AlterniaFM
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22/02/17
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22/02/17
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Evan: fuck me eh josh, FUCK ME RIGHT ? FUCK ME ? FUCK ME JOSH, FUCK ME, FUCK ME JOSH IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO, DO YOU WANT TO FUCK ME JOSH ? FUCK ME THEN JOSH RIGHT HERE AND NOW, FUCK ME. FUCK ME JOSH, COME THE FUCK AT ME JOSH I FUCKING DARE YOU, ALL MY FRIENDS ARE HEATHENS JOSH, I SUGGEST YOU TAKE IT SLOW

Hackerman: WHERE THE FUCK D1D YOU GET A GUN?

Evan: unimportant josh, UNIMFUCKINGPORTANT JOSH! FUCKING FIGHT ME JOSH, YOU GONNA CALL ME A FUCKING SONIC OC YOU SON OF A BITCH I'LL BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT JOSH, I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU ALL JOSH, i'll, i'll FUCK, fuck, I DON'T WANT TO FIT IN JOSH

Hackerman: WHAT THE FUCK ARE Y0U TALK1NG AB0UT, PUT THE GUN AWAY Y0U RATASS M0THERFUCKER

Evan: I DON'T WANT TO FIT IN JOSH, I JUST WANT TO BE A TEEN WEREWOLF JOSH, I JUST WANTED TO BE A TEEN WEREWOLF, I JUST WANTED TO BE A WEREWOLF JOSH, WHAT WAS THE HARM IN THAT, BUT YOU HAD TO GO AND MAKE FUN OF ME JOSH, YOU HAD TO GO AND FUCK WITH ME, WELL LOOK WHERE THAT GOT YOU JOSH.... look where that got you josh...... LOOK AROUND YOU JOSH, look around you, LOOK AROUND YOU CAUSE THIS'LL BE THE LAST TIME YOU EVER SEE THE NICEST STREET IN TOWN JOSH, THIS'LL BE THE LAST FUCKING TIME

Hackerman: 1f y0u k1ll me 1 swear t0 g0d 1'll c0me back a level 200 and fuck y0u 0ver, put the gun d0wn and let's get t0 the rebel base, 1 d0n't g1ve a FUCK 1f y0u're a werew0lf 1'm n0t dy1ng 0ver that sh1t

Evan: RATATATATAAAAA TATA JOSH, RATATATAAAAAAAAAAA I'M GONNA DO IT JOSH

Hackerman: N0 D0N'T Y0U FUCK1NG DARE

Evan: FFFFFFIIIIINE, we'll go to your little base, but if you talk shit, IF ANYONE HEARS ABOUT THIS, i'll fucking KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP, i never sleep josh, i never do, i don't need sleep, SLEEP IS FOR THE WEEEAK, i'll fucking... I'LL, fajoig fuck

Hackerman: 0kay shut the fuck up we're g01ng

Evan: NO YOU SHUT UP JOSH, DON'T YOU SAY A WORD JOSH, DON'T YOU UTTER A SINGLE SENTENCE REFERRING TO ME.... ra t a t a t a, josh

Hackerman: eeeugh y0u th1nk y0u're s0 fuck1ng c00l, everyth1ng y0u say leaves a h0rr1ble taste 1n my m0uth

Evan: SHUT YOUR MOUTH WISE GUY OR I'LL SHUT IT FOR YOU

Hackerman: alr1ght, 0kay, fuck, let's just g0

20/02/17
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Hackerman: s0 uh, are y0u the new guy wh0 1'm supp0sed t0 p1ck up, 0r are y0u just s0me rand0m fucker wh0 happens t0 be stand1ng ar0und the dr0p off area?

Evan: JOOOOOOOOOOOOSH

Hackerman: the abs0lute fuck?

Evan: MMMMMM, JOOOSSSSSSHHHH

Hackerman: uh...... alr1ght man 1 guess 1'll esc0rt y0u t0 the mental rec0very fac1l1ty

Evan: no josh, i'm... i'm perfectly sane, I'M SANE JOSH, i'm, i'm crazy josh i'm a crazy crraaaaaazy person, I'M NUTS! i'll kill you josh, i'll kill everyone, i'llllll kill them, i'll carve into their flesh josh, i'll rip them open josh, with my fingers josh, i won't use a blade josh, i don't need one

Hackerman: 000000kay then m0therfucker, c0me w1th me, we g0t a rubber r00m t00, fuck the mental rec0very fac1l1ty y0u're fucked bey0nd repa1r

Evan: nonononono, no, look, listen, do you hear it josh? it's what you're hearing josh, listen, it's what you're hearing, listen.... it's what you're hearing, listen........

Hackerman: are y0u qu0ting x g0n g1ve 1t to ya ?

Evan: listen to me josh, i'm perfectly sane, i'm completely in control of everything i do or say, i'm just.......... not a good person, josh, i'm a bad person josh, i do bad things, this world is a bad place, it's full of bad people josh...... they hurt me josh, the world has hurt me, made me an outcast, and yet i survive, i live... they turned me into what i am, i try my best to fight against it and yet it pulls me back..... dragging me down into the depths of my own mind, welcome to the room of people, who have rooms of people who they loved one day, docked away.... JUST BECAU-

Hackerman: 1'm g0nna st0p y0u there, 1 get 1t n0w, 1 get what y0u're say1ng, y0u're n0t cl1n1cally 1nsane y0u're just an edgy bastard, s0me shad0w the hedgeh0g based 0c l00k1ng m0therfucker

Evan: MMMMMMMMMMM JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH, SHUT YOUR FACE JOSH, YOU ALWAYS SAY THESE THINGS JOSH, THESE THINGS I DON'T AGREE WITH, MMMMMMMM I'LLLLLLL FUCKING KILLL YOUUUUU REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Hackerman: l00k m0therFUCKER, my name 1sn't j0sh, alr1ght? n0 0ne here 1s named j0sh, n0t a s1ngle FUCK1NG pers0n 1n th1s ent1re rebell10n 1s named j0sh, s0 get 0ver 1t, y0u can g0 f1nd s0me j0sh s0mewhere else n yell at h1m, but just, calm your sh1t d0wn f0r n0w, alright? we're g0nna head back 0ver t0 the rebel camp n 1'm g0nna get granddad to h00k y0u up 1n a r00m 0n s1de A s0 1 d0n't have t0 run 1nt0 y0u aga1n, here cl1mb back thr0ugh th1s p0rtal

Evan: i won't do it josh, i won't allow the portal to devour me, i'm already being consumed by my own emotions joooosssssshhhhhh

Hackerman: y0u wanna stay here and r0t 1n the alley, pr0bly get eaten by s0me h0meless fuckers 1n the street?

Evan: no.... not again, i won't let the alleyways have their way with me, my mind has only barely escaped their grasp, i am a broken man josh

Hackerman: ykn0, y0u're 0utside a fuck1ng mansion, th1s 1s pr0bably the n1cest street 1n the ent1re c1ty

Evan: yes uhm, that uh.... that's my home erm, THEY EXPECT TOO MUCH OF ME, I'VE BEEN TREATED TERRIBLY, I WILL WRITE A BOOK BASED AROUND MY STRUGGLES JOSH, EVERYONE WILL KNOW MY PAIN

Hackerman: eugh y0u're fuck1ng terr1ble, y0u g0nna h0p thr0ugh the p0rtal n0w? 1f n0t 1'm fuck1n leav1ng

Evan: YES JOSH, but this is the last time josh, this is the only exception josh, this is the only time i will put my life in your hands, FOR YOUR WORDS HAVE DESECRATED MY MIND JOSH, I HAVE ONLY NARROWLY ESCAPED INSANITY JOSH, YOU PEOPLE MAKE MY LIFE A LIVING NIGHTMARE...... but i like nightmares...... OOOOH I FIND IT KINDA FUNNY, I FIND IT KINDA SAD, THE DREAMS IN WHICH I'M DYING ARE THE BEST I'VE EVER HAD!!!!!!!!!!

Hackerman: ffuuuuuuuuck y0uuuuuu

20/02/17
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20/02/17
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Teretizi: WHY?

Dameeram: why what exactly?

Teretizi: WHY DO YOU LOV3 M3 >:?

Dameeram: why do you love me?

Teretizi: Y34

Dameeram: that was the answer

Teretizi: OH.......... Y34 1 GU3SS TH4T M4K3S S3NS3, BLUH

Dameeram: are you alright ? :<

Teretizi: 1'M F1N3, SCR33

Dameeram: alright, if you say so :>

20/02/17
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Teretizi: MRRH, H3Y M33R

Dameeram: what is it ? :>

Teretizi: 1 LOV3 YOU

Dameeram: i love you too

Teretizi: BUT 1 JUST W4NT TO 4SK...

Dameeram: mm?

14/02/17
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-- twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 5:34 --

TA: hey, ii wa2 watchiing the fuckiing 2trudel 2how, you fucker2 all good?
GC: Y34 W3 M4N4G3D TO G3T OUT W1TH TH3 STRUD3LS TH4T'D B33N F1N1SH3D PR3V1OUS TO TH3 SHOW'S 41R1NG SO W3'R3 JUST CH1LL1NG OUT ON OUR BUNK B3D FUCK1NG D3VOUR1NG TH3S3 L1TTL3 SH1TS
TA: pffff okay then, 2ounds fuckiin tiight
GC: T1GHT 4S 4 V1RG1N PUSSY?
TA: hahahaha, damn riight
GC: 4LR1GHT W3LL 1'M GO1NG TO GO NOW, 1'V3 GOT 4 NOT-SO-V1RG1N PUSSY ON MY H4NDS 4T TH3 MOM3NT >;]
TA: haha, what the fuck?
GC: BUT B3FOR3 1 H34D OFF TO 1C3 TH1S P1P1NG HOT STRUD3L 1'V3 GOT 4 L1TTL3 SOM3TH1NG FOR YOU
TA: oh fuck, ii2 iit goiing to be somethiing terriifying agaiin?
GC: N4H, TRUUUUUUST M3 >:]
TA: no one tru2t2 you when iit come2 to cliickiing liink2, cliickiing your 2hiit iis ju2t beggiing for mental 2carriing, not to mentiion the 2heer amount of u's ii2 makiing me even more worriied, by the way have you 2een that daredeviil 2how?
GC: N4H, YOU FUCK3RS W1LL H4V3 TO W4TCH 1T W1TH M3 SOM3 T1M3, BUT H3R3 JUST COPY P4ST3 TH1S SH1T 1NTO TH3 S34RCH B4R YOU DUMB N1GG3R https://soundcloud.com/iammountaindewtew/fuck-this-song-is-over-10-years-old
TA: copy pa2tiing on a phone ii2 fuckiing torture, not to mention ii wouldn't exactly want to cliick that liink even iif ii were on a computer at the moment, but ii gue22 iit'2 on 2ound cloud 2o iit couldn't really be more fuckiin joey'2 world tour, unle22 thii2 2hiit ii2 liike, ju2t the audiio from hii2 a2mr viideo, that'd be fucking deadly
GC: 4LR1GHT 1'M GONN4 GO NOW, CY4 MOTH3RFUK3R, TH1S STRUD3L 1S OOZ1NG W1TH 4NT1C1P4T1ON, 4ND MY P1P1NG B4G 1S PR3P4R3D TO SM34R 4 TH1CK D3L1COUS L4Y3R OF SUG4RY GOODN3SS 4TOP 1T'S SURF4C3
TA: what the ab2olute fuck ii2 wrong wiith you people?

-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA] at 5:45 --

14/02/17
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14/02/17
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Dameeram: once you've finished your mixtures, spread the jam mixture onto the puff pastry rectangles and-

Buddy: THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO DOING IN MY KITCHEN MOTHERFUCKERS?

Dameeram: i, uhm, we're... we're just

Buddy: WE'RE JUST MY ASS I'LL HAVE YOUR ASS I'LL HAVE SO MUCH ASS, I'M GOING TO MAKE A FUCKING CAKE OUTTA AAAASSS I'M IN THE MOOD FOR A SERIOUS HELPING OF ASS, I WANNA PILE OF AAAAAASSS, I'M GOING TO KICK BOTH YOUR ASSES IN MOTHERFUCKERS SO TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE DOIN UP IN MY KITCHEN RIGHT FUCKIN NOW BEFORE I HAND YOUR ASSES TO YOU

Teretizi: D4M33R 1 S3T TH3 C4M3R4 TO TH3 R3C1P3 L3T'S FUCK1NG BOLT 1T

Buddy: You little assholes aren't goin nowhere without no ASS WHOOPIN

Dameeram: PEACE MOTHAFUCKA!

Teretizi: SCR3333333333333333333T

14/02/17
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Dameeram: now cut the pastry dough into six rectangles, go ahead and quickly create a mixture of corn starch and strawberry jam, and a mixture of water and egg which we'll be adding to the edges of the pastry as an adhesive

14/02/17
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Dameeram: now we're going to roll out one sheet of puff pastry dough, make sure the counter is covered in flower or you're going to be fucked

14/02/17
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Dameeram: first things first, we're gonna need to hook this baking sheet up with some of this paper bullshit

Teretizi: 1F YOU DO 1ND33D PL4N TO B4K3 TH3S3 D3L3CT4BL3 D3SS3RTS 4ND DO NOT 4LR34DY POSS3SS SUCH P4P3R, W3'R3 SORRY TO 1NFORM YOU TH4T YOU'R3 FUCK1NG R3T4RD3D 4ND M1GHT 4SW3LL SW4P CH4NN3LS 1MM3D14T3LY, 1F YOU'R3 JUST W4TCH1NG TH1S B3C4US3 YOU'R3 POOR 4S FUCK 4ND W1SH YOU COULD G3T YOUR H4NDS ON SOM3 FUCK1NG SYCK4SS TR34TS SUCH 4S TH3S3, TH3N G3T UP OFF YOUR F4T 4SS, STOP P4Y1NG FOR FUCK1NG C4BL3 4ND GO M4K3 SOM3TH1NG OUT OF YOUR L1F3 YOU MOTH3RFUCK3R, OR P3RH4PS YOU'R3 JUST SOM3ON3 WHO 3NJOYS W4TCH1NG P3OPL3 COOK, NO ON3 R34LLY C4R3S 31TH3R W4Y, TH3 PO1NT 1S, 1F YOU W4NT TO B4K3 TH1S SH1T, G3T TH3 P4P3R YOU DUNK4SS3S, 1'V3 S33N YOU FUCK3RS TRY1NG TO COOK W1TH FUCK1NG COLOR1NG BOOK P4G3S 4ND 1T'S FUCK1NG D1SGUST1NG

14/02/17
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Dameeram: FUCKING TOASTER STRUDELS, MOOOOOTHERFUUUUUUUUUCKERS!!!!!!

14/02/17
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Dameeram: Hello everyone, and welcome back. Today on Dameeram's Dank Desserts we will be creating....

14/02/17
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Well, guess he's gone, you're hungry as shit but you don't really feel like getting up, or dealing with an asshole of a baker for that matter. That daredevil shit was the best thing you've ever fucking seen, you suppose it wouldn't hurt to flip through the channels and see if there's anything else interesting on

14/02/17
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Hackerman: s0 s0ry what d0 y0u th1nk ab0ut the f1rst ep1s0de?

Soryorux: HOOOOOOOOORY FRRRRUCKIING 2HIIT HACKERMAN, thii2 ii2, the be2t thiing to have ever been created, ii now fully under2tand why we mu2t 2uffer each horriible day wiithiin thii2 dreadful realiity, we do 2o for the 2ake of THII2, THIIII2 2H11T RIIGHT HERE MOTHER FUUUUCKER, thii2, 2hiit, riight, here, my brothe~r, thii2 2hiit riight here.

Hackerman: 0hhhh fuck yes, fuck1ng agreed, 0h and trust me ep1s0de 2 gets a b1t darker but we're g01ng t0 h0ld 0ff 0n that f0r a b1t, apparently there's a new guy 1 need t0 p1ck up at uh.... the usual place, n0t g01ng t0 say 1t 0ut l0ud because apparently 1t's "class1f1ed" 1nf0rmation even th0ugh we're the l1teral 0nly pe0ple 1n the r00m, 1t's bas1cally just s0me bullsh1t they sp0ut t0 make all 0f th1s s0und m0re 1mp0rtant, t0 make me feel as 1f my j0b 1s actually w0rth d01ng, as 1f s0me0ne else c0uldn't eas1ly f1ll my place, but l1ttle d0 they kn0w, 1'm motherFUCK1NG HACKERMAN, they sh0uld be sh0v1ng me up t0 the h1ghest m0therfuck1ng rank and gett1ng me 0n the b1g sh1t 1mmed1ately

Soryorux: hahahaha fuck ye2, ariight ii guess ii'll go diigging through the kiitchen then

Hackerman: s0unds g00d man, aright peace, 0h and, just watch 0ut for the baker, he's a huge d1ck

Soryorux: noted brother

14/02/17
"Plot: Thiccen"

14/02/17
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DareDevil: daddy tongue so big and muscle

BatMan: daddy work hard to provide for other daddy

DareDevil: nya i love you daddy

BatMan: i love you 2 daddy

DareDevil: but daddy busters dont look happy

BatMan: confuse?

14/02/17
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DareDevil: do look like good big daddy

BatMan: so idea good?

DareDevil: idea good, ur daddy, im daddy we two daddy

BatMan: kiss me daddy

DareDevil: k daddy

14/02/17
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BatMan: if ull b mine

14/02/17
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DareDevil: YOU KILLED DADDY, DOUBLE YOU TEE EFF !!!!!

BatMan: was daddy ? sorry didnt know i thought was bad ghost but, wasnt ? i join busters and want to make proud i get bad ghost but this was not bad ghost so im bad now?

DareDevil: i mean it's kind of less black and white than that, you did kill him with good intentions due to the fact that you were under the false pretense that he was a ghost in seek of world domination or the completion of any other nefarious plot so in all honesty it's hard to strictly label you as a "bad person" if you were attempting to do good things, though i suppose it goes without saying that obviously your approach when it comes to this super hero thing as a whole is pretty flawed seeing as you killed him simply based on the fact that he was a ghost and some ghosts are known for being mischievous but even a bit of mischievous behavior wouldn't have been deserving of a death sentence so you really should look into how you go about doing your job, but over all, to answer your question, i wouldn't really claim that you are wholeheartedly a "bad person" but that doesn't change the fact that you've done bad things without intending to do so, personally i forgive you, but, im not happy

BatMan: oh, bee tee double you, i have dead daddy too, not happy

DareDevil: you have dead daddy ?

