WA: Sadly- I don’t think we can change the universe’s affinity for that pattern-
WA: I go through a constant cycle of like- nothing happening ever- and then suddenly- approximately about 10 things decide to happen tonight for- reasons unknown to us mortals-
WA: Other nights still too sometimes- but mostly this one-
WA: Some good came out of it- though-
PD: are you making reference to what i think youre making a reference too???
PD: there are a lot of things that have occurred tonight so i just want to make completely super duper sure thats the topic we are on here
WA: I totally am-
WA: The good part of it- not the bad part-
PD: oh so the part where you shot me in the leg
PD: permanently leaving me a gimp forever??
WA: Yeah- that's the bad part-
WA: That's the part I didn't want you to talk about-
WA: Stop talking about it-
PD: but its important to our history!!
PD: how many people find their true sense of red romance in only one night?
PD: ive said it before and ill say it again
PD: that bullet was magic!!!
WA: No- the bullet was just a bullet-
WA: Trust me- I checked-
WA: Everything after the bullet was the magic-
PD: we are everything wrong with feelings
PD: did you know that??
WA: I do-
WA: I question myself constantly-
PD: same, me too dude
PD: usually after i do that though
PD: i send you a little heart emote
PD: and i feel better
PD: say you love me and happy anniversary you maggotweasel!!!
PD: i wont be able to leave and be worried about this whole game situation amicably if you dont at the very least do that much for me
PD: weve already started getting cheesy with it so we need to seal the deal
WA: I- Love you-
WA: Happy anniversary-
WA: Glad I’m stuck with you-
PD: the feeling is mutual!!
PD: now im going to go ahead and search for more information regarding what in the hell all of this even IS
PD: then ill probably forget im doing that and just remain optimistically anxious
PD: something tells me following the chief executive of semi-fake chest obsessions is not going to end up being compromised by me (|:p
PD: but promise me something
PD: keep an eye out for alpocalypse news alright?
PD: it isn’t around here but I don’t put anything past his wiles
WA: Really- If he wanted to enlist us in his-
WA: Horrific- Accordion Packing- Polka Party- Murder Circus-
WA: We would already be there-
PD: whatever i just cant believe its still gaining traction
PD: to think i was the biggest fan and follower of a long haired cultist goon who has now since gone on a rampage complete with a militia and other worldly demons just for the sake of his own sadistic amusement
PD: guess something like this really means the world is going to be ending soon huh?
WA: Guess we’ll find out-
PD: guess we will
WA: Don’t smile after something so ominous-
WA: It's scary-
PD: bye laivan <3
"Laivan: Answer special someone. "
-- pliableDecadence [PD] began trolling windlessArtificer [WA] --
PD: hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!! (|:D
WA: That's me-
PD: i know!!! (|:o
PD: but hey listen!
WA: No- YOU listen-
WA: Oh- I didn't actually have anything to say-
WA: I just wanted to keep up with the listen gag-
WA: What did you need to tell me-?
PD: well i got UKs message about this big game thing that we are all supposed to do as a group
PD: i dont really get it? i mean im a big fan of wacky plans and golly does this guy ever know how to get wacky with them
PD: but this one is too complex for me to wrap my simple cranial thinker around
PD: and thats saying something because i can understand him some of the time!
PD: but i know you and him get a little more buddy buddy than me and him
PD: so do you have any information you can bestow upon me thats actually readable? did he give you information too??
WA: Yeah I talked to him a little-
WA: Pretty sure he at least shot a message in everyone’s direction-
WA: But as far as like- an in depth why and what exactly we need to do- I’m not entirely sure still myself-
WA: Just that it’s been something he’s chipped away at-
WA: Which I know you already know-
WA: And it's at least kind of important- I guess-
WA: I dunno-
PD: so youre telling me that we are blindly following the instructions of a greasy fish man without
PD: 1. any plan whatsoever
PD: and 2. complete and total agreement from the riff raff?
WA: I mean-
PD: oooooooh my god
PD: color me about 322 shades of skeptical (|:/
"Laivan: Examine computer."
After a shortly pitiful musing at a loving memory, you open up your SKORPE client. Avoiding the idea of playing another gag-filled round of ANTHROPORMUNCIPALITY as hard as you can, but you can endlessly stick a jump in a barren grey void with furniture. It's hard to dismiss, but KING MURRIT DYNOGADGET is a little busy right now.
Your SKORPE THEME is "BUSTER BLUES" and it is the exact same thing as the "SYSTEMATIC STOCK" theme, only it's blue and makes starting and ending conversation notifications blue.
Quite possibly the best theme that there is, in your humble opinion.
It's now a little more okay to hold onto this, you think you might end up doing what you originally planned and keep it around your neck.
Before you can do so however, you notice you have an unchecked message from a special someone.
Oh, nevermind. It was just on your desk instead.
I put it there for safekeeping, by the way. Just in case something implausibly dumb could happen to it, like your lusus eating it and cracking the shell of the pendant, then leading to the span of your universe being consumed in bellowing green flame.
It might not be professional of me to interject this at all but, I needed to get that joke out of my system somehow.
"Laivan: Retrieve Green Sun."
Oh no, no no no.
It's not on you! You must have not been able to take it back from The Static.
Your name is LAIVAN FERROO.
You were born with a VERY RARE AND SEVERE LUNG CONDITION. While in the artificial development process, your lungs ended up becoming a few sizes TOO SMALL, which makes it very hard for you to speak, run or commit to any sort of physical activity due to the overall LACK OF BREATH you have.
This doesn’t stop you from doing so regardless, however. You spend a majority of your time hunting BIG GAME with your trusty MUTT, and you are quite the SHARPSHOOTER.
Except for when you aren’t. You’ve had a number of HORRIBLE ACCIDENTS when it comes to your RIFLE, one of which actually ended up changing your life for the better somehow.
You have an affinity towards performing TAXIDERMY on the animals you take home, which you then turn into varying STATUES, TROPHIES, KNICK KNACKS and other items which you SELL ONLINE. You aren’t exactly sure why anybody is interested in buying what you create, as it’s really only for fun, but you aren’t going to say no. This isn't even mentioning your awful habit of running out of glue, either.
You’re pretty avidly into KNOT TYING, but are notably PRETTY BAD AT IT and just end up connecting a majority of the tangles you create into a large pile.
You also enjoy playing games with your friends, though you’re more into the old aged games than any of the ones from recent sweeps, most of which quite literally WARP REALITY AS A WHOLE. Though you did rank at the top of the leader boards in a game of this nature with an OLD FRIEND, the aging ANTHROPORMUNCIPALITY is a big guilty pleasure of yours that you continuously enjoy to this day. Despite how the messages that it tries to hammer into your head don’t work when it’s a polygonal mess of multicolored lusii-lookalikes glitching around. That’s why you love it so much.
Your trolltag is windlessArtificer and you Speak in a way that lets you breathe- When needed-
What will you do?
"And it's finally time."
For us to learn The Blue Guy's true identity.
Allow me to put myself back into context.
"In any case."
It's time for us to return to our scheduled viewing.
But I think you always knew that much.
There are twelve main characters acting in a story they don't realize.
Twelve personalities who once again attempt to give their lives and the lives of others meaning.
After that a thought has come to me, a thought pertaining to the number twelve.
There is no denying its importance in our tale thus far, no matter what strain it fits into.
An overly simple goodbye is all I will part you with.
But I will be here, and as always, I will also be with you.
Your concious is being interfered with, or at least that is how the narrative flow wills it to be.
It is sad you can’t stay here as much as I would very much like you to. You know you're a favorite of mine, as are all your friends. But the will of reality and its basis among fiction and non-fiction is a very picky beast, and too many times have I dealt with that problem personally.
We can’t have much more of that.
Many of you are bound to join us on your first go around in this game; but you can’t be one of them this time.
You know, I have a myriad of bone puns and props I planned to exploit later, just because this form truly is the most fun version of me that I have ever gotten into.
If anything, my imminent demise derives the need of its use. For you, I could make an exception of foreshadowed conditions if you stopped making all of those odd sputtering noises.
Hm? Oh, that’s right, you’re supposed to be dying now.
Or actually, no, that last set didn’t line me up correctly for comedy.
There isn’t anything here that calls for laughs at all really, nor anything that allows for comedic explanation.
These are the fallbacks of being the mouth piece inside of a fuzzy void, sadly.
This is going to be what fertilizes the end, as well as the beginning.
Make sure the imperative nature of its purpose isn’t lost on you, literally or metaphorically. But that is for later. Right now, we’re in a safe space in which the gravity of the situation isn’t weighing us down quite yet.
The initial plot dump is out of the way though; how about a joke to lighten the mood from serious consequence and introspection? I know you’re interested in the types of people who can do that.
Oh, I accidentally went towards introspection again.
That is our deal.
BLUE GUY: Yeah- It sure is-
BLUE GUY: But- I don't know what or why it is-
And now I can tell you.
It is the very essence of existence, the force that powers the complex multiverse from its most structured forms to those that are egregiously entropic.
I preside over all of them.
It provides a heat so pure, so powerful, that it fuels the division between the perpetuation of life and the all-encompassing destruction that waits behind it.
It was gifted as my heart and my soul from my creator.
With it, I now protect all that is alive in their place.
But soon, like all before me, I too must face death.
My bones are old, and my heart has grown weak and small from its original form. It must be returned to its birthplace, lest the breath be choked from the very cosmos themselves.
That is your duty.
And the grace you have shown in keeping your word makes me all the more confident in my decisions.
What I am about to ask you to do is not simply a service to me, but to yourself as well, and to those about whom you play this game with.
Understanding this will help you in your personal journey.
You walk an isolated path. Like the story itself that I tell it will splinter, seeming to careen endlessly into the obscure realm that is space, but it is not without purpose.
In fact, it is your purpose incarnate.
Allow me to show you the reason for our meeting...
This is The Green Sun.
So you agreed because you are afraid.
You allow yourself to become crippled by your doubt, so fearful of making the wrong choice that, in many ways, you refuse to act.
Do you feel as if you are doing something wrong? That being in this moment with me is wrong?
BLUE GUY: I guess I’m always kind of afraid of messing something up-
BLUE GUY: I mean- this is a big deal, right-?
BLUE GUY: I don’t even know what any of this means- let alone do I feel confident enough to handle it-
But where is your alternative?
Would you rather return to your old life?
Would you rather live out your days stitching bodies, hoping against hope that the next one you find won’t be someone you care about?
Look at yourself.
In the story I am telling, it is becoming clearer with every word that you care deeply about those who do not care for themselves.
In the world you live in, death is commonplace, and healthy minds are few and far between.
Without this deal, the cycle will be broken by total annihilation.
You are far better equipped for this than you know, maybe even more than I know, if only because you have no other options.
You are, in many ways, at the end of your rope.
In much the same way, I am nearing the end of mine.
There are some cases in this life where it is blissful to be ignorant.
To truly understand would be to torment the mind, leaving initiative to atrophy.
The more you would understand, the more difficult it would become to act.
We cannot risk indecisiveness when so much is at stake.
Just remember what I have told you.
The rest shall become clear when it needs to be so.
BLUE GUY: To be honest- that freaks me out a little- but-
BLUE GUY: I suppose I don’t have much of a choice- at this point-
BLUE GUY: I did promise-
BLUE GUY: It’s fine-
BLUE GUY: I’m used to it-
BLUE GUY: But why now-?
Why now, you ask.
Weren’t you the one who went to sleep for the express purpose of speaking with me?
It’s simple cause and effect. I’m only giving you what you wanted.
And truly, I have done nothing but give you what you want, have I not? I have been your timeless servant, outside of both concept and causality.
But I forget my place.
For you, there has been a great passing of time since we made our deal. I think it has been long enough; long enough that you have grown in both size and profundity.
Before, you were a mere child, meandering through existence lacking foresight. You were immature, full of the ill-conceived.
But as for why now?
Now you are almost ready.
The moment draws near for you to fulfill your end of the bargain.
BLUE GUY: Yeah, I was kind of expecting this-
BLUE GUY: Anticipating it, really-
BLUE GUY: I just hoped you would time the transition better is all-
BLUE GUY: What do you want me to do- exactly-?
Ever the pragmatist, aren’t you? Always straight to the point, no time for any flowery prose.
You intertwine yourself so effortlessly with the others, despite how boisterous or insufferable they may act.
Can’t you do the same for me?
It’s a mutual habit of ours to rush, I think. The roses of life remain undisturbed when we prioritize haste, don’t you agree?
Perhaps we should take a moment to ourselves. We can learn about each other.
Doesn’t that sound nice?
Go ahead, ask me anything.
