AlterniaFM
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28/01/15
"==>"

AAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAA AAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAA AAAAAAAAAAAA AAA WHY IS THIS HAPPENING????????????

28/01/15
"==>"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

28/01/15
"==>"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

05/01/15
"==>"

Game over.

05/01/15
"Jade: Look out! Turn around!"

What? What's with the urgent tone?

...Oh.

Oh.

Shit.

05/01/15
"==>"

Finally! You FINALLY have the discs! God, it feels like you've been waiting for this moment for years, even though its release was only announced last April. That's how time works sometimes, you guess. He's a lazy thing who makes the bad drag on and cuts the good short.

Tonight is going to be so great.

05/01/15
"==>"

May as well just hop to the finale, then.

With the utmost finesse, you mime DISC, which apparently involves throwing yourself on the floor like some kind of loon.

The modus decides it's seen enough.

05/01/15
"==>"

Sounds like MOUSE.

Your interpretation of a mouse is as equally unsuccessful as your attempt to make the card recognise the earlier house.

But that's probably for the best, you find yourself thinking. There are many games in your house, and a house is a house. Were you asking for a game about a house? Or a house filled with games? Or a bunch of games acting as a house for some unfortunate soul? Could you accidentally end up captchaloguing your house instead of the Sburb Betas?

This is stupid.

05/01/15
"==>"

With GAME out of the way, you decide to try and mime HOUSE. There IS a house on one of the game cards, after all. And you guess the game has something to do with houses too?

Apparently, the modus becomes confused at your flawless miming skills. Maybe it needs more information, even though its completely clear what it is that you want to captchalogue.

...Okay, maybe your house was just kind of shitty.
Like this modus.

05/01/15
"==>"

Simple and strong is a good way to begin.

You make the sign for GAME by twiddling your thumbs as if you were pressing buttons.

The modus encourages you to continue.

05/01/15
"Jade: Utilise inventory system."

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S START!!

04/03/14
"Jade: Pick up those betas."

You’ve got this one ALL figured out.

04/03/14
"Jade: Check out your Sylladex setting."

Ah yes, the Charades Modus. Absolutely useless for nabbing things in a flash, but incredibly fun in so many ways. The basic jist of this setting involves acting out the object you'd like to captchalogue, be it pretending to be the object itself, or dropping in visual hints in the traditional charades manner.

It's simple, really.
Nothing worth more than a few lines of explanation.

04/03/14
"Rose: Check doll with blonde hair and blue eyes for any symbols"

The viewport attempts to switch back to a certain Rose Harley, but fails in doing so. Seems like the peeping port hasn't yet recovered from its recent crash; it's still boasting that blue screen as though it were something to be proud of.

Our story won't be going anywhere in that direction without a full system reboot.

04/03/14
"==>"

There they sit, both Server and Client, located tauntingly in the watering hole of the Lalonde household.
The kitchen is the one place where the two of you are more likely to cross paths than anywhere else, and both mother and daughter know this. As of such, your mother likes to hang around here, while you try to avoid it like the plague. After all, a girl needs some time to herself sometimes.

Your mother certainly is a coy one, using the Betas to lure you out of your room.

04/03/14
"==>"

04/03/14
"==>"

...And you think you know where they are.

13/07/13
"==>"

You exit your bedroom, albeit reluctantly.

You're going to have to stay quiet if you want to avoid your mother. But there's little doubt that she's placed the Betas somewhere to your strategic disadvantage.

13/07/13
"Jade: Get discs"

...Such as locating the Betas, no doubt hidden somewhere in the mail.

You’ve put this off long enough. If you’re going to play this game with your friends, then it’s time you whipped yourself into action. Whether you like it or not, locating these discs involves leaving your bedroom; which unfortunately means you run the risk of finding not only the game, but a drunken broad as well.

It’s a shame. You were really hoping you could avoid a confrontation today of all days.

You’re busy trying to do something for yourself, for once.

13/07/13
"Jade: Look out your window before you do anything else"

There’s nothing worth noting out here, save for a clouded night sky.

You’re not sure why you’re wasting your time gazing out the window. You have more important things to be doing...

13/07/13
"Jade: Pester Rose about the missing discs"


GG: if it will make you feel better then ill leave rose a quick message to see if she can make sense of this
GG: she might fill me in on the prank because we're best friends and then i can sneakily tell you >:P
GG: i normally wouldnt because of girl rules but i think this can be an exception!!!!

TG: dont bother shes not responding to me so she probs wont talk to you either

-- galantyGrievance [GG] began pestering tallyhoTrigger [TT] at 19:29 --

GG: rose? rose, are you there?
GG: id like to speak to you. just for a moment!
GG: it wont take long i can assure you of that
GG: rose.....?


GG: no response
TG: called it
GG: oh!!! i forgot! im sorry but ill need to go for a few minutes!!!! i totally forgot to get my copies of the beta! :o
TG: you mean you dont have them already
GG: i do!! i just dont have them in front of me. i still need to pick them up from the mail pile
GG: i didnt do it earlier because ive been trying to avoid a confrontation with my mother all day, which is almost certain to happen anyway
GG: i love her but she can be reeeeeeally overwhelming to be around!! and i want to have this day to myself so that i can play sburb with my best friends :)
GG: but i think its time i braved the wilderness of the lalonde house!
GG: ill be back soon tg!