BatMan: and mum

DareDevil: me mum was dead b4 daddy

BatMan: me parents death equals double kill

DareDevil: im less happy than before when i wasnt happy

BatMan: feel same feel, but have idea

DareDevil: what is idea ?

BatMan: i'll b your daddy...


14/02/17
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DareDevil: DADDY, NO!!!!

Jack: its too late son, im die, make proud plox

DareDevil: ill make proud for you daddy

Jack: thx

14/02/17
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14/02/17
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14/02/17
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Jack: ur words were wise so im back for you son but i'm ghost

DareDevil: daddy you're alive!!!, but ghost? so then that mean that you my.....

14/02/17
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DareDevil: daddy y did u have 2 go from me ? y not just not be not alive anymore daddy y ?

14/02/17
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Hackerman: heeeellllllll yes

13/02/17
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Teretizi: 4NYHOW 1'M GO1NG TO G3T B4CK TO D4M33R4M, 1 C4N'T GO 4NOTH3R S3COND W1THOUT WR4PP1NG H3R UP 1N MY MONSTROUS 4RMS

Hackerman: y0u're such a m0therfucker, alr1ght cya n1gger, 1 need t0 see what's g01ng 0n w1th daredev1l and h1s dead daddy

13/02/17
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Teretizi: SCR3333T, WHO TH3 FUCK 4R3 YOU T4LK1NG TO!? 1S 1T 7!?

Hackerman: n0, als0 d0n't say screet 1n real l1fe that s0unds fuck1ng stup1d, 1 kn0w y0u and damn1wannaram d0 that sh1t back and f0rth f0r fuck1ng h0urs at a t1me but the sec0nd y0u start actually screet1ng 1'm 0ff1c1ally n0t y0ur fuck1ng h0m1e anym0re

Teretizi: 1T'S TOO L4T3, 1'M SCR333T1NG 4LR34DY, LOOK 4T M3 GO, SCR3333T, 4LSO Y3S 1T FUCK1NG 1S 7 YOU MOTH3RFUCK3R YOU DON'T T4LK TO 4NYON3 3LS3 4NYW4Y!

Hackerman: that hurt man, that fuck1ng hurt, alr1ght 1t's 7 why d0 y0u g1ve a sh1t?

Soryorux: hackerman, get back over here, 2hould ii pause the epii2ode? you've seen thiis before anyway riight? ii kiind of want to watch iit wiith you though, the daredeviil ii2 cryiing about hii2 dead daddy

Teretizi: 1GNOR3 SORY FOR 4 S3COND, YOU KNOW D4MN W3LL WHY 1 G1V3 4 SH1T T3LL M3 WH4T H3 S41D YOU DUMB N1GG3R, 4LSO JUST FOR FUTUR3 R3F3R3NC3 1 W4NT TO PO1NT OUT HOW R3T4RD3D 1T 1S TH4T W3 L1T3R4LLY H4V3 P3OPL3 1N CONT4CT W1TH TH3 P3RSON 4TT3MPT1NG TO RUL3 TH3 3NT1R3 FUCK1NG WORLD 4ND 3NSL4V3 3V3RYON3'S M1NDS 4ND BOD13S TO B3 US3D 4S H1S OWN W31RD F3T1SH TOYS, 4ND W3 JUST H4V3 TH3S3 FUCK1NG P3TTY 4SS CONV3RS4T1ONS W1TH H1M CONST4NTLY 4BOUT TH3 STUP1D3ST SH1T 1M4G1N4BL3, 1 M34N TH3 G4M3 WORLD M4D3 L1F3 F33L PO1NTL3SS BUT GOD D44444MN

Hackerman: man 1'm fuck1ng 1tch1ng t0 get 0ver there and laugh my ass 0ff w1th s0ry, but yeah all 0f th1s really 1s retarded, anyway 7 bas1cally just sa1d we're all a bunch 0f w0rms that he's g01ng t0 squeeze 0r s0mething l1ke that, 1'll c0py the messages t0 y0u but d0n't g0 scream1ng at h1m cause y0ur ph0ne d0esn't have s0me we1rd pl0t arm0r hack th1ng that keeps 1t fr0m be1ng traced

Teretizi: TH3N WHY'D YOU H4V3 TO GO TO CH1N4 B3FOR3 JUST TO M3SS4G3 TH3 FUCK3R? NOT TO M3NT1ON COULDN'T 1 JUST US3 YOUR PHON3 TO M3SS4G3 H1M, 1F YOU DON'T W4NT M3 ON YOUR FUCK1NG 4CCOUNT 1 COULD JUST LOG 1N ON M1N3, 4ND S331NG 4S H3'S B4S1C4LLY TH3 ONLY P3RSON ON YOUR CHUMROLL 4S1D3 FROM SOM3 R4NDOM FUCK3RS 1'V3 N3V3R H34RD OF B3FOR3 4ND R34LLY DON'T G1V3 4 D4MN 4BOUT, 3V3N TH4T SHOULDN'T B3 TH4T B1G 4 D34L

Hackerman: what can 1 say man, retardat10n 1s a myster10us f0rce

Teretizi: W3LL 1 C4N'T 4RGU3 W1TH TH4T, 4LR1GHT FUCK 7 FOR NOW, FOR ONC3 1'M NOT CONC3RN3D W1TH H1S BULLSH1T

Hackerman: als0 my ph0ne n0w messages thr0ugh s0me sh1tty 1p 1n ch1na, 1t sh0uld h0nestly be easy t0 fuck1ng trace 1t all back t0 me 1f he actually fuck1ng tr1ed, but see1ng as he's a dumb cunt... ykn0

Teretizi: PFFFFFFFF SO TH3N TH3 MYST3R1OUS FORC3S OF R3T4RD4T1ON R34LLY D1D PL4Y 4 P4RT 1N TH1S, 4LSO 1'V3 GOT 4 V1D3O FOR YOU NOW

Hackerman: 0h fuck me, here we g0

13/02/17
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-- aspiringAnarchist [AA] began threatening personificationEncrypted [PE] at 4:35 --

AA: Knock knock
PE: wh00000's there? 1s 1t a m0therfucker??? cause 1've g0t h11111gh h0pes that 1've guessed c0rrectly
AA: No, i7's 7, I jus7 came over 7o say hi, I'd like 7o kindly 7ell you 7ha7 7his video you've sen7 me is fucking repulsive and 7ha7 7he man in 7he video will be dead shor7ly. :)
PE: 000h that sm1ley th0ugh, mmmmmmmmmmmffffuck h1t me r1ght where 1t hurts, fuuuuuck meeeee. s0 anyh0w what y0u're say1ng 1s, 1'd guessed 1t c0rrectly all al0ng, there 1s 1ndeed a m0therfucker at my d00rstep, where's my g0ld star at, eh m0therfucker? 0h 1 f0rg0t, due t0 rac1al pr0h1b1t10ns, m0therfucker's aren't capable 0f g1v1ng 0r rece1v1ng n0r ever p0ssess1ng g0ld stars, that's a fuck1ng shame
AA: FUCK YOU, YOU RECEIVE NO S7ARS, YOU FIL7H, I'm, I'm going 7o kill you, I'm going 7o 7ake off 7hose s7upid li77le glasses of yours AND GOUGE OU7 YOUR EYES! I'm going 7o fucking murderrrr you, I'm going 7o fucking build a 7ime machine, AND SEND YOU BACK IN 7IME 7O RAPE YOURSELF! youuuuuuu wooorm, always wriggling 7hrough my fiiiingers always wrrrrriggling and wreees7ling agains7 me, I'm going 7o pulllll your li77le slimy body apar7 sloooowly, wa7ching as your gu7s pour from your s7omach, your li77le wormy flesh 7eeeearing a7 7he seams! You're disgus7ing, you and your joey, him, and his super BAD food reviews!
PE: j0ey 1s a walk1ng cluster 0f pure unsaturated d1abetes, m0therfucker takes up the wh0le a1sle 1n walmart, c0ated 1n three layers 0f th1ck fuck1ng grease, just fuck1ng slathered 1n the sh1t, y0u can smell h1m fr0m three a1sles away, y0u can hear h1m w001ng when he stumbles up0n the 0re0s, he just starts ch0w1ng d0wn r1ght fuck1ng there 1n the m1ddle 0f the a1sle, y0u can hear the d1stant screams 0f nearby sh0ppers pass1ng by the h0rr1f1c scene, 1'm n0t g01ng t0 defend fuck1ng j0ey 1n any way shape 0r f0rm. als0 y0u fuck1n g0t me, call1ng ME d1sgust1ng after descr1b1ng my gr0tesque w0rm death w1th a c0ns1derable am0unt 0f deta1l, l00ks l1ke 1'm be1ng put 1nt0 the FUCK1NG deep fryer here, 0h and, 1f y0u t00k my glasses 0ff, y0u'd never get the pleasure 0f k1ll1ng hackerman, th1s 1s hackerman after all, y0u hate h1m d0n't y0u, y9u hate me, hackerman, right?
AA: What the FUCK was 7haaaaa7 confusing bullllshi7 supposed 7o mean!? OBVIOUSLY you're re7arded, OF COURSE I HA7E YOU! Anyhow, I will now review joey's review, and I say, his review ge7s 0/10 woo woos, no woo woos for Joey, when i7 comes 7o Joey's woo woo coun7, no7 a single woo woo will be rewarded on 7his day.
PE: that's f0ur w00 w00s and c0unt1ng, s0unds l1ke y0u m1ght see s0meth1ng 1n y0ur h0meb0y j0ey after all. Anyh0w 1'm k1nd 0f try1ng t0 catch up w1th my pal s0ry 0ver here s0 1f y0u c0uld qu1t talk1ng t0 me ab0ut fuck1ng f00d rev1ews f0r maybe l1ke, an h0ur 0r s0, that'd be 1nterest1ng, 1 th0ught y0u had "better sh1t t0 d0" anyway, 0r what the fuck ever 1t 1s that th0se wh0 fall under the categ0ry 0f "m0therfucker" get up t0 after stat1ng that they have "1mp0rtant bus1ness t0 attend t0", hell f0r all 1 kn0w perhaps th1s 1s what y0u meant, just resp0nd1ng t0 all 0f the sh1tty vide0s we send y0u
AA: I... WHA7, FUCK YOU!! I'LL FUCKING KILLLL YOU, I'M, I'M LEAVING NOW, I HAVE, IMPOR7AN7 7HINGS 7O BE DOING, I KNOW YOU'RE 7RYING 7O DRAG ME DOWN AND WAS7E MY 7IME AND, I'M BUSY, SO, GOODBYE! I don'7 have 7ime for you dumb kids and your silly games anyhow, all so, young, and, s7upid! I'm 7he smar7 one wi7h 7he BIG PLANS HERE, I'm 7he one who spends every waking momen7 of his life MAKING 7HIS WORLD PEEEEERFEC7, FOR YOU, YOU AND ALLLLL 7HE LI77LE PEOPLE, I'M 7HE ONE WHO DOES 7HE 7HINGS!!!!!! And you'd beeeee777er fucking recognize. ,'B^l

-- aspiringAnarchist [AA] ceased threatening personificationEncrypted [PE] at 4:52 --

13/02/17
"==>"

I wish you could be here to experience this, oh my goodness~

13/02/17
"==>"

What's this.... OH.... OH GOD.... UHM, you, you cannot continue watching this, NOT because it has any actual affect on you, that would be ridiculous, instead it is because it is a enormous waste of your time and..... you have, more important, things to do than..... WHY DOES THIS VIDEO EXIST? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FFFFFFF- no, it doesn't matter, you have business to attend to, you are an important person, you are THE MOST important person, you do NOT have time for this, that's a reasonable excuse right? You're almost certain that's a reasonable excuse for not watching this video, not to imply that you couldn't watch through this if you had the time, you can handle this... this is... EEEEEUUUUGH FUUUUUCK YOU WILL NEVER LOOK AT CHICKEN THE SAME WAY AGAIN, THIS IS FUCKING TRAUMATIZING, THIS IS FUCKING WORLD SHATTERING, THIS MAN NEEDS TO BE FUCKING MURDERED IMMEDIATELY, THIS PERSON SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO WALK YOUR GOOD EARTH, FUCK, IF THERE'S ONE GOOD THING YOU WILL HAVE EVER DONE ON THIS MISERABLE FUCKING PLANET IT WILL HAVE BEEN BEING THE ONE TO THROW THIS MAN OFF OF IT AND INTO THE FUCKING VOID, GOOD FUCK YOU CAN HEAR HIS SOUL FUCKING SCREAMING EVERY TIME HIS JAWS SHUT AROUND THAT FUCKING BISCUIT, YOU CAN HEAR HIS BODY QUITTING ON HIM, EVERY MUSCLE IN HIS FUCKING FACE SIMPLY CEASING TO GIVE A SINGULAR SHIT, THIS IS MORTIFYING

13/02/17
"==>"


Hackerman: a1ght fuck1ng f1nally we g0t all that sh1t s0rted 0ut, by the way never s1ng an0ther w0rd aga1n, y0u're fuck1ng terr1ble

Soryorux: ii'm a fuckiing vocal godde22, you're cleaarly jealou2 of my 1mpeccable talent, WE'VE KNOWN EACHOTHER... FOR SO LONNGGGGGGGGGGG-

Hackerman: N0, FFFUUUCK that

Soryorux: waiitup though brother, run thii2 by me one la2t fuckiin tiime, the 2py kiid2 3 2hiit, you're not bull2hiittiing me iin the 2lighte2t? everythiing that'2 happened 2o far ha2 been 2ome iincrediibly 2hiitty game?

Hackerman: yeah dude that's bas1cally the g1st 0f th1ngs, everyth1ng that's happened f0r y0u s0 far has been completely p01ntless f0r the m0st part, as1de from the 0bvi0us effects 1t's had 0n y0ur pers0nal1t1es and such, 1t's just, fuck1ng stup1d, h0pefully 7 enj0yed every last sec0nd 0f that v1de0, not that 1t w1ll ever make up f0r the years y0u guys have l0st, 0r the years 1 d1dn't get t0 spend w1th y0u fuckers

Soryorux: yea, iit'2 goiing to be really hard giiving two 2hiit2 about anythiing after learniing my entiire liife wa2 ju2t not really a fucking thiing, not that ii really gave a damn even when ii had beliieved ii wa2 actually aliive, by the way... who are you agaiin?

Hackerman: 1'm fuck1ng hackerman, y0u d0n't remember me? 1'm l1ke y0ur best fuck1ng fr1end

Soryorux: haha you motherfucker, ii diidn't even know ii wa2 iin a fuckiing game that entiire tiime, that wa2 my fuckiing life, how would ii remember who the fuck thii2 niigger iin an eye ma2k ii2?

Hackerman: well 1 mean 1t just k1nd 0f sucks fr0m my perspect1ve see1ng as 1've been want1ng t0 hang 0ut w1th my g00d 0ld buddy f0r a fuck1ng year 0r tw0 n0w and suddenly he just stra1ght up f9rgets wh0 1 am, everyth1ng 1've d0ne s0 far has been t0 get y0ur ass 0ut 0f there, h0nestly 1 w0uldn't have real1zed h0w 1mp0rtant hav1ng a c0unter f0rce aga1nst 7 was 1f 1t weren't f0r my cl0sest m0therfucker be1ng sc00ped up 1nt0 that bullsh1t, 0therw1se me and y0u w0uld have just h1t the r0ad, dr0pp1ng by small d1ners n sh1t as we travelled cr0ss c0untry, av01ding ever gett1ng caught up 1n th1s rev0lut10nary bullsh1t, that's just n0t h0w we used t0 r0ll

Soryorux: that 2ound2 tame a2 fuck, my heart ii2 fuckiing 2hattered knowiing ii wa2n't here to be a part of that, ii can iimagiine every waffle hou2e ii could have been to wiith you over the year2, there'2 ju2t an iinde2criibable feeliing you get eatiing at waffle hou2e on a 2low niight 2hiift, fuckiin 12 pm, walkiing iin on a biitter night iinto the warm briightly liit waffle hou2e, all heavy eyed tiired a2 fuck, ju2t a 2mall coffee and three huge fuckiing pancake2 envelopiing your face iin theiir warmth like a miiniiature 2un of pure cakey magniifiicence, even ju2t the 2ound2 of the kiitchen a2 food ii2 prepared for the few, perhap2 two or three other2, the 2ound2 of a 2low, peaceful niight at wafflehou2e knowiing damn well you'll be headiing off to another hotel room iin whiich you'll 2pend only a niight before hiittiing the road yet agaiin goiing god know2 where. You know maybe iif you weren't weariing that fuckiing eye ma2k, maybe that'd help me to remember you, even iif only 2liightly, iit'2 worth a try riight?

Hackerman: FUCK YEEEESS TO THAT WAFFLEHOUSE SH1T, but, what, what the hell, my eye mask?

Soryorux: your eye ma2k, and maybe the gla22e2 a2 well, that 2hiit, you know what an eye ma2k ii2 riight?

Hackerman: n0, 1 kn0w what 1t 1s, 1 just... th1s 1s me, why w0uld tak1ng 1t 0ff help y0u t0 remember me, if th1s 1s wh0 1 am?

Soryorux: the fuck do you mean thii2 ii2 who you are?

Hackerman: I'M hackerman, l00k at me, th1s 1s me, 1 am hackerman

Soryorux: well would you miind allowiing me to 2ee what you look liike under your acce22orie2 hackerman? iif iit'2 really that biig a fuckiing deal that'2 alright ii gue22, never mind

Hackerman: n0, 1 mean, 1'M fuck1ng hackerman, th1s 1s me, th1s 1s hackerman, 1 am hackerman, there sh0uldn't be any reas0n f0r me t0 take th1s sh1t 0ff, that w0uldn't make any sense, th1s 1s hackerman, th1s 1s me

Soryorux: what the fuck do you mean by 2ayiing that'2 you? obviiou2ly you look diifferent under that fucuckiing ma2k

Hackerman: 1 AM hackerman

Soryorux: haha that doe2n't make any fuckiing 2en2e brother, iif iit'2 really that biig a deal though okay fuck iit we can ju2t chat and catch up on 2hiit, even iif ii can't remember you we can 2tiill be tiight a2 fuack

Hackerman: yeah alr1ght, but 1 really d0n't understand why y0u can't grasp th1s shit, 1'm fuck1ng hackerman, end 0f st0ry

Soryorux: pfff okkkkay man whatever the fuck you 2ay motherfucker

Teretizi: W41T, WH4T TH3 FUCK 4R3 YOU GUYS T4LK1NG 4BOUT OV3R TH3R3 >:?