BLUE GUY: Oh, uh-
BLUE GUY: Alright-
BLUE GUY: So what happened to your skin-?
BLUE GUY: Is it just-
BLUE GUY: Like, lying around somewhere-?
BLUE GUY: And if so-
BLUE GUY: Do you like- need it for anything-?
BLUE GUY: Can I have it-?
Giving you my skin would necessitate having skin in the first place.
BLUE GUY: Man-
BLUE GUY: I just can’t win today-
BLUE GUY: Nobody has anything that I want-
When you ask a question, you must be prepared for the answer.
The truth is of utmost importance.
The truth shapes you. It molds your very essence. It carves your being, like a chisel to fine marble, into what it was always destined to become.
Do you know what you are destined to become?
BLUE GUY: What is that even supposed to mean-?
It means both nothing and everything.
The grasping of metaphors is a sign of higher intelligence, you know. Crypticisms and strange symbols are intrinsic playthings to a trained mind.
They create the questions that grasp and throttle your intuition, that force you to come to terms with the plasticity of your ego.
What I am trying to say is this:
They keep you from being bored.
I don’t want you to be bored.
Just the same, I don’t want our audience to be bored.
And so I tell a story.
A story that encompasses all the necessary engaging elements an audience could hope for.
And all I have to do is say the right things at the right times.
BLUE GUY: Alright-
You ought to pose a better inquiry. Complacency does not suit heroes.
Are you not interested in the game you are about to play? Perhaps that is the subject matter you should be pursuing. It would be the route that would lead to the deepest understanding of your near future.
But we won’t talk about that now. We must follow the outline; each and every conversation has a goal it must meet. To divulge more than is necessary is to crucify the suspense, and with it, the story.
Storytelling is hard work, almost as hard as social bonding. This is why I take us down these winding roads: not because I enjoy taunting you, but because I wish to truly know you. These detours and strange concepts, these bastardized cultural quirks and painfully ironic twists, they all serve to establish my position as a student. A student with you as my subject.
BLUE GUY: Well- now you’re just rambling-
BLUE GUY: I’m just gonna ask another question- if that’s alright-
BLUE GUY: To avoid more of that-
BLUE GUY: What can you tell me about the game-?
Were you not paying attention?
To reveal too much would be to ruin the mystique.
I can tell you one thing, though. Your objective is to win.
You play, and you win.
The game is orchestrated ideally for this purpose.
Unfortunately, this objective is not in the cards for you.
In reference to this notion, especially not for you nor with the Hero of Time.
BLUE GUY: Wait, so we can’t win-?
BLUE GUY: Then- Why did me and Murrit do all of this-?
BLUE GUY: Why should we play your game-?
It isn’t your job to be dramatic, it’s mine.
To fail is not to be faced with inevitable defeat.
You, like all living creatures, will undergo an evolution, though this evolution is not genetic in nature. You will evolve to become a superior version of yourself, so that you can effectively face what is ahead of you.
Haven’t you heard that saying, ‘Try, try, try again?’ It undoubtedly applies here.
We are just taking all the necessary precautions.
BLUE GUY: Alright, fair enough-
BLUE GUY: If I’ll get another chance after I fail- I can handle that-
BLUE GUY: I’m just confused-
BLUE GUY: Why choose a game like this- if we stand such a risk- of repeated failure-?
BLUE GUY: Wouldn’t it be easier to choose something simpler-?
If your goals were all laid out for you in such a gluttonous display, would you really be interested? Knowing you, I would guess not.
Attention spans are not naturally long, and decadence only shortens what is already unsatisfactory. You have managed to survive so long already, but why? Without question? Without debate or protests of indignation or imagination?
You go about your routines, you allow yourself to be subjected to mere circumstance, and you pretend to be satisfied.
How can you do this to yourself? Conscious beings should not suffer with no payoff.
They should not toil under the dogmas of others simply because they are asked to do so.
You must orchestrate your machinations in such a way that you create an offer that cannot be refused.
Something so enticing that it will act as your foundation, your suspension to keep you from falling flat.
These other games you play, they spit in the face of true challenges. They are bread and they are circuses.
Are you not searching for fun? Discovery? Companionship?
Or at the very least, shenanigans?
BLUE GUY: I don’t know what I’m searching for-
BLUE GUY: That’s why I took your offer in the first place-
I’d like to start off by apologizing. It’s terribly rude of me to exacerbate your lung condition just to serve my purposes. I can’t imagine how uncomfortable it must have felt.
But then again, that may be because I don’t have lungs.
At least at first.
"You'll still be The Blue Guy. "
And I'll be White Noise.
"We have a lot to talk about. "
This place might still hold a few surprises, if not in its visuals then in me personally. I've been looking forward to this, really. This being our first meeting since your ill-fated youth.
I had no intention in seeing you later than intended, only in waiting on the right moment.
To nowhere you didn’t know you would be going to, and to someone you haven't been able to forget.
You think you're just going to go ahead and leave now, and forget that just happened.
You really wish that he could have been here with you from the beginning.
Maybe it could have made him a little happier.
"Blue Guy: Deliver once more. "
Cluttering most of the Hero of Breath's dreamblock is the numerous amount of pre-delivered PROSPIT DAILY'S. You highly doubt he's going to read them, but even past the joke value, he might gain some valuble insight were he to take a look at a few of these.
You also noticed prior to this visit that he had slipped out of his RECUPERACOON due to all the squirming about he does in his slumber, and made him a nice little REST MAT out of the old prints to hopefully service him a little better.
Cultural affairs aren't for you though, they never have been. Really it's none of your business what happens to anybody other than yourself.
You prefer to remain as an observer rather than an active participant in the midst of quandaries, whether you're directly involved or otherwise.
And right now, all you want to be involved in is getting yet another paper where it belongs.
This moon and the furthest moon known as DERSE revolve around an unknown essence of unlimited potential known as SKAIA which has been around since conception. The two moons have an excessive amount of lore relating to the entity due to its whispers and sharing of many secrets. Secrets that told the moons of heroes that will come and bless them with their presence, heroes that will give their lives meaning.
The two moons have two very different opinions on this: the former who worships the energy and the blank planets that it has spouted as a creative force for their heroes use, and the latter who despises it out of fear of the heroes using said force as a weapon against their current way of life.
These opinions grew to be very strong amongst the community, as they were the thoughts of the KINGS and QUEENS of each respective society.
Crowds couldn’t be silenced. Mass panic began to ignite the flame of WAR for the partnering lands. A war that none of them were prepared to fight, a war that they could NOT fight.
To cease the mass hysteria, the leaders created a pact. Deciding that the only way the two nations could truly trust each other, was by doing nothing.
Deciding this caused the gift they were given to create something they weren’t expecting, the seemingly dormant crucible reacted to their decision accordingly. Blocking any use of its well of knowledge by creating a nigh-impenetrable forcefield of PURE LIGHT with the power of its initial forms shell. Reverting itself to unknown entity stirring in its pocket.
The two moons now hesitantly work together with the aim of releasing Skaia from the prison they created after this in an attempt to figure out just what happened to what they once knew, now seeing it not as a passive use, but as a living entity angered by their past choices. Little do they know, that Skaia’s plan all along was only to bring them closer together.
And while The Blue Guy here knows these points from a technical aspect, I’m the one who has the little details.
I’m the only one who would know.
I created all of this.
"Blue Guy: Ponder worries. "
"Blue Guy: Look at papers. "
You have just about finished your nightly mailing run on the golden moon of PROSPIT. You have one more stop to make but it occurs to you that this time you haven’t gotten a chance to really look at today’s paper. This place is practically a second home that you have known since you were young, so the least you can do is know what’s going on here to some extent.
Though you share this moon with five others of your group, a group in which this moon celebrates as HEROES.
And those five others will be waking up soon.
Other than yet another guesstimate on their awakening, you notice a very handsome picture of yourself and the nice paper printer who spends most of his time thanking you.
And a headline that begins to worry you a little.
"Once again, be the Blue Guy."
And now we are meeting the final member of our initial half group at last.
As we’ve seen, he is one of the two aforementioned BLUE GUYS. While he does have a name, all others feel as confident as he does that THE BLUE GUY works just as well.
We aren’t yet in a position to reveal his true name, but we will be very soon.
We just need to wait patiently for when the chance arrives.
You think you’ve had enough of the natural order now, you did as you were intended, and now it’s time for us to move on to our last true introductory moment for this section.
GS: You never properly answered my original one, but I’ll take a positive response on it regardless, since I was only seeking verification.
GS: My more important piece would be regarding any potential preservation of belongings.
GS: I understand that most things will be lost, but is there any method besides the obvious to your knowledge of sparing a portion?
UK: >([if ya already kno t#en y t#a fuk u askin]
UK: >([said it urself]
UK: >([most of it is gonna be vaporized an i said t#at was t#e point t#e glyp#ics made crystal clear]
UK: >([we aint gonna exist #ere anymore after t#ese giant ass rocks crater our lives into t#e ground]
UK: >([no more livin spaces]
UK: >([no more cus#y ego strokin putt courses]
UK: >([no more divine wines]
UK: >([an DEFINITELY no more of yo #oity toity pleasure sword packin gender politic groups rabblerousin on t#a streets bout #ow t#ey live on a #ig#er plane cuz t#ey aint got no plus# c#est tanks]
UK: >([its just gonna be us an w#erever it is we go from #ere into t#e void of new beginnings]
UK: >([so u best be gettin ready to readjust ur life plan]
UK: >([t#ink its #ig# tide time u got to be doin t#at]
GS: Well then, I definitely have plenty of my own concerns on the matter, not just about the aforementioned.
GS: Ignoring some of what you said...
GS: I was more worried about the possessions I felt that I might actually need in a situation like this.
GS: I’m simply trying to be prepared, though I can see you’re not going to be of any real assistance either way.
GS: Not entirely sure why I bothered either, since I should have known better about the outcome of a response from you.
UK: >([t#en u###### w#y you talkin to me]
UK: >([seems like as usual ur makin your own issues out for urself #ere]
GS: Because, I presumed it would be worth my while to at least give a bit of searching a shot.
GS: Clearly however, it really wasn’t worth as much as I may have initially hoped.
GS: It’s not exactly an issue as much as it is just a bit disappointing.
GS: With that being said, I really do not have much more to say to you myself, as you seem to desperately desire.
GS: So we might as well be done here for now.
GS: Unless for some strange reason you have anything else important to say to me, I’ll be on my way.
UK: >([jus one]
UK: >([ur stroke game W E A K]
-- grandioseSaturation [GS] gave up trolling unclaspedKahuna [UK] --
"Murrit: Answer the other troll. "
-- grandioseSaturation [GS] began trolling unclaspedKahuna [UK] --
GS: So, I believe you told me that everything is going to get demolished, correct?
GS: All of those things you told me earlier, about us taking action and the now more inevitable planetary destruction?
UK: >([o###### rite T#OSE t#angs]
UK: >([couldnt understand you tween t#a golden s#ovel you got caug#t in ya t#roat and t#a flagrant jack#ole takin over ur visage]
GS: You petulant wriggler, what has become of you?
GS: You used to be such a distinguished individual.
UK: >([we glubbin doin t#is]
GS: Apparently we are, and now I have even more to say.
GS: First of all, you do not DESERVE to use any sort of fish-related puns, especially not in my presence.
GS: Second, just DON’T make fish-puns at all. Ever.
UK: >([ok okay im sorry bru#]
UK: >([t#oug#t you would appreciate a playa playin into your #and]
UK: >([aint you t#e entire worlds supply of royal function reclamation]
UK: >([or at least one w#o ruminates it by t#a fire an a priceless paintin of an aquatic merbovine]
GS: I am, and one of the ONLY two of us left in any sort of hierarchy for expanses.
GS: Perhaps you should learn to shape back up and properly fulfill the role you’ve been granted, instead of disregarding any and all semblance of decency and dragging it through the turbidites.
GS: It would do you some good, despite how little value you may still actually hold at this point.
GS: Aquatic related witticisms are the most novice and etiolated form of any sort of sea dweller idiosyncrasy.
GS: They’re stupid and worthless and anyone who uses them legitimately is only fit to be viewed in the same manner.
GS: I don’t even believe that they became such a conventional trope on anything more than a bad joke.
GS: I will continue to view them as such.
UK: >([do i gotta respond to t#is]
UK: >([dint understand w#at t#a fuck #ell u jus said]
GS: Yes, you “gotta”, that is how conversations work.
UK: >([okay but consider t#e fact t#at]
UK: >([i dont wanna]
GS: You don’t “wanna”?
GS: Once again, a rather poor and juvenile excuse.
GS: You never want to do anything of any real importance it seems.
GS: This is a serious issue that we need to discuss, but I’ll relent for now.