TG: k
TG: good luck avoiding your mom
TG: and you know
TG: learning to believe me about the dog thing which i still think is at least seven point five hats out of ten levels of plausible

GG: <3

-- galantyGrievance [GG] ceased pestering teenagedGeekstar [TG] at 19:37 --
-- galantyGrievance [GG] ceased pestering tallyhoTrigger [TT] at 19:37 --

13/07/13
"==>"



GG: she is really likely lying about the dog thing to be cheeky! rose likes to do things like that! and the rest are just outlandish coincidences youre trying to justify! :o
GG: i am gonna humour you for a sec and ask if she took your copies as well as hers?

TG: nah i still have mine at least
TG: theyre chilling on my desk and stinking up the place with anticipation

GG: sooooooo that means that you can play with us right??
TG: yes
TG: no
TG: yes?
TG: yeah i can

GG: and do you know for sure that rose has a copy of the discs, yours or not?
TG: well no
TG: but probably
TG: i dont fucking know

GG: well you can always send her the game files over pesterchum if she turns out to be pulling your leg! which she totally is, hehe! so stop worrying about it :P

25/06/13
"==>"


TG: so ok the point of this conversation is
TG: and hear me out
TG: the magic dog thing?
TG: maybe not a load of shit after all
TG: yeah yeah laugh it up at tg actually considering that something hella fishy is going down and roses claims might have some semblance of truth
TG: because i dont know about you but i sure as hell cant think of a better explanation behind what the fuck just happened
TG: she says that thing can teleport and stuff so what if it actually got into my room and took the discs
TG: what if its done this before with some of my other shit
TG: if i catch that dog stealing my stuff i will just take that fucking devilbeast out behind the woodshed and blow its head off
TG: except not because rose loves that dog

GG: ok. two things!
GG: first, magic dogs are not possible!! i think you are looking for an explanation in the wrong place!!! i mean thats not something that is even worth thinking about?? lol
GG: its a physics thing :)
GG: secondly
GG: did you consider that your dad took them?

TG: i thought about that for a second but i dont think thats plausible
GG: but a magic dog is????????????
TG: youre right that sounded dumb as fuck holy shit
TG: but you dont understand
TG: it would actually explain a lot of weird things with her

25/06/13
"==>"


GG: okay, calm down
GG: tell me what happened. but do it slowly!

TG: jade
GG: stop that!!!
TG: sorry
TG: okay alright you know how i bought rose those copies of the sburb b. and all and she didnt want me to send them to her yet for some godforsaken reason
TG: and how i was supposed to buy a copy for john too for his bday because hes poor as fuck
TG: but then he got pissed at that
TG: i mean i got one for rose too so why not get one for him its not like my dad cant afford it
TG: he didnt have to get defensive about it jeez i was just trying to be nice put your goddamn sass back in your pouty mouth
TG: so i was talking to rose and she was being all weird and cryptic with more of her stupid and probably convoluted plans right?
TG: then shes not weird OR cryptic because shes too busy being silent and ominous and all that crazy ridiculous rose shit
TG: next thing i know shes messaging me saying shes got her hands on the betas i bought her
TG: and i turn around
TG: and theyre gone

GG: gone?
TG: gone
GG: what do you mean by gone??
TG: gone as in not there anymore
TG: gone as in so far away from the place that theyre supposed to be that its flipped past being a crime and smacked ass first into the felony category
TG: gone as in they left their post jade
TG: just poofed away like mary poppins after a job well done
TG: theyve gone afk
TG: awol
TG: mia

GG: i get the idea! :I
TG: k

25/06/13
"Jade: Answer chum"

-- teenagedGeekstar [TG] began pestering galantyGrievance [GG] at 19:22 --

TG: jade
TG: jade
TG: jade
TG: jdae
TG: jade
TG: roser took my betas
TG: jaed
TG: im freaking tout
TG: jade rose has th e betsa i dont know who she got threm
TG: gkfjs kg l jdflsgjkhl ;fh;l gfj;hkl hgsfdk salfm
TG: jade

GG: yes? :o
TG: jade
TG: jade

GG: yes?
TG: jade
GG: yes
TG: jade
GG: yes
TG: jade
GG: yes???????
TG: jade
GG: >:|
TG: sorry

25/06/13
"Jade: Check to see if your chums are online"

Looks like they’ve already found you.

