AlterniaFM


24/04/17
"===>"

She just decides to come outside, figuring you were caught up in another concern-filled daze.

24/04/17
"===>"

You then think about the possibility of her NOT knowing what they are, or the possibility that more could appear, or that they're intruders, or enemies, or god knows what else! It would be awful if those sorts of things were to happen, you think, but you don't know what it could-

23/04/17
"Finn: Explain what planet really is."

You try to come up with a rational explanation of what the new planet is, but you have no idea what it is yourself. Even in dreamy gold yellow moon fly fly place you can't come up with a reason for why it would just appear out of nowhere. You figure the Queen would have some idea of what it is.

22/04/17
"===>"

The wider of the two GUARDSMEN goes on to talk about a new planet circling SKAIA, which you already know as the planet PROSPIT orbits. At least, your pretty sure its a planet. He also informs you that the CONSORTS of the Land seem pretty agitated and that the QUEEN would like to talk to you about it. This is news to you, as when you saw the Queen on your way here she seemed fine, serene even.

Nevertheless, if she says it's important, it probably is. But you should probably try and calm down the guard before you go in.

21/04/17
"===>"

You finally make it to the Queen's Castle. Before you head in, though, you have a nice chat with the two FRIENDLY GUARDSMEN. Aside from the Queen, these two are your closest Prospitian buddies. As far as you can tell, though, they don't have names. In fact, no prospitian has a name. it sort of a tradition thing, you think. You also think it would be rude to ask or assign them a name, so you just refer to them as the guards.

20/04/17
"[S] Finn: Fly."

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20/04/17
"===>"

Guest artist

20/04/17
"Finn: Stop doing stupid shit and get down to brass tax."


You decide that you've had your fill of mucking around in your room and that it's time to get to work. Work being lazily wandering Prospit of course.

20/04/17
"Finn: Imitate dead PRINGLES can."

Figuring out with your split second thinking abilities the only next logical step, you fall on the ground and do your best dead can impression. You think its pretty good.

16/04/17
"Finn: Try to recall what you were thinking when you wrote the note."


Ok, You start to examine all the shit on the note that could mean anything, and mentally label them 1-5.

1 is obviously someone sleeping, most likely you, as you can't think of a single person as dashingly handsome as yourself. You didn't feel the need to picture it in your head, but it was signified that whoever was sleeping was on Prospit's moon, only adding to the evidence pile of it being you.

2 is probably a captcha card of some sort, probably meant to represent your syllabook. Which is pointing to under the moon? You wonder if a constantly orbiting celestial body would even have an underside, and if it did what would make it so.

3 is Prospit, obviously. Its main function is signifying what 4 is, Prospit's Moon. You wonder briefly why you didn't color it with your sick Marker-Cross, but then decide that's a stupid train of thought.

Lastly, 5 seems to be a frowny face, like the one on your wall. This was most likely an insult from your past self, aimed at your current self for forgetting what the note meant, made for the express purpose of spiting you into figuring out what it was out of pure moronic anger.

Now you know (or had already known, you guess) what each thing means on their own. But do they mean together?

15/04/17
"Finn: Retrieve goodies from PRINGLES CAN. "


You look inside one of the CANS. Inside is a note you left for yourself, in a code that only you could understand.

You have no idea what it means.

14/04/17
"===>"


But you don't because they would probably taste bad and also because they're not food. So you decide to get out your EMERGENCY RATIONS.

14/04/17
"Finn: Decide to eat some food instead of looking for it."


For some reason you get the almost uncontrollable urge to eat something. You then get an even stranger urge to have that something be one of your BLOCKS of VERSATILITY.

13/04/17
"Finn: Look through syllabook."


Alright, but it's a bit of an undertaking.

The CTD Modus, while useful, puts your items into a different book depending on whether you're awake or asleep. And each time you wake up, you have to find where you last left the book that your dream items get stored in. At least, if you want to take the item OUT of the book, as you can still captchalouge them just fine. So all of your items are safely tucked away, you just have no idea where.

Now that you think of it, you should probably find it. But where could it be?