GS: I wanted to come here civilly with a different topic to begin with.
GS: You’re the one that started a scene by deciding to immediately respond with petty insults.
GS: Instead of just answering my inquiry properly.
UK: >([yea mm#m sumt#in sumt#in questions]
"Murrit: Answer Blue Dog."
-- windlessArtificer [WA] began trolling unclaspedKahuna [UK] --
WA: Are you alive-?
WA: Alright- I guess I'll just go lay down or something-
UK: >([#ey woa woa#]
UK: >([cant just be sleepin peepin on t#is #ere nig#t]
UK: >([you knew t#e drill]
UK: >([its game time]
WA: Well it’s been game time-
WA: It was great-
WA: But you vanished and left me all alone-
WA: It ruined the flow-
UK: >([omfg you wise ass minilungs]
UK: >([you is t#e ONLY one wit# t#e real deal know #ow on t#is front and you t#oug#t im still ac#in on about small potato fry pseudofeels]
UK: >([badly rendered gamez w#ere you flap ur arms in a barren void wit# politically undertoned furnis#ings is my fav kinda game but you know t#e big deal is startin to be pus#ed out rig#t from under us]
WA: More important stuff-
WA: Like- harassment-
WA: Right right- my mistake-
UK: >([w/e did you see em tonig#t]
WA: Don't know why-
WA: He should have been here-
WA: That’s partially why I was going to go take a short snooze-
WA: Figured it’d be worth a quick check-
WA: Or if that still doesn’t happen- a brief visit to dreamland before everything starts getting hectic-
UK: >([gonna bring t#em t#a papers im guessin]
UK: >([w#ic# btw just wanna letc#a kno t#ats still real dumb #eadwork on your end bassetbloodz]
UK: >([w#y read bout w#at dont matter in t#e long run]
UK: >([t#ey gonna be touc#in an feelin all up on destiny and end form rig#teousness soon enoug#]
UK: >([life an times of plastic molded battle pieces wont be t#e first t#ing t#ey is #eaded towards]
WA: Yeah well- it was just a bit of a stunt at first- but-
WA: I started and just didn’t feel right stopping- Had to keep it going-
WA: Like a civic duty-
WA: Not even really about the content-
WA: Provides nice visual to speak a testament- to how outrageous it has become at this point-
WA: Haven’t done that yet- so I might as well-
UK: >([sounds like a big excuse to steal my flavorful styleins]
UK: >([dont forget to be w#o you is]
UK: >([i know ya aint got muc# of a personality besides everyday normal guy an I know ya gettin t#at t#ru ya t#ick pupper skull but yknow w#at]
UK: >([t#eres another t#ang inside a ya]
UK: >([an on t#e outside of ya]
UK: >([and it represents w#o you is]
UK: >([s called bein a dogg]
WA: Am I not fulfilling that enough-?
WA: With how I literally make dog noises- to show how dog-esque I am-
UK: >([well doggs cant talk can t#ey]
WA: Oh- right-
WA: Woof- arf- bark bark-
UK: >([t#ey cant type neit#er]
WA: wer rnm 4frfj efkllef -efldefnmwa-m-
UK: >([t#ere we fuckin go]
UK: >([now youre 100% original]
WA: grjki v4v8 iv8-?
UK: >([you got it doggo]
UK: >([now #urry it up wit# t#e zzz you aint got more t#an a couple #ours before first impact]
UK: >([knig#ty knig#t]
-- unclaspedKahuna [UK] gave up trolling windlessArtificer [WA] --
"Murrit: Examine desktop."
Your desktop, while unseen at the moment, is a hodgepodge of TOOLBARS AND SPAM that you ensure will slow down any thing you would like to do. You also use the worst browser you can find, GALENA, in order to ensure you browse on HARD MODE.
Your SKORPE THEME is 'TIT-TASTIC TEMPTATIONS' and you would think that this might be a custom made theme, but unfortunately it isn't.
Not unfortunate for you, but certainly for everybody else.
You left a rousing game of ANTHROPORMUNCIPALITY with your friend earlier, BLUE DOG must be wondering where you went.
"Murrit: Examine monitors. "
These monitors are for the smaller cameras you bugged in secret compartments among the rest of the fodder, each one being another hollowed out television except for your desktop computer.
You have eleven total cameras for eleven total people to watch over, including yourself.
You didn't really think you wouldn't include yourself in your watching for missteps, did you? That would just be totally unfair.
But there are no other cameras, just eleven. Especially no cameras for a TWELFTH PARTY. Twelve is such a stupid number, and you would like to forget it exists.
But before you can get raveled into deadly shenanigans, you remember there is a plot you need to keep moving.
The first step towards continuing it is to answer the two friends you've left on the back burner while you committed your hilarious antics.
"Murrit: Examine colorful cube. "
You've rigged this rudimentary puzzle toy into a weapon to be used against yourself in your UNDERGROUND HALL TRAPS.
Moving sides will in turn rotate the many walls of the expansive room to varying angles, each leading to different passageways with a different plethora of rigged devices waiting for you. Though the goal is always to reach the same finish: your HENTAI DUNGEON.
"Murrit: Check in on the blue guy. "
You check in on the blue guy.
Nothing out of the usual here, which is exactly the problem.
You would think the time he spends collecting corpse parts from these heinous looking undead guys would at least lead to a couple yuck-worthy scrapes but it's never anything but light thriller melodrama.
It's sad, but not the kind of sad you're looking for.
As always he's giving you the best footage you can ask for.
You can hear him yelling angrily for you to answer him, and you do so through the Based Occulatory Operation Buddy Drone's (BOOBDRONE) auto-chatter system.
This specific drone gives anatomically correct facts relating to the use of female troll chests, and their many psychological functions in daily life.
He isn't very fond of this, which would probably explain the incoherent growling.
"Murrit: Check in on Dismas. "
Oh yeah, he's doing just fine.
Every troll, whether they know about it or not, has an ANCESTOR of shared blood and sigil.
Records on lineage were kept stable throughout later time. Though recently, many of those records have been lost due to the planet’s overall decline. It was once so easy to know where you came from. Any troll who wanted to find out about their ancestry could do so without too much effort. Now, information on these subjects are not so easily found outside of performance arts and decrepit paintings.
There was once a point where a descendant’s ancestor could be heralded as a hero of fortune or a scoundrel amongst the commotion. Both sentiments were viable, and as such many tales and fables have been crafted regarding the nature of certain lives that broke the mold of importance.
But no good story truly stays fully in fiction.
Our trolls’ ancestors are special cases in history, as their descendants will also be. All twelve of their elders had a hand in creating a new world as much as they had a hand in destroying it. Leading for all up and coming events to take place as they rightfully needed to.
Their tale is one that is commonly referenced, but never truly grasped to its full potential due to the technical inaccuracy of person by person bias on the subject.
This story will also have to be pieced together as we go along.
It really does feel as if I’m handing you way too much information right from the get-go, but so many things wouldn’t make much sense if I didn’t give you at least the slightest briefing. Even if the topic feels all too familiar.
I can tell you’re curious, so allow me to give one hint you might remember from earlier.
It has something to do with a curse by blood.
We will keep the romance portion of this brief, as we will need to return to it at a later time. For now all you need to know is that trolls fall into four quadrants of similar yet varying tones and represented by easily recognizable and colored suits that should grasp your interest rather quickly.
They are called MATESPRITSHIP (<3), MOIRAILLEGENCE (<>), AUSPISTICE (c3<) and KISMESISSITUDE (<3<).
The former most and the latter most are the only ones who truly take part in these acts, dealing in respective forms of pity rather than love, one being closer and more tender, it being red, and the other much more bitter and brooding, this one being blackened.
The mating ceremony itself however, is basically the same in both forms. It is all just in the matter of practice in the moment that it begins to shift, but, that is between the two trolls and is nobody else’s business frankly.
These trolls are very sentimental creatures that take their courtship seriously, almost to the point of being territorial on the issue. Choosing a mate isn’t all fun and games, the choice can’t be random and the choice can’t be meaningless.
Sexual intimacy comes much; much later after this special someone is chosen. You really would need to be prepared to do this, as the experience is life changing not by nature of the action, but by completely closing your emotional bonding with one another. Ironically and obviously, this act is done physically.
But once you enter, you can’t exit. It's a bond leading the two parties to be intertwined, to have and to hold for as long as they may live.
Though reproduction alone doesn’t necessarily have to do with this ceremony at all, the process of such really does help nurture the troll to become ready for it to happen, and pleading them to only take part when ready for such a commitment. Or, at least they do in this day and age.
Troll reproduction on this planet is not inherently sexual by nature, at least not in conjunction with other rituals. It gets one all its own.
A few times in a troll’s lifespan, they will be asked to go to their most conveniently located REPRODUCTION STABLE to leave behind some form of genetic material to give to the helpful and friendly SERVICE DROID who makes your personal stable as comfortable as possible for you to give to society in the most literal manner there is. This offering can be anything as easy as a strand of hair, to the more obvious notions of blood and seed. The more you give, the more dominant it becomes in the system. After receiving the easiest made sample, the droid sends it off to an unknown location for it to be stored until use is needed, from there they mechanically pupate grubs using the DNA of the donors. Crafting them to be similar, yet different in order to carry their lineage and their symbol back into the outside world.
These trolls will then become that grubs ANCESTOR, and will normally be dead by the time of their hatching.
The absolute pride of your entire collection, you made it yourself.
Normally this sort of thing is for an imaginary physical courtship ceremony, but you and he are way past pretending in that stage.
Oh, right, I should probably explain what that means. Actually, I’ve noticed I brought up a few terms that have been left unexplained thus far.
Let's get that out of the way now.
Really, they aren't that unknown, they're just really old and outdated televisions, but despite that, as previously stated your taste really dives into the esoterically eclectic.
These running films and shows are all hundreds if not thousands of sweeps old (despite the fact one is still airing to this day with a drastic decline in quality) and are only able to be seen because of the stray wreckage you find around land. Well, that and these tapes are SUPPOSED to be virtually indestructible.
The ones you like to keep running are the ones that make you think and contemplate your existence as much as you contemplate the workings of the media itself.
Seriously though how can a show showing the natural state of planet wide kin-bound bananabloods run for THIS LONG?
"Murrit: Examine launchpad."
You use this in your video mash up collections to really bring it all together, using the power of wacky effects.
Each button has a specific function attached to it that really messes with video timeline, but some are more useless, like this one that just is a long sound of someone screaming.
You proceed to press this button and listen to the wail for many minutes.
This is your SHUTTER SHADE COLLECTION.
You have fifty-two pairs in total, and normally you like to switch them each wice per half-sweep cycle. They’re very important to your personality, keeping your eyes open and yet concealed from items of interest.
Eyes are the way to the SOUL you know.
But really there is no deeper meaning to the collection, you really just enjoy being different.
What is there to fondly regard here?
This new Murrit is the Murrit you’ve since been set on keeping, and with any personality, this one also has a NUMBER OF INTERESTS.
A lot of your time has gone into FULFILLING YOUR END OF THE BARGAIN with the aforementioned stranger who woke up your dreamself. Decoding the HIEROGLYPHICS of a long since ruined TEMPLE sporting the visage of some sort of AMPHIBIOUS CREATURE you’re pretty sure doesn’t actually exist.
But you’ve finally completed your work on that front tonight.
Otherwise, you are VERY PRONE TO BOREDOM on your TROPICAL ISLAND IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, y’know, the kinds with coconuts and shit. Those aren’t enough to keep you busy, and as such you’ve rigged your hive with an INSURMOUNTABLE NUMBER OF BOOBY TRAPS that could KILL YOU AT ANY TIME just for the sheer sport of it.
You collect a number of ANCIENT ARTIFACTS, most coming from THE RENAISSANCE. Specifically you’re invested in OLD MEDIA SYSTEMS and ESOTERIC ENTERTAINMENT PRODUCTS OF THE TIME. On a surface level, you have quite the collection of TELEVISIONS and VIDEO TAPES, leaving them ALL RUNNING ON SOMETHING AT ONCE, AT ALL TIMES. But on a much deeper level, you’ve managed to MODIFY the technology rather well, turning many of these objects into MONITORS and DRONES that you use to WATCH YOUR FRIENDS. You like to wait for them to FUCK UP and RECORD THE MOMENT so that you can make SURREAL COMEDY MASHUPS OF THEIR MISFORTUNE. But despite the fact that you POST THESE EVERYWHERE, you ensure its private to you alone. Anyone who clicks on your video is more than likely subject to a load of re-directions and nasty viruses.