24/06/13
"Jade: Throw 8-ball at mummy"

24/06/13
"Jade: Update your dream journal"

4/13/09
"el'dorado"

i saw the city again
the city that wears gold
its like a vanishing woman who hides beneath a bonnet of perfect straw (good analogy! remember it)
every time i catch a glance of her and her features, she so quickly hides them from me

this time
i saw john
id seen this citys sights many times in brief passing but never had i caught john
it was strange and i dont know why i saw him, but he was there in my dream
he wore similar clothing to me. a gold pallete in his clothes

this really is the city of gold :)

the clouds were thick as usual, but they were nowhere near as high
they were so close i felt that if i tried i could reach up and touch them, so close that i was even sure id seen reflections in them

this is the fifth time ive dreamed of 'el' dorado', and its always so vague
but this time it felt real
very real

as i floated along through those golden spires in a gown of a similar elegance i couldnt help but feel as if i was awake. maybe that i had roused from one reality into another.

the city of gold in that dream offered me a glimpse of john
a dozen clouds close overhead
and a strange lucidity

i wonder what it means? :o

22/06/13
"Pillow: Level up for eduring the hit"

The pillow doesn’t really rise anywhere, since even it can realise that was a bit weak. An 8-ball? Really? That’s it? Child’s play.
It crawls ever so slightly up its ECHELADDER to a new rung: BEDDY-BYE BUFFER.

22/06/13
"Jade: Throw your 8-ball at a pillow"

22/06/13
"Is that a Magic 8-ball?"

Yes it is.

21/06/13
"==>"

Too bad your Abstratus is already set to Ballkind.

21/06/13
"Jade: Allocate flowers to Strife Specibus"

You allocate the flowers to your Strife Deck, granting you the ungodly ability to wield all that is flowery and green as a weapon. No longer are flowers simply a decorative item, made to spruce up the livelihood of a particularly gloomy room. No longer are they merely a gift given when all other ideas have failed. You will give these flowers meaning and purpose, wielding them like the violent, vengeful victims of a childish plucking hand that they are. Rather than only marking the graves of the fallen, they will finally realise their true potential and spill the blood themselves.

Blood lusting. Violent. Destined to avenge their kind.
These are the fates of your flowers.

21/06/13
"Jade: Softly inform readers about your coloured reminders"

Careful there, friend. Let’s not make Jade self-aware of any readers and Walls of the Fourth variety.

You wonder why you thought that statement, but quickly brush it off by conveniently forgetting that even just happened. What sentence? What Fourth Walls? You haven’t a single clue. But that does bring you nicely to why you have these reminders. You have a terrible habit of forgetting things, and so you’ve taken to wearing these bands when you have something you want to remember. The blue band on your right index finger reminds you that today is dear John’s birthday, while the blue band on your left index reminds you that he’s still a prick.

These reminders are highly functional and fabulous for giving your memory a bit of a jog. But sometimes you forget what the bands mean, rendering them completely useless and decorative.

21/06/13
"Jade: Examine Wicked poster"

You’re going to be honest here; you haven’t actually seen the musical. You were supposed to, but you can thank your drunken mother for causing you to miss the performance. The two of you had tickets and everything, but on the afternoon of the performance your mother drunk herself into a particularly awful stupor. No matter how you tried to remind her that the musical was that night, she simply refused to believe you. And with no way to get there yourself, you were forced to remain at home, hiding passive-aggressively from your mother for as long as her mistake went unnoticed. She realised she was wrong the next night after her hangover wore off, but it was already too late by then.

She got you this poster as an apology.
But its really not the same.

20/06/13
"==>"

“May God have mercy on his soul.” ( Shakespeare. Probably. )

20/06/13
"==>"

20/06/13
"Jade: Ponder why you have a mummy wearing a cool hat in your room"

It’s a present you got from your pal, Rose Harley, for your birthday some four months back. That girl has the weirdest affinity for handing out large, elaborate and cumbersome gifts to all her friends, and you were no exception. On the morning of your thirteenth year, you found this abomination sitting in the middle of some purple wrapping paper along with a birthday card. It startled your mother, causing her to spill her red wine all over her dress, and it’s been (begrudgingly) kept in your room ever since in case you scare her more with it.

Apparently, another of your friends received something equally silly for his birthday a few days later- a stuffed knight in a suit.
It bothers him just as much as this mummy bothers you.

If the trend continues, John’s probably going to get something like this today, too.

20/06/13
"What's that thing on the wall by the pillows?"

19/06/13
"==>"

It wouldn't matter anyhow; none of your plants stay alive for long. You get the inkling that your mother likes to try to help when you're not around by giving them a good watering.

With vodka.

19/06/13
"Jade: Fertilize your plants while reciting a line from Hamlet"

Oh, gross, no. You wouldn't dream of fertilising your plants in your bedroom. You did that once, and you couldn't get the stench out for a good week.

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks" ( Hamlet: Act III, Scene II )

19/06/13
"Jade: Get out of bed"

Alright, well, that one was essentially a no-brainer.

19/06/13
"Examine room"

Your name is JADE LALONDE, and you've just woken from an unsatisfying nap. While WEIRD DREAMS ARE NO NEW OCCURRENCE TO YOU, you can't help but feel startled by how real this one seemed. Conveniently, this brings us to your variety of interests. You enjoy ANALYSING AND INTERPRETING DREAMS, searching for any hidden meanings there may be and writing them down. You MAY OR MAY NOT BE PRACTICING THE ART OF LUCID DREAMING, a concept which both interests and befuddles you greatly, but you're determined to get it right. You have a PASSION FOR THE SCIENCES, though you don't really get the chance to explore the interest, and are also relatively fond of ANTHROPOMORPHIC FAUNA. As well as this, you also have a soft spot for HORTICULTURE and have grown all the plants currently in your bedroom; two pots of flowers, and one dead rose.

