AlterniaFM
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14/05/17
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And you're really losing your cool.

14/05/17
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You then proceed to flip the fuck out.

14/05/17
"Dave: Strife!"

You fail use your STRIFE SPECIBUS.

The only thing you are apparently able to do with it is nothing!

08/05/17
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This is your chance to be Superman.

30/04/17
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And oh man you were never prepared for this on so many levels.

29/04/17
"John: Be Dave"

You are now Dave, the one who is in the center of everything. The center of action, attention, but mostly probably not the universe.

23/04/17
"John: Cooperate with the officers, because making enemies will not be a fun thing to deal with."

You chose to not resist the officer, and manage to start making a friend.(?)


OFFICER: You're a easy little fella', aren't you?
OFFICER: I've never heard of intruders or criminals cooperate like this.
OFFICER: They've all tried to escape, but you're here, not trying any tricks.
OFFICER: Seems like you want to be inspected for motives and any goods.
OFFICER: I actually feel bad for the both of us.
OFFICER: My job has gotten too easy and I'm afraid with it being this easy I'll be paid a lot less.
OFFICER: And you're so different from everyone else that has broken
The Code.
JOHN: ...what code?
OFFICER: The Code, haven't you've gone to school before?
JOHN: i went to school before!
JOHN: but i guess schools here are different than they were in the twentieth century...

OFFICER: That explains a lot.
OFFICER: You don't know much about this planet.
OFFICER: But sadly, I must do what must be done.
OFFICER: I'm afraid that even though you, the individual, aren't exactly breaking the code...
OFFICER: ... I still have to put you on the list for inspection, it's the local law on planet Earth that all individuals involved must be inspected, no matter what.
OFFICER: Well, get in the transport cab.
OFFICER: I hope you're as innocent as i see you as.
OFFICER: And, don't try anything, please.
OFFICER: I don't want to be fired from my rank.
OFFICER: (Not yet.)
NIRMORA: By the way, kiddo, the name's Nirmora if we ever meet again, hopefully for good reasons.
NIRMORA: Planet Jubranoa, the fourth Grudun homeworld.
NIRMORA: You don't have to, but you might want to visit me there, if doomsday doesn't crush us.

13/04/17
"John: Look behind you"

Well, isn't that just nice? You swear if the current date here just so happens to fall on the day of your birthday, then this is the worst birthday of your entire life. You've done nothing wrong, you can't control the wind anymore, you probably can't fly on top with that fact, meaning that you're no longer immortal in any way, and you piece this together via logic, and ahead of you is soap. Nasty, icky, zoosmell-loaded soap.

Oh man, this will be fun. The IRONY and SARCASM doesn't just stop there; if you're willing to continue the art of said FIGURATIVE ELEMENTS for the time being and shed a little bit of light on the matters. Alas, you fail to find any reason at all why the FAR FUTURE could be a good place to be in.

This is certainly going to be the longest day ever imaginable if playing a so-called VIDEO GAME for over 3 years doesn't top that. You've dreaded to ever have something top THAT. Whether you resist the officers or not is completely up to you. However, no matter what, any version of you would agree to not resist. For reasons.

11/04/17
"John: Do the... Windy thing?"


JOHN: come one come one come ooooooon!
JOHN: huh?
JOHN: no no no why isn't this working?
JOHN: dave i know what the problem is now...
JOHN: i can't even use my wind powers!

DAVE: so im not the only one
DAVE: hold up
DAVE: john look behind you!

06/04/17
"======>"


OFFICER: DRESS CODE VIOLATION!!!
OFFICER: Bring em' to the station right now!

JAKE: This is all my fault now... isn't it?
DAVE: ... shit
DAVE: can you give us more than like
DAVE: five minutes to talk this through

JADE: dave!!!!!!!!!
DAVE: i swear i cant fix this if these guys wont talk
JOHN: then why don't i blow them away so we get more time to think this thoroughly?
DAVE: that would be a good idea
JOHN: okay

05/04/17
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DAVE: so uh who wants to try to speak to them this time
JADE: where the...
DAVE: jade you wanna try
JADE: what uh...?
JADE: just where are we???

DAVE: i dunno were trying to find out but these guys arent talking
ROXY: idfk
ROXY: but we might not b five thousand years in the future
ROXY: big problem

DAVE: well thats nice to know
DAVE: i fucked up somewhere
DAVE: ...

JOHN: i actually don't think we're reaaaaaaaaaally at the right time
JOHN: if aliens are here then we're too far a head in time

JADE: dave did you really fuck things up?!?! D:
JADE: you had one job!!!

DAVE: i wouldnt even call it a job
DAVE: i seriously hope i can get us out of this mess

ROXY: yea send us back to the present
DAVE: hold the fuck up
DAVE: i cant

ROXY: what do u mean
DAVE: i cant
ROXY: what
DAVE: i cant
DAVE: uh why isnt this working.....
DAVE: ohhh...
DAVE: WERE STUCK

JADE: oh my god!!!
ROSE: We've trusted you with this and you've gotten us in this situation.
ROSE: How wonderful, being stuck in an unknown time period.