Hackerman: n0th1ng dude d0n't w0rry ab0ut 1t, was just catch1n s0ry up 0n the sw0rd art 0nline bullsh1t

Teretizi: YOU W3R3 T4LK1NG 4BOUT 7 THOUGH, 1 H334RRRD YOU MOTH3RFUCK3R, WH4T'S UP W1TH 7?

Hackerman: 1t'd be k1nd 0f hard t0 catch any0ne up 0n th1s sh1t WITH0UT ment10ning 7's name, but bas1cally we sent h1m th1s fuck1ng g0ld m1ne 0f a v1de0, s0me sh1tty never g0nna g1ve y0u up kara0ke t0 fuck w1th h1m after 1 busted s0ry 0ut, here 1'll dr0p the l1nk 1n the d1sc0rd real qu1ck

Teretizi: OH..... OH HOLY SH1T, HOLY FUCK H4H4H4H4H4H4 TH1S, TH1S 1S FUCK1NG 1NCR3D1BL3, BUT, YOU, YOU'V3 GOTT4 S3R1OUSLY FUCK W1TH H1M, YOU H4V3 TO S3ND H1M SOM3TH1NG FUCK1NG M1ND NUMB1NGLY T3RR1BL3

Soryorux: a piicture of my double d?

Hackerman: n0 fuck that s0ry, y0u want me t0 h00k h1m up w1th s0me 0f that we1rd russ1an p0rn?

Teretizi: NO HON3STLY H3'D PROB4BLY SOM3HOW G3T OFF TO 4 WOM4N SHOV1NG 4 H41RBRUSH H34D 1NTO H3R PUSSY, NOT TO M3NT1ON H3 PROB4BLY FUCK1NG LOV3S B3ST14L1TY, 4LMOST 4S MUCH 4S H3'S 1NTO FUCK1NG 1NC3ST SH1T

Soryorux: haha what the fuck

Hackerman: then what d0 y0u want me t0 send h1m m0therfucker?

Teretizi: >:]

12/02/17
"==>"

WHA7 7HE ABSOLU7E FUCK IS 7HIS GARBAGE

12/02/17
"==>"



12/02/17
"==>"

Fucking finally, carrying this shit up here was a pain in the ass, you shouldn't have had Michael shoot himself before going to get this, not to mention you may have been in time to intercept hackerman had you just headed down there immediately.... FUCK, no, you have this under control, wait..... what the fuck is this?

09/02/17
"==>"

Suddenly the only thing that actually matters is that you're fucking awesome, the only information you would currently use against yourself would be the fact that the previous text walls even exist in the first place

09/02/17
"==>"

You head back to your room after fucking deeevouring your pie feast. You turn back on your computer and decide to update your comic with a fourth wall breaking segment only because you wanted your syck bars to live on forever, the story of the three pies is now engraved upon this comic. Oh great now time has caught up with you and you feel really fucking sad, just sitting here writing about a fictional version of you who's writing about a fictional version of you thus causing a really shitty paradox, and now it's 5 AM, you told yourself you were gonna go to fucking sleep back when it was 3, now you're gonna wake up at like 12 PM again and the virgin from virginia who you decided to write this entire shitty update about will just be all upset with you for waking up super late when you told her you were going to sleep right after she left. You're not honestly sure why she likes you, or why anyone likes you for that matter, whether it be as a friend or as a lover. You don't really hate yourself like some of these motherfuckin edgelords you're surrounded by, but your head is constantly cluttered with mountains of information you use against yourself, you just hope no one ever calls you out for the same reasons you do because you'd probably just have a mental fucking breakdown, especially if it were her, though you guess she doesn't really seem to look too deep into who you really are, you suppose that's probably why she likes you at all, just because you're there... well, now you're making yourself sad again, this is fucking stupid, it's about time you go to sleep, you already know you'll just be lying there fully awake for the next thirty minutes thinking about stuff like this, looking back on every conversation you've had the past week, everything you've said to everyone and all of the different ways they could have perceived what you'd said, trying to rewrite every conversation you've ever had to make yourself sound better to.... yourself, before eventually passing the fuck out and forgetting it all again, one example you can think of right off the top of your head is the time earlier today in which you told her you were upset with yourself for loving her, she seemed really upset about that, what you were trying to say is that you normally don't love someone to the point in which it would actually hurt you to lose them, it hurts you knowing there's something you could lose that would actually have an effect on you, and thus you are mad at yourself for falling in love and giving yourself something to lose, but of course you don't regret being with her in the slightest, because you love her to death, but so does everyone else it seems, every time she's approached by someone who insists they love her as well you suddenly feel completely empty, you realize that all you have to give her is your love, there's nothing more you have for her, if everyone loves her and all you have to give her is your love then it's without doubt someone who has more to offer could come by at any moment, she has no reason to convince herself that your love is worth more to her than another's. You realize the more you think this over you honestly just make it an even bigger deal for yourself thus giving yourself more to lose when she inevitably decides you're a lameass son a bitch. Oh absolutely fucking incredible, here you are again, stacking the odds against yourself, making yourself feel fucking miserable, you're just.... there, you're there for her to say she loves you, so she does... who knows what she really thinks about you, how she criticizes you on her own terms, you're left to just wonder and worry, worry over every little thing you say to her, so instead, you choose to act as if you don't care how your actions effect those around you, simply doing as you please with no regard for those who dare to oppose you, you simply tell them how you feel until they accept that and move on, constantly rephrasing your point until it clicks with them and causes them to either simply accept what you've said or to give up in their attempt to persuade you otherwise. For the most part this seems to work, acting as if you don't really care either way, without being someone who blatantly states that they just "don't care" instead showing it through the actions you take, to you, "not caring" does not mean that you go out of your way to make sure no one can understand your emotions, or to purposely avoid stating your own opinions, not caring is doing all of the above without any regard for the effect is has on yourself or those around you. In reality, you care that they know that you don't care even though you so obviously do, you mask this by acting as if you care so fucking much about every little detail that it loses all purpose to those around you, even if you yourself still have feelings relating to the things that you have taken purpose away from, such as the one you love.... you act as if your relationship to you, is just something that is..... there, but, you really do love her, you spend every second of your life thinking about her and how she feels about you now.... and in reality, that's actually really selfish, always worrying about what she thinks about you, to the point in which she never gets to know how you feel about her, instead your feelings seem as blank as "i care about how you feel about me and that's how i feel about you", and maybe in the end that's just the truth, it's very hard to describe your emotions toward her, perhaps one way would just be to tell her that you love her, which you do, constantly, to the point where you fear that too may lose meaning at some point, and when it comes to the point in which the only thing you have to give her is meaningless, well.. you really don't want to think about that. Another way you can think of expressing your love for her would be.... well, this text wall in itself, this whole thing makes it horrifyingly obvious how much you really care for her, hopefully she can see that too when she reads it, or perhaps she'll take this all the wrong way and hate you for it, who knows, honestly you don't think she actually cares whether or not you think about her like this, you're just there to her anyway.... why would all of this matter. You are constantly approached by the "emotionless edgy teens who don't care about anything" type of people, you attempt to convince them to just accept the fact that they have emotions, that no matter how hard you try to obscure them in order to make yourself happy, you will find yourself more miserable than ever before, that it's not worth trying to convince yourself that you honestly believe nothing has purpose, even if that is indeed true, it's better to blind yourself from that fact, although in your case you always just call yourself out on your attempts to blind yourself from your feelings and make yourself feel bad for doing so, you know in reality you can never actually ever convince yourself not to feel, and even if everything is pointless, even if nothing can ever have purpose.... you think you'd still rather be able to feel, you'd rather not be able to fully accept the truth, of course the edgy teens usually just respond with "meh" so you're just spouting nonsense to someone who's going to ignore everything you say, you're not sure why you want them to accept their emotions anyway, you're not sure why it seems to matter to you, maybe it has something to do with how they go on and on about how they have "problems" that they don't care about, of course those problems are usually just "i have depression and........ life is hard", you attempt to ask them what about life is hard to them, what do they think could have caused they're depression, but in response they usually just tell you "i have problems" again, so, yeah..... they're real cool fuckin dudes, which just sort of brings you back to your previous point.... why do you care? Maybe you don't really, maybe you just enjoy talking your ass off, maybe you actually like watching as they're unable to come up with a significant response, and yes, you do understand how the fact that you're writing this right now makes you an edgy teen yourself, just as much as they are, fucking hell. Wow, now it's 6 AM, you really need to get to bed. Woah holy shit, your friend just sent you a video of himself reading this entire wall of text while you were still updating it, it's all being read by a text to speech program, that really puts into perspective how ridiculous this entire wall of text is, it's all terribly written, flooded with run on sentences and cluttered with the same points constantly being reused against yourself, but seeing as this is a representation of what's running through your head before you fall asleep, you think this might just be perfectly fitting for this specific wall of text, god you really don't ever shut up do you

09/02/17
"==>"

You decide to say you came out to get a drink and noticed the pie instead of spitting sycknasty bars that honestly wouldn't make any sense to her and would probably just come across as really fucking weird, when suddenly you remember that you were just thinking about how you would respond in the event that your mother actually woke up, there's still 20 seconds left on the microwave and you just click end before it beeps

09/02/17
"==>"

09/02/17
"==>"

You suddenly start thinking of different ways you could describe what you're up to although her question was obviously rhetorical and she's just pissed you're still up

09/02/17
"==>"

Suddenly your mother walks out from her bedroom and asks you what the fuck you're doing in the kitchen at 4 am

09/02/17
"==>"

You forgot about the microwave and suddenly it begins screaming like a wandering soul in search of a distant savior, you're fucked

09/02/17
"==>"

09/02/17
"==>"

There's an apple pie just sort of sitting there on the stove

09/02/17
"==>"

You set the timer on the microwave to 3 minutes and proceed to pour yourself a glass of water, when suddenly something catches your eye

09/02/17
"==>"

You open the fridge to retrieve the water jug when you suddenly notice the shepherd's pie which the rest of your family most likely had for dinner, you of course missed out on this because you wake up at 12 am like a fucking creature, guess you'll just pop this in the microwave

09/02/17
"==>"

Your name is Boomer, and you are the author of this comic, well, no you're not, teretizi is, this is just the you that you are when you aren't being teretizi, and also just so happens to also not really be you in any way aside from the fact that you like to say that it's you, in all honesty you look like a dave strider ripoff but you honestly don't give a shit, this guy isn't even a homestuck oc or some shit, fuck ocs, no, this guy... he's just you, except he's not you, except he sort of is and always has been, but, oh fuck this. At the moment you're heading to the kitchen to grab a glass of water before you head off to bed

09/02/17
"Author: Go To Bed"

09/02/17
"==>"

08/02/17
"==>"

FUCK, FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK, alright.... this is fine.... just, FUCK!

08/02/17
"==>"

Oh.... oh no, no no no no no no, this can't be fucking real

08/02/17
"==>"


7: Guess 7ha7's one way 7o ge7 down the s7airs quickly.

08/02/17
"==>"

IT JUST KEEPS HAPPENING

08/02/17
"==>"


7: OH FUCK ME.

08/02/17
"7: Descend Staircase"

You descend the stairs carefully, you've heard rumors about the looming threat staircases pose to humanity as a whole, and you're not taking any chances.

08/02/17
"==>"


7: Well I suppose I need 7o grab a new compu7er from 7he basemen7, 7hankfully I was already on my way down 7here anyhow... i7's going 7o be a real pain in 7he ass moving sory's bed 7hough.

08/02/17
"==>"


7: Good boy.

08/02/17
"==>"

08/02/17
"==>"


7: Go on 7hen Michael.... pull the 7rigger.

Michael: I don't want to do this Seven, I don't want to do this.

7: Pull 7he 7rigger Michael.

Michael: Please just, let me go Seven, just, please, please let me go.

7: PULL 7HE FUCKING 7RIGGER MICHAEL.

08/02/17
"==>"


Michael: Seven I, I can't.

7: You're pa7hetic Michael.

Michael: I know I am Seven..... I know I am.

7: 7hen end i7, and perhaps by the 7ime you're freed from heaven you'll have become a be77er man, 7hough I doubt i7, in all hones7y, i7 would more 7han likely 7ransform you in7o an even bigger pussy 7han you already are, bu7 if I were you, I'd roll 7hose dice, Michael.

Michael: I...

7: You'd be77er hurry up Michael, as I'd said before, I'd be happy 7o do i7 for you, bu7 hey, a7 least you won'7 be living in an alley, righ7 Michael?

Michael: Seven please, just, just let me leave here alive.

7: I'm sorry Michael, but i7's too la7e for 7ha7 now, hurry up and make your decision.

Michael: I........

7: Tick tock Michael.

Michael: I'll do it.

08/02/17
"==>"


Michael: Seven, you know I need this job, you've decreased the minimal wage of every other paying job to six dollars and sixty six cents, people are living on the streets Seven, I can't get by without this job.

7: I know Michael, ge7 ou7 of my office.

Michael: I'll be living in an alley without this job Seven.

7: 7hen end your own miserable life Michael, IF YOU CAN'7 SURVIVE WI7HOU7 ME 7HEN 7AKE YOUR LIFE RIGH7 HERE AND NOW YOU SORRY SON OF BI7CH, pull 7he fucking 7rigger Michael, see if I flinch.

Michael: S-seven I...

7: Do i7 Michael, put an end 7o your miserable exis7ence.

Michael: I... I..

7: DO I7 OR I'LL DO I7 FOR YOU MICHAEL.

08/02/17
"==>"

Michael: Trapezoidal trapezoids, that was a good one Seven..... you are kidding right?

7: No Michael, ge7 ou7 of my office.

08/02/17
"==>"


7: Hey.... Michael......... guess wha7.

Michael: Spherical spheres, what ever could it be?

7: You're fired Michael.

08/02/17
"==>"


Michael: Circles are round because science says they're round, what is it you need this time Seven?

08/02/17
"==>"


7: HEY MICHAEL GE7 YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!

08/02/17
"==>"

08/02/17
"==>"


7: YOU, YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU, fuck you, I'm going 7o fucking KILL you when I find you, no, NO, I'M GOING 7O SHOVE YOU IN7O 7HA7 GAME MYSELF, and wa7ch as you relive your miserable life and dea7h oooover and oooover AND OVER AGAIN!!!

Hackerman: a1ght fuck y0u t00, 1 n0t1ced he wasn't 1n 7he ma1n r00m w1th every9ne else

7: WHO, WHO ARE YOU 7ALKING ABOU7!? No, never mind, I don'7 care, i7 doesn'7 ma77er, YOU'LL BE DEAD SOON ANYWAY! Well, no7 really dead bu7, in all hones7y i7 will be much worse 7han dea7h.

Hackerman: y0u kn0w exactly wh0 1'm talk1ng ab0ut, he's l1terally the 0nly 0ne y0u aren't keep1ng 1n the central area, y0u kn0w f0r a fact 1 want my number 0ne n1gger back

7: Oh.... HIM, AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAH! I'd head down s7airs and kill him righ7 now if i7 weren'7 for 7he fac7 7ha7 I'd lose my abili7y 7o 7or7ure him myself.

Hackerman: 0h c00l s0 he's just d0wn sta1rs 1'll be 0ver there 1n a b1t

7: Wha7? OH.... no, I-I mean, FUCK! Wai7, no, i7 doesn'7 ma77er 7ha7 you know where he is, you won'7 ge7 7o him anyway, if you dare even 7rryyyyy you know damn well I'd have you righ7 where I wan7 you.

Hackerman: yea 1 kn0w 1'll f1gure 1t 0ut as 1 g0 al0ng, 0h hey by the way

7: Hmm?

Hackerman: FUCK y0u m0therFUCKER

7: WHA7, I, FUCK YOU 7OO!!!!!

Hackerman: hey uh by the way, qu1ck quest10n

7: No, I am no7 answering any7hing.

Hackerman: a1ght well 1'm g0nna ask y0u anyway, what 1s 1t exactly y0u ga1n 0ut 0f all th1s? l1ke are y0u really d01ng all 0f th1s just because y0u get 0ff t0 1t, are y0u really g01ng th1s fuck1ng far just f0r the sake 0f y0ur s1ck d0m1nat10n fet1sh?

7: I DON'7 HAVE A DOMINA7ION FE7ISH! 7hese people are all my bi7ches, including you, and 7ha7 is simply a fac7, whe7her I wan7 7hem 7o be or no7 doesn'7 ac7ually ma77er, 7hey jus7, ARE!!!! So fucking deal wi7h i7, bu7 when i7 comes 7o wha7 i'm "7rying 7o achieve" you should already know, I was pu7 in charge here, basically pu7 in charge of 7his en7ire silly li77le world of ours, mine, of mine, excuse me, 7his world is mine, bu7 anyhow, I was pu7 in charge of wha7 is now MY world wi7h one simple 7ask, and 7ha7 7ask is 7o bring 7his world as close 7o "perfec7ion" as possible.

Hackerman: s0 then h0w'd that manage t0 g0 s0 fuck1ng terr1bly wr0ng?

7: Wha7 ever do you mean? 7his is my perfec7 world. Also I'd like 7o add 7ha7 none of 7his really sounds like some7hing you'd say.

Hackerman: yeah uh, t1z1 t0ld me n0t t0 tell y0u that 1 was read1ng 0ut her text t0 y0u cause y0u'd pr0bly just refuse t0 resp0nd

7: WAI7, WHA7!!? FUCK YOU!!!!! FUCK HER 7OO, FUCK ALL OF YOU!

Hackerman: l0s1ng y0ur temper man?

7: E-excuuuuuuse me? No, no no, never, I've go7 every7hing comple7ely under con7rol, and 7hus, I'm done here, I have a compu7er 7o fix and a world 7o main7ain.