12/04/17
"Finn: Take Cross."

You captchalouge the CROSS.

12/04/17
"Finn: Examine Vine-Covered Cross."


This old thing? It's just one of your more useless-but-still-awesome-in-its-own-right Carpentry projects. They aren't vines, they're WIRINGS you use to keep it on the wall. You don't know what it means but you modeled it off of the handheld cross-marker that you just used, which just appeared in your dream room one day.

You, of course, have a non-dream counterpart of both objects, but while the marker appeared on its own, you made the second bigger cross yourself, in your real room and your dream room. You take pride in being able to make pretty much an exact replica of it.

11/04/17
"===>"


But try as you might, that little smudge just pisses you off too much to let it slide. So you grab your Cloth of Dreams and wipe the marker off. The A stays where it is, though.

11/04/17
"Finn: Write all over your arms."


You proceed to review your current plan of action by writing it on your arm. It's not like there was perfectly good blank paper right where you were standing, but whatever.

You sort of fuck up part of it though. To rectify that, you go above and beyond the standard plan review procedure and draw your cool A on the back of your hand.

10/04/17
"Finn: Uncap the obviously hidden marker in the Handheld Cross."


Ok, You don't know why you had to specify its obviousness as anyone with a brain should have seen that coming from a mile away, but alright. What do you do with it?

10/04/17
"Finn: Examine drawing of superhero."


Oh, this? This is nothing special, just a picture of your sister you drew a day or two ago. You were planning on giving it to her as a sort of thank-you note for the cool shit you know your gonna get today. She seems to have a thing for superheroes. The name of the drawing, of course, is THE GARDENER OF SOULS: MEET THE AMAZING HEARTTHROB!

You are positive she's gonna love it.

10/04/17
"Finn: Stomp around."


Hey, what do you know! All you're accomplishing is looking like a buffoon! If wasting time was an Olympic sport you would spend too much time getting ready to participate. The crowd goes wild with how you somehow disqualified yourself by being the best there is at wasting time.

07/04/17
"Finn: Reflect on graffiti."


You reflect on the graffiti for a moment. You think it's odd that you would do this in the first place, about this specific graffiti, instead of, say, any other piece of wall vandalism in your room, or just all of it as a whole. It's been there since you put it there, obviously, though it was more of a spur of the moment thing than anything else, so as for reasons why you're all tapped out.

You GUESS it means you could stomp around and the floor would open up, but the only thing you would accomplish by doing that would be looking like a doofus for a few minutes.

06/04/17
"Finn: Collect captchalouge-related EXP."

You performed such a masterful CAPTCHATECH just then that the casual nabbing of the other two stacks like it was no big deal has bumped you up to the next rung on your ECHELADDER, YAK-ATTACK. You take the brunt of accessory swappage, as well as a bountiful yield of a whole slew of useless shit that you don't understand, and mature the highest known CAPTCHATECH: CAPTCHAGEDDON -> STOCK BROKERS NIGHTMARE.

You and your sister have been practically rocketing up your ECHELADDERS ever since you can remember. You take fondly of recalling a time when you argued who's rung was cooler, your TOP BAMFIST or her BOOMBABY BATTLER. But you think it's pretty clear who's was cooler.

05/04/17
"===>"


You then just grab the other two stacks in whole stack form cause you don't want your Syllabook to be heavier than a god damn anvil.

05/04/17
"Finn: Check out unseen graffiti."

You walk over and perform the difficult to master CAPTCHATECH: CAPTCHAGEDDON.

04/04/17
"===>"



-- purposfullyHidden [PH] began hassling comedicRanger [CR] at 15:19 --

PH: Finn, RC said he hasn't heard a peep from you. Have you been ignoring him?
CR: well yea like that's something new
PH: Is that why I was able to find you here? So you could avoid him more successfully?
CR: no its not JUST that
CR: i also knocked myself out again

PH: Just what is it with you and always coming here by mistake
PH: Actually, before this gets derailed any further, RC told me that if I could reach you, to wish you a "Remarkable Birthday Celebration."