Really, you’d like to think your best attribute is the DEDICATION and PERSISTENCE you bring to all of these hobbies. None of which even come close to the sheer magnitude of effort you go into showing your affiliation with HARDCORE PROMISCUOUS CULTURAL ART PIECES.
Truth be told, this isn’t so much of an interest as it is a parody of ANOTHERS interests as a COUNTER MEASURE to show him how UTTERLY SHITTY his ideals are. But in order to prove a point, sometimes you need to take the extra step. As such, the joke has evolved to be so much more to make the guise believable. Countless hours of RESEARCH, READING, WATCHING and going as so far as to make a DUNGEON OF SOLITUDE in relation to it. It’s gotten so bad that you aren’t even sure if you STILL DON’T LIKE THIS OLD AGE BIG EYED PORNOGRAPHY.
But other people don’t need to know if you’re joking, and neither do you.
It’s all a part of the fun.
Your trolltag is unclaspedKahuna and you >([speak in a staticy manner t#at no mofo even gets]
What will you do?
Your name is MURRIT TURKIN.
Really, that’s all you need to know.
But let’s go on regardless.
In so far, you’ve only had two iterations of yourself. But soon that will change.
In the past you were a SALESMAN. But after your DREAMSELF was awoken on the moon of DERSE by making a DEAL WITH A STRANGER, a small group of CHEATS known as the DEAD SHUFFLERS took you in as a HOSTAGE to the BLACK QUEEN. It was soon that their leader, the SCATHING SHARPER, took a shine to you. Learning from your newfound home, you were soon turned into a FEARED PERSONALITY AMONGST THE LAST REMAINING MEMBERS OF THE SEA TROLL HIERARCHY. As a RUTHLESS SWINDLER and CARD SHARK in the world of many various GAMBLING SPORTS, you acquired a fine taste for TAKING WHAT YOU WANT regardless if you earned it or not, and MURDERING any poor sucker who didn’t pony up the goods. You actually ended up meeting your PARTNER, Dismas, through these means. You still technically OWN HIS SOUL from that virtual poker game about two or so sweeps back, not that it matters now.
You soon realized that wasn’t the life you wanted to lead, and as such you GAVE IT ALL UP. Ending your reign and betraying the family you once had, sentencing one to a LIFE of COMMUNITY SERVICE and the other three INTO HIDING.
Since then you’ve settled in as this NEW MURRIT.
The kismesis, who we briefly met earlier on in the story, tells you that this could have all been prevented if you gave hi-fives responsibly.
You proceed to discern this notion as a crock of shit, to which he agrees and begins to record the action about to take place.
This is for the best, as it's time for his introduction proper.
He's going to be even less happy when he's dead.
You make sure to notify your kismesis that he'll be next.
He's REALLY not happy that you locked him out earlier.
"Dismas: Look up again."
DISMAS: Wh/\t is th/\t///
BOOBDRONE: >([a prop#ecy bein foretold]
BOOBDRONE: >([w#at ive been talkin on this w#ole convo]
DISMAS: I still don't underst/\nd///
BOOBDRONE: >([well ull get one last sec to t#ink on it]
BOOBDRONE: >([if ya can do t#at]
BOOBDRONE: >([mig#t be a lil too bizee preformin our last s#ow]
BOOBDRONE: >([didnt let beastie boy out for you to not fig#t #im an for you NOT to get ripped to s#reds for t#a vid one last time]
DISMAS: No w/\y///
DISMAS: You did not do th/\t///
DISMAS: I'm losing /\ll f/\ith in you /\nd /\nything you s/\y or do no m/\tter how se\/ere if you just did th/\t//
BOOBDRONE: >([sm# not my fault t#at you dont know #ow to roll wit# priority matters]
BOOBDRONE: >([o# speak of t#a atomic devils]
BOOBDRONE: >([its ur lil old man]
"Dismas: Look up."
DISMAS: Fucking GOD///
DISMAS: You just H/\D to hit right on the m/\rk, didn't you?///
DISMAS: How c/\n th/\t ridiculous thing e\/en sw/\t so h/\rd /\nd st/\y properly /\flo/\t?///
DISMAS: I c/\n't st/\nd it///
DISMAS: Doesn’t help th/\t I’m st/\ring /\t nothing but /\ lens///
DISMAS: I bet you feel /\wfully proud of yourself with th/\t che/\p shot, sheltered behind your remote-controlled /\uxili/\ry///
DISMAS: Not th/\t I’m surprised///
DISMAS: Che/\p shots /\re /\ll you /\re legitim/\tely good for///
DISMAS: Th/\t /\nd further s/\lting my wounds///
BOOBDRONE: >([waaaa# waaaa#]
BOOBDROBE: >([t#ats u rn]
BOOBDRONE: >([if you close your deformed maw mayb ill find some way to feed ya some grubby juice to pacify your incessant need to s#it ova erryt#ing i #ave ever done for u]
BOOBDRONE: >([ive got a real neat device t#at sprouts it rig#t at t#e c#est nubbaries for ez peez suckle action]
DISMAS: I couldn’t close it no m/\tter how b/\dly I w/\nted to///
DISMAS: Something you just m/\de /\ bit worse for the moment///
DISMAS: Wh/\te\/er you’\/e got to gi\/e isn’t going to be st/\ying put///
DISMAS: I’d c/\ll th/\t /\ most /\ccur/\te represent/\tion of wh/\t you’\/e done for me///
BOOBDRONE: >([ive always done so much more for you t#an you t#ink broe]
BOOBDRONE: >([spend more time bein grateful of t#e mind gifts i give an t#en youll kno wisdoms lik no ot#er]
BOOBDRONE: >([t#o it seems i #avent even gotten to my 2 ot#er needed in t#is moment s#ow offz an already you got t#a tears rollin]
BOOBDRONE: >([t#at s#ows you care]
BOOBDRONE: >([mig#ta misjudged ya t#ere for a sec]
BOOBDRONE: >([i t#ink ur gettin t#e message loud n clear]
BOOBDRONE: >([but can i get to t#a good part now]
DISMAS: Liter/\lly WH/\T good p/\rt is there///
DISMAS: I could h/\\/e just st/\yed put, /\nd not h/\d to suffer through this once /\g/\in///
DISMAS: Ye/\h, please, gi\/e me /\ better re/\son /\s to why I c/\me /\ll the w/\y out here///
DISMAS: So f/\r I got like /\ sprinkle of currently rele\//\nt inform/\tion out of you /\nd /\ sl/\p to the f/\ce///
DISMAS: Most of these except the l/\tter I’m not sure wh/\t to m/\ke of right now///
DISMAS: You’\/e still neglected to /\ctu/\lly tell me wh/\t it is th/\t we /\re supposed to be doing///
DISMAS: /\re you st/\lling for /\ timed reve/\l process///
BOOBDRONE: >([yea cuz t#is needs one]
DISMAS: Stop using those fingers to t/\p /\n incre/\singly, loudly f/\ke percussion rumble///
BOOBDRONE: >([give it a few more uptones]
BOOBDRONE: >([we gonna leave an boldly go w#ere erryone #as tried to #ave gone befoe but never returned to tell t#eir tales]
BOOBDRONE: >([outside t#a planet]
BOOBDRONE: >([past into t#a furt#er beyond]
DISMAS: /\nd where ex/\ctly would we go once we m/\ke this tremendously un-necess/\ry exodus?///
DISMAS: There’s nothing else out there for us th/\t would do /\ny good///
DISMAS: E\/ery expedition to the outer worlds ended only in f/\ilure /\nd flo/\ting corpses///
DISMAS: If this is a big excuse for something, I know th/\t this pl/\ce sucks///
DISMAS: But e\/erything isn't just going to inst/\ntly blow out like you s/\y it is without w/\rning///
DISMAS: We c/\n’t immedi/\tely gi\/e up on this pl/\net like the riff r/\ff, it’s /\ll we’\/e got///
DISMAS: Plus I still h/\\/en’t finished figuring out how to remo\/e /\ll the d/\mn skulltit/\ns from the surf/\ce///
DISMAS: I promise this pl/\ce will be tremendously better once they’re gone///
BOOBDRONE: >([i aint talkin no space travel sum rinkadink in#abitable planet on t#e far side of t#a moon or smt#in]
BOOBDRONE: >([t#is be a miniature get away for us ones deemed fit for jobbing it]
BOOBDRONE: >([we got a tiny pocket wit# 12 names written on it]
BOOBDRONE: >([just gotta squad up an get t#ere]
BOOBDRONE: >([follow my lead: stop pissin over on t#e small deets]
DISMAS: You still /\ren't-///
BOOBDRONE: >([no more words bottom scale]
BOOBDRONE: >([allow ur syallable vowel mixes to stay dead center]
BOOBDRONE: >([we sig#t on p#ys info duex edition]
BOOBDRONE: >([get t#at t#a FUCK outta #ere]
DISMAS: How /\bout this one?///
BOOBDRONE: >([k now youre just crampin me out]
BOOBDRONE: >([t#is is tradition]
BOOBDRONE: >([you cant just call off tradition]
BOOBDRONE: >([its traditions tradition]
BOOBDRONE: >([ive not no s#enanigans prepared for t#is]
BOOBDRONE: >([all i want is a lil skin]
BOOBDRONE: >([pinky swear]
BOOBDRONE: >([re-enlargin them peeps]
BOOBDRONE: >([s#out me a '#ell yea']
BOOBDRONE: >([gimmie dat finger]
BOOBDRONE: >([an lets truce on it]
BOOBDRONE: >([no dice #u#]
BOOBDRONE: >([riiig#t rig#t rig#t rig#t rig#####t rite]
BOOBDRONE: >([na# im feelin t#e beats youre pulsin my way loud n clear]
BOOBDRONE: >([we is scalin t#e wall of t#e past and #eadin into t#e future]
BOOBDRONE: >([an t#e future]
BOOBDRONE: >([is BUMPIN]
BOOBDRONE: >([one two t#ree four five in t#e sky]
BOOBDRONE: >([or at least four]
BOOBDRONE: >([#it it just like in t#e olden days of me and you yore]
BOOBDRONE: >([course it wont be t#a same due to t#e nature its not t#e routine #ours pending classic manuver we used to pull]
BOOBDRONE: >([but its t#e t#oug#t t#at counts]
BOOBDRONE: >([t#e t#oug#t]
BOOBDRONE: >([and t#e #and]
BOOBDRONE: >([cmon dont play me wit# dat]
BOOBDRONE: >([ive got at least t#ree t#ings t#at make all t#ose few mins of walkin an my abstrusive word jumbles all t#e wort# w#ile]
BOOBDRONE: >([#ere ill even give you t#e first deal on t#a spot rn]
DISMAS: This w/\s not worth it///
GD: If you’re the only one who h/\s /\ll this know-how on wh/\t’s going on /\nd wh/\t to do /\bout it then why does it h/\\/e to be something I need to be in\/ol\/ed in?///
GD: C/\n you ne\/er de/\l with /\nything without dr/\gging me /\long with you?///
GD: Wh/\t /\re you /\bout to try /\nd force me to do for you this time?///
UK: >([w#at i is bout to do is save your sorry ass anot#a #alfways from t#e cycle along wit# every ot#er one of you sorry sad sacks of mas#ed contractions]
UK: >([we is gonna ride t#e loop#ole all t#e way out of t#is rig]
UK: >([an youre gonna be t#e man t#at gets me in full deep into t#e mess]
UK: >([in fact soon youll be just like me]
UK: >([all of ya will]
UK: >([but as of rig#t now i gotta pus# t#e direction of t#e man]
UK: >([but dont you be worryin about t#at]
UK: >([got t#ousands of gears in progression and i got a majority of t#e clan s#oved into t#e pile]
UK: >([rn t#o im settin you up wit# your dreamlife before t#e dreamlife we is gonna s#are]
UK: >([betta get #ere quick d]
GD: I'm /\lmost out///
GD: This better be worth it///
GD: There we go, st/\rting to ring /\ few bells///
GD: Pretty sure /\ll th/\t sounded just /\s ridiculous the first time /\round///
GD: So how ex/\ctly does this rel/\te to us /\pp/\rently dying?///
UK: >([im GETTIN to it]
GD: Well c/\n you get to it /\ little f/\ster?///
GD: For someone who t/\lks /\s if this is so imper/\ti\/e you sure /\re w/\sting /\ lot of my time///
UK: >([u aint even out #ere yet s#it lips]
GD: How did you know I w/\s /\ctu/\lly coming?///
UK: >([bc youre never not cumming at me]
UK: >([for a manlet w#o demands so muc# you do v little to work off t#e norm]
GD: /\lso, you’re still not telling me wh/\t’s going on///
GD: You should get b/\ck to th/\t///
UK: >([well first off i never said we were dyin specif like t#at]
UK: >([jus sayin if you dont comply wit# me t#at ur gonna die]
UK: >([along wit# t#e rest of t#a world]
UK: >([big diff]
UK: >([t#e message i decoded was actually simple]
UK: >([at least in t#e general gist]
UK: >([course t#ere #ad to be a bunc# of spooky scary verbage of an existentialist #orror buff]