Hackerman: ykn0, 1 w0uld just flat 0ut 1gn0re y0ur bullsh1t ent1rely 1f 1t weren't f0r the fact that y0u p0se an actual threat t0 my l1fe and 0r mental fuck1ng stab1l1ty, and 0n that n0te, as much as 1 really d0n't want t0 1nvest myself 1n th1s wh0le th1ng between y0u and t1z1, y0u really are a m0therfucker, 1 just want y0u t0 kn0w that, y0u're a fuck1ng terr1ble pers0n

7: Like I'd said before, my job is 7o crea7e a perfec7 world, 7his is my perfec7 world, and wi7h 7ha7 being said, I'M 7HE ONE DOING 7HE RIGH7 7HING HERE, you and your li77le group of "rebels" you're wha7's wrong wi7h 7his world, and by 7he 7ime my 7or7ure finally ends, by 7he 7ime every las7 one of you rebels has 7aken your final brea7hs, I will already be s7anding upon a pedes7al, receiving praise from 7he millions i have saved, receiving praise.... from 7he millions I have fough7 for, receiving praise for having worked 7hrough 7hese despera7e 7imes, for pushing myself 7o the limi7 for 7heir sake and abolishing 7he rebels who 7hreatened our perfec7 world.... my, perfec7 world.

Hackerman: w0w, w0w.... y0u're actually fuck1ng h0rr1ble, y0u're just.... d1sgust1ng

7: :)



07/02/17
"==>"

Wait, what the fuck is this bullshit

07/02/17
"7: Just sort of turn on your computer"

You just sort of... turn it back on

07/02/17
"==>"

Thank goodness it's finally turned off, you thought you'd never see the end of that infuriating megaman garbage, oh great your coffee has spilled all over your excellent desk..... never mind that for now though, you have more important things to worry about

07/02/17
"==>"


7: Oh, incredible, i7 seems 7ere7izi and johan's capsules have been unlocked, and 7hey've already escaped............... when I ge7 my hands on 7hem i'm going 7o 7ear 7he skin off hackerman's cock and shove i7 down his greasy li77le face, 7or7uring him every momen7 of his life un7il he finally accep7s his place as my personal li77le bi7ch 7oy, jus7 as every o7her living 7hing should, and even7ually will......... all in due 7ime.............. oh my confounded rambling, I mus7 7end 7o 7he simula7ion immedia7ely, hopefully my compu7er is reboo7ed by now........

07/02/17
"==>"

07/02/17
"==>"

07/02/17
"==>"

07/02/17
"==>"

07/02/17
"Hero: Confront Angels"

07/02/17
"==>"

Your name is DiligentlyDisastrous, you are currently carefully plotting the end of your universe as a whole, things like this need to be handled delicately, and thus, you have not made any attempts to disturb the already dreadfully unstable balance of your universe, for you do not wish to drag out it's death, causing yourself and every other living thing within it to suffer a slow excruciatingly painful end, as if everything that exists were to have it's nails plucked one at a time and then slowly pushed into it's pupils, no, you would much rather this world simply...... cease to exist as a whole. You are heaven's caretaker, not many have visited your boss room for quite a while though, seeing as you have scaled the angels' levels to a ludicrous extreme, not even the most foolish of warriors dare to enter heaven. Although there is one peculiar individual who seems to be causing a substantially large amount of trouble, he did not enter heaven willingly, but it seems even after having suffered an abrupt end to his life on earth and having his level reset to 0 upon his entering of heaven's yard, he has amassed quite the staggering amount of experience slaying even your mightiest angels, and thus, you are a bit busy thwarting this ever present threat to your progression. Alas ever since your soul was split in order for you to handle the trouble being caused on earth, you have not had much power to expend in short bursts, and thus your army's power has been slowly increasing over time, although when it comes to growing an army this is the optimal route as you are given time to carefully decide what to do with your ever growing swarm, and although the caretaker of hell has also split her soul in two causing her armies to be nearly equal to that of your own, this new warrior has been given the upper hand due to your inability to take immediate action, almost as if his level rises with that of the angels, constantly giving him a balanced fight with a hefty bundle of orblets awaiting him at the end of each battle, this disgusts you, his sheer lack of respect for your carefully constructed realm is appalling, watching as he prances around ravaging the foundations of the world you have worked tirelessly to construct, it infuriates you. And thus you do not really have time for this exposition, although in reality this entire wall of text describing your thoughts does not actually exist and has had no effect on time in the slightest, but either way, let's move things along.

07/02/17
"==>"


Porriamond: THE ASIAN POLICE

07/02/17
"==>"


Porriamond: if you don't pay up those swastikas immediately i'm going to call the police

06/02/17
"==>"


Porriamond: IIIIIIII'M AAAAAAAAAASIAN

Hackerman: 1'm g01ng t0 steal these 1f y0u keep th1s up

Porriamond: no no no listen, you seem to be confused, i.... AM AN ASIAN

Hackerman: fuck y0u man

Porriamond: I LIVE IN, ASIA, EVERY DAY, IS, AN ASIAN DAY, EVERY STORE IS, AN ASIAN STORE, EVERY WORD I SPEAK IS, AN ASIAN WORD, EVERY BREATH, AN ASIAN BREATH, I, AM, AN ASIAN

Hackerman: FUCK y0u, you f1lthy slut

Porriamond: THAT'S FILTHY ASSSSSIIIIAN SLUT TO YOU, MR

Hackerman: 1'm d0ne, FUCK y0u, 1'm fuck1ng 0ut

Porriamond: HEADING OUT THE, ASSSSSIIIIIIAN DOOR ARE WE????

Hackerman: FFFFFFFFUUUUCK y0u

06/02/17
"==>"


Porriamond: ASIAN

Hackerman: w0ah that's fuck1ng 1ncred1ble, can 1 g0 n0w?

Porriamond: no no no wait, i don't think you understand

Hackerman: 1 get 1t, 1'm buy1ng p0ptarts 1n as1a, my m1nd 1s bl0wn

Porriamond: no listen, listen to me.....

06/02/17
"==>"


Porriamond: so, just this then?

Hackerman: uh, 1'm at the self check0ut

Porriamond: ....

Hackerman: d1d y0u ser10usly take 0ne 0f the cash reg1sters all the way 0ver t0 the self check0ut just t0 d0 th1s?

Porriamond: so...

Hackerman: what?

Porriamond: just this then?

Hackerman: a1ght f1ne 1f 1t'll get me 0utta th1s st0re 1'll d0 y0ur th1ng s0 uh, yes, just that

Porriamond: that will be 25 卐's, but..... you know, there's something special about this specific product......

Hackerman: 0kay? ar1ght l00k m0therFUCKER 1'm k1nd 0f 1n a hurry s0 1f y0u c0uld scan that sh1t up n get me 0ut 0f here that'd be fuck1n swell

Porriamond: yes, but listen.... just like everything else in this store..... this specific box of pop tarts is...........


06/02/17
"==>"


Hackerman: g01n t0 the self check0ut l1ke a grade a rebel, l00k the fuck 0ut b1tches here 1 c0me

06/02/17
"==>"


Hackerman: whatever fuck her 1'm 0nly grabb1n 0ne

06/02/17
"==>"


Hackerman: h0ly, sh1t..... yeah h0nestly she's pr0bably g01ng t0 want l1terally fuck1ng all 0f these

06/02/17
"==>"

Well isn't that horrifyingly convenient

06/02/17
"==>"

Your name is Hackerman, you recently assisted your close friend teretizi in her escape from her prison within a simulated reality, currently you are located in china, somewhere in china, supposedly, in all honesty the only thing suggesting that this is china at all is the fact that there are chinese words on a sign over there, so you're pretty sure this is fucking china, but that's beside the point, the point is, this is an introduction to a character, and that character just so happens to be you, and you, are fucking awesome, at least you think so, well you mean, hackerman is awesome, and you just so happen to be hackerman, so by the power of math, you're fucking awesome. Anyhow, your interests include watching shitty superhero cartoons such as YOUNG JUSTICE, sitting around testing SHITTY CODE YOU FOUND ONLINE on old computers, you are sure to voice your opinion about any cartoons you happen to watch because you're pretty sure everyone wants to know what you think about regular show anyway, like these fuckers are just on the edge of their seats waiting for their ears to be penetrated by your ancient tellings, so you won't make them wait any longer, regular show is fucking awesome, end of story, that's actually all you had to say about it, fucking incredible right? You suppose you should get things moving along, hopefully it's not all that terribly hard to find pop tarts in china

06/02/17
"==>"

06/02/17
"==>"


Chip: chip the rrrripppperrrrrr

06/02/17
"==>"


???: HEEEEYYYYYY there pal

Johan: oh uhm, hello there?

???: howwwww's it going buddy

Johan: not so great blanketfriend, honestly i'm not in the mood to chat, but... if you don't mind me asking, who the hell are you?

Chip: why, my name is chip!

Johan: chip, well then, it's nice to meet you chip, perhaps we could catch up later but like i'd said, this really isn't the time, i'm not in a good mood

Chip: ah i see

Johan: so i suppose i'll catch you later then?

Chip: i've got a better idea

Johan: what's your grand idea then chip?

Chip: you bend over and i pound your anus into a bloody pulp

Johan: i don't think i'm quite fond of that idea at all

Chip: lookee here bitch boy, this is chip you're talking to

Johan: uhm, yes, and?

06/02/17
"==>"


Teretizi: H3H3H3H3H33H3H3H3H33H3H3H3H3


06/02/17
"==>"

06/02/17
"==>"

06/02/17
"==>"

06/02/17
"==>"

06/02/17
"==>"


Dameeram: SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!~

06/02/17
"Johan: Wake "

You really hope they're just jumping, but something tells you there's an unreasonably small chance that they're actually just jumping

06/02/17
"==>"

06/02/17
"==>"

06/02/17
"==>"

06/02/17
"==>"

06/02/17
"==>"


GrandDad: Hello there Teretizi, I've been expecting you for quite a while now, I'm glad to inform you that your room has already been prepared, your room number is B12, just head back into the hangar and down the left hallway, here are the keys, try not to trash the place now.

Teretizi: 1T'S N1C3 OF YOU TO L3T US ST4Y H3R3 BUT, WHO 4R3 YOU?

GrandDad: Well it's a funny story really you see, this rebellion was created as a defense against.... well, you know who.....

Teretizi: 7, R1GHT >:?, 1 M34N 1T HON3STLY COULDN'T B3 4NYON3 3LS3

GrandDad: No you're exactly right, sorry it's a sore subject for me, you see, the thing is....... I am his grand father.

06/02/17
"==>"


Teretizi: 4LR1GHT W3LL 1'LL B3 R1GHT B4CK GUYS, 1'M GO1NG TO G3T TH1S ROOM BU1S1N3SS 4LL SORT3D OUT

Dameeram: yessssssssssssssssss~

Johan: WAJOIHJFKAWJHGUIOHAWJLGAWIHOJFHGAUWF7RYQ

06/02/17
"==>"

06/02/17
"==>"


Teretizi: TH3N W3'R3 FUCK1NG G3TT1NG ON3

06/02/17
"==>"

Teretizi: W3LL 1N TH4T C4S3, 1F OUR ROOM DOO3SN'T H4PP3N TO H4V3 4 BUNK B3D

06/02/17
"==>"


Johan: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

06/02/17
"==>"


Dameeram: THAT WE'D STOPPED JUMPING HOURS AGO

06/02/17
"==>"


Dameeram: heyyyy, did you hear that guys? he said that tizi will be asking about us being escorted to our new ROOM

Johan: uh yeah, what's so interesting about that?

Dameeram: well... it's A room, not multiple rooms, which means we'll all be staying in one......

Johan: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand?

Dameeram: and that means there will most likely be a bunk bed....... and we'll make you sleep on the bottom, me and tizi will be up all night jumping our asses off on the top bunk

Johan: what, why? that's just fucked

Dameeram: and by the time you finally snap, and you ask us to stop jumping, that's when we'll pause, and i will kindly inform you................

06/02/17
"==>"


Hackerman: a1ght we made 1t, t1z1 1 want y0u t0 g0 speak t0 the guy 1n charge ab0ut esc0rt1ng y0u and y0ur friends t0 y0ur new r00m, 1'm g01ng to send a l1ttle message t0 7 but 1'm g0nna to need t0 p0rt 0ver t0 fuck1n ch1na real qu1ck s0 the dude can't trace my fuck1n s1gnal and f1nd us d0wn here, peace peace m0therfuckers

Teretizi: H3H3H3H3H3 4LR1GHT, TH3R3'D B3TT3R B3 SOM3 POPT4RTS 4ROUND H3R3

Hackerman: 1'll p1ck s0me up wh1le 1'm 0ut, just 1n case y0u can't f1nd any, and h0nestly, 1 w0uldn't b0ther l00k1ng

Teretizi: FUCK1N L4M3, 4R1GHT, COM3 B4CK W1TH 4 FUCK1NG TRUCKLO4D OR 1'LL 34T YOU 1NST34D

Hackerman: what the fuck man

Teretizi: H3H3H3H33H3HH3H3H3H3H33H3H3H3H3H3

Hackerman: y0u're 0n s0 many drugs 1 swear t0 g0d

Teretizi: 1 B33N CRUSH1N UP POPT4RT 1C1NG 4ND SNORT1NG TH3 SW33T POWD3RY 3SS3NC3 OF MY F4VOR1T3 BR34KF4ST SN4CK

Hackerman: that s0unds fuck1ng retarded, ar1ght anyway 1 need t0 get g01ng jesus fuck

Teretizi: LOV1NG HOW YOUR MOST 1MPOR4NT JOB R1GHT NOW 4FT3R H4V1NG JUST WOK3N US UP 1S TO GO S3ND 4 M3SS4G3 TO 7 JUST TO S4Y FUCK YOU, 4ND P1CK UP 4 BOX OF POPT4RTS, YOU OBV1OUSLY H4V3 YOUR G4M3 PL4N ON LOCK WH3N 1T COM3S TO YKNO, FR331NG TH3 3NT1R3 WORLD FROM B31NG FUCK1NG 3NSL4V3D

Hackerman: 1 mean 1t's n0t a v1de0 game anym0re but that d0esn't mean we sh0uld take th1s sh1t thaaat fuck1ng ser10usly

Teretizi: 1 KNOW M4N 1'M JUST FUCK1NG W1TH YOU

Hackerman: well uh, 1'm go1ng t0 f1nally fuck1ng g0 n0w


06/02/17
"==>"

06/02/17
"==>"

06/02/17
"==>"

06/02/17
"==>"


Dameeram: WAIT NO! just one more peek before we go... oh my god, it's even more beautiful than i'd remembered.....


06/02/17
"==>"


Dameeram: just, just push me into the portal, i can't look at it, it actually hurts my eyes, they can't comprehend perfection

Hackerman: 0h uh w0w, alr1ght

06/02/17
"==>"


Hackerman: k guys the p0rtal 1s all ready t0 g0

Teretizi: NO..... NO FUCK1NG W4Y

Johan: holy, fucking, shit, that can't be real, what level is that?

Hackerman: 1t's level 9001, 1t's fuck1n hacked bro

Dameeram: sweet, jesus...... it's beautiful

06/02/17
"==>"

06/02/17
"==>"

Dameeram: jeers

06/02/17
"==>"

Dameeram: jackson

06/02/17
"==>"

Dameeram: jackson jeeeeeeeeers

Teretizi: H4H4H4H4H4 WH4T TH3 FUCK STOP 1'M GONN4 D13

06/02/17
"==>"


Hackerman: a1ght y0u g0t j0han up?

Teretizi: FUCK Y34

Johan: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

Hackerman: sweet, dameer's all ready t0 g0 t00, 1'll h00k up the p0rtal real qu1ck

Dameeram: hahahaha what the fuck is going on, did i get drugged by jackson or some shit?...... oh, wait fuck did he really drug me, is that like a thing that happened........... fuuuuuuck

Teretizi: N4H 1T JUST TURNS OUT TH4T M3 4ND MRS D3V1L L4DY W3R3 R1GHT 4LL 4LONG 4ND OUR 3NT1R3 3X1ST3NC3 W4S COMPL3T3LY PO1NTL3SS B3C4US3 1T W4S TH3 M4TR1X FROM TH3 V3RY B3G1NN1NG

Dameeram: hehe, i mean that sucks ass but it's better than getting drugged by.......... jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaackson jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeers

Teretizi: H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3 1'M SO FUCK1NG DON3

06/02/17
"==>"


Johan: what, what's going on tizi?

Teretizi: SPY K1DS 3D: G4M3 OV3R

Johan: what the fuuuuuuuck?

06/02/17
"==>"

05/02/17
"==>"



Hackerman: but what y0u sa1d earl1er wasn't ent1rely true, 1 mean l1ke, everyth1ng that happened 1n there wasn't fake, 1t's even stup1der than that, the m0st bas1c way 1 can expla1n 1t 1s...... everyth1ng 1s the same except h0ly l1ght 1s s0me dude at a c0mputer alth0ugh he's als0 a spl1t part 0f 0ur h0ly l1ght's s0ul wh0 calls h1mself 7, y0u already k1nd 0f knew h1m th0ugh, s0 l1ke, there's st1ll an actual h0ly l1ght 1n 0ur w0rld except he's sl1ghtly less man1acal, and 1 guess that 7 c0uld re-enter h0ly l1ght at any t1me t0 bec0me wh0le aga1n th0ugh s0 that's k1nd 0f fuck1ng stup1d, s0 th1s 1s bas1cally the exact same w0rld and n0th1ng has changed by wak1ng y0u up, the s1mulat10n was supp0sedly created s0 7 c0uld f1gure 0ut h0w y0u became g0d, try1ng t0 test and understand y0u 0r whatever, but 1nstead he just k1nd 0f ended up be1ng fuck1ng full 0f h1mself n s1tting ar0und try1ng t0 change stuff all day, uh, 1 th1nk he actually became 1nvested 1n the w0rld, s0rt 0f a n0 life wh0 actually bel1eves anything that happens t0 "h0ly l1ght" matters 1n the sl1ghtest, he's a huge b1tch, s0 yea n0w y0u have a bas1c 1dea 0f what's g01ng 0n, th0ugh 1 guess all 0f that was just a summary 0f the fact that 7 1s a huge b1tch, and y0u already knew that, s0000

Teretizi: Y34, SO UH, TH4T W4S TH3 SHORT V3RS1ON TH3N

Hackerman: yep

Teretizi: FUCK1NG 1NCR3D1BL3

Hackerman: a1ght well we need t0 get a few 0f these 0ther fuckers up n head t0 the rebell10n's base

Teretizi: TH3 R3B3LL1ON >:?