CR: see thats what im TALKIN ABOUT the dude is so fuckin formal and business like n shit
CR: like im talkin 2 him and its like SNORE get ON with it

PH: Yeah, he has a way with words that I'm afraid none of us will ever reach
PH: In any case, he also mentioned that his gift would arrive today, as should mine
PH: Speaking of, happy birthday

CR: thanks yo!!
CR: now im probs gonna log off 4 now n see if i can unboardify myself for a bit
CR: c u

PH: Later

-- comedicRanger [CR] has ceased being hassled by purposfullyHidden [PH] at 15:26 --

04/04/17
"Finn: Meet up with dream friends."


Woah woah woah, you can't go out yet, you just woke up! You do however turn on your DREAMPUTER, to at least meet up on HASSLEMATE.

04/04/17
"Finn: Examine different looking bedsheets."

Your bedsheets? They're the same as they always were. Frankly, the notion that they're different than they have ever been at any point in the past is absurd and you will humor this thought no longer.

02/04/17
"Finn: Examine whereabouts."

Not much to examine, your just on Prospit! For some reason you always end up here when you fall asleep, though more usually you get knocked out.

But now that you're here, you can't go retrieve the game, attack the enemy, OR answer your mate. So, what will you do?

02/04/17
"Finn: Wake up."

You wake up, again. You're never able to get a good nights rest, it seems.

Oh well. The bright side is now your on Prospit, which means you can spend some time with your dream friends!

01/04/17
"===>"

31/03/17
"[S] Finn: Kazactuate."

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31/03/17
"Finn: Set previous idea in motion."

Ok, you do that.

31/03/17
"Finn: Look up the latest scientific discoveries. "


While you aren't dumb enough to call video game tech "scientific discoveries," you find that its MUCH more interesting than, say, particle physics. You quickly skim the news feed. Blah blah blah, a bunch of stuff about AM 4 that you already know, and...what's this? 

Uh oh, you think, as you mentally go through a checklist on the secrecy of this project. The jig: up. The cat: out of the bag. The beans: spilled. And some other silly things like that. The jig, cat, and beans, in this case, are the fact that the testing group you're in was SUPPOSED to be kept under wraps until the games release. But apparently Hunter Inc. must have caught on to the foul play afoot related to your entry into the program and are having it checked out.

This shouldn't be a problem, though, as your test copies have already arrived. And you're not worried about getting them back from the CERTAIN SOMEONE.

OK, now you really do need to do something else.

31/03/17
"===>"


But you'll do that in a minute, apparently.

29/03/17
"===>"

Man, it's just not doing it for you today. You're bored out of your god damn mind.

But you think you do have an idea of what you could do.

29/03/17
"Finn: Look for memes."

Well, your not gonna do that. You remember the last time you looked up generic memes. Nothing but monkey balls and like...what was that, 4-foot nose hairs? Blegh, no thanks.

Instead you just go to one of your classic time-waster websites.

29/03/17
"Finn: Open Portunes."

Alright, you're here. Where to?

29/03/17
"===>"

Man, you haven't had a happy conversation about YY in a while. You talk to him, like you do with all of your friends, but he just isn't the same as when you all first met. It's not like there was any tragic accident or event that changed him forever, he just sort of drifted into a different person. You've talked to him and HB about convincing their mom to get him some help, but she can't, for reasons neither of them will expand upon.

You should do something to get your mind off of this, it's a little heavy.

29/03/17
"Finn: Actuate."


-- comedicRanger [CR] began hassling heroicBusybody [HB] at 15:16 --

CR: yo haywood
CR: how's it hangin?
CR: i mean not good i presume
CR: considering either A your having some sort of birthday war with YY, or B hes still down in the dumps and nothin at all is goin on
CR: i really worry about him sometimes
CR: but im sure itll all be fine
CR: like
CR: shit usually works out i guess
CR: anyways in lighter news
CR: i hear CY got you two some pretty choice gifts
CR: she said they had a lot of sentimental value to her
CR: man your still not here
CR: aight heres the skinny:
CR: message me when you get back online and i we can jam out with some battle stratigies
CR: and possibly ways to get his goat


-- comedicRanger [CR] is now an idle mate! --

29/03/17
"Finn: Check group B."