UK: >([upon our very last visitation c#at t#roug# my tv screen t#at appears to be t#e closer to t#is running gag of a round t#e globe comedy tour #e planned on me]
UK: >([but gist is t#at t#is place is going to wrap inside out into t#e pitz]
UK: >([pitz t#atll lick our life plate clean until t#eres not#in but space dust an regret]
UK: >([like all good points in a running plotline w#en t#e goin gets toug# t#eres a loop#ole ready to make it nice and easy as we inc# our way in]
UK: >([met#od aint practical but t#en again neit#er is our grand finale]
UK: >([dude came at me in a dream]
UK: >([bigger an more sloppy posed t#an a bulge floppin on a warm slip and slide]
UK: >([upon our greet #e said t#at #e was starting to admire my prescense]
UK: >([t#o rlly i was wonderin #ow t#is in beat logic was takin off cuz it was t#is static void]
UK: >([t#e fuck was i walkin]
UK: >([also w#y was i allowed to #ear #im and w#y wasnt my fins on t#e verge of an orc#estrated blowout]
UK: >([t#ese were t#e mysteries of a yung me]
UK: >([but it wasnt no big picture s#ow]
UK: >([wit#out an intro #e told me t#at i gots a c#oice t#atll c#ange my life forever]
UK: >([a c#oice t#at if i accept ill be granted in a similar fas#ion down t#e line in t#e #ole of destinies t#at i would promptly be mindpilled into if i took t#a s#ot]
UK: >([it would lead me upon t#e true pat# or smt#in]
UK: >([and it waz to piece toget#er a local message t#at i already knew existed]
UK: >([I.E t#em gylphs]
UK: >([and to s#are the word it #as amongst t#e bonds i got on knowledge on]
UK: >([in exc#ange]
UK: >([i would get a one way ticket to a land of s#adows and purp]
UK: >([#is own slow crafted design to live out a way of life w#ere i could be t#e young man i always dreamt of becomin]
UK: >([an s#it boi you kno i accepted]
UK: >([but not wit#out t#inkin]
UK: >([t#inkin about w#at exactly all t#is was to mean for me because many attempts later]
UK: >([i realized t#is boney pony doesnt get swindled]
UK: >([#e kept #is end of t#e deal regardless and i t#ink even wit# my misdeeds #e knew i was gonna #afta pull t#ru eventually]
UK: >([an eventually is now #ard skin]
UK: >([got paid in advance]
UK: >([fact is]
UK: >([no eyes skullfuck wasnt #oldin back on t#e definition of t#e ideal self]
UK: >([place was a dump but it was t#ere i learned t#e mastery of t#e 52 #ands]
UK: >([ended up stuck in t#e company of t#is mad sticked figure w#o took me in an s#owed me t#e ropes to reel in t#e dopes]
UK: >([we was a walking nig#tmare on t#e streets an w our crew we robbed t#e joint twelve kinds of blind]
UK: >([some playas called #im t#e scat#ing s#arper]
UK: >([i knew t#e man as jack]
GD: Ye/\h ok/\y, I definitely knew /\bout /\ll your p/\st g/\mbling shen/\nig/\ns///
GD: There is no w/\y for me not to h/\\/e, seeing /\s how it w/\s /\ m/\jor p/\rt of my own problems for the better p/\rt of /\ couple sweeps///
GD: I m/\y not remember the full det/\ils of /\ lot of the r/\ndom filth you tell me, but I’m not forgetting /\ny of the shit you forced me to do b/\ck then /\nytime soon///
GD: It’s /\ bit better but honestly, it’s /\ hell I’m still li\/ing in///
GD: So the history lesson there w/\s unnecess/\ry///
GD: Continue on to the more \//\lu/\ble p/\rt th/\t I thought you were going to deli\/er in the first pl/\ce///
UK: >([dont interrupt t#is is integral tissue mouth]
UK: >([i met #im back w#en i was about 9 cycle passes an some c#ange]
UK: >([a small bound #ustla on t#e move doin anyt#ing #e can to pull a stack from t#e waterwork an make a quick pelf off t#e stupidest fucks t#is side of t#e coast]
UK: >([u got to be knowin me as a virtua poker man]
UK: >([but a s#arks gotta learn to keep movin somew#ere and w#en i was bottomfeeding all i knew to bank was t#ese busted up rock picture dioramas embedded underneat# my isle]
UK: >([bunc#a #oppity amp#ibious croakin weirdos i #ad never seen befoe]
UK: >([some intense spin patterns and flowers in t#ere too but i didnt care about no purpose]
UK: >([no r#yme no reason]
UK: >([just c#ips an dinero]
UK: >([t#at was t#e first appearance of purpose in t#is lil play stage t#at i was unknowinly set up on]
UK: >([t#at was t#e mornin i was ligamentstruck into t#e boned zone]
GD: Well I know you /\re just going to s/\y it /\g/\in /\nyw/\ys since I cle/\rly don't remember enough///
GD: So go /\he/\d///
UK: >([na# man tb# t#ere aint no later in t#is equation]
UK: >([youre tryin to be solvin my word riddles again]
UK: >([but t#eres no possible outcome except t#e same fuckin end variable i tried to start wit#]
UK: >([word form 'd-i-e']
GD: You're so dr/\m/\tic///
GD: Not dying is ex/\ctly why I don't w/\nt to go out///
GD: Wh/\t else could possibly be h/\ppening right now th/\t is so ins/\nely c/\t/\strophic?///
UK: >([well t#en lemme speak in a language t#at u mig#t be understandin a lil clearer t#an normal]
UK: >([keep my verbage more or less squeaky]
UK: >([do you remember t#e story i let you in on about t#e boner man]
UK: >([#ow well do you remember it]
GD: Considering /\ll the shit th/\t spews out of your hole, prob/\bly \/ery \//\guely///
UK: >([#ow many times am i gonna need to re-explain my life story tonig#t]
"Dismas: Answer UK. "
UK: >([ok okay aig#t alrig#t mr t#ree scar general over #ere]
UK: >([lemme just go '#ead an give you t#e word of t#e moment so we can keep t#ings nice and clear wit#out goin sack deep into t#e extraneous pissy s#itty]
UK: >([we got a film to s#oot an t#is is important because its going to be a generational winner]
UK: >([wort#y of a planetary crater to call its own]
UK: >([w#ic# i kno itll be lucky enough to be gettin momentarily]
UK: >([so t#ats w#y once again youre gonna needs to be puttin t#e bandito out of t#e wild wild west end of your ass and into your #ead]
UK: >([cuz t#is is t#e last time we're gonna be able to really s#oot on location and i want t#ese moves to be rancid nasty]
UK: >([even went outta t#e way to lure out a costar for u]
UK: >([in order to make sure i get served up some primal failure to furt#er ruin]
UK: >([an you know you is t#e official candidate for my 10/10 5/5 1/1 editary gilded statue award bait]
GD: No, I'm not going outside right now///
GD: Your l/\me pseudo-critic/\l shooting session c/\n w/\it /\ little while///
GD: I just left the shitliz/\rd outside not too long /\go with /\ pretty li\/id /\ttitude///
GD: I c/\n still he/\r him scr/\tching /\round /\nd looking to m/\ke /\ scene, /\nd I'm not interested in getting in his w/\y /\g/\in /\nytime too soon///
GD: St/\ying locked up for /\ little while is much better for me right now, honestly///
GD: So ple/\se///
GD: /\sk me /\g/\in l/\ter///
You HATE him.
You're going to have to answer him on MOBILE SKORPE with your TRILOBYTE.
Mobile Skorpe is much more clean and compact, but still just as bad as the original, which you can't use anymore after CREATING A THEME you titled 'LIZARDSLAUGHTER LITANY' which then proceeded to CRASH YOUR ENTIRE SYSTEM.
Fucking things up for yourself on a constant basis is a really bad habit of yours.
"Dismas: Examine tapes. "
He managed to find a way to sneak in and tear the place up recently, destroying your most recent finds in the process.
This form of video is actually rather OBSOLETE, you're only able to watch them due to your "PARTNER" having connections with ancient artifacts.
This guy is the worst one, you hate him.
"Dismas: Examine burnt out ore."
You like to sneak these into your guardian’s meals when he’s particularly ravenous to see if he’ll choke.
Really it’s not advisable to be touching this, or any of what you feed to your lusus as the TOXICITY is through the roof. But over time and disfigured body parts, you’ve gained a tolerance to the stuff.
"Dismas: Examine corkboard."
Were the world to end though, the cause would be not of some cataclysm more than it would be the virtue of a bunch of monsters tearing through the planetary shell with blue hot atomic beams. Close to the likes of you and the majority of the lower blood castes, these creatures have taken their once powerful forms and doubled them over into FULL ON SURVIVAL TACTICS. Though, unlike your caste, they aren’t properly utilized for anything except MAKING YOUR LIFE HELL.
You have a bunch of notes detailing the varying powers and battle methods of the creatures you were able to see on film, as well as the methods of fighting them off, testing them out on SMALL SCALE TRAINING DUMMIES. In the past the best method was to use MECHANIZED TECHNOLOGY to craft controlled fighter savages to fend them off, but these were all DECIMATED and most techniques from back then are unavailable today.
Which is truly a shame; SLIME UNITS just do not make for good combat ready machinery.
The world isn’t going to be ending anytime soon.
Not if you have anything to say about it.
"Enter name. "
Your name is DISMAS MERSIV.
You have been taken in by a SKULLTITAN YOUNGLING, one of the planets most RAMPANTLY DESTRUCTIVE of the plentiful environmental issues at stake. Once thought to have gone extinct after the EXTENSIVE ANCIENT ARCHITECTURAL BATTLES waged against them and the other varying ULTRA BEASTS OF BURDENING they would FRIVOLOUSLY PICK FIGHTS WITH.
A select few escaped, retreating to burrow deep underground into the PLANETS CORE and stay in hiding. Surviving solely off the EMINATING RADIATION before resurging eons later to breed once more and battle in an attempt to become THE KING OF ALL MONSTROSITIES. Only the weaker minors slightly contemplate taking any caretaker roles in order to be fed the POTENT IRRADIATED ORES they now crave.
Not completing these tasks would leave you as GOOD AS DEAD. As such, you are forced to MINE at the bottom of your CANYON LANDSCAPE to feed him. But this doesn’t mean that you aren’t one to REBEL AGAINST AUTHORITY, an aspiration you’ve taken a liking to but CONSISTENTLY OVERESTIMATE YOUR ABILITY TO DO PROPERLY.
These mini-rebellions are grounds of territorial abuse to your custodian, and as such you have MANY SCRAPES WITH HIM, quite literally in fact. These poisoned marks would normally kill on principle, but your body has a PESUDO-HEALING FACTOR that mends your wounds albeit leaving them SCARRED AND DISFIGURED. You are EXTREMELY SENSITIVE about this, and as such make sure to COVER THEM UP as much as possible.
The majority of your time is taken up STUDYING OLD DOCUMENTARY TAPES in order to find a way to MURDER HIM and the entire LEIGON OF CRUST ABOMINATIONS soon after.
Oh, and sometimes you’re forced to play games.
Your trolltag is gigantisDebilitation and your reser\/ed tone is r/\ther sh/\rp///
What will you do?
"Albion: Think of something else."
You think of something else, some of the people you love and trust with every beat of your now pounding color artery.
One of these people is this scruffy young man, who is next in our first line of points to cross.
His eyes are slit, his thoughts are as down towards the earth as his feet, his mouth is shut and his ears are open.
Not that he could hear these musings right now, even if he wanted to. But he, like all the relevant others will know the rattle of my voice sooner rather than later.
Who is he, though? Let's become him and find out.
Even if I'm already well aware.