Hackerman: yea, bas1cally a small team 0f pe0ple f1ght1ng aga1nst the 0ppress10n caused by 7, just l1ke the wh0le "stuck 1n a v1de0 game" th1ng, we've als0 g0t the class1c "the ent1re w0rld 1s be1ng enslaved and there's a small gr0up 0f pe0ple wh0 call themselves the rebell10n, 1nstead 0f ch00s1ng any 0ther s0rt 0f clever name they s1mply g0 by ""the rebell10n"" because 1t would be a fuck1ng cr1me n0t t0", but yea 7, he's k1nd 0f try1ng t0 get l1terally fuck1ng every0ne 1nt0 th1s game s0 he can be the1r g0d 0r whatever, even th0ugh he's already a part 0f the real "g0d"'s s0ul.... except y0u're here s0 he can't really d0 sh1t 1f he were t0 fuse w1th h0ly aga1n... but you were stuck 1ns1de a game s0 he sh0uld have been able t0 rule anyway............ 1 d0n't really understand h1m he's c0mpletely full 0f sh1t and a b1t 0f a dumbass, 1 guess be1ng g0d d0esn't mean anyth1ng t0 h1m 1f he d0esn't get t0 be Y0UR g0d, y0u specifically, he fuck1ng desp1ses y0u

Teretizi: OF FUCK1NG COURS3, 3V3N WH3N H3'S COMPL3T3LY 1N CONTROL 4ND TH3R3'S NOTH1NG 1 C4N 4CTU4LL DO 4G41NST H1M, H3 C4N'T JUST B3 H4PPY W1TH TH4T, 1NST34D H3 W4NTS M3 TO KNOW FOR 4 F4CT TH4T TH3R3'S NOTH1NG 1 C4N DO, 4ND TO 4CC3PT 1T, 1 FUCK1NG H4T3 H1S N4STY L1TTL3 GUTS, 1'M GO1NG TO 34T H1M

Hackerman: s0 yea let's bust 0ut dameeram real qu1ck and get the fuck 0ut 0f here

Teretizi: WH4T 4BOUT JOH4N >:????

Hackerman: 0h yea...... that, r1111111111111ght, alr1ght yea 1 guess we can grab h1m up t0, y0u g0 facer0ll the keypanel next t0 h1s bed th1ngy, 1 d0n't really kn0w what the beds 1n sw0rd art 0nl1ne are called, 1f they're even called anyth1ng as1de fr0m beds that 1s, s0 we're g01ng t0 have t0 m1ss a grand 0pp0rtun1ty f0r an extremely sh1tty reference, plus y0u already s0rt 0f na1led 1t a sec0nd ag0 w1th y0ur mental breakd0wn th1ng

Teretizi: HOW'D YOU KNOW 4BOUT TH4T 3V3N, DO YOU G1V3 4NY SH1TS 4BOUT TH3 FOURTH W4LL WH4TSO3V3R

Hackerman: nah man the f0urth wall 1s st1ll 1ntact, y0u have a ch1p l0dged 1n y0ur fuck1ng head s0mewhere and 1t's w1relessly d1splay1ng y0ur sh1tty th0ughts 0n that screen 0ver there

Teretizi: TH4NK GOD, 1 W4S WORR13D TH3 M3X1C4NS W3R3 SL1PP1NG THROUGH FOR 4 MOM3NT TH3R3

Hackerman: a1ght get t0 facer0ll1ng man, 1'll wake up dameeram, als0 y0u m1ght wanna hurry cause 7 kn0ws we're d01ng th1s and 1 k1nd 0f want t0 l1ve t0 see y0ur react10n when y0u meet the leader 0f the rebell10n

Teretizi: OH FUCK, GR34T

05/02/17
"==>"


Teretizi: NO, GOD NO, NO, JUST, NO, NO NO NO NO NO, S4Y 1T 41NT SO H4CK3RM4N, S4Y 1T 41NT SO, PL34S3 T3LL M3 1T'S NOT.......

Hackerman: s0rry man........... 1t's spy k1ds 3D n0w

Teretizi: 1 R34LLY W1SH 1T COULD H4V3 JUST B33N HOM3 4LON3, TH1S 1S SO MUCH WORS3

05/02/17
"Tizi + Reader: Experience Horrifying Realization"

05/02/17
"==>"


Teretizi: W4T

Teretizi: W4T

Teretizi: W4T

Teretizi: W4T

Teretizi: W4T

Teretizi: W444444444444444T

Hackerman: 1 w0ke y0u up br0

Teretizi: 1 DON'T 4CTU4LLY UND3RST4ND WH4T TH4T M34NS BRO

Hackerman: okay wa1t up, 1'm n0t actually the best at expla1n1ng sh1t and th1s 1s s0rt 0f stup1d s0, alr1ght just w0rk w1th me here 0kay man?

Teretizi: OK4Y 1'M DOWN, BUT S3R1OUSLY WH4T TH3 FUCK, WH3R3 4R3 W3

Hackerman: a1ght s0 bas1cally, l0ng st0ry sh0rt, sh1tt1est pl0t t00l ever, y0u were 1n a v1de0 game the ent1re t1me, 0r l1ke, s1mulated real1ty? n0 let's cut the sh1t 1t was a v1de0 game, anyway th1s 1s the actual w0rld, y0u're 1n a sh1tty lab type th1ng, 1 hacked the system and br0ke y0u 0ut with0ut damaging y0ur bra1n 0r whatever, n0t really sure 1f that's a th1ng that can happen, but 1 s0rt 0f just.... tr1ed t0 av01d that just 1n case that 1s an actual fuck1ng th1ng that can happen, 1 guess 1 sh0uld pr0bably kn0w whether 0r n0t that's a th1ng cause 1'm fuck1ng hackerman but, fuck 1t

Teretizi: W41T SO.... NON3 OF TH4T W4S R34L, NOTH1NG TH4T'S 3V3R H4PP3N3D 4CTU4LLY H4D 4NY 3FF3CT ON.... 4NYTH1NG........ 4LL OF TH4T W4S.... F4K3?


05/02/17
"==>"


Teretizi: W4T

05/02/17
"==>"

05/02/17
"==>"


Hackerman: get hacked scrubb1ty n00b, 1t's just, t00, easy

29/01/17
"==>"


7: Bullshi7.

29/01/17
"==>"

Megaman? The fuck is this shit??? Whoever is doing this you are going to rip out their tongue, perhaps show them to your american pride by firing a few shots off through their empty skull..... Oh great and now it seems your desktop is crashing.

29/01/17
"==>"


7: Wha7, no, wha7 7he fuck?

28/01/17
"==>"

You have decided to send 10,000 angels to hell's left yard, out of the two options between left and right, you believe left was certainly the wisest decision, you watch as your angels are sent through the void and across the solar system, you see yourself as a bit of a tactical genius, only a brave leader like you would have been able to make the hard decisions when things get rough, no one else can handle the real world like you can, no one can handle their losses, the many deaths that must be faced during war, but you are fully capable of fighting through your emotional slurry in order to achieve excellence.... and through this epic battle you have achieved......... clicking on the left panel instead of the right panel....

28/01/17
"==>"


7: 7here, 7ha7 should do 7he 7rick....

28/01/17
"==>"


7: Hehe, i7's wonderful seeing him all riled up like 7his, wha7 a shame 7ha7 he won't just accep7 7he fac7 7ha7 I am ac7ually the one in con7rol here, al7hough he may be able to al7er 7heir world, if he can'7 leave....... wha7's the poin7? 7here's nothing he can ac7ually do 7o me... well, nevermind 7ha7... perhaps I'll begin my siege on hell now....

28/01/17
"==>"


Teretizi: H3 JUST SUCK3D TH31R D1CKS SO FUCK1NG H4RD TH4T TH3Y 4CTU4LLY L3T H1M B3 "GOD" OF FUCK1NG COURS3, TH4T'S WH4T H3'S 4LW4YS W4NT3D, TO B3 4 FUCK1NG GOD, TH4NK GOODN3SS 1N R34L1TY H3'S B4S1C4LLY GOT NO FUCK1NG POW3R WH4TSO3V3R 1N COMP4R1SON TO M3, 4S FUCK1NG USU4L, BUT H3 ST1LL G3TS TO L1V3 OUT H1S L1TTL3 F4NT4SY B31NG FUCK1NG ******GOD****** DO1NG TH3 ***R1GHT TH1NG*** 4ND ULT1M4T3LY JUST FUCK1NG 3V3RYTH1NG UP, BUT TH4T DO3SN'T 4CTU4LLY M4TT3R, H3 W4NTS US TO F33L 4S 1F 4NYTH1NG 1N TH1S STUP1D L1TTL3 WORLD 4CTU4LLY M4TT3RS, SO H3 C4N TOY W1TH YOUR FUCK1NG 3MOT1ONS, H3'D LOV3 M3 TO C4LL H1M 4 S1CK FUCK FOR 3NJOY1NG OUR M1S3RY, H3'S JUST..... FUCK1NG D1SGUST1NG

Johan: yea, wow, just, fuck....


28/01/17
"==>"


7: Isn'7 7ha7 nice, 7hey wish 7hey could leave.

28/01/17
"==>"


Johan: you know i really do wish we could leave now... i mean it's been fun here and all that but, fuck man this place is starting to get really stale, with all the torture and the rape and whatnot, and you're always flipping out about your own existence and stuff, tizi how do we get out of here?

Teretizi: BLUH BLUH, DUD3 1 DON'T FUCK1NG KNOW, 1 H4V3 NO GOD D4MN 1D34 HOW W3 COULD 3V3R M4N4G3 TO G3T TH3 FUCK OUT OF H3R3, TH4T'S WHY 1 FORGOT 4BOUT 1T, 1 DON'T 3V3N W4NT TO TH1NK 4BOUT TH3 F4CT TH4T TH3R3'S NOTH1NG 1 C4N 4CTU4LLY FUCK1NG DO 4BOUT TH1S! 1 KNOW H3 C4N FUCK1NG S33 TH1S, 4ND H3'D JUST FFFFUUUCK1NG LOOOOOV3 TO KNOW 1 W1SH 1 COULD L34V3 H3R3, H3 C4N JUST G3T UP R1GHT NOW, W4LK OUT OF H1S STUP1D L1TTL3 ROOM 4ND GO DOWN TO ST4R BUCKS, JUST H4V3 4 N1C3 L1TTL3 COFF33 4ND W4TCH TH3 W1ND BLOW THROUGH TH3 TR33S ON 4 COLD MORN1NG, BUT W3'R3 STUCK H3R3, 4ND H3 FUCK1NG LOV3S TH4T

Johan: bleh...


28/01/17
"==>"


Johan: i mean i thought...... i thought a while back you said... you said there were a few of us

Teretizi: OH.... Y34, R1GHT, TH4T... 1T'S B33N SUCH 4 LONG T1M3 S1NC3 TH1S 4LL ST4RT3D 1, 1'D HON3STLY FORGOTT3N 4BOUT, 4LL OF TH4T.......

Johan: so, i mean, why are we still stuck here, i thought eventually something would ch-

Teretizi: JUST DON'T WORRY 4BOUT 1T, 1 DON'T TH1NK 1T HON3STLY M4TT3RS, W3'R3 PROB4BLY STUCK H3R3 FOR3V3R.... M4YB3 W3'LL 3V3N B3 H3R3 SO LONG TH4T BOTH OF US FORG3T TH1S 4LL 4G41N

Johan: that sounds fucking lame

Teretizi: Y34 1T, 1T R34LLY DO3S

28/01/17
"==>"


Johan: no but seriously man, calm the fuck down, stop having a mental breakdown walking through fucking curtains in the middle of the living room, i mean, i get it man, i get that it sucks not really having anything real to interact with in here but...... i'm, i'm kind of real, right?

Teretizi: ...

27/01/17
"==>"

27/01/17
"==>"

27/01/17
"==>"

27/01/17
"==>"

27/01/17
"==>"

27/01/17
"Teretizi: Enter Reality"

It's time to leave

27/01/17
"Teretizi: Exit "Reality""

You're afraid to lose everything, everything you've worked so hard on, everything you've tried so hard to believe is real, you're afraid of losing this intricate little world you've created, but you just can't handle it anymore

27/01/17
"==>"

This awful universe where not a single thing moves or even breathes without you causing it to do so

27/01/17
"==>"


You've created this whole stupid little world

27/01/17
"==>"


Teretizi: TH4T'S 1T, 1 C4N'T T4K3 TH1S 4NYMOR3, 1 JUST, 1 C4N'T K33P TH1S UP

27/01/17
"==>"


Johan: l3t's just h3ad b4ck to b3d, we can snuggl3 up and forg3t all this "noth1ng is re4l" nons3ns3

27/01/17
"==>"


Johan: it's okay tiz1, it's alright man

Teretizi: 1 KNOW, 1'M, 1'M SORRY FOR 4LL OF TH1S JOH4N

Johan: 1t's okay

Teretizi: NO 1T'S NOT, 1T N3V3R R34LLY W1LL B3, 1 JUST C4N'T SH4K3 TH3 F4CT TH4T NON3 OF TH1S C4N 3V3R 4CTU4LLY B3 R34L, TH4T R34L1TY DO3SN'T 3V3N 3X1ST W1THOUT M3 PULL1NG TH3 STR1NGS..... 1 JUST....... BL3H

Johan: this is re4l tizi, it's all real

27/01/17
"==>"


Teretizi: 1'M SORRY

27/01/17
"==>"


Carl: I don't understand.

Teretizi: 1 KNOW C4RL, 1'M SORRY

27/01/17
"==>"

And her name, is Teretizi Pyroperior


Carl: Why.... why did you do this?

Teretizi: 1'M SORRY C4RL

Carl: No.... I'm not upset with you Teretizi...... I just want to know............. I just want to know why.

Teretizi: 1 C4N'T T3LL YOU WHY C4RL, YOU WOULDN'T UND3RST4ND

Carl: Tell me, and if I do not understand, I swear to spend every moment of my afterlife attempting to understand..... attempting to understand why you would do this.

Teretizi: B3C4US3 YOUR SUCC3SS M4K3S OUR UN1MPORT4NC3 TOO CL34R FOR M3, 1 W1SH TO H1D3 MYS3LF W1TH1N 4 D3NS3 FOG OF L13S 1N ORD3R TO PROT3CT MYS3LF FROM TH3 F4CT TH4T NON3 OF TH1S 4CTU4LLY M4TT3RS.... SO 1'M SORRY C4RL, BUT TH1S 1S JUST HOW 1T H4S TO B3

Carl: ....... You were right Teretizi.....

27/01/17
"==>"

Is destined for victory....

27/01/17
"==>"

Only one...........

27/01/17
"==>"

And although each Carl will battle with all their might...

27/01/17
"==>"

On this day, five mighty Carls will battle to the death...........

27/01/17
"Carl's Crusade"

27/01/17
"==>"


Carl: Good night daddy, I will miss you, but do not worry, I will make you proud daddy, I will do wonderful things, I will change this world for the better daddy, and when my legends are told to the new generation, those growing in a world shaped by Carl Wheezer's magnificent glovey hands, my story will be known as...

27/01/17
"==>"


Carl: I love you daddy.

Corunso: oh, nice

27/01/17
"==>"

27/01/17
"==>"

27/01/17
"==>"

27/01/17
"==>"


Corunso: nice, that bean did not fix this at all, wow..... i'm just sitting here, watching this happen

27/01/17
"==>"


Corunso: well, nice

27/01/17
"==>"


Corunso: here eat this

27/01/17
"==>"



GreenDeLaBean: Here you are then, g)ve th)s to your fr)end, hopefu((y )t
w)(( he(p




27/01/17
"==>"


Corunso: green de la bean, we need your help!

GreenDeLaBean: What )s the matter?

Corunso: kinkranak got all fucked up and we need you to fix his face, he's a fucking mess

GreenDeLaBean: Oh, no problem at a((, one moment!

27/01/17
"==>"


Corunso: HOLY SHIT KINKS WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!?

Rufuforia: DUDE I DON'T THINK HE CAN TALK, LOOK AT HIS FUCKING MOUTH, HOLY SHIT HE'S FUCKED

Corunso: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, we need to get teretizi to fix this shit

Rufuforia: she's a bit busy alone with johan...... i'd much rather neither of us get between that............. she's really weird when it comes to that type of... stuff, but this definitely is a huge fucking problem, like... just, FUCK MAN WHAT THE FUCK TYPE OF SHIT EVEN IS THIS, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENS, JUST, WHAT THE FUCK EVEN DID HAPPEN, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

Corunso: i don't know man, i just, i don't fucking know dude

Rufuforia: WAIT, maybe the bean can save him?

Corunso: YES OF COURSE! certainly the bean possesses mystical healing powers of some sort

27/01/17
"==>"

27/01/17
"==>"

27/01/17
"==>"


Rorohuso: oh............ OH................ OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHHHHHHIT
HolyLight: H=llo th=r=

27/01/17
"==>"


Rorohuso: no, NO, GET THIS THING OFF OF ME, WHERE DOES THIS GO!? oh god i guess you can't really speak but... don't do this to me, maybe you were right, suppose we can be pals! head on over to that park bench you were talking about? just, TURN THIS THING OFF! if, if that's even a thing that you can do...

27/01/17
"==>"

26/01/17
"==>"


Rorohuso: sorry.... sorry for, what?

26/01/17
"==>"


Rorohuso: what are you doing?

26/01/17
"==>"


Rorohuso: hold still now, or don't, i mean you kind of need to experience extreme pain so i guess that would be counterproductive for you to be feeling comfortable enough not to squirm, so, yeah, erm, hold still while i insert this but you can twist and turn once they're in

25/01/17
"==>"


Rorohuso: silence, i won't be having any more of your bickering, we're extracting your smol and there will be no buts about it

25/01/17
"==>"

Kinkranak: Right....... s9 then uhm, d9 y9u mind explaining what's..... attached t9 my nipples, and, why?