Whoops.

Another interest of noting lies in the area of THEATRE. Movies are nice, but nothing can match the charm of a good stage production in your opinion. Plays are where it's at, and one day you'd like to join the crew gallivanting around the stage reciting well practiced lines in fantastic costumes.

To expand further, you have a COMPLETE AND UTTER TEENAGE CRUSH ON SHAKESPEARE, and dear GOD do you love his plays to bits. Most children your age cringe at the thought of his name. But not you, that's for sure!

What will you do?

17/06/13
"Enter name"

Rise and shine, sleeping beauty.

17/06/13
"==>"

“Out, out, brief candle! Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.”

— Renowned Humanitarian: Ke$ha

17/06/13
"Enter name"

Oh for pete’s sake- we don’t have time for this horseshit! Just hurry up and give the lass a proper name already.

17/06/13
"==>"

16/06/13
"==>"

What will the name of this young lady be?

16/06/13
"==>"

A young lady orbits a strange planet, her mind clouded by sleep and a sense of bemusement. Nothing feels quite right, but at the same moment, the world seems as real as the hairs on her head. As though caught in a dream and suspended in a state between waking and sleeping, she finds herself staring at a sight as mysterious as her identity.

15/06/13
"==>"

15/06/13
"==>"

15/06/13
"???: Dream"

15/06/13
"==>"

It's been a long time.

15/06/13
"==>"

Well shit...

15/06/13
"==>"

15/06/13
"==>"

14/06/13
"???: Get on with it"

14/06/13
"==>"

Alright, whatever, let’s just get on with something else.

Or something.

I guess.

14/06/13
"==>"

This has got to be someone’s idea of a joke.

14/06/13
"==>"

14/06/13
"==>"

GOD DAMMIT THIS IS THE SECOND TIME.

14/06/13
"==>"

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS PIECE OF CRAP?

14/06/13
"==>"

In a totally shocking and unexpected twist of events, it turns out that your Grandpa is, always has been, and most definitely always will be (what the fuck screen) alive. You don't understand why he wouldn't be alive, to be honest. It's not like he was ever in danger of being shot, or that there was some kind of big secret conspiracy where an alien (fuck what is even happening) was to be the indirect cause of his death. Because that's just silly and alright this thing is glitching beyond all recognition and it's starting to get annoying no seriously how do you fix it you need to OH YOU'VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN.

14/06/13
"==>"

Hey Grandpa...

14/06/13
"==>"

16/02/13
"==>"

16/02/13
"==>"

16/02/13
"==>"

16/02/13
"Rose: Check on your grandfather"

Better go find out!

16/02/13
"==>"

If Bec is bringing this to you, then it means Grandpa is in need of assistance.

You wonder what he could want...

16/02/13
"Rose: Check to see what's in his mouth"

It’s a handkerchief! And not just any handkerchief- it’s one of many that your Grandfather carries around. Like a gun, a proper individual can never be caught without one of these polite swatches of fabric too far from sight. For a Harley without a kerchief is hardly a Harley at all!
Or so your Grandfather would say.

But it’s also much more than a handkerchief carried in the mouth of a beloved canine that is going to be treated with three steaks tonight.

It’s a signal.

16/02/13
"==>"

Try as you might, you can’t stay mad at this little rascal. Your harsh and scolding tone quickly transitions to croons of love and praise. Your hands fall from the air, only to wrap around his fluffy body and snuggle him nice and close.

You apologise, and revoke your punishment of only one juicy steak.
He can have as many steaks as his little doggy heart desires.

16/02/13
"==>"

Bec isn’t phased in the slightest.

16/02/13
"Rose: Scold Bec for scaring you like that "

Bad dog! Very bad dog!
How many times have I told you? No sudden magical teleporting around the direct proximity of people! No! When will you learn?!

Only one irradiated steak for dinner tonight!

Bad!

16/02/13
"==>"

It seems that all this idle activity has done a grand total of nothing to quell the excitement stirring in your gut. Perhaps you'll have to observe more things. Maybe you could read a book, or throw possessions of the more cuddly kind around. You could scamper on back to the ocean, or return online and talk to some friends, or go explOH GOD HOLY SHIT GODDAMMIT BEC!!!

16/02/13
"==>"

...But at least you feel incredibly stylish.

16/02/13
"Rose: Try on swimsuit"

You change into your swimming costume which, ironically, is your only set of dry clothes right now.
Thinking about it, that's actually really dumb...

16/02/13
"Rose: Examine clothes on floor"

These are your swimmers. And as swimmers, they are a necessary part of every swimming expedition.

Well. Almost every one.

On some days, much like today, the warm air combined with the glistening water becomes too inviting, and impatience gets the better of you. You decide to deal with the consequences later, and hurry on into the water to enjoy the here and now.

But on other days, your dog decides to be a little shit and throws you in the ocean, shoes and all.

16/02/13
"==>"

You have a feeling it's going to be a good day.