-- competentYokel [CY] began hassling comedicRanger [CR] at 13:32 --

CY: boi you around
CY: i got shit to do places to be people to wrangle
CY: man you sleep a lot
CY: ok ill leave this message for later
CY: happy birthday, merry birthmas, all that good stuff
CY: dont know how we ended up stuck with fuckin four birthdays today but w/e at least gift duties are split in half
CY: not like i got lots of options for gifts but sentimental value makes up for it i think
CY: anyway make sure to say happy bday to your sis
CY: or at least stop with the god damn play fighting
CY: see ya


-- competentYokel [CY] ceased hassling comedicRanger [CR] at 13:47 --

-- comedicRanger [CR] began hassling competentYokel [CY] at 15:16 --

CR: ay im here
CR: also fuck u she can eat my ass if she thinks shes gonna get anything out of me
CR: our birthdays cancel each other out if it wasn't clear
CR: message me when you get back about what ur getting 4 HB and YY


-- comedicRanger [CR] is now an idle mate! --

27/03/17
"Finn: Answer chum."


You check your Hasslemate application, and see that you have messages in both group A and group B. This of course is because of your and your mates agreement to keep things neatly organized and compatibility. Also it makes playing games much easier with predetermined teammates.

Which group will you check first?

27/03/17
"===>"


Oh look, your getting hassled.

27/03/17
"===>"


Yay!!! You are so proud. One day you will be the best hitting batterly person in the world, you just know it. You're pretty much the smartest person in the room when it comes to batterly-related activities.

27/03/17
"===>"


AND THE YOKEL FROM SMALLTOWNBERG USA MAKES THE COVETED HOME-RUN OF VICTORY! THE CROWD GOES WILD WITH CHEER AND VIM AND VIGOR AND ALL SORTS OF THINGS OVER HIS AMAZING BATTERLY SKILLS!

27/03/17
"Finn: Batter up."


Belfur steps up to the plate. The crowd is silent, waiting in dreadful anticipation. What will he do, they wonder.

27/03/17
"===>"


It's sort of shabby but it'll do.

27/03/17
"===>"

As is plainly obvious to anyone with a brain, your not the best at DRAWING, or really even drawing STRAIGHT LINES.

It gets the job done, though. Believe it or not, you think to yourself, these cubes aren't all that complex.

27/03/17
"Finn: Practice using bat on something."


You quickly start the process of retrieving some blocks from your book.

25/03/17
"Finn: Look at inventory."


Its pretty simple, when you captchalouge something it prints onto two of the pages, one showing the item and the other showing the code, whatever that is. You figure its some programming in the book or something.


These blocks are a dime a dozen, if dimes already came in dozens for a dime. That is to say, they are INFINITELY MULTIPLYING AT YOUR OWN WHIM. You cant find much use for them except for table legs. Your not so sure how you would have used them as a strife specibus, even IF the abstratus allowed it.

24/03/17
"Finn: Examine Fetch modus."

It's nothing special, just the classic Connect-the-Dot Modus. You've had it for a while and have been meaning to get a replacement, but it is just so darn fun you have a hard time replacing it.

23/03/17
"Finn: Select "BAT"."



Your STRIFE SPECIBUS has been ALLOCATED with the BATKIND ABSTRATUS.

The BAT has been moved from your CAPTCHALOGUE DECK to your STRIFE DECK.

23/03/17
"Finn: Captchalouge bat."

23/03/17
"Finn: Allocate."


And by somewhere, you don't mean at the ass crack of weaponology. You choose BATKIND, seeing as its probably the most powerful thing you have in your room.

...What? It's not like you even had a plunger in here to allocate anyways.

23/03/17
"Finn: Choose "PLUNGER"."


You notice the wildly considered joke abstratus in the list of starter weapons. Plungers, eh? You're not sure how you could battle with it, aside from swinging it around. But what the hell, you have to start somewhere.