Rorohuso: well.... it sounds stupid as all shit but that's seriously the only way to do this, the smol can only be extracted through one's nipples, i'll have inflict extreme pain upon you in order to squeeze out every last drop of smol you can muster

Kinkranak: W9w that s9unds um... well frankly that s9unds TERRI6LE, why can't we just..... n9t d9 this?

Rorohuso: I ALREADY TOLD YOU IT'S THE ONLY WAY NOW STOP YOUR STALLING

Kinkranak: Actually I'm s9rt 9f happy y9u've even listened t9 anything I've said s9 far, like, there's n9t really anything I can d9 a69ut this s9... why haven't y9u just.......

Rorohuso: are you claiming that i do not wish to go through with this?

Kinkranak: N9, n9t really, but if you d9n't, that's alright.

25/01/17
"==>"


Rorohuso: but i am

25/01/17
"==>"

Kinkranak: What d9 y9u want with me, why d9n't y9u just kill me?

Rorohuso: you know what i'm after, don't play dumb

Kinkranak: Actually errr, I, I really d9n't, m9st of you sick f###s just want t9 kill pe9ple and send them 9ff t9 suffer in heaven...... are y9u just g9ing t9... t9rture me here, f9rever? 9r leave me well.... wherever I am, t9 sit ar9und like a tr9phy?

Rorohuso: well yes, i am going to torture you but, only because i have to

Kinkranak: That's dum6, y9u d9n't have t9 t9rture me, n9 9ne HAS t9 d9 this, y9u d9n't have t9 d9 any 9f this h9rri6le s###.

Rorohuso: but it's the only way

Kinkranak: The 9nly way t9 d9 what, what kind 9f terri6le thing are y9u g9ing to acc9mplish 6y d9ing this t9 me?

Rorohuso: i'm going to take it from you... i'm going to extract the smol, i'm going to inject it into myself, i'm going to harness your power kinkranak, and leave you here, empty, emotionless, without the smol, you are nothing, you have dedicated everything you once were, to the smol, and now, i will take it all away from you..

Kinkranak: 6ut I d9n't get it, why d9 you need the "sm9l", I d9n't even kn9w if I have whatever that is, but if I d9, why d9 you want it?

Rorohuso: you don't understand, with the smol you have access to unbelievable power, but those who obtain the smol have reached the point in which they would never have any interest in using said power, that is why people such as myself seek those blessed with the smol, and extract it for their own use, you were too foolish to even notice the new abilities you had access to, just cramming all of your points into those silly portals

Kinkranak: I d9n't need any 9f these p9wers th9ugh, and neither d9 y9u, this is stupid, we c9uld just help y9u get this sm9l junk y9urself, y9u d9n't have t9 hurt me, we c9uld 6e 6uddies, I f9rgive y9u f9r all this, it d9esn't even hurt anym9re, y9u gave me that weird junk that is 6asically a pl9t device f9r any really f###ed up fetish st9ry and n9w I d9n't really feel anything at all... I can't see anything, everything's s9 empty, but.... I f9rgive y9u.

Rorohuso: no, no hush, you won't fool me, those blessed with the smol always do this, they always convince me to let them go, i won't have it, keep your mouth shut, and no, you could never help me to achieve the smol, as i had previously stated it is impossible for someone who seeks to use the smol's power to ever be granted the smol through any natural means

Kinkranak: Well then just accept that y9u d9n't need it! y9u d9n't need any 9f these lame p9wers, that's 6ulls###, we c9uld just leave and g9 have s9me ice cream, chill 9ut at the park and feed the ducks some 6read, sit d9wn 9n a park 6ench watching pe9ple walk 6y, c9mpletely mesmerized 6y life itself just.... taking place.

Rorohuso: shut the fuck up! we're not going to be doing any of this! i will tear out your tongue if you don't quit trying to change my mind about this

Kinkranak: Y9u're kind 9f trying t9 succ my pers9nality 9ut 9f me and leave me an empty shad9w 9f my f9rmer self s9 I'm having a little tr9u6le sucking it up and just dealing with it man ):B.

Rorohuso: eugh i guess you're right this is pretty fucked up... but, i like it that way, i mean, i think i do? i think i like doing this fucked up shit to people.... otherwise we wouldn't be here right now.... eh

Kinkranak: What d9 y9u need all these dum6 p9wers f9r anyway, I mean if y9u aren't like all st9ked a69ut f###ing me up, what's the p9int 9f g9ing thr9ugh with all this?

Rorohuso: well you see, there are many different forms, all giving you access to new passive abilities granted when gaining the form and a new active skill tree to climb, much like the hood or spinjitsu skill trees all players begin with, except these trees house unbelievable powers, powers only comparable to that of a god

Kinkranak: Like tizi's stuff?

Rorohuso: yes, exactly like her's, in fact it is said that with all of the powers combined, with all of the trees climbed..... you will become equal to teretizi herself

Kinkranak: But isn't that kind 9f imp9ssi6le, I mean if any 9f this stuff a69ut her is true, if she was the 9ne wh9 created all this in the first place.... c9uldn't she just st9p them fr9m even 6eing a thing if any9ne were ever able t9 d9 all that gar69

Rorohuso: i mean.... i don't know, maybe? but it's worth a shot isn't it...

Kinkranak: Well..... c9r has t9ld me this jacks9n fell9w s9mehow unl9cked an a6ility n8t even tizi has access t9 just due t9 the fact that his a6s9lutely terrible m9unt died.... s9 I guess this s9rt 9f seems p9ssi6le t9 s9me degree 6ut... just, why? Why d9 y9u want t9 d9 this t9 her in the first place? She's n9t actually as h9rrible as pe9ple say...

Rorohuso: i know..

24/01/17
"==>"

24/01/17
"==>"

24/01/17
"==>"

24/01/17
"==>"

24/01/17
"==>"

Kinkranak: Please, just let me die, I d9n't want t9 have t9 feel this pain anym9re, it's, h9rri6le

24/01/17
"==>"

-- memeMachine [MM] began memeing chipperChap [CC] at 6:66 --
MM: kinks the bean guy is here, you might want to hurry over, we may need your help with the ascension of the first priest
MM: kinks, you there?
MM: :/
MM: i bet you fell asleep watching the dumb fuckin sky, alright i guess head over here whenever you wake up, you probably won't have missed much anyway, the bean isn't ascending for shit
MM: talk to you in a bit i guess

-- memeMachine [MM] ceased memeing chipperChap [CC] at 6:66 --


24/01/17
"==>"

24/01/17
"==>"

24/01/17
"==>"

24/01/17
"==>"

24/01/17
"==>"

24/01/17
"==>"

24/01/17
"==>"

-- memeMachine [MM] began memeing chipperChap [CC] at 6:66 --
MM: hey kinks, me and rufuf were wondering if you'd like to be here for the ascension of the first priest
CC: Y9u kn9w very well i'd rather y9u did n9t call me..... that, 9n the 9ther hand, what are y9u talking a6out, the ascension 9f the first priest?
MM: the first curch of teretizi has been renovated, and the first priest has risen, he will now ascend unto the smol
CC: I d9 n9t believe i've heard anything a69ut this priest, wh9 is he?
MM: he is mr grean, mr grean de la bean
CC: A green 6ean priest? That's n9nsense.
MM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbK3PTeJubk
CC: What's this?
MM: just copy paste the link
CC: I did, I have n9 idea what it is i'm l99king at, 9r listening t9 f9r that matter, this is s9 weird, I d9 n9t mean t9 judge y9ur religi9n 9r anything 6ut, this is h9nestly a 6it 9dd.
MM: that's the point, here just cram enough of these videos into your brain and you'll understand everything
CC: I d9n't really kn9w if i want t9 understand.
MM: trust me once you do you'll never want to go back
CC: That s9unds a 6it intimidating, I d9n't kn9w if I'm up for it.
MM: just watch the videos you fucuckin nigger
CC: F####### n#####*
MM: no one else can see this chat there's no point in obscuring your curses, and if i were implying those words then that would kind of ruin the whole point of censoring them, so you even doing that is just stupid altogether
CC: Y9u d9 have a p9int, and 9n that n9te I supp9se I'll give y9ur 9dd 6ean religi9n a try.
MM: fuck yes
MM: here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7UkRxuOB0I
CC: That 9ne was a 6it unsettling t9 say the least.
MM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6n6lKgocgrQ
CC: 9h my g99dness, I p9sitively l9ve this 9ne, the water and the music is s9 settling, I'm just g9ing t9 lie d9wn in the grass n9w and listen t9 this, my g99dness the grass feels w9nderful, h9pefully that snake guy d9esn't get any funny ideas, g99d g9d it's s9 incredi6ly h9t wearing this sweater ar9und in the green hill zone.
MM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rrau9DCcXe8
MM: hehe send me some of them sexy pics if you take off your sweater
CC: Excuse me?
MM: pff fuck it nevermind, here try this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyNVRrHkwe0
CC: Yesss this is incredi6le, thank y9u f9r sh9wing these t9 me c9runs
MM: how bout this one, i'm almost certain this song was written for me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6E5m_XtCX3c
CC: 9h yes f9r sure, this is with9ut d9ubt a s9ng created simply due t9 y9ur existence.
MM: i can't tell if you were being sarcastic just there, i don't even know if you're capable of being sarcastic
CC: That was sarcasm.
MM: well then, i guess you are able to be sarcastic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GD6qtc2_AQA
CC: S9 then I supp9se I should hurry 9n 9ver there if I h9pe t9 partake in the 6ean 6usiness?
MM: idk, you've got some time, this bean is apparently fucking incredible at never being around, he's either a lazy fuck or he's really putting everything he can into this church shit
CC: Right then, I supp9se I'll lie ar9und here f9r a 6it, tell me whenever the ascension is taking place, feel free t9 send me m9re 9f that peculiar music 9f y9urs
MM:how about this then https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oy5mdV79dww
CC: 9h I like this 9ne t99, I suppose I'll just listen t9 this and stare at the sky f9r a 6it, message me whenever that pesky 6ean decides t9 sh9w up
MM: nice

-- memeMachine [MM] ceased memeing chipperChap [CC] at 6:66 --


24/01/17
"==>"

Your name is Kinkranak, you are currently adventuring around the in the GREEN HILL ZONE, you love to visit here every now and then to take your mind off all the murder and rape you're constantly surrounded by, you enjoy ADVENTURING and HELPING THOSE IN NEED, you specialize in PORTAL CONUJURATION and use it in any way you can to assist whoever may be in need of said assistance, you don't really mind that leveling your portal stat doesn't actually benefit you in any way, you don't plan to do much fighting anyhow, who needs a silly final boss, plus you've heard that killing him would most likely cause more bad than good, and you'd hate to see this world somehow get worse than it already is... you wonder what that snake is up to back there, he looks like he's trying to eat the sun, what a dunk, and that cute little goblin who looks like a green koala bear, you just want to give him a squeeze, but also wish to avoid invading his personal space, oh wait, what's this, it seems your good pal coruns is messaging you

24/01/17
"Tizi And Johan: Have Hot Alien Sex Whilst Covered In Poptarts"

24/01/17
"==>"



Teretizi: JOH4N NOW TH4T 4LL TH3 SH1TTY JUNKFOOD 1S DON3 4ND 3V3RYON3'S 4LL H4PPY 4ND 4L1V3, DR4G M3 1NTO TH3 B3DROOM 4ND POUND MY 4SSHOL3

Johan: man why the fuck do you have to be like this, and why did you have to wait until our house was completely full of people to start this shit up

Teretizi: FFFFUUUUUUUUUCK M333333

Johan: no, stop, fuck, just, stop this bullshit

David: why do you gotta be so fuckin weird tizi

Teretizi: 1111'LLLL FUCK1NG 3444T YOU D4V1D, FFFFF111GHT M3 YOU N1GG3R

David: aight whatever imma just chill in the pillow mound or whatever with sory, shit's 1337

Dameeram: omygod yes everyone in the pillow pile

Soryorux: nooooo thii2 ii2 ouuuuuur piile niiggger2, iif you want war we'll giive you war but you're not gettiing your griimy liitle hand2 on our fortre22

Feferefi: YESSSS, none s)-(all enter the domain of t)-(e fis)-(lady, none but t)-(e mig)-(ty soryorux

Coruns: nice

Rufuforia: man that bean needs to hurry up and get back here

Coruns: yea, i can't fucking wait for his transformation into the smol, it will be a truly magnificent day for all, the day the first priest of teretizi ascended unto the smol

Rufuforia: yesss

Teretizi: PFF, YOU FUCK1N DORKS

Coruns: no, this is important, waitup rufu imma text kinks and see if he's interested in being here for the ascension of the first priest

Rufuforia: yea he needs to be here for this shit

Johan: hehehe

24/01/17
"==>"



David: oh great of course, i'm getting gangbanged by dork and jakaeja

Dameeram: you like it mm?

David: no fuck you, no.

Dameeram: 'v'

Soryorux: thii2 ii2 2o fucked hehehehe

Coruns: nice, just, nice.

Mintianata: this is beutiful

Johan: the pizza rolls are done!

Feferefi: yusss give me t)-(ose )-(otass rolls

Dameeram: speaking of hot asses dirk's really going in for the kill on dave's fine slice of ham

David: fuck off

Teretizi: H3H3H3H33H3H3

24/01/17
"==>"



Dameeram: there

Soryorux: oh, wow alriight

Coruns: nice.

David: the fuck is even going on there?

Rufuforia: send me that shit for later

Mintianata: oh my god no, do not send him fucking anything

Dameeram: alright we're gonna do one more, i'll do david

David: well fuck here we go

24/01/17
"==>"



Soryorux: 2o then uh, what make2 iit a "hyper" pu22 exactly?

David: yea where's megatron's head?

Dameeram: aaaalmost done

24/01/17
"==>"

23/01/17
"==>"



Soryorux: alriight tiizii ii got daviid, and thii2 fucker too, can ii get back to the piillow fort now?

Teretizi: Y3333SSSS YOU M4Y R3SUM3 YOUR POS1T1ON W1TH1N TH3 FORT OF FLUFF

Soryorux: fuck ye2 fef here ii come

Feferefi: )-(e)-(e)-(e)-(e yay, sory i rule over my empire of feat)-(ers and stuffing wit)-( an iron fist, bewaaaaare t)-(e fis)-(lady

Soryorux: fuckiing menaciing a2 all 2hiit, gonna have to go get a change of clothe2 cause ii ju2t 2hat my2elf iin the pre2ence of the fuckiin FII2H LADY

Feferefi: i expect no less, none can )-(andle my gaze, i strike fear into the fearless, i am T)-(E FIIIIS)-( LADY

Soryorux: hehehe fuuuck ye2

David: wow alright then, well i'm glad to finally be back, this place is alot nicer than that fucking sandyass hill, it's humid as fuck in hell after it rains, like jesus fuck

Teretizi: OH Y3SSSS WH4T 4 M1R4CL3 1T 1S TH4T YOU SURV1V3D 4 HUM1D D4Y 1N TH3 UND3RWORLD, PULL1NG THROUGH TH3 MOST TROUBL1NG T1M3S FOR TH3 S4K3 OF US 4LL, YOU 4R3 4 TRU3 H3RO D4V1D, YOUR JOURN3YS H4V3 1NSP1R3D US 4LL, YOU H4V3 STRUCK P4SS1ON 1NTO THOS3 WHO H4D G1V3N UP ON R34L1TY, PR41S3

David: no that's not what i, fuck, fuck you

Teretizi: H3H3H33H3H3H33H3H3H3H3H3H3

Coruns: oh hey there dameer

Dameeram: heeey cor, and hey mint! i'm finally back

Mintianata: haha i can see that, fuckin sweet, man this place is crowded god damn, maybe we could go on some huge fuckin adventure together, get this whole party going, fuckin hit up burger king pick up a sweet stash of burger loot on our way to heaven, go fuck holy up once and for all, get this shit on lock

Teretizi: M1NT NO, F1RST OFF 1 DON'T W4NT TO D34L W1TH H4V1NG TO P1CK 4LL YOU FUCK3RS UP FROM H34V3N/H3LL, 4ND 1F YOU 4CTU4LLY M4N4G3D TO D3F34T H1M, WH1CH WOULD B3 PO1NTL3SS, YOU'D JUST FUCK 3V3RYTH1NG UP MOR3 TH4N 1T 1S 4LR34DY, JUST, FUCK TH4T 1D34, 1F 1 W4NT3D H1M GON3 H3'D B3 GON3

Mintianata: oh, alright, okay, do you mind me asking what the whole point of the cult is if we're not really trying to kill a boss or anything?

Teretizi: TH3R3 1SN'T R34LLY 4 PO1NT TO TH3 "CULT" W3 JUST CH1LL 4ND B41L 34CHOTH3R OUT OF H34V3N/H3LL 4ND PROT3CT 34CHOTH3R FROM TH3 R4NDOM BULLSH1T TH4T S33MS TO B3 CONST4NTLY OCCUR1NG, 1T'S JUST K1ND OF 4 W4Y TO 3NSUR3 TH4T W3 4LL G3T TO L1V3 "H4PP1LY"

Mintianata: that's a tiny bit depressing but, alright at least everybody's here and alive n whatnot

Soryorux: hehehe fef you're 2ofter than the2e fuckiin piillow2

Feferefi: omy

David: what the absolute fuck

Dameeram: so cor what're you three up to?

Coruns: we're just sprawling out on the couch stuffing our faces with hot pockets, it's fucking incredible, the green de la bean is out looking to buy a church or some shit and refurnish it in the name of teretizi, so that's pretty good shit, me and rufu are chatting about how we're going to help mr green to achieve the smol

Dameeram: achieve the smol?