16/02/13
"==>"

It's a breathtaking view that anyone would be lucky to experience, and you have it just outside your window. The ocean rolls softly, whispering for gentle waves to break against the shoreline with a musical encouragement. You can smell the fresh air, the salty spray on the breeze, and it's a tang that has been present your entire life. The sky is a perfect cerulean where blue meets blue, and you have never seen prettier colours than those of where the sea caresses the sky.

But the fascinating view reminds you of how small you are. Tiny and trepidated, you are a young woman standing alone in her bedroom with no friends to be seen. Sure, you have Bec and Grandpa. Sure, you love the carefree style of an island life. But sometimes you like to humour the idea of living somewhere more urbanised. You'd hate it for sure, but the prospect of real physical friends is soothing.

A breeze blows softly, as if to graze a quiet apology over your face. The warm air that kisses your cheek is a comfort, and you close your eyes to appreciate it for that moment. At once you forget your woes, and remember instead the beauty of your life rather than the desolation.
Despite your complaints, you count yourself fortunate for being able to wake up to this every morning.

16/02/13
"Rose: Fondly regard view from window"

You hop on over to the window and cast a glance out...

16/02/13
"Rose: Examine stuffed dragon"

Say hello to your favourite doll, Lucille Pendragon da Ehrina. She's your favourite of all the stuffed companions lying around, so she gets a special spot at the foot of your bed.
She's really cool for a plush dragon, and potentially the best somewhat-imaginary friend and reading partner you could have asked for.

Sometimes, when you feel lonely, you pull her up to the top of the bed and fall asleep in her stuffed embrace.
Bec isn't always around, after all.

16/02/13
"Rose: Check out drawing on bookcase"

Sometimes you like to engage in past-times of the slightly artistic variety. The term "slightly artistic" here is being used in the degrading sense. You're really not a very good artist, as much as you like to think you are. But that doesn't stop you from the occasional bored doodle every now and again.

This is clearly a highly accurate artistic representation of you and one of your good friends, John Strider. You've drawn yourself as a grubby rogue-ish character, street-bound and sleazy. And it's captured perfectly in the lopsided, uneven scale of your eyes. John, on the other hand, wanted to be some kind of strong figure- a sword-wielding knight. Or a samurai. Or a paladin. Or a sword-wielding samupaladin of the night.

But that sounded lame, so you just drew him as a mage.

16/02/13
"==>"

It really is a wonderful story. A brave Knight, who learns to rely and trust on his companions. An aspiring Heir who learns responsibility and holds the team together as a friend and a leader. And a wild girl with tangled black hair, whose only friends in her youth were loyal animals.

You just can't think of another story with these kinds of characters.

16/02/13
"==>"

...But this is, by far, one of your favourite book series of the lot. It's got everything! Dragons, knights, a scandal of princes and kings, a kickass supporting female, and a long-winded quest to an ultimate goal. Deltora Quest is a gem amongst the slightly-less-polished-but-still-incredibly-glossy gems in your bookcase, and you felt it fitting to immortalize your love of the series above your desk.

16/02/13
"==>"

You drop the young Mister Potter a little smooch, as if to thank him for all the pleasant, magical dreams of witchcraft and wizardry he's supplied you with over the years. But he's a bit too far up your wall, so you settle for just kissing the logo instead.

Dear, sweet Daniel Radcliffe.
You have no clue what a babe you'll grow up into.
<3

16/02/13
"Rose: Look at posters"

Like this one?

This is a poster of one hell of an amazing movie-slash-book; Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. God, you love wizards so much. They are seriously one of the most amazing things to you. Casting spells and stroking mystical beards while flying around on broomsticks. Seriously, what about wizards isn't great?

Spoiler: Absolutely nothing, that's what.

16/02/13
"Rose: Examine room to burn time"

Wow, where do you even start? Your room has so many things in it that you fondly regard as cool.

16/02/13
"==>"

How unbearably silly.

16/02/13
"Rose: Express enthusiasm via interpretive dance"

You hop off your bed, and indulge yourself in a silly jig that expresses nothing other than the fact that you are a massive dork.

16/02/13
"Rose: Play some dumb games on your laptop"

You just closed your computer in a strong and finalising manner! It would lose so much dramatic effect if you were to just reopen it now!
The inner author inside you screams in woe, and simply refuses to comply to the command.

What a stubborn brat.

16/02/13
"==>"

As mentioned before, your name is ROSE HARLEY, and your room is decorated with evidence of your numerous interests. Currently, despite how collected you seemed on Pesterchum, you're UTTERLY OVERJOYED. Because now you and your friends are one step closer to playing the game of a lifetime!

Truthfully, you were lying when you said you had other things to do. You only said that to increase suspense, and keep your good friend guessing. Messing with his head is a guilty pleasure of yours. He's just so easy to tease and dick with.

Aside from MARINATING IN THE AFTERGLOW OF YOUR OWN BADASSERY, all that's left is to wait for your friends to pull themselves together. Knowing them, though, they'll take their sweet time with it. As usual. They're not the fastest or most organised group, so you'll definitely have to do a bit of prodding in the right places.

It's a shame too. Your excitement is ripe now! You really don't feel like waiting for the others, but you have no choice. The show cannot go on without all four of you. You'll have to distract yourself until it's time to play.

What should you do now?