DIRK: Bro, we told you five thousand, not five million or whatever.
DIRK: How in the world did you even manage to do this is my question.
DIRK: I want it answered right now, like everyone else.

JADE: yeah!!! ):<
ROXY: yeee-up.
JAKE: Whoa there dirk it's like you're able to read our minds!
KARKAT: YEAH DAVE HOW DID YOU DO THIS?
KARKAT: (oh did that come out as sarcasm?)
KARKAT: ANYWAY DAVE HOW DID THIS HAPPEN, HUH?
KARKAT: WHAT IF THIS LEADS TO OUR DEATHS?
KARKAT: WAIT, SHOULD I BE ONE OF THE ONLY ONES WHO ARE ACTUALLY CONCERNED ABOUT THIS?
KARKAT: DAMN IT DAVE JUST FIX THIS.

JOHN: agreed
CALLIOPE: It woUld be wise to panic for now...
ROSE: I agree with Dirk, I want to find out how you caused this.
ROSE: If I'm not mistaken, this should be resolved soon, so go send us back at the right time period, now.
ROSE: Unless if we want something seriously wrong to occur, which I doubt you do.

TEREZI: BOTH ROS3 4ND D1RK 4R3 R1GHT
TEREZI: H3Y D4V3 HOW 4BOUT YOU L1ST3N TO TH3M
TEREZI: B3FOR3 1TS TOO L4T3

DAVE: guys it was an accident
DAVE: i swear i specifically traveled five thousand years i swear

JADE: wow dave what a good excuse!!! D:<
KANAYA: Id Only Forgive You If We Arent Interrogated Aggressively At All
KANAYA: But That Looks Like An Unlikely Thing To Happen
KANAYA: Im Sincerely Sorry If You Take This Personally But I Wont Forgive You For This

DAVE: great
DAVE: everyone hates me now

JAKE: You better not forget this mistake youve made!
JAKE: Because nooo one is gonna forgive you and forget this!

DAVE: let me try another way
DAVE: .............
DAVE: what
DAVE: uh guys

ROXY: what do u want now
JADE: what are we going to do!!! D:
DAVE: guys i have no idea what to do about this
KARKAT: OH GREAT SO WE'RE ALL STUCK HERE. THANKS A LOT DAVE, WE'LL ALL ROT HERE.
JOHN: just time travel us out of here
JOHN: it shouldn't be hard

DAVE: thats the problem
DAVE: i cant

JOHN: why?
DAVE: i just cant
JADE: oh my gosh dave just do it before anything bad happens!!!!! D:<

28/03/17
"Dave: Communicate with aliens"


DAVE: yo um hey everyone
DAVE: its us
DAVE: ...

JOHN: uhhhhhh daaaaaave i don't think they know us...
DAVE: why not?
DAVE: were like celebrities
DAVE: why hasnt anyone taken out their phones and squealing
DAVE: seriously this silence makes no sense
DAVE: we traveled five thousand years into the future
DAVE: have yall forgotten about us THAT quickly?
DAVE: or do yall not speak english

JOHN: ...
DAVE: ...
DAVE: HELLO stop staring at jakes ass for a moment
DAVE: im trying to talk
DAVE: im talking SERIOUS talk right now
DAVE: far beyond the serious talk yall have normally
DAVE: so SERIOUS you will not BELIEVE

JAKE: Theyre staring at me?
DAVE: jake no shush im trying to talk
DAVE: so uh aliens and familiar guys
DAVE: yall speak english or russian or something
DAVE: .........................
DAVE: okay then i guess yall are unable to speak
DAVE: OR YALL ARE PAYING SO MUCH ATTENTION ON JAKE
DAVE: you know what i give up on trying to communicate with these people

26/03/17
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DAVE: hold the fuck up
DAVE: oh man
DAVE: what on earth happened
DAVE: something with this setting is completely off
DAVE: john JOHN
DAVE: point out what you see right with this picture

JOHN: dave i don't see aaaaanything right.
DAVE: thats right
DAVE: like look over at that black bug thing

JOHN: jeez that thing is terrifying!
DAVE: what thing?
JOHN: it's some dragon like creatures...
DAVE: oh yeah i see the similarities
JOHN: maybe there's one word that could probably explain most of this...
DAVE: monsters
DAVE: alright yes they look like monsters so thats what were going to call them.
DAVE: except for those trolls consorts and carapacian guys
DAVE: theyre rad

JOHN: uhhh, no.
JOHN: more like new alien species.
JOHN: this place does look like it's from a sci fi movie after all.