Coruns: yea apparently there are different forms you can unlock which will give you access to new skill trees in your perk menu, the smol is one of the lowest tier forms, apparently kink has achieved the smol, he's probably still shoving points into his fuckin portal stat though, that motherfucker, me and rufu agree that if we blast enough rips in mr green's earholes or, whatever the fuck he uses to hear, he should probably achieve the smol pretty quickly

Rufuforia: yeah i'm pretty sure that should work for the most part, if not, i've got no idea what we could actually do to achieve the smol, it might take a bit to nail this shit, but we'll get it down eventually, if kink can do it then i'm sure the first priest of teretizi should have no trouble achieving smol

Dameeram: oh, pff, sweet, sounds good, hehehe

Mintianata: hehe you find it funny too? the fact that this is an actual fucking thing we're talking about seriously, helping a magic green bean to achieve "smol"

Dameeram: yes it's pretty fucking incredible, by the way do you still have my tablet? i want to get up to some deeeevious deeds, gotta start up on my sick goblin nosed lookin fuckers and watching shitty hour long cosplay videos FOR IRONIC PURPOSES

Mintianata: pff yea it's in the laundry room somewhere

Dameeram: yessss, i think the first thing i'll draw is my "hyperpuss"

David: oh god

Johan: hehe this is such a cluster fuck, i love this, everyone's here, i'm gonna go stuff another load of pizza rolls into the oven

Soryorux: ye22222

Rufuforia: fuuuuuck yes, load up those rolls mothafuuucka

David: i'm actually somewhat interested in how this hyperpuss is going to turn out

Dameeram: heheheheheeheheheehe, I LIKE WOMEN

David: yea i know, i got you man, god damn

Dameeram: BBBBOOOOOOOOOOBS

David: oh my fucking god

Feferefi: that tickles!

Mintianata: coruns move the fuck over, there's some shit happening next to me that i absolutely do not want to be a part of

Corunso: nah brother these legs are staying spread out across this vast cushiony surface, taking up all the space they possibly can

Mintianata: no.... don't tell me you're....

Rufuforia: that's right mint, he's...

Corunso: manspreading, get triggered bitches

Mintianata: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Feferefi: ah!~

David: okay wait no seriously you fuckers calm down in there or get a room what the fuck even

Johan: yea really, jesus christ, oh also i loaded up the pizza rolls they should be done in a minute

Corunso: nice

Teretizi: JOH4N GO 4H34D 4ND THROW 4 F3W T4RTS 1N TH3 TO4ST3R TOO, 1 N33D M4H T4RTS ovo

Johan: alright i'll stuff some tarts in the toaster

Teretizi: H3H3H3H3H3H3 Y3SSS, ONC3 W3 H4V3 F1N1SH3D TH3 T4RTS YOU MUST C4RRY M3 OFF TO MY ROOM 4ND POUND MY 4SSHOL3 V1OL3NTLY

Johan: wow okay, wow, fuck

Corunso: nice

David: jesus christ alright, we're going to need to rent more fucking rooms with everyone getting all fuckin lusty all of a sudden

Dameeram: TOO BAD THERE ARE NO LESBIANS HERE TO SATISFY MY MESMERIZING HYPERPUSS, I LIKE FEMALES, I AM A LESBIAN, I FIND OTHER WOMEN ATTRACTIVE, I LIKE GIRLS!!!!!!! LOOK AT ME LIKING GIRLS OH MY GOD!!!!!

David: fuuuuccccckkkking heeeelllll

Dameeram: sucks we're not in hell anymore, that would have been absolutely HILARIOUS, anyway i'm gonna go get my tablet

Mintianata: coruns you'd better make room for her when she gets back

Corunso: nah brother i took the manspreading pledge, you're just gonna have to scoot closer to sol n fef's shit

Mintianata: ffffffffff

Rufuforia: hehehe cor i think he's triggered

Corunso: gettriggeredscrub

Mintianata: just fuck both of you guys

Dameeram: alright i got my tablet now to get to buisiness

Mintianata: helll yes

Dameeram: i'll need an accurate drawing reference so I SUPPOSE THAT MEANS I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO SPREAD MY LEGS AND EXAMINE MY HYPERPUSS RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF EVERYONE HOW EMBARRASSING OH MY GOODNESS ME!!!!

David: no.

Mintianata: no.

Rufuforia: no.

Johan: no.

Teretizi: FUCK1N GO FOR 1T PFF

David: tizi, y

Dameeram: suppose it's time for a little WOMAN SPREADING AHAHAHAHAWGFHAJKHAHAHAHJAHFAA I'M FUCKING HILARIOUS ;^)

Feferefi: nya!~

Mintianata: wait sory, are you just sitting there, are you two actually even fucking?

Soryorux: nah ii wa2 ju2t haviing her make weiird 2ound2 to 2crew with you guy2

Mintianata: oh my fucking god

Soryorux: triiggered x2

Feferefi: )-(e)-(e)-(e)-(e)-(e)-(e)-(e

Dameeram: DRAWING TIME HERE WE GO

23/01/17
"==>"



Soryorux: pff ii'm not fucuckiin tiizii, but what the ab2olute 2hiit ii2 a le2biian hyperpu22y?

Dameeram: hyperpuss

David: dude i don't know and i don't ever want to know

Soryorux: ii dunno, iit could be 2ome hot 2hiit

David: i fucking doubt it man, let's just get out of here

Soryorux: well we're gonna be takiing her anyway, miint 2aiid to look for her whiile ii wa2 down here... up here? eh fuck iit, let'2 just go

Dameeram: yesss finally i can get back home and start working on my quality garbage, when it comes to garbage, my garbage is simply the best

Soryorux: hehehe fuck yea


23/01/17
"==>"



David: OH MY GOD TIZI THANK FUCK YOU'RE HERE THIS BITCH WAS WHISPERING TO ME ABOUT HER LESBIAN HYPERPUSSY, FUCKING SAVE ME FROM THIS CRAZY BITCH

23/01/17
"==>"



Dameeram: lesssssbian, hyyyyperpusssssss

23/01/17
"==>"



David: wow, just, wow, i look so fucking gross

Dameeram: you sure do

David: oh fuck you

Dameeram: so is she going to be here soon or :?

David: hell if i know

Dameeram: IIIII SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE

David: wait what, no, fuck, fuuuuck me

Dameeram: fuck you mm?

David:...

Dameeram: mmmmmmm?

David: no stop, this is fucking stupid

Dameeram: THAT'S ALRIGHT I WOULDNT FUCC U ANYWAY IM A LESBIAN HAHAGJAWHJHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I AM A LESBIEMNEO LOOK AT MEEE HEHEGAHAGAHAHAGFJAGKLA;GASF FUCK! FUUUUFJAOIHGJK PFF

David: what the fuck

Dameeram: I LIKE GIIIIIIIIIRLS

David: uh, okay, i got it man

Dameeram: BUT I ALSO LIKE GAY SEX AND I GO AROUND ROLEPLAYING AS MEN AND FUCKING OTHER MEN EVEN THOUGH I'M A LESBIAN LOOOOOOL

David: wow, alright dude i don't really give a shit what you get up to in your spare time

Dameeram: I LIKE PUSSSSY

David: aren't you like an alien with alien shit, actually wait, no, i take it back, i didn't ask that question, fuck it, fuck you, fuck this place

Dameeram: i have, an alien, hyperpuss

David: .............. a, hyperpussy ?

Dameeram: hyperpuss

David: hyperpuss.... what the fuck is that supposed to mean, does it have like a fucking laser canon strapped to the front of it, maybe megatron's weirdass gun arm stuck inside it all slanted to the side just sort of fucking slipping out

Dameeram: you'll never know, because it's a..... MYSSSSSETERY

David: alright that's probably for the best anyway...

Dameeram: .....

David: ..............

23/01/17
"==>"



Dameeram: maybe i'll do a little doodle in the sand instead, this should work much better

David: i can't fucking wait

23/01/17
"==>"



Dameeram: damn right it is

23/01/17
"==>"



David: haha what the fuck, that looks so shit

Dameeram: that's the idea

David: is that a fucking nose? what the fuck is up with that nose...this........ this is fucking incredible

23/01/17
"==>"



Dameeram: i'm bored as HELL heheheehe so i'm going to make a stupid picture of your stupid face out of this wood

David: oh, cool

23/01/17
"==>"



David: what're you doing

Dameeram: well...

23/01/17
"==>"



David: sup

Dameeram: i just blew up your house

David: yea i noticed that

Dameeram: so i guess you don't care either do you?

David: not really

Dameeram: BLUGH, it's so stupid down here, or uh, up here, where are we?

David: i've got no fucking idea, it's just "hell" and that's basically it, would it really change anything if we knew it's specific location?

Dameeram: no not really, but nevermind that, i mean, it's just so lame, we can do anything we want here but noooo one caaaaares, why is everyone so bland down here

David: i dunno, i guess that's just sort of how it is, empty and boring as fuck, nothing can really actually ever go wrong for us so, it's kind of hard to give a damn, ykno...

Dameeram: but i could kill you :/

David: yea, and what would that really accomplish?

Dameeram: bluh i don't know, man you're soooo fucking cooool

David: damn right i am

Dameeram: fuck i can't help hating you right now

David: awesome, so are we going to like battle it the fuck out or are we just going to sort of sit around talking about how much you hate me, i mean i'm not really all this boring it's just, something about this place makes me not really feel like doing.... anything, i dunno

Dameeram: well it makes me feel like doing EVERYTHING, i want to mess all this shit up, this place is so fucking boooorrrring

David: i mean that's kind of the point though isn't it, nothing matters, this is supposedly what it means to be happy i guess, to not have anything to worry about?

Dameeram: eh fuck that, do you know where either of the gates are? i know it's pretty unlikely for any adventurers to ever actually wind up in here but if anyone does i'd like to be there :/ i wanna go hang out with mint

David: nah i've got no fucking idea, but tizi is comin for me anyway so if you want to get out of here you could just chill with me

Dameeram: oh alright :/

David: ....

Dameeram: ...

David: ....

Dameeram: .............

David: .....................

Dameeram: THIS SUUUUCKS

David: it really does

23/01/17
"==>"

David: oh great and now some fucker blew up my house, absolutely incredible, that's fine i didn't need a house anyway screw it

23/01/17
"==>"

23/01/17
"==>"

Your name is Dameeram, you enjoy purposely seeking out bad fanfictions and shitty music covers, you actively collect these types of horrible things and show them to your buddies, laughing your ass off while telling them about all of your INTENTIONALLY TERRIBLE interests, sadly you have not been able to talk to your friends for quite a while now due to your RECENT DEATH, but that's not big deal really, you're not too worried about it, you are currently wandering around blowing things up for the HELL of it, AHAAHAHAHAAHHAHWAFGHJGAHAHA, fuck you're hilarious, anyhow, you've actually been running around in here for a while now, this place is tame as all fuck, too tame, you want to rile things up a bit, so you're just pushing this place to it's limit.... if it even has a limit, these monsters seem pretty fucking endless, but who cares, killing shit is fun, not to mention all the levels you happen to be racking up in here will keep you alive until an adventurer opens the gates.... though that's pretty rare, and who cares, YOU DON'T WANT TO LEAVE, everything is so much better here, you just wish your best pal mints were here to keep you company, as great as this place is, it's lonely as all shit, but it's okay, this isn't all that different from being alive, YOU WERE ALREADY DEAD INSIDE ANYWAY HAHAHAGAWJFAHAHAHAHHA, fffffuuuuck, wait who's that guy up there on that mountain, just.... sitting there, he must be bored aswell, maybe you can spice things up a bit for em

23/01/17
"==>"

23/01/17
"Dastardly: Realize Your Flaws And Seek Consolation"

22/01/17
"Dastardly: Just Sort Of Stare Vacantly At The Sky"

Oh great now it's raining, well that's just fine, you like rain anyway, you find it soothing, you're pretty sure anyone who doesn't like rain is most likely a huge ass..... you would not be surprised if holy doesn't like rain, wait, you're not worried about him, his distastes are not your problem, nothing is your problem, there are no problems, everything is fine

22/01/17
"Dastardly: Peer Out Window"

22/01/17
"==>"

Your name is Dastardly Darkness, you like to....well, actually, you don't do much at all, you just sort of sit around in this tower just being.... happy? at least, you think that's what this is, when there's nothing to fix or at least no apparent reason TO fix anything, when you're finally able to just let everything go and accept that none of it holds any meaning..... just, lying there, and staring at the ceiling, you like to call that happiness... honestly you're a bit miserable, you don't really understand what happiness is, but you'd love to believe you already have it, sure you do, what more could you want? The very fact that you're asking yourself this question disgusts you, every time you begin to ponder the answer to this specific question you disregard it immediately, surely everything is perfectly fine anyway, aside from BEING HAPPY you are tasked with spewing HUNDREDS OF LITTLE DEMONS from your eyeslits.... well, not always so little, but you get the idea, you have taken a liking to YOUR GOD teretizi, although your rival holy does not seem to want to accept her as our god, you know he's just being a dick and can't really deny the fact that she made his ass, but that's not important, nothing is, and thus, you're not worried about it, or him, or anything else for that matter, everything is perfectly imperfect, and that's fine, you think, you hope....

22/01/17
"==>"

22/01/17
"==>"



GreenDeLaBean: )n the n)ghtmare rea(m

Corunso: YAYYYYY!

Rufuforia: YAYYYYYYY!!!

Mintianata: oh alright sweet

GreenDeLaBean: Together we w)(( use the u(t)mate powers of raver trash to un)te the wor(d

Mintianata: haha what the fuck, alright anyway, you two wanna come hang out over at tizi's ?

GreenDeLaBean: The mean (ady's cast(e wou(d make for an exce((ent headquarters for the fo((owers of the bean

Mintianata: aight but maybe try to act less like a religious figure cause tizi can be a bit pissy about the whole "i'm god and all you fuckers need to deal with it" thing

GreenDeLaBean: ) w)(( be the f)rst pr)est of our sav)or teret)z), our trave(s w)(( become (egend

Mintianata: pfff, that works

Rufuforia: let's go then

Corunso: once we have settled down in tizi's apartment we must continue our quest, we must help green de la bean to achieve the smol

Rufuforia: indeed, it is the only way, but at this moment we grow hungry, the summoning has drained us both of our energy, we need to hurry over to tizi's before we collapse

GreenDeLaBean: Off we go then my brothers!

22/01/17
"==>"



GreenDeLaBean: ) thank you k)nd(y my d)sc)p(es, for free)ng me from my pr)son

22/01/17
"==>"



Mintianata: WHAT, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU GUYS DO

Corunso: he has risen

Mintianata: WHO!?


Rufuforia: the green de la been

Mintianata: would you mind explaining who the FUCK that's supposed to be!?

Rufuforia: the green de la

Corunso: been de la

Mintianata: oh my fucking god

22/01/17
"==>"



Rufuforia: green de la

Corunso: bean de la

Rufuforia: green de la

Corunso: bean de la

22/01/17
"==>"



Mintianata: oh right of course you guys are just fuckin sitting here, what are you even doing?

22/01/17
"==>"



Mintianata: alright guys i'll be back in a bit, i'm gonna go check ruf and cor's houses and see if they're still fuckin alive

Johan: alright see you man

Teretizi: 1 GU3SS 1 N33D TO GO G3T D4V1D, 1'LL BR1NG H1M 4 F3W 3GGROLLS

Soryorux: hehe he'll fuckiin love that, oh and fef we're goiing to need more piillow2, go raiid tiizii'2 room

Teretizi: >:OOOOO

Soryorux: cmoooon

Teretizi: F1N3 BUT PUT TH3M B4CK WH3N YOU'R3 DON3

Mintianata: come to think of it i wonder what kink's up to.... eh i'm sure he's just racking up fucktons of levels, he'll be fine

Feferefi: i'll go grab as many pillows as i can )-(old

Soryorux: you'd better be a fuckiing octopu2 then because tiizii'2 room ii2 ju2t fuckiing loaded with piillow2

Feferefi: o)-( boy

22/01/17
"==>"



Soryorux: 2o ii2 2he all good?

Johan: yea i think

Teretizi: 1M F1111111N3 J3GUS FUCK

Soryorux: pfff kranky fucker

Teretizi: 1'LL 34444T YOU

Soryorux: alriight alriight whatever

Mintianata: well i'm glad that's all settled out.... waitup i forgot about fuckin rufuforia and corunso, holy shit i gotta go pick those guys up, if they're even still alive at this point, those fuckers get up to so much stupid shit i wouldn't be surprised if they're dead by now

Soryorux: hahahahaha tho2e crazy fucker2? oh my fuckiing god they'd better be aliive ii don't want heaven fuckiing up theiir wacky 2hiit

Mintianata: there is no fucking way those guys would wind up in heaven, they basically give zero shits

Soryorux: pfff ii gue22 that'2 true

Feferefi: mrrrrr)-()-( i'm gonna go build a pillow fortress in t)-(e corner

Soryorux: oh woah fuck ye2, can ii help?

Feferefi: oh u)-(m, it's more like, a fortress of sadness, for me to... be alone in and..

Soryorux: we're goiing to make the dope2t lonely sadne22 fortre22 the world ha2 ever fuckiing 2een

Feferefi: )-(e)-(e o)-( my goodness alrig)-(t

22/01/17
"==>"



David: those fuckers need to hurry up and come get me out of this shit hole, this is so fucking boring

22/01/17
"==>"



Teretizi: 4LR1GHT 1'M B3TT3R NOW

Johan: wait, really?

Teretizi: Y3S

Johan: what the fuck?

Teretizi: L3T'S GO G3T SOM3 OF TH4T CH1N3S3 FOOD B3FOR3 THOS3 FUCK3RS 34T 1T 4LL

Johan: pff they got a fucking mountain of the shit, but yea let's go, hopefully they haven't burned the entire fucking living room down, are you really sure you're alright though?

Teretizi: Y3S 1'M F1N3 BLUH BLUH

Johan: aalright....

22/01/17
"==>"



Johan: well now you're just being a dick

Teretizi: Y34 1 KNOW, 1'M SORRY, JUST, BLUGGGGHH, YOU C4N'T H3LP M3 JUST DON'T WORRY 4BOUT 1T, 1'LL G3T OV3R 1T

Johan: what if i juuuust..

22/01/17
"==>"



Johan: hey uhm, are you alright in here?

Teretizi: NOOOOOOOO

Johan: what's wrong man?

Teretizi: BLUGH JUST, STUP1D SH1T

Johan: it's not stupid dude, it's alright

Teretizi: Y3S 1T 1S 1T'S 4LL JUST STUP1D BULLSH1T

Johan: is there anything i can do to make you feel better?