GUARDIANSPIRIT: ******they as well as we are meant to disappear*****-
GUARDIANSPIRIT: ******there has been a divine intervention, our child*****-
GUARDIANSPIRIT: ******we know now the truth of our form*****-
GUARDIANSPIRIT: ******and the path of your belonging*****-
GUARDIANSPIRIT: ******this coil we are aligned in*****-
GUARDIANSPIRIT: ******it does not lead to savior*****-
GUARDIANSPIRIT: ******your soul and this world are not meant for reincarnation*****-
PO: ~Fucking, why is +his even impor+an+??? ~
PO: ~No+ a single person has spewed for+h any+hing coheren+ a+ me ye+ +oday, and i+s really blowing me up.~
PO: ~I don'+ have +he fain+is+ idea wha+ you're referring +o o+her +han +he fac+ +ha+ I apparen+ly need +o par+icipa+e~
PO: ~some clear ins+ruc+ions would be really vi+al if ANY+HING is going +o happen on my end ~
PO: ~If you can jus+ do +ha+ much for me, and if I +hink i+s a damn reasonable explana+ion...~
PO: ~I'll +hink abou+ i+.~
PO: ~bu+ i wan+ +o know why.~
PO: ~You gave me an explana+ion, which is all I really asked for I guess.~
PO: ~I s+ill don'+ feel like i'm ge++ing any of i+~
PO: ~nor do i believe i+~
PO: ~bu+ you gave me more of an answer +han any+hing else I've go++en so far~
PO: ~I don+ know how you expec+ed me +o reac+ +o some+hing like +ha+?~
PO: ~+rying +o +ell me, ou+ of nowhere, +ha+ +he world is abou+ +o fall apar+ and you're disappearing somehow~
PO: ~+ha+'s a pre++y exhorbi+an+ load +o drop on me, and then expec+ me +o play along~
PO: ~no+ +o men+ion I s+ill don'+ even fucking unders+and i+~
PO: ~you know i don'+ even believe in +ha+ shi+~
PO: ~I was +rying my absolu+e hardes+ +o kind of no+ comple+ely explode on you, bu+ wha+ you're saying is fucking RIDICULOUS.~
PO: ~I'm no+ going +o abandon you if some+hing is ac+ually happening~
PO: ~Bu+ wha+ help from me do you REALLY need? ~
PO: ~you pre++y much never need my help, a+ leas+ no+ wi+h any+hing so major~
PO: ~You're always so on +op of every+hing~
PO: ~you're so PERFEC+~
PO: ~in a way i+s a special kind of +errifying~
PO: ~I'm no+ happy a+ ALL wi+h wha+ you're +rying +o +ell me~
PO: ~and im no+ going +o jus+ resign and accep+ i+~
PO: ~wha+ would you even you wan+ me +o do?~
**demiurgeQuantified [DQ] gave up trolling perniciousOverkill [PO]**
"And a little while later..."
The BARD and the SYLPH do indeed speak again.
It goes as well as it can.
"Albion: Answer Taz."
PO: ~Hey Albion.~
PO: ~So I jus+ go+ a shi++y bunch of messages from UK.~
PO: ~he men+ioned wan+ing me +o play some sor+ of game wi+h him, al+hough knowing how he is +ha+ could mean a wide varie+y of +hings +ha+ I am mos+ likely 0% in+eres+ed in~
PO: ~like i+s probably jus+ some sor+ of elabora+e piffling scheme +o play a useless and an+agonizing +rick on me.~
PO: ~+o ge+ on my nerves or some+hing~
PO: ~Already ge+s me mad jus+ wondering abou+ i+~
PO: ~Ac+ually no, I don'+ really fucking care.~
PO: ~Especially since he +old me in order +o do wha+ever i+ is he is planning I go++a work wi+h Arcjec~
PO: ~ISN'+ GUNNA HAPPEN~
PO: ~I had a few momen+s wi+h my +hough+s and also +hough+ I'd come men+ion i+ +o you~
PO: ~I+'s probably a bi+ of a s+re+ch bu+ i was wondering if maybe you heard some+hing abou+ i+ +oo and could offer a li++le clearer insigh+ on wha+ +he ac+ual shi+ he's +alking abou+~
PO: ~or no+ and I can jus+ complain +m+~
PO: ~Fuck you~
PO: ~Well no I hadn'+ ac+ually been expec+ing you +o know bu+ +hen you raised my hopes and +hen you lied +o me~
PO: ~bu+ now I'm jus+ confused~
PO: ~Do you know some+hing or don'+ you?~
PO: ~Now you are also jus+ being vague and kinda foreboding~
PO: ~I don'+ really apprecia+e +ha+ much righ+ now.~
PO: ~Because I can+ comprehend viciously wrong knowledge sen+imen+s.~
PO: ~oh no~
PO: ~Albion no~
PO: ~Don'+ make me +M+~
Your SKORPE THEME is 'NEBULAIC NIRVANA'.
The central hub of your applications being an age old interpretation regarding the creation myth of a world lacking turmoil. The piece has always seemed to speak to you on a fundamental level, as if it's the being you should properly become in time.
"Albion: Activate Skorpe. "
Tranquility is an asset harshly under utilized in the minds of others.
That is why yours acts as a personal safe haven.
"Albion: Meditate. "
"Albion: Use Astral Projector. "
You place the ASTRAL PROJECTOR in front of you, using your SPIRIT POWER in order to activate it.
You will now have electronic access in THE CELL.
Luckily, you've rigged your modus with some of your less appealing sounding candles to have your item just where you need it.
The SPIROGRAPH now allocates one of your TRANSLATED SCROLLS into the center card, allowing your POTENT GLOP ENHANCERS, SPARE INCENSE, SEXTANT and GRUBBY JUICE SCENTED CANDLE around it as the INACCESS cards. Not that you'll be needing them anytime soon.
Aren't things much better when you plan ahead?
"Albion: Open Spirograph Modus. "
Your modus is currently rigged to an eleven card system on a ten point graph.
The ASTRAL PROJECTOR holds a spot in the middle, which will always be a WHITE card. It is also surrounded by five currently inaccessible BLACK cards and five accessible GREEN cards.
The center card can be accessed and can have something new put in it at any time. Doing either of these actions will alter the arrangement of the spirograph.
Certain, usually complex, configurations will have some cards more accessible and others more inaccessible. If the center card is removed, depending on the configuration another specific card will be slotted into the center. Vice versa for if a card is added to the center slot. If a card is removed from a position that ISN'T the center, the configuration will change, but the center card will not.
However, more simple alterations will allow sets of cards to be moved around, without changing the graph, such as switching certain levels with each other.
Removing any currently accessible card, or adding an extra card, will change and add an extra point to the spirograph; it shifts depending on how many cards are in the deck.
"Albion: Recieve message from Taz."
Right on schedule.
You could feel the hot passions of her overblown conundrums coming from miles away.
However, you'll need your ASTRAL PROJECTOR in order to use SKORPE and speak with her, a device which has been placed in your SPIROGRAPH MODUS.
"Albion: Admire slime pit. "
This isn't your typical RECOOPREACOON and is more so for PURE RELAXATION.
Meditiation takes a lot of focus and poise. Going in here is a good way to take the tension out of your system.
You use GLOP ENHANCERS to make each experience slightly different, though you've been set on MIRACULOUS VIEW lately. The colors really permeate in both size and smell.
"Albion: Read table scroll."
You're taking the time to properly translate it to CURRENT TEXT first, which has been taking longer than you expected. Your language as of now is structured very differently than that of anything before THE RENIASSANCE, in both phrase and symbol. You've been staying away from digging deep into this scroll until you've gotten that done, you like to be surprised when you read tales of the past. You really have your priorities straight!
Though, from what you've seen just at this quick glance, it seems to talk about some sort of CURSE THROUGH BLOOD.
Doing this task was for once not for your personal enjoyment, but at the request of your MATESPRIT, who you have been slowly teaching PLANETARY CUSTOMS as they are rather BEHIND.
Your ring begins to turn PINK.
You slap it.
It goes back to green.
"Albion: Check Mood Ring. "
You are completely green and stable! Hooray! You already knew this, because your ring is always completely green and stable as that is your WILL.
But you like to treat each time you see it like a little mini-achievement anyways. It really makes the consistency feel earned rather than like a nightly chore for your state of mind.
Because of the uniform nature that is your disposition, you never catch yourself with more than a glimpse of the other moods present (with a few exceptions).
HOPE (Blue), COMPASSION (Purple), and PITY (Pink) are ones you can allow for prolonged periods. FEAR (Yellow), GREED (Orange) and especially RAGE (Red) are expressly forbidden, not by Star Children more than by yourself.
It is said that when you merge with your lusus, your mood ring will turn a ghostly WHITE, representing the LIFE you will now lead.
If your ring were to turn BLACK, though, it would mean you've lost any power you once had. You would feel BLANK.
You won't let that happen.
"Enter name. "
Your name is ALBION SHUKRA.
You are the TWELFTH and FINAL in a long line of EXTRATERRESTRIAL PROPHETS, the true name of these multiuniversal deities only given the vague term of STAR CHILDREN.
Your overall purpose in life is to teach others about COMING TOGETHER. Not only with others but also with themselves in order to build up thoughts of OVERALL OPTIMISM AND EXUBERANCE rather than the constant feelings of fear and self-doubt that dwells inside every living creature.
Each STAR CHILD has a specific gift relating to the truth of their world; however as the last in the line you have NONE, and instead are given the opportunity to BEAR ALL PREVIOUS GIFTS to become a being of COMPLETE CONCILIATION, THE PURE ONESELF.
You communicate with your GUARDIAN: the SOULS OF THOSE WHO CAME BEFORE YOU through MEDITATION in order to prepare for the point when you are to MERGE as a SINGULAR BEING. The time of this juncture specifically set for the point in which your PLANET IS BROKEN BEYOND REPAIR.
And you know that time has always been tonight.
Aside from your obligations, you have a VARIETY OF MORE CASUAL INTERESTS.
You enjoy finding CONSTELLATIONS and FORMING PICTURES with the night sky as your mental canvas, each and every sectioned menagerie of bright gas and light positioning in the firmament to tell you a story. You then take the time to pen these tales in ANCIENT PRETEXT as records of legend in an attempt to revive the time lost tradition of PLANETARY FOLKLORE.
You have a vested interest in collecting colorful and fragrant incenses which emit CALMING AROMAS that help you keep your BODY CHEMISTRY at a balance so that you are in total control of your SPIRIT POWER, a COMPLETE MANIFESTATION OF EMOTION, which you monitor and use through your MOOD RING. Though, the need of doing such rarely occurs as you are an EXTREME PACIFIST with absolutely no tolerance in letting unneeded confrontation stand.
Most of your other free time is spent solving problems and being the resident shoulder to cry on amongst your other friends, though most specifically your MOIRAIL and PART-TIME AUSPISTICE: TAZ.
Your trolltag is demiurgeQuantified and *you*speak*in*a*manner*that*really*shines*.
What will you do?
It appears that we have quite a bit of catching up to do, moving this along requires cooperation from both ends. So please bare with gaps until they're completely filled.
Ah, this is the spot where we need to be.
Unlike some others, it appears that this girl has been patiently waiting for her time to come. Doing no wrong and no harm as per usual. The innocent and tranquil look is pretty much gone at this point, but this soothing atmosphere is starting to really take the cryptic sequencing and latent sorrow down a notch.
Who is she?
"Arcjec: Inspect drawing."
It happened again.
"[S] Arcjec: Recover."
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Reasons like those are why you won't ever apologize for something worth doing.
Reasons like those are why you can't bring yourself to care about this as much as you want to.
The lines of those who normally take care of the world's oceans were all cut down a long time ago by a self proclaimed tyrant who wanted to stand as the one and only of his stature. And now all measures of the sea hierarchy only approximate about 0.1 percent of the entire worlds population. Which is already dwindling as it is due to the general environmental standards.
The water has only been degrading since that time, THE RENAISSANCE. All of the pollution from normal garbage to hazardous items like toxic waste and chemical mixtures have all been dumped into the ocean as if it's the general dross receptacle.
You have to force your lusus to stay away from its natural habitat and as such its become HORRIBLY STIR CRAZY. Doing absolutely anything to keep its mind away from the call of the wild. The wildlife has taken a great toll to it as well. All of the prolonged exposure has turned what used to be mostly harmless sea creatures into CANNIBALISTIC CARNIVORES. Feasting off the flesh of their own kind and mutating into unholy beasts with EXTRA EYES and WIGGLING APPENDAGES the likes that can't even be found in the most exploitative of average dwellings.
But it stands for part of the reason people like you even exist. With the overpopulation of LOWBLOODS running amok, somebody has to thin the numbers out, even if it isn't for a truly decent purpose.
You can't help but feel a little sorry that he wound up down there.
He looks a lot better than what would have happened if you actually got around to getting your hands on him. But, it's for the best his carcass didn't land into THE BLACK DEPTHS.
Your custodian really has the whole scale of your relationship backwards.
She believes that she's semi-aquatic queen of your hive, yourself and also the world more than likely. Everything is her property, including your match pick you've been keeping stowed away in the fort.
Oh you motherfucker.
"Taz: Investigate SREEEEEEE. "
It suddenly appears that you have a problem.