16/02/13
"==>"

16/02/13
"==>"


TT: I mean exactly what I said. I've relieved the Betas from your ownership, and I thank you for holding onto them for me thus far.
TG: youre kidding me jfc
TG: thats bs and you know it

TT: On the contrary. I'm as serious about this as one can get.
TT: I have no reason to lie to you.

TG: yeah you do youre like constantly dicking with me 24/7
TT: Well, if you're so sure that I am full of bs, then I suppose you'll have no problem with turning around and checking your floor.
TG: holy shit what the hey theyre gone
TG: theyre actually gone
TG: the betas are gone
TG: what the fuck rose

TT: ;)
TG: but i left them right there
TG: i put them down on the rug like right there

TT: ;)
TG: they should be there
TG: down there
TG: right now
TG: in the exact spot im looking
TG: how did you get them

TT: ;)
TG: i didnt move them i put them there because where else was i supposed to
TG: no way this is impossible

TT: ;)
TG: are you in cahoots with my dad rose is this some huge joke
TT: ;)
[color=#e00707]TG: stop winking at me holy shit

TT: As lovely as speaking with you is, I'm afraid I must take my leave. I cannot allow the enticing throes of the internet to play a role in distracting me. My attention is required in other matters of business, and it would be a sin to ignore my previous engagements in favour of lesser frivolities.
TT: In short
TT: You could say that there are cahoots that need cahooting.

TG: what no
TG: rose that sentence didnt even make sense throes cant be enticing

TT: Farewell, TG. I'll see you in an hour or so.
TG: wait no you cant leave me here with a curt cryptic bye
TG: dont go im so fucking confused


-- tallyhoTrigger [TT] ceased pestering teenagedGeekstar [TG] at 12:19 --

TG: rose please don
TG: gfdi

16/02/13
"==>"


TG: yknow im getting the feeling that by now youre just waiting for me to shut up
TG: and all this rambling which is SUPPOSED to be encouraging you to hurry the fuck up and tell me your idea
TG: is actually proving detrimental to my cause
TG: thats real frustrating
TG: so you know what i think im just gonna put a lid on it

TT: Got them.
TG: gonna let you get back to mwait what

16/02/13
"Rose: Ollie the fuck outie"


TG: okay rose im seriously getting bored of this tomfoolery youre pulling here
TG: where are you man weve got plans to make
TG: which is to say youve got a plan to share and ive got an ear to listen
TG: or an eye to read if were gonna get caught up on the semantics here
TG: which were not
TG: and you know why
TG: because thats dumb
TG: dumber than a sack of hammers
TG: a sack of hammers that just couldnt nail hammer school
TG: thats funny see what i did there
TG: nail because its a hammer and thats what hammers are used for
TG: hammering nails and junk
TG: hahah

16/02/13
"==>"


TG: everyones got their ticks and tocks and stuff and im not gonna get my metaphorical clock cleaning hairnet tangled over it

16/02/13
"==>"


TG: i guess that can be kind of annoying sometimes because i want to be in on the comprehending team
TG: but oh well
TG: w/e

16/02/13
"==>"


TG: actually i get the feeling that you guys as a whole know more than i do about a lot of things
TG: like hell fucking yes i know a lot but there are some secret rosey johnny dweeb things that were designed specifically to escape my comprehension

16/02/13
"Rose: Take Betas"


TG: thats pretty messed up rose i mean seriously
TG: youre stepping on my little boy dreams of being included here
TG: you had this big build up to your plan that okay so it wasnt that big but it was kind of creepy
TG: its like you had this secret underground to your words that was put there specifically to make me feel like i was in the loop but i was actually as far out of the loop as the laws of physics allow
TG: and then some

16/02/13
"==>"


TG: and im not actually allowed to be in on it after all



16/02/13
"==>"


TG: or is this some big secret conspiracy


16/02/13
"==>"


TG: are you gonna tell me the plan or not

16/02/13
"==>"


TG: rose

16/02/13
"Rose: Execute plan"


TG: ...

16/02/13
"Rose: Answer chum"


-- teenagedGeekstar [TG] began pestering tallyhoTrigger [TT] at 11:45 --

TG: rose
TG: hey rose are you there
TG: hi
TG: fuck i keep missing you
TG: the betas arrived today
TG: this is good news and youre not here to appreciate it
TG: rose oh my god where are you
TG: heeeeeeeeeey


-- teenagedGeekstar [TG] ceased pestering tallyhoTrigger [TT] at 12:06 --

-- tallyhoTrigger [TT] began pestering teenagedGeekstar [TG] at 12:13 --

TT: My apologies. I was out bathing by the ruins.
TG: oh sup
TG: wait
TG: again

TT: Yes?
TT: Is this really something so surprising? I didn't think it worthy of your confusion.
TT: You know I'm fond of the ocean, and have a penchant for swimming.

TG: i know that youre going to turn into a literal prune one of these days
TT: A well-exercised prune, maybe.
TG: you can put lipstick on a pig but its still a pig
TG: anyway i got the beats
TG: *betas

TT: Yes, I scrolled up just now and checked. Good work. You deserve a pat on the back, fellow modern aristocrat. The strings were in your fingers and you've proven your worth via a fulfilled promise. Truly, you are one to be lauded.
TT: Both of them?