Teretizi: NO, 1'M L1T3R4LLY FUCK1NG GOD WHY WOULD YOU B3 4BL3 TO F1X MY PROBL3MS

22/01/17
"==>"



Johan: pff sory did you seriously fucking get nothing but eggrolls and chicken

Soryorux: you fuckiing know iit

Mintianata: hehehehe fuuuuck yesss, fef get up off the floor and come eat some shitty chinese food with us

Feferefi: oh u)-(m, alrig)-(t

Teretizi: BLUH BLUH BLUH BLUH BLUH!

Mintianata: what's up with her?

Johan: oh god i don't know, i'm gonna go check

Soryorux: pff good luck wiith that, who want2 to bet 2he eat2 em?

Mintianata: hehe if she eats him that'd be so fuckin stupid

Soryorux: yea we'll probably end up haviing to go get the fucker back from heaven, waiit diid 2he not piick up daviid ? the fuck ii guess we've gotta go do that then

Mintianata: nah screw it i'm pretty sure he won't mind a day or two in hell anyway

Soryorux: true that 2hiit'2 pretty chiill

Feferefi: woop, alrig)-(t give me some of t)-(ose rolls

Soryorux: hell yeah

22/01/17
"==>"


Teretizi: BLUH BLUH BLUH BLUH BLUH

22/01/17
"==>"


Teretizi: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP BL4444RRRRGH

22/01/17
"==>"

MrPillow: Why dont you heeeeelp us

Teretizi: SHUT UP, YOU KNOW TH3R3'S NOTH1NG 1 C4N DO TO H3LP YOU

MrPillow: I know there's nothing you can't do to help us

Teretizi: TH4T'S BULLSH1T, YOU KNOW TH4T'S BULLSH1T

MrPillow: Please help us

Teretizi: F1N3 TH3N, WH4T DO YOU W4NT M3 TO DO FOR YOU NOW, P3RH4PS 1 COULD M4K3 MOR3 WORK, SO TH4T P3OPL3 DON'T H4V3 TO K1LL FOR MON3Y ?

MrPillow: Now we have jobs, but we don't want to work

Teretizi: TH3N 1'LL R3MOV3 TH3 JOBS 4ND JUST G1V3 YOU 4LL 3NOUGH MON3Y TO SURV1V3 W1TH NO 3FFORT WH4TSO3V3R

MrPillow: But now we just sit around living until we're eventually sent up to heaven to be devoured by angels

Teretizi: TH3N 1'LL G3T R1D OF 4LL TH3 4NG3LS

MrPillow: Now we live in a world full of people who don't know why they're here, wishing for some reason as to why they exist, just sitting around staring into the sky each day knowing that there's nothing to fear, nothing they have to overcome, no apparent reason or purpose as to why they have to exist

Teretizi: TH3N 1'LL G1V3 TH3M 4 "HOLY" T4SK TO WORK TOW4RD, 4N ULT1M4T3 GO4L TH4T 4LL MUST HOP3 TO 4CH13V3, TO K33P TH3 UN1V3RS3 ST4BL3

MrPillow: But now we don't want to be responsible for whether or not our universe dies out, we wish we could just live without the restrictions of this odd religion

Teretizi: TH3N 1'LL R3MOV3 TH3 R3L1G1ON 4ND 4DD 3V1L P3OPL3 WHO W1SH TO CORRUPT TH3 WORLD SO TH3 GOOD C4N CONST4NTLY F1GHT B4CK 4G41NST TH3M, THUS G1V1NG TH3M 4 CONST4NT PURPOS3

MrPillow: And now we are right back where we had started, innocent people who do not want to take part in the constant massacre are being brutally murdered

Teretizi: TH3N 1'LL K1LL YOU 4LL, YOU'R3 TH3 PROBL3M, YOU'LL N3V3R B3 H4PPY 4ND 4LL YOU DO 1S F1ND SOM3TH1NG T3RR1BL3 NO M4TT3R WH4T 1 DO FOR YOU

Teretizi: But now, you're alone again

22/01/17
"==>"

22/01/17
"==>"

22/01/17
"==>"

Teretizi: BL3GH

20/01/17
"==>"

19/01/17
"==>"

Teretizi: FUCK1NG N1GG3R TH1NKS H3 C4N L3CTUR3 M3 4BOUT MY OWN F33L1NGS

19/01/17
"==>"

Teretizi: 4LR1GHT FUCK3R, 1 KNOW WH4T YOU'R3 UP TO UP H3R3, YOU SL1PP3RY L1TTL3 B4ST4RD, TRY1NG TO 4DD MOR3 W4LLS 4ND PL4NN1NG TO GO FUCK W1TH H3LL, YOU S3R1OUSLY TH1NK W3'D B3 B3TT3R OFF W1TH TWO FUCK1NG H34V3NS?

HolyLight: W= do not n==d anoth=r h=aven, w= simply n==d to r=move of h=ll, dastardly is att=mpting to halt my progr=ss.

Teretizi: TH4T'S H3R JOB YOU FUCKW4D, YOU BOTH C4NC3L 34CHOTH3R OUT SO NO HUG3 FUCKUPS 3V3R T4K3 PL4C3, YOU JUST K33P GR1ND1NG 4G41NST 34CHOTH3R TOO C4UGHT UP W1TH YOUR OWN BULLSH1T TO 3V3R C4US3 4NY R34L D4M4G3 TO TH3 OUTS1D3 WORLD, DON'T 3V3N FUCK1NG TH11111NK 4BOUT TRY1NG TO W1P3 OUT H3LL, YOU'LL JUST FUCK 3V3RYTH1NG UP FOR YOURS3LV3S

HolyLight: W=ll now that you are against my plans th=r= is not r=ally any choice for m=, is th=r=?

Teretizi: NOT R34LLY, BUT ST1LL FUUUUUUCK YOU FOR 3V3N M4K1NG M3 COM3 UP H3R3 JUST TO T3LL YOU TO DO SOM3TH1NG YOU KNOWWWWW YOU SHOULDN'T B3 FUCK1NG W1TH, WHY C4N'T YOU JUST B3 4 R34L "GOD" WHO WORR13S 4BOUT TH3 B4L4NC3 OF 4LL TH1NGS, 1NST34D OF TRY1NG TO FUCK1NG PUSH 3V3RYTH1NG TO SOM3 R3T4RD3D 3XTR3M3?

HolyLight: I..... I will not take action against h=ll, it is settled, now l=ave m= b=, I am busy.

Teretizi: YOU'R3 NOT BUSY FOR SH1T, YOU'R3 4 US3L3SS S4CK OF G4RB4G3 FLO4T1NG 4ROUND TRY1NG TO G1V3 YOURS3LF 4 R34SON, 1F YOU W4NT 4 PURPOS3, YOUR PURPOS3 1S TO STOP S34RCH1NG FOR PURPOS3, OR 4T L34ST NOT TO S34RCH FOR 1T 1N SUCH FR1VOLOUS W4YS, 1'M GO1NG B4CK TO MY 4P4RTM3NT NOW, DON'T YOU GO G3TT1NG 4NY W1S3 1D34S WH1L3 1'M GON3

HolyLight: You know, you always rant on and on about my s=arch for purpos=, and y=t, you s==m to want it for yours=lf....... oth=rwise, you would not be h=r= y=lling at m= like this.... you know for a fact you could simply d=stroy m=, replac= m=, or =v=n change m= =ntir=ly, warping my mind to a point in which i am no long=r truly mys=lf, I'm not =v=n a r=al thing to you, non= of this is..... but you go so far out of your way to mak= it all so r=al for yours=lf, to make =v=rything so horribl=, to mak= this =ntir= world so tr=ach=rous..... just so you can f==l as if you hav=, a purpos=.

Teretizi: FUCK OFF, 1'M GO1NG HOM3

HolyLight: W= both know you'r= sort of just dancing around in a whit= box sm=aring paint on th= walls to distract yours=lf from th= r=ality that non= of this actually holds any valu=, your apartm=nt, your fri=nds, your =n=mi=s, non= of that =xists, but you mak= it =xist, just to cling on to.... purpos=, w= n==d, a purpos=, it's just who you.... who w= ar=.

Teretizi: NO, 1 KNOW NON3 OF TH1S M4TT3RS, TH4T'S WHY 1'M GO1NG FUCK1NG HOM3 TO S1T 4ROUND ON MY COUCH 4ND STUFF MY F4C3 W1TH DDDDD3L1C1OUS POPT4RTS

HolyLight: Fin= th=n, hav= it your way, I am busy anyhow, goodby=.

18/01/17
"==>"

18/01/17
"==>"

Jackson: MAKE IT STOP


Jackson: PLEASE, SOMEBODY


Jackson: MAKE IT GO AWAY


Jackson: I'VE, I'VE DONE NOTHING BUT TRY TO HELP, I, I DON'T DESERVE THIS, JUST, MAKE IT STOP!



Jackson: IT HURTS

18/01/17
"==>"

18/01/17
"==>"

18/01/17
"==>"

18/01/17
"==>"

18/01/17
"==>"

18/01/17
"==>"

18/01/17
"==>"

18/01/17
"==>"

18/01/17
"==>"

18/01/17
"==>"

What's this.... is that HER voice, oh goodness, if she knows you're watching, but it's not really your choice, you just wish all the voices would stop, all of them, there are too many, there's too much happening, so many people being hurt, everything is just flashing by instantly and it's all, simply horrifying

18/01/17
"==>"

You can't stop seeing.... it, you can't seem to stop seeing........ everything, you have suddenly realized a major flaw of your newfound ability, everything, just keeps, happening, and all of it, is... horrible

18/01/17
"==>"

Your name is Jackson Jeers, and you have just avoided death, though in all honesty you saw that one coming, you always knew that was going to happen, you can't remember not remembering everything, oh wait, yes you can, you can remember everything and thus........ you're starting to confuse yourself, if you had suddenly been given the power to know everything that has ever happened, then how could you fail to recall the times in which you did not know..... but you always have known... i mean of course you haven't because you just suddenly received this ability, and you know that..... but if your ability is to have always known everything from the beginning then, screw it sadly you were not given the ability to understand your new abilities, not that it actually matters, the point is, you see everything, always, forever, and you supposedly always have, you of course plan to use this ability to spy on naughty little la- you mean to get to know people before you meet them and use that as an advantage to.... wait

18/01/17
"==>"

18/01/17
"==>"

17/01/17
"==>"



Feferefi: wait )-(e's, )-(e's cras)-(ing, i mean like, not into t)-(e building, i t)-(ink )-(e missed some)-(ow

Mintianata: haha how the fuck would anyone even manage that, even if he shouldn't be able to steer, not only has he made it this far, but being as close as he was to the building, crashing should have hit us anyway, what the absolute fuck, i can't believe i'm saying this but, things made more sense in the fucking nightmare realm

Johan: well i guess let's just be glad the shitty logic played out in our favor for once, or hell for all we know maybe tizi shot em down

Feferefi: )-(ow would s)-(e know?

Johan: if jackson has the ability to know everything, then why wouldn't she? that's probably one of her weakest abilities honestly

Feferefi: i guess you're rig)-(t

Soryorux: what're you guy2 lookiing at the wiindow for

Johan: oh hey sory, you got the chinese shit?

Soryorux: no ii ju2t happened to run iinto thii2 huge brown bag and deciided ii 2hould 2uddenly port back over here to 2how you guy2

Johan: pff, fuck off, also we were watching another one of those shitty suicide bombers, this one was a salamander

Soryorux: fuckiin niice

17/01/17
"==>"

17/01/17
"==>"

17/01/17
"==>"



Feferefi: w)-(at's that outside

Johan: oh, it looks like one of those planes people are constantly trying to crash into our apartment, tizi will take care of it, we get like five of those each day

Feferefi: but... s)-(e's not )-(ere

Johan: oh, right....... you think that's gonna be a problem?

Feferefi: i dunno, PROBABLY

Johan: yea..........

Feferefi: w)-(ere is she even, w)-(y would s)-(e just randomly leave if t)-(ere's people constantly attempting to cras)-( planes into )-(er apartment

Johan: she went to go have some shitty chat with holy

Feferefi: w)-(o?

Johan: "god"

Feferefi: o)-( rig)-(t, of course

Johan: i think our main concern would be the plane though, not what she's up to

Mintianata: pff, if he's crashing the plane anyway why's the shit got fucking missiles?

Johan: hell if i know

Mintianata: also wait up that's a salamander, last i checked you needed arms to fly a plane


17/01/17
"==>"



Johan: i love you teretizi, yes i do

Mintianata: man that's fuckin sick, just, eugh

Feferefi: wait erm, jo)-(an...

Johan: i'm a bit busy~

Feferefi: yea)-(, i can see t)-(at, but..


17/01/17
"==>"



George: you the fucker who ordered this bigass sack of shit?

Soryorux: well.... ii'm the only one here, 2o, ykno

George: aight well fuck you man, pay up n get your ass outta here before i kick it

Soryorux: alriight alriight god damn, cya 2crrrrroiil

Scroil: Meh.

17/01/17
"==>"



Soryorux: why the fuck are chiine2e place2 so goddamn weiird

Shaggy2dope: hell if i know man, wait were you talking to me or my friend here? guess it doesn't really matter, neither of us understand the chinese voodoos, so can i take your order?

Soryorux: wa2 ju2t kiind of talking to my2elf, but uh, whatever, ii'll have uhm, ju2t a load of eggroll2, ju2t fucking fiill a 2ack wiith a fuckton of eggroll2

Shaggy2dope: heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellll yea, give em a big order, fuckers back there be lazin around in the kitchen smokin a joint

Soryorux: haha, what the fuck

Scroil: Quit the ssssmall talk and get thissss fucker'ssss order into the kitchen, I want thisssss ssssslimey motherfucker out of my ssssight.

Soryorux: pff, a giiant fuckiing 2nake just called me a 2liimey motherfucker, 2iir snakeman, you have made my day

Scroil: Meh.

Soryorux: do you not get how that'2 2ort of funny, for a giiant 2nake to call 2omeone "2liimey"?

Scroil: No jusssst, I don't care what you think.

Soryorux: uh okay then

Scroil: Yeah, okay.

Soryorux: your 2nake pal ii2 a biit of a diick

Shaggy2dope: yea just don't mind him, he gets into alot of dumb fights over being an edgy bastard

Scroil: Meh.

Shaggy2dope: he's very vocal about not caring, everyone sees it as passive aggression, n yea it probly is, but its best if we just ignore em

Scroil: Yea jussssst ignore my exisssstence, I don't matter anyway, but don't get on my bad sssside or you'll regret it, kid.

Soryorux: oh nooo, he'2 gonna kiill me wiith fuckiing meh2

Scroil: Meh.

Shaggy2dope: aight chill out you two, holdup, aye you fuckers back there get your asses up and load up a bag with like, hell i dunno, fifty fuckin eggrolls

Soryorux: and a god damn piile of that chiicken 2hiit wiith the orange glaze or whatever the fuck

Shaggy2dope: what he said, i know you fuckers can hear em from here, and he's literally the only customer so just, fuck it, aight that'll be one hundred swastikas

Soryorux: haha food ii2 2o fuckiing cheap what'2 that about?

Shaggy2dope: oh uh, has something to do with food not having any apparent "game benefits", i don't really understand it but whatever

Soryorux: work2 for me

Shaggy2dope: well now that they're workin on your truckload of food, imma head out back for a break, don't get into any trouble with scroil

Scroil: As if ssssstanding around in here for an hour issssn't a break.

Shaggy2dope: no smokin inside tho, and i know those fuckers in the kitchen are goin at it, but i'm not gonna get in fuckin trouble with the boss

Soryorux: why the hell do you work here anyway, if the food costs so little the pay must be fucking terrible, you could just do some shitty quests and make a thousand swastikas within an hour or two

Shaggy2dope: the pay? hell i don't make money, i'm a nigger

Soryorux: oh.... right, damn... okay, shit

Shaggy2dope: well uh, i'll be back in five, scroil don't fuck with the customer

Scroil: Meh.


17/01/17
"Soryorux: Enter Portal"

17/01/17
"==>"

17/01/17
"==>"



Soryorux: aiight 2EE you fucker2 iin a miinute

Johan: don't make bad puns you'll kill my boner

Soryorux: eugh, fuckiin hell

Feferefi: i can not believe you people are basically t)-(e most powerful living t)-(ings to ever exist

Johan: tizi says all of us including herself are insignificant specks of dust, and that even if something stronger than her were to come and wipe us out instantly it wouldn't change anything because there's nothing to actually ever change

Feferefi: aren't you guys supposed to be c)-(eering me up

Johan: oh, erm, that is how tizi cheers people up, i guess she just says stuff differently to make it sound nicer

Feferefi: glub :(

Mintianata: why do all you fuckers always have to be so down in the dumps, we've got pizza rolls, we're living the fucking good life

Johan: yessssssssssssss

17/01/17
"==>"



Soryorux: you know there'2 no way ii can ever know what thii2 say2 riight, iif iit even say2 anything at all, ii mean, iit might be a drawing for all ii know

Johan: yea i know

Soryorux: well, fuck you too then, gue22 ii'll go get the food now

17/01/17
"==>"



Johan: alright but before you go...

Soryorux: what the fuck are you doiing?

17/01/17
"==>"



Johan: shut up soryorux, i'll get the chinese food just, just give me a second, just, one......... second

Soryorux: what the ab2olute fuck

Mintianata: he's like humping some fuckin pillow with an exceptionally shitty drawing of, i think tizi on it, i can't really tell aside from the face

Johan: i'll pick up the chinese food in a minute, give me a minute...... maybe thirty

Soryorux: fuck fine ii'll piick up the chiine2e food, iit'2 not really a biig fuckiin deal

Mintianata: helllll yea

Feferefi: i will drown my sadness in s)-(itty takeout

Soryorux: that'2 the 2piiriit

17/01/17
"==>"



Johan: so he actually does have the ability to fucking teleport instantly, what the fuck even

Soryorux: hehe hurry up and go get that chiine2e food you niigger

Mintianata: wait, johan what the fuck are you doing to that pillow....

Soryorux: what, what'2 he doiing?

Mintianata: he's like, he's.... eugh

Soryorux: what the fuck ii2 he doiing to the piillow?

17/01/17
"Jackson: Fracture-port Out Of This Bitch"

17/01/17
"==>"



Jackson: I