"Taz: Admire championship prizes. "
This belt was the first you ever took home around two sweeps ago, you've won many more since then. You're a real fort pleaser, most of your belts outside of those won for various KEY MATCH grades and SCRAMBLE ROYALES are for high preformance.
As the title holder, you were allowed to take your victims practically unrecognizable remains back for display purposes. You have a friend who can do TAXIDERMY reasonably well but you're really not a big fan of asking for help. So you reconstructed and solidified his corpse with CONCRETE.
You like to think you did a pretty good job.
"Taz: Berate Hulk Hogan. "
Look at you, you filthy degenerate piece of mat scum. You've given yourself up and the rest of the world onlooking is putting you down. Your locomotive trend of others treading by your heel is as unctuous as the aldente grain worms you put onto the masses.
You will fall, and if not tossed by the harshly gripping and unceremonious hand of the two above. Then by yourself you will relay a clean finish to the slate of this world and the next.
The go away heat just keeps getting hotter.
You realize that you can turn this off at any time, but the feeling of being able to do this whenever you feel like it's necessary pleases you.
There you are.
"Taz: Examine bar."
On the bar you see two unopened bottles of PINFALL FUEL and a nice looking meat slab cooked just the way you like it: RAW.
Though you can't take a moment to settle in for a nice meal right now, as you have to lay the SMACKDOWN on a still loudly blaring in-group heresy.
"Taz: Go downstairs. "
The floodgates were pretty much open already, being on INCOGNIZABLE is pretty much already like being on CLOYING, you might as well invite the rest of the crowd to start going wild.
Your SKORPE THEME is "HOGANS HEROES" and you really wish you could scrub off all of these dirty watermarks and replace them with somebody who actually has respect and isn't a pious ego gargling sellout.
UK: >([well lezz just call my man #ere an informant]
UK: >([knew #im from way back w#en]
UK: >([sourced me into my being p muc#]
UK: >([and now #e sourced me one more time for good measure but #e said t#is was my last tip off]
UK: >([#int was t#at t#is place was rotten an #e said it in a narratorly tone of srs biznis so #e aint playin any games]
UK: >([but we are]
PO: ~Every single +hing +ha+ you are saying s+ill jus+ sounds like a bunch of poin+less clap+rap.~
PO: ~Which I don'+ wan+ +o hear.~
PO: ~And I don'+ really +hink +ha+ I care anyways.~
PO: ~Bu+ I'll give you like...~
PO: ~One more go a+ properly explaining why you are +rying so hard +o sell me on +his.~
UK: >([got all this figured out but i need you to pair up wit# #ig# fructose for t#is cuz tb# u is gettin dragged in w#et#er you in or u out]
PO: ~You be++er no+ be +alking abou+ who I +hink you're +alking abou+.~
UK: >([damn str8 im talkin bout t#e arcman]
UK: >([pls do me a solid rep an get over yaself so we can get these balls movin fast cuz soon we r on tha clock]
PO: ~No+ going +o happen.~
-- perniciousOverkill [PO] gave up trolling unclaspedKahuna [UK]--
"Taz: Answer troll."
UK: >([ayyyye wuss poppin clown bounce]
UK: >([best getc#a self tig#tened up and ya jigglers packed t#e fuck in cuz s#it boi do i got t#e lig#t to ignite one #elluva fire inside your brain matter]
UK: >([ready to start goin off w#en you start gettin down]
PO: ~Do you really +hink +ha+ i+ is accep+able +o jus+ MESSAGE me whenever you wan+? ~
PO: ~I +hink I very clearly had my program on i+s specific se++ings EXAC+LY so +ha+ you could no+ do +ha+. ~
PO: ~And ye+ you s+ill do.~
PO: ~You're lucky I was ac+ually here +o even see +his~
PO: ~I happened +o be jus+ abou+ +o ge+ in+o some+hing more impor+an+ and wouldn'+ have been able +o ge+ back +o you for a while.~
PO: ~+hen wha+ would you have done wi+h yourself? ~
UK: >([aig#t so u done now]
PO: ~No I'm no+ done.~
PO: ~Why don'+ you fucking wai+ when you can clearly see +ha+ I am no+ done.~
PO: ~You in+erup+ed me when I did no+ wan+ +o be and was no+ expec+ing +o be dis+urbed.~
PO: ~So you are going +o have +o deal wi+h +he consequences.~
UK: >([k so ur done now and im just gonna keep talking bc its my turn]
PO: ~alrigh+ I guess.~
UK: >([so i finally completed my lifes work #ere]
UK: >([sweeps n sweeps of decoding and uncrypticin and searc#ing for funny lookin rocks gave me some gotdamn reassurance t#at t#is actually was a big league c#oice of action]
UK: >([also no offense to rocks btw tell the lil man what it is from me]
UK: >([na# see you still aint gettin t#e grand scope of all t#e pictures im tossin your direction]
UK: >([s like im jus slammin pics and rubbin em all over an smearin my good name so u can get t#e picz but you is just standin t#ere all cold faced an big breasted]
UK: >([gotta let me WORK #ere bitc# carny]
PO: ~+he picture +ha+ I'd like +o see is +he one +ha+ shows me wha+ +he ac+ual shi+ you're +alking abou+?~
It appears someone from the fodder is trying to message you.
Weren't you set on INCOGNIZABLE? Oh well, it's not like this system has ever managed to function properly in the first place. You're supposed to NOT RECIEVE MESSAGES AT ALL but knowing who's talking he probably found some manner of bypassing those settings if it didn't already fail.
This guy is one of the better ones, you like him.
This isn’t the first time this has happened.
You have a rather nasty habit of making the same mistakes over and over again without remorse, it’s kind of your thing.
"Taz: Check damage. "
You got a little out of hand with the Ferocity Weaver.
"Taz: Use Ferocity Weaver. "
"Taz: Examine weapon cabinet. "
This is where you keep all of your personal favorite choices for taking down opponents.
These tools of bodily destruction not limited to: ONE (1) LONGBALL MACE (Your personal favorite.), ONE (1) MOUTH GASHER, ONE (1) pair of SKIN PIERCE HANDCUFFS, ONE (1) row of NEEDLEPOINT GAGS, ONE (1) TORTURE FORK BELT (Sans the actual Torture Fork.), ONE (1) PALM DECIMATOR and the most potent, ONE (1) FEROCITY WEAVER.
All of these in an easy to reach compartment!
You make it even easier by breaking the glass with your fist instead of opening the door.
The man himself.
Starting from the bottom, TERENE BOLLEA was tossed into a RESENT GRADE TORTURE FORT KEY MATCH after a disagreement with his hero, the champion of the RUTHLESS EXPEDITIONARY KNOCKOUT TOURNAMENT over the worthwhile nature of his facial hair.
After being forced to choose his weapon, it was several hours before he was able to murder his powerful assailant and take the key from his neck to leave, all of this without using his FOLLOWER CHUCKLEVOODOO. It was a display unseen before that point in time and has never been replicated by another persona since. After being baptized in the blood of his former high brother, he gave himself the name of HULK HOGAN and sought out to meet his makers personally through the creation of his own federation group known only as the I.C.P.
This story is common knowledge, you know it and everybody else knows it because ‘The Hulkster’ goes on about the HULKAMANIA he’s created every night on his talk show, which you can hear blaring from downstairs because watching it is actually MANDATORY. The guy has single handedly overtaken the faith on EGO and BLIND DEVOTION alone. Even after his scandal of helping the ZEALOTS of a RIVAL FAITH usher in a wave of demons from the HORRORCORE DIMENSION.
As much as you admire him and his TENACITY, one day you just might have to kill him for all of this.
"Taz: Pet the rock. "
CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S SLEEPING?
You can’t just do something like that to the brains of your tag team duo! Even if you don’t have a problem of disturbing anybody else, THE ROCK is special.
He’s been with you as long as you can remember, and you will always treat him with respect.
Your name is TAZ.
Of course according to social convention you have a LONGER, MORE APPROPRIATE NAME. You don’t use it for the very justified reason of: IT FUCKING SUCKS. Nicknames are rather common on this planet, given that the ACCOUCHEMENT GOLEMS root you into the DENOMINATION LOGE to piece together a proper call before you EVEN HAVE FULLY DEVELOPED MOTOR SKILLS. So of course some of the designations are going to be unintelligible and meaningless.
Your religious allegiances lie within that of the MIRTHAMANIACS. A specific breed of JESTER-ESQUE PERSONAS, that wishes to promote THE IDEOLOGY OF RIGHTEOUS JUDGEMENT against LETHAL FALLACIES OF CORRUPTION RUNNING WILD IN THE SYSTEM. This is a fancy way of promoting the perverse nature of CHOREOGRAPHED INFIGHTING GRUDGE MATCHES to decide who TRULY DESERVES A SPOT AT THE TOP OF THE LADDER with the RAWED BROTHERS. As well as keeping the personal intents of GRIEVANCE SLAUGHTERING away from the public. Everybody’s got a price.
You haven’t made a PERSONA of your own yet and you don’t INTEND to as you feel it’s pretty logically idiotic. You’re not going to sacrifice your personality for a goofy chant and tight spandex, even if you ADMIRE THOSE WHO DO. But despite this, you have a rather well established role in the creed due to your INTIMIDATION CHUCKLEVOODOO that is ALMOST ALWAYS ACTIVE.
You also have an EVER INCREASING AMOUNT OF RUSTIC TORTURE WEAPONRY that you’ve won as TROPHIES and you spend a significant amount of time attempting to FIGURE OUT HOW THEY FUNCTION IN COMBAT.
You keep a rather unsteady relationship with the majority of the group you’re stuck in. With the exception of the ONE AND ONLY PERSON WHO CAN SOMEHOW MAGICALLY PACIFY YOU AND YOUR SEETHING DISPOSITION.
Your trolltag is perniciousOverkill and you speak in a manner ~+ha+ is way +oo abrasive for i+s own good.~
What will you do?
"Enter name. "
Enter name? That’s one real fucking gag you’ve got going. You must have a very active imagination.
Better knock off having one of those before you’re Nelsoned so fully that you don’t know if your body has contorted into salted twisty bread or if your limbs have always been this unattached.
"Stop being the blue guy. "
You stop being the blue guy just soon enough to become this purple girl.
Bailing out isn’t an option. You’ve already impeded on this troll’s parade ground and now you’re stuck here more than you would be if you were placed in a thousand sweep choke-hold.
Just bring it, chucklefucker.
"Be the blue guy. "
You start to be the blue guy.
You aren't getting up any time soon, not after that.
Perhaps it's best we move along.
“Take this kiss upon the brow! And, in parting from you now, Thus much let me avow— you are not wrong, who deem that my days have been a dream; yet if hope has flown away, in a night, or in a day, in a vision, or in none, is it therefore the less gone? All that we see or seem, is but a dream within a dream.” – Does it matter.
The world turns, slow yet infinite. Time runs along in tandem, though never seems to bring anything concrete with its consistent aging process. Day by day, night by night, moments begin to replay and blur in your mind. Banshees wail in the distance, expressing their distress at the ill intent midnight drags with its inevitable presence. Black and white moons luminating the torment seared into their hearts and minds.
Fate seems to linger, regardless of the significance or happenstance. Life wasn’t always like this, but part of you wishes that it was. The burden would be much easier to bear. Another part of you begs on hand and knee for the old life you once knew, the one you constantly feel still exists. You’re not sure if you yearn for it because you want to relive the moments you’ve lost, or if you just want causality to stop breathing down your neck. Wishes don’t solve problems, and wanting them only makes the dilemma more prevalent.
Change comes seldom for you. Perhaps this will be the evening when you finally gather the motivation to take a step forward and find the adjustments you’ve been looking for.
A lone thought sticks in your mind in spite of this, in regards to the concept of your life and the monotony it shares with the world surrounding you.
You have a feeling that it’s never going to happen.
You just want
Where are you?! Come out wherever you are! Olly olly get in plain sight!
You don’t care if they’re here with the intent on maiming or rocky assassination attempts anymore! You just want to know what is going on!!
No, that isn’t right! Disappearing like they did isn't feasible!
It doesn’t work that way!
There is nothing there.
This is going against your better instincts, but the curiosity is simply maddening. Feeling okay with balling up under your desk won’t be satisfying if there are no threatening ends to your hiding means.
Plus, the plinkster couldn't just disappear like that... right?
"Arcjec: Answer Troll."