TG: well i said betas and theres definitely an s jogging it up at the end
TG: which makes it the plural form of the singular 'beta'
TG: so yeah both of them
TG: alright so how am i getting these copies to you
TG: were all supposed to play together in a few hours but here i am with your copy and youre there marinating in seawater without it
TG: you know that makes it really fucking hard to execute the birthday plan right
TG: the plan involves us all playing together on johns bday and you sort of need the discs if youre going to go play a game. thats a crucial element to getting things done
TG: how long does it even take to ship stuff to an uncharted island anyway
TG: how long until were playing this inevitably belated birthday present
TG: how long are we keeping the birthday boy waiting and twiddling his thumbs
TG: when he finds out we cant play today its gonna be like he got shoved down a flight of stairs or something
TG: and he just keeps tumbling and it keeps happening over and over and boom suddenly hes unconscious in the hallway from sheer disappointment

TT: Trust me. Our dear John Strider won't be kept waiting long before all the pieces of our timetable come together. I know exactly what I'm doing.
TG: that sounded kind of ominous
TG: ominous with a chance of knowing
TG: am i missing something here rose

TT: No, not really.
TG: oh ok cool
TG: ...
TG: so rose whats the big plan

TT: You'll have to keep your eyes on the screen, or else run the risk of missing some vital information. Information that is an absolute prerequisite if the progression of events is to go as planned.
TG: ok?
TT: The plan is...

16/02/13
"Rose: Retrieve laptop"

You withdraw the ALP TOP [LAPTOP] from your Sylladex.

16/02/13
"==>"

Speaking of wonderful companions...

Your computer pings for your attention within the ANAGRAM modus. And lucky for you, it's pretty self-explanatory how this thing works. All you have to do is come up with an anagram for the item you want to take, in or out. And as long as the new word or phrase makes sense, you're good to go.

There's really not much to it.
Other than it can be stupidly fiddly at times.

16/02/13
"Rose: Examine dog"

This is Becquerel, or Bec for short. He's easily your closest companion, save for your Grandfather and your Internet friends. Of course, they're all your ONLY friends, but that's neither here or there.

He doesn't look it, but you're almost certain that he's very old. According to Grandpa, Bec's lived on this island for far longer than you or he have. That makes him, at a minimum, thirteen years old. Just like you.

Old or not, dog or not, he's still one of the best friends you could ever have asked for.

Great canine
Wonderful companion.

16/02/13
"Rose: Examine volcano"

The volcano has overlooked the island your entire life. It's never erupted in your lifetime, nor that of your Grandfather's, so it's got to be dormant.

The volcano is lined with deep crevices and chasms like it's been cracked and broken. It hardly looks healthy at all, if a volcano can really seem healthy in the first place. Grandpa doesn't like you going near it just in case you fall in and get stuck in the cracks, and neither does Bec. Just like with the Frog Temple, every time you get a little way up the volcano's side, Bec always appears and throws you some place else.
That dog never likes you going anywhere.

But it's just a volcano. It's not like it will ever prove significant in any way, shape or form.

16/02/13
"==>"

You've never seen them yourself though, because Bec never lets you get close enough to go inside. You've tried many things, such creeping up the stairs in the dead of night, but he somehow always knows.

The temple itself is actually pretty cool. You like exploring around it. And if you dive deep enough, then you can sometimes see the outlines of the spherical statues far below the surface.

16/02/13
"Rose: Examine Frog Temple"

This decrepit old thing?

To your Grandpa, it’s a sad sight to see. Apparently, it used to be a grand and imposing structure, but it’s done worse for wear over the years.
Once upon a time, there used to be large, spherical stone structures that sat on top of those pillars. You even saw one or two in your time. But the last one, brittle and fragile as it was, broke off and rolled into the water about five years ago.
But who's keeping track?

Apparently that statue on the very top is, in fact, a frog. Which makes sense, because it's the Frog Temple, and not something stupid like the Grandma's Undies Temple even though that would actually be pretty funny. But it must have been beheaded long before your grandfather settled here. In fact, the only reason you know that it's supposed to be a frog in the first place is thanks to the inscriptions deep inside the ruins, which mention something about a gallant frog.

16/02/13
"Rose: Evaluate self"

Your name is ROSE HARLEY, and you live on an UNCHARTED ISLAND IN THE PACIFIC with your DOG, and your GRANDFATHER. Far off the radar, the three of you live a positively SECLUDED LIFE. You've NEVER SEEN THE CITY, or any big residential establishment in person, but that's okay. You're sure that you'd prefer the rolling hills and the green grass to, say, an ORDERED CONSTRUCTION OF HIGH-RISE APARTMENTS.

You, like most bumbling children your age, have a number of interests. LITERATURE, both reading and writing, is your passion. If you're not out participating in another of your strong interests, SWIMMING, then you can often be found with your nose nestled against the pages of a book. You enjoy most genres and typically aren't fussed about what you read, though your favourite by far would have to be FANTASY NOVELS. Quests, dragons, royalty, wizards (God, you love wizards), treasure... You love it all! You dream of one day being involved in some GRAND, SUPERNATURAL ADVENTURE OF YOUR OWN, but the likelihood of that ever happening is UNFORTUNATELY SLIM.