DAVE: yeah youre right
DAVE: aliens

JOHN: should we attempt to communicate with them?
DAVE: dunno man
DAVE: maybe we should

24/03/17
"Crowd: stare at the weirdos"

As if they all had a hive mind, they stare at the creators, not being PLEASED THE SLIGHTEST BIT in any way, shape, or form. Either way, the creators knew they were in TROUBLE. A large amount of trouble, to EMPHASIZE. The crowd is horrified but simply stands there, as if they aren't affected by this sudden turn of events.

Some in this crowd wear blue uniforms, suggesting they are IMPORTANT LAW OFFICIALS. Under any circumstance should a law official be around you, you act on your best behavior and not suddenly appear from thin air. It's rude to suddenly pop into the middle of an unsuspecting crowd, though it's a little too late to fix that mistake.

But there is something else of the events currently unfolding that is causing these bystanders ABSOLUTE GREIF.

16/03/17
"But today is a very special day, I'll add."

This very day was their unexpected arrival. No one knew them. No one recognized them as the Creators. Just a bunch of WEIRDOS who suddenly APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE. After all of this time, no one cared about gods anymore.

Aren't Gods just fantasy? Scientific discoveries have proven against the existence of such "Gods", or as we should call them, Creators. Of course, the Creators had very little clue about what FIVE THOUSAND years in the future would be like.

The had ABSOLUTELY no idea what FIVE BILLION YEARS in the FAR FUTURE would even be like.

This was the most BIZARRE turn of events they never would even have thought about.

Time traveling has gone ultimately wrong.

16/03/17
"Now, to the far future"

Far into the future, an estimate of FIVE BILLION EARTH YEARS, Earth's once PRIMITIVE society has evolved into the most advanced civilization one could ever imagine. Almost FLAWLESS, it seems. CARAPACIANS, CONSORTS, and TROLLS litter the streets and buildings, along with some other ALIEN SPECIES.

This society grew up with NO RELIGIOUS BELIEF, and the very little religion they have is that they, themselves, OWN THE UNIVERSE. This behavior went UNDOCUMENTED when it first came up, while many generations forgot why they came up with this possibly BARBARIC BELIEF, but they don't even care a single bit. They focus more on protecting their FUTURE, not their past.

But, what about the HUMAN RACE? Well, their story went MISSING many, many, years ago, OVER A MILLION YEARS ago. The only remains they left was their BIOLOGICAL INFORMATION, a few RUINS, and some of their technology. But not their RELIGION.

What a happy-looking life for these people, what could possibly OCCUR today that changes that fact temporarily?

10/03/17
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And that was the day aliens were confirmed to exist.

10/03/17
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CARAPACIAN: wait dude are you seeing this?
CARAPACIAN: what?
CARAPACIAN: dont tell me the creators are finally coming this time because they arent real.
CARAPACIAN: remember when i said i want to believe?
CARAPACIAN: yeah.
CARAPACIAN: look above.
CARAPACIAN: holy.
CARAPACIAN: shit.
CARAPACIAN: aliens.

10/03/17
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CARAPACIAN: this is the billionth time we hosted an event no one cares for anymore!
CARAPACIAN: id say we stop hosting this event!
CARAPACIAN: the creators never come each year we host this on april 13!
CARAPACIAN: but should we go and move our civilization forwards instead of waiting for a change?
CARAPACIAN: yeah.
CARAPACIAN: were the only ones who can actually change the world, not the creators.
CARAPACIAN: plus, do they even exist at all?
CARAPACIAN: ...
CARAPACIAN: ... youre right.
CARAPACIAN: weve believed in a titanic load of myths for nine thousand years.
CARAPACIAN: every year we host this event less and less spectators come.
CARAPACIAN: now were only losing money.
CARAPACIAN: ...
CARAPACIAN: weve got to stop wasting our funds on things that dont even exist!
CARAPACIAN: look at the many other things we can use this cash for that we can actually profit from!
CARAPACIAN: we can even turn this into a sports stadium!
CARAPACIAN: then what are we waiting for?

10/03/17
"Nine thousand years into the future..."

After thousands of years waiting for the creators, an old tradition of waiting for their arrival dies off.

04/03/17
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24/02/17
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DAVE: alright guys here we go

24/02/17
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WARNING: HOMESTUCK SPOILERS!

DO NOT CONTINUE PAST THIS PAGE UNLESS IF YOU HAVE READ ALL OF HOMESTUCK! THIS FANVENTURE TAKES PLACE AROUND THE BEGINNING OF CREDITS!

THIS IS A POST-CANON HOMESTUCK ALTERNATE UNIVERSE AND LIKE I SAID, THERE ARE SPOILERS LOADED HERE. PLEASE READ HOMESTUCK FIRST! IN FACT, READ *ALL* OF CANON HOMESTUCK FIRST, THEN GO BACK AND START READING THIS FANVENTURE.

22/02/17
"Futurestuck"