22/03/17
"Finn: Choose an abstratus."


You flip over the card and look at all the possible choices. Looking around your room, you already see a few. this one, that one, oh you guess this one is an option.

You mull it over for a minute or two before choosing an answer.

22/03/17
"Finn: Check out your weapons."

But you should probably prepare a weapon first. You already have your usual one, MUSCLEKIND, given to you as babies-first-abstratus. But already given to you as a present today, is another blank card, which you should also probably allocate.

22/03/17
"Finn: Find culprit of POSTER defacings."

Oh, that wont be hard. While the content of the defacings is rather neutral to you, you will not stand for the act. It appears it is your turn to retaliate to your loathsome war opponent.

21/03/17
"Finn: Examine final POSTER."


Ah yes, this...this is an interesting one. It looks like an interesting game, you guess, being some sort of multiplayer environment altering game, but you don't know how its supposed to work.

You were slipped in through a favor from a friend to a PRESTIGIOUS group of game testers, and you would be playing right now had your copy not been swiped by a CERTAIN SOMEONE.

21/03/17
"Finn: Inspect Alchamight poster."


You hung this one above your bed, and like to imagine the four heroes watching over you and protecting you as you sleep. You have been an avid fan of the series since it first came out, a little more than 7 years ago.

The games were supposed to all be on one console, but as technology got better they had to work around making better then the last games while still maintaining connectability between them.

21/03/17
"Finn: Examine other baseball-related posters."


You take great pride in having the foresight to hang your ANGELS poster too high to be defaced. That didn't save your BASEBALL TRADING CARD poster though. But even you have to agree the joke put onto it, though a little forced, is something that could only ever enhance the poster itself. You even pointed to the two balls to finish the joke.

21/03/17
"Finn: Examine defaced Baseball posters."

OK, you have to admit, these additions aren't too bad. you get a hearty chuckle when you look at Ty Cobb's screaming face, or Babe Ruth's dead eyes and bird being flipped.

You also have to admit, though, your Lou Gehrig poster was already a little weird, before the addition of his sickly yellow teets. And you don't even KNOW what that weird mask is about.

21/03/17
"Finn: Inspect poster with four symbols."


Ah, the emblems of disorder. When the final ALCHAMIGHT game was announced and they revealed the last emblem, it was only a matter of who could get the shirt first. You yourself proudly wear the ANARCHIST A on your shirt, and your other friends have claimed the COHERENCE QUILL, the MUTATION MERIDIAN, and the EXTRASENSORY EYE.

20/03/17
"Finn: Quickly switch on arms."


ARMS isn't out yet! Besides, you don't even have a switch.

19/03/17
"Examine room."

Your name is FINN. One of a memory such as yours may not know this, but today is your BIRTHDAY. Though through some arbitrary sequences of events you SHARE THIS BIRTHDAY with 3 OTHERS, most of which take up space in your list of PEOPLE YOU ENJOY TALKING TO.

And lets not forget about your INTERESTS, of which there are PLENTY. You enjoy playing the LATEST NEW GAMING SYSTEMS, all of which you are KICK ASS at. Particularly you love a good game of ALCHAMIGHT 4, the latest and potentially last in a series made by HUNTER INC, where you play as the ALMIGHTY NURSE OF THE HARPIES. You also play as three other heroes because it is a JRPG, not an MMO, but come on. She is clearly BEST CHARACTER BY FAR. You enjoy a good game of SPORTS, especially BASEBALL. Your favorite team at the moment are the LA ANGELS, and you hope one day to JOIN THEIR RANKS as the TOP HITTER IN ANGEL HISTORY.

You wouldn't say it's your FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD, but you are pretty good at CARPENTRY, or at least STICKING A BUNCH OF BLOCKS TOGETHER. A number of tools are strewn across your HOMEMADE DESK OF WONDER, which is also where you keep your COMPUTER.

You just woke up, and should begin your day. But how?

18/03/17
"Try again."

18/03/17
"Enter name."

17/03/17
"Wake up."

16/03/17
"Splitstuck"