Your love of fantasy collides nicely with another of your interests- CREATURES AND BEASTS OF THE MYTHOLOGICAL OR ZOOLOGICALLY DUBIOUS VARIETY. If it's an animal with some kind of unnatural lore behind it, then you're HOOKED IN A HEARTBEAT. DRAGONS ARE YOUR FAVOURITE, which is great because they're most often featured in your books. But it's those modern, spooky CRYPTID tales of urban legends and ungodly beings that really sparks your fire.

What will you do?

16/02/13
"Enter name"

"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."

- Philosopher; Gabe Logan Newell

16/02/13
"==>"

16/02/13
"==>"

16/02/13
"Enter name"

No! That’s a TERRIBLE choice of name!

Come now, one more try...

16/02/13
"==>"

Her companion watches from the hilltop, omniscient but ever unseeing. But this young lady knows she's not alone- but it doesn't really bother her. Her friend and guardian is always there watching quietly, whether she wants him to be or not. That's just a fact of life.

Now, what was the name of this young lady again...?

16/02/13
"==>"

A young lady floats, half-submerged in the ocean on a nice sunny day. Out in the light and afloat in the water, she contents herself with paddling between lily pads and crumbling architecture.

16/02/13
"John: Suddenly be stuck on an island all by yourself, with no one but Grandpa and Bec the Dog as company."

16/02/13
"==>"

The force of impact knocks you out clean cold. This is likely another one of those things that your brother probably didn't intend to do at all, but happened anyway. He has a tendency to forget his own strength sometimes.

Either way you're verily unconscious right now. We can't continue to be you as it stands.

Let's try someone else.

16/02/13
"==>"

Happy birthday, John.

16/02/13
"==>"

16/02/13
"==>"

16/02/13
"==>"

You look at him with quiet apology etched upon your features. You cannot see each other's eyes past the tinted glass- the sunglasses make sure of that.

You apologise for your failure in battle, with a downward quirk of your lips. He says it’s alright- that you’re still learning, and have far to go. He doesn’t blame you for your loss, but mentions that you need to try harder. You say you understand, and Bro says that you’ll do better next time.

You don’t know whether that’s an encouragement, or a demand.

16/02/13
"==>"

16/02/13
"John: Get up"

Alright, well, that one was essentially a no-brainer.

16/02/13
"John: Update your best friend on the state of your ass-whooping"

Nah, you’ll pass. You don’t really feel like humiliating yourself in front of him right now.

Besides, you have no way of getting in touch with any of your friends at the present moment.

16/02/13
"John: Evaluate self"

Your name is JOHN STRIDER, and you'e rolled onto your back in a grotesque defeat. The shameful tang of loss is nothing new to you- in fact, this outcome was HIGHLY ANTICIPATED by both you and your BROTHER. He's a good fighter, and he always wins. There is no instance of battle where you could ever hope to defeat him.
You guess you could say that he is SIMPLY THE BEST THERE IS.

You have a number of interests, none of which involve being knocked onto your face. You enjoy a good MOVIE from time to time, and your tastes are TOTALLY AS REFINED AS THEY GET. Rom-coms are great, and also appeal to your 'FANTASTIC' SENSE OF IRONY. An impossibly rad guy like you, enjoying the antics of a bumbling protagonist who gets the girl in the end? Who would guess! Not anyone that you know, that's for sure.

You have a penchant for MUSIC, and often busy yourself with writing SHORT COMPOSITIONS. You'd go so far as to think yourself quite PIANO SAVVY. You'd kill to be able to get a REAL PIANO, instead of the SHITTY, BATTERY POWERED KEYBOARD you've got now. But alas, you and your brother DON'T HAVE MUCH MONEY THANKS TO A FAILING PUPPET BUSINESS, AND THEREFORE CAN'T AFFORD ONE.

Your interests also venture into the realm of the stars; which is to say, YOU LIKE ASTRONOMY. You're fascinated by what dwells beyond your realm of comprehension. One day, you'd like to properly go STAR-GAZING, instead of sitting on your roof at night and grimacing at the city's light pollution.

What will you do?

16/02/13
"==>"

“Dusk, is just an illusion, because the sun is either above the horizon or below it. And that means that day and night are linked in a way that few things are; there cannot be one without the other, yet they cannot exist at the same time. How would it feel, I remember wondering to be always together, yet forever apart?”

— Esteemed physician; Albus Dumbledore

16/02/13
"Enter name"

16/02/13
"==>"

16/02/13
"==>"

16/02/13
"Enter name"

As funny as it would be to have a name like that throughout his entire adventure, this young man probadefinitely wouldn't appreciate that at all.

Let’s try something more traditional.

16/02/13
"==>"

It seems like he’s a little busy battling his brother right now, but that shouldn't matter. We can go right on ahead and name him.

What will the name of this young man be?

16/02/13
"ERR0RBOUND"

A young man stands on his rooftop. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, 2009, is this young man's birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it's only today that he will be given a name!