--animatedHumorist [AH] isn't here. He isn't. He's gone and it says to not bother him right by his name, the red dot whatchamacallit. You know the one? Of course you do, and you message him anyways. What is wrong with you?--
WA: I know you're there-
WA: You like literally never go anywhere-
WA: At all-
WA: Gunna run out of breath psting you-
WA: There I go-
WA: Come on-
WA: I got a real important question for you-
WA: You can't just do me like this-
AH: XDXD I'm pretty sure I not only can do that to you, but pretty much almost always do that to you. XDXD
WA: Oh good- there you are-
WA: I was starting to get as sad as you normally sound-
AH: XDXD I think my text will continue to speak for itself here, do me a favor and imagine an absurdly dragged out and coarse voice for this situation. XDXD
AH: XDXD That voice will be me. XDXD
AH: XDXD Now imagine that same voice over my words, and then imagine as soon as you're done with that, that this same rasp is much less streamlined, and that my stress center is about a hearty throb away from blowing off into your general direction and promptly thwapping your face with a load of general common sense as this sentence runs through your blank canvas of a mind with this next sentence. XDXD
AH: XDXD Ahem. XDXD
AH: XDXD Leave me alone, I'm about to die and I don't want my final memories to be of your short spoken minimalist lung detritus. XDXD
WA: Okay but-
WA: What about my important question-?
WA: Because I mean- it’s pretty important-
AH: XDXD It falls in line with short spoken minimalist lung detritus. XDXD
AH: XDXD Maybe with a little more phlegm and a rugged cough to go with it? XDXD
AH: XDXD Who knows, with you there are infinite possibilities! XDXD
AH: XDXD Which is to say there are sparingly few and you're as one-dimensional as they come. XDXD
AH: XDXD Take a lesson in character before you decide to say something that's supposedly important to the big things you're playing up. XDXD
WA: Yeah alright drama-squirt that's great and all-
WA: But Arcjec-
AH: XDXD What. XDXD
AH: XDXD What. XDXD
AH: XDXD WHAT. XDXD
WA: Me and UK need an extra player in our game-
WA: You should play with us-
AH: XDXD That wasn’t a question, that was a statement. XDXD
AH: XDXD Also, what game? XDXD
WA: What other game would I be talking about-
AH: XDXD That polygonal mess of- XDXD
AH: XDXD Ugh. XDXD
AH: XDXD Okay, here's the thing. XDXD
AH: XDXD I'm not going to join you and also I don't care about you wasting YOUR time because I'm placing MY time and MY worries into my life and how it is about to get tragically cut short. XDXD
AH: XDXD By the way, the ONLY and I mean ONLY reason I even thought to give you anywhere near this long of a response instead of a curt howdy fuck off is because I need someone to bear witness to this. XDXD
WA: Oh are you serious-?
AH: XDXD I would say I'm dead serious but I'd be way too right for my own good. XDXD
WA: I thought you were just being your usual- Over-the-top self-
WA: The typical pain and suffering- Y'know-
WA: But if you're actually totally honestly serious- you should tell me what's going on-
WA: I may live in the dark- but that doesn't mean I like being left in it-
AH: XDXD I don't even know, there was a foreboding death cloaked figure who threw a sediment nugget at my window and I saw them for the span of a nanoblink before they were gone. XDXD
AH: XDXD I was trying to be professional and hide under my desk until you decided to be the obtuse disturber that you are. XDXD
AH: XDXD Part of my splattered life pigment is going to be on your hands now, and I swear if they're adhesive coated that it's going to become acidic. XDXD
WA: Well- If I don't hear from you again soon I'll go ahead and assume you're dead-
WA: And I'll be sure to come by and collect your body if it's still there-
WA: Make something nice out of it-
WA: No guarantees though-
WA: If whoever's chasing you wants something with your corpse- I can't really help you-
AH: XDXD Perfect, that's the most perfect thing you have ever said to me. XDXD
AH: XDXD Do me a favor though. XDXD
AH: XDXD I know for a fact that it's not PO but if I do disappear into obscurity, tell her that the mutilation fairy finally granted her long awaited wish. XDXD
AH: XDXD But I'm leaving you now regardless. XDXD
AH: XDXD Bye. XDXD
WA: But one more thing-
WA: Real fast-
WA: Do you have any glue-?
AH: XDXD No, and if you knocked off the rolling around in it, then you might get to keep some handy. XDXD
--animatedHumorist [AH] gave up trolling windlessArtificer [WA]--
"Examine Computer. "
Before you answer, you take a short moment to move the junk off of your desk to grab your keyboard and examine your COMPUTER. You spend many lifeless hours sitting here and doing nothing. It is actually pretty great, until something happens and it isn’t.
Much like the rest of your spaces, you keep your random folders containing a lot of OLD PICTURES and FILES around wherever. You make sure to cover the screen so that you don't ever have to SEE THEM. This also doesn’t help with the fact that over your sweeps of not caring to safely browse for objects you have accumulated a number of NASTY VIRUSES. You get FAKE ADVERTISEMENTS FOR PRODUCTS YOU DIDN’T WIN on a near constant basis.
The SKORPE chat client is open; it’s the new standard in conversation technology until the next thing comes. The entire system is laden with its fix of complicated strings consisting of broken code walls and a completely whack update schedule that doesn’t seem to do anything one way or the other.
The draw is that even for being clunky it is rather CUSTOMIZABLE towards the users intents. It allows variations on ONLINE STATUS. CLOYING, FORSTRAUGHT, CALCITRANT and INCOGNIZABLE are the four regular settings, but there is an array of more abnormal emotion like settings if you’re really into sticking out from the already obtrusive crowd.
Each SKORPE messenger is also able to decorate the program with various ALLITERATIVE THEMES. Each one relating to a number of varying colors, fonts and hobbies, even ones that are obscure and you would think wouldn’t exist or be chosen, it’s there. But seeing as you have none of these, you keep the built in ‘SYSTEMATIC STOCK’ theme.
You are set on CALCINTRANT at ALL TIMES, and have the system set so that you aren’t forced to hear the unruly din of a ping with each message, as well as delivering a bluntly professional note to any and all parties who attempt contact with you.
Though, as always, that doesn’t deter this one from chatting it up with you, or any of the other ones for that matter. This was a fact mentioned earlier.
This is one of the better times to give in, as this will be your last chance at giving a good impression on the grounds of social interaction.
Only it won’t be.
Oh, so close.
Phase one was complete, screaming and running around anxiously. The only logical start to any brilliant plan.
Phase two, the final phase, WAS going to be hiding for several hours and pretending as if you are already dead. This is an act you can ACTUALLY PUT ON, but at this point it's not needed. You're feeling dead enough as is without giving into the whims of zany spur of the moment ideas.
Plus, it appears that one of your pesky chat fodder buddies has been patiently lying in the wait for a response you were elated to not have to give.
There isn't anything stopping you from keeping silent, but as we've seen, things only get worse when nothing is happening.
Given that your untimely demise is now suddenly imminent, you suppose it wouldn't hurt to have someone attempt to remember you fondly, could it?
Even if it has to be THIS windbag.
After a very thorough and intricate peek at the scene you’ve come to the conclusion that the plink very much means death.
"Arcjec: Investigate plink."
And just what could that be? Whatever it is, it totally almost turned off your inner monologue. Can you believe the nerve of some trolls out there? I mean, seriously what is up with this society? They think they can just do whatever they— Okay, monologue restored, you can go investigate now.
"SOMETHING INTERESTING: HAPPEN?"
It's really nothing worth looking at.
There's no need to go back there.
You have effectively shown it who runs things around here. It should know better than to try to challenge you, but you are aware that it'll always stay pinned there, staring at you, awaiting the next battle, prepared time and time again, certain of its defeat but triumphant and persistent enough that it thinks it'll get past you without so much as one more dart in its ugly mug. In a specific kind of way though, you feel it always has some form of victory over you each time you two duel; a shallow yet painful victory. It holds the pleasure of having already beaten you, but it is too modest to let you know.
Not that you actually took the time to throw anything, that was all in your imagination.
SHOW IT WHO RUNS THINGS AROUND HERE.
You then begin to slowly rotate your head to look at the appalling printed out box on your dart board. Where should you even begin with this abhorrent monstrosity that some would dare to call "food." No, that's a large understatement, a detestably enormous understatement. Vast, even.
Usually, food can at least be choked down, even if its disgusting and slimy. Your species has an affinity for that sort of consistency in the first place. But if you tried to eat one of LUNCHABLES MINI BURGERS or PIZZA AND TREATZA or whatever, there would be vomit on the ground. It would be incomprehensible how much vomit there actually was on the ground. You would barf out every single last organ you have lying inside you.
You're getting tired of looking at that picture of it on the dart board. It's not tired of looking at you though, it never is.
You're going to just have to...
Hahahaha, not going to happen. You can't believe you even THOUGHT about that. Despite how "fun" it may actually end up being, you can't afford to be silly right now.
Meandering around your block looking at all of your old junk is obviously much more important than your own entertainment!
"Arcjec: Look at posters."
You used to think that these two were some of the biggest badasses who have ever not lived. Troll Batman and Troll Deadpool were YOUR TWO FAVORITES BACK WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER.
You haven't read any sort of issue from either one of their series in a VERY LONG TIME. Around two or so sweeps back to be precise. You always used to fantasize about how great it would be to have a power or special array of technology as great as theirs. It was really not a well planned aspiration, and it could never happen, because this is real life and that's not how things work in the real world, which harbors real life.
Though while you gaze at their tightly suited splendor, you begin to once again wonder what things would be like if you somehow acquired the power to always miraculously live if you were brutally murdered, or maybe even fly! But that's all in the past now.
Why you still keep these up you have no clue.
If you're referring to all the cans of CODE RED then you would be completely mistaken about them being trash.
If there were levels of how insanely wrong you are about the soda, you'd be on the highest level of wrong. You're wrong in every sense of the definition, of which there are many. You are wrong so many times.
The ones laying down have been haphazardly tossed back as you finished them, the ones standing up are finished too, actually. But you did leave a couple that have been marinating there for awhile near your desk, in case of some sort of hurried caffeinated emergency.
The balls of paper might be trash though, you'll maybe pick them up when you feel like it.
Your name is ARCJEC VOORAT. As previously mentioned, it is your wriggling day. It's not like it's really something that you feel needs to be celebrated, and everyone knows that already. Nobody celebrates their wriggling day because it brings across too many shattered memories for anyone to bear most of the time. Despite that, you know there is always a remote possibility that SOMEONE could have the distasteful intention of bringing it up in conversation as if it IS a good thing. That's not very common at all, but you still never know.
Unlike most trolls your age, or even trolls of an earlier age, you DON'T HAVE A LARGE AMOUNT OF HOBBIES, because not every troll around can end up being some sort of prodigy. Not to mention, the few things you ARE interested in aren't exactly considered productive means of time usage. You could even say you're quite LAZY most of the time.
In the past you liked READING STORIES OF MASKED VIGILANTES and WATCHING COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF 2D FICTION. This used to lead to some SCRIBBLING, but you really AREN'T ALL THAT INTERESTED IN DOING THOSE THINGS ANYMORE FOR UNSPECIFIED REASONS. You also enjoy drinking MOUNTAIN DEW: CODE RED quite frequently. In fact you enjoy it so much that you might be able to label it as an ADDICTION. You don't exactly take much part in talking to your eleven other friends on the NEW CHAT SYSTEM, SKORPE. Even though THEY TAKE PART IN TALKING TO YOU CONSTANTLY.
Yeah, there really isn't that much more to say about you.
Your troll tag is animatedHumorist and while your screen-name and quirk are sort of... really awkward now, you've left it alone. XDXD It also manages to be hypocritical, considering the fact that you speak in a rather serious tone most of the time. XDXD
Right now you have nothing you really need to be doing, but what else is new? You should probably start to do SOMETHING though, you're getting tired of just standing in this spot and blankly staring at the other side of the room.
So what will you do?
What do you know? He was completely right, in fact he was more than right. That was even WORSE than your original attempt, how is that even possible?
Lets just move on to identifying his real name before you embarrass yourself any further.
Yes, this is most certainly the greatest insult in the history of history. This guy congratulates you on how original you are in making an insult that is something even a wriggler's undeveloped think pan could easily conjure up in a matter of seconds.
Alright, this guy is allowing you one more chance to not ruin this, though he highly doubts the odds of said chances are in his favor.
This young troll stands in his respiteblock. It just so happens that today, the 22nd bilunar perigee of the 3rd dark season's equinox is the day of this indicated troll's larval awakening, also known as his wriggling day. A night that stands out in infamy among the rest of the litter, mainly just because of the fact that it really doesn't need to exist.
Though it was eight solar sweeps ago he was given life, and two sweeps ago he was given a name, he decides to let you type an effortless insult into one of those plates that appears when you attempt to name someone. He can just sense that the tips of your nubs are perspiring with the anticipation of such an idea. You both know you can't deny the appeal of this offer.
Go on and get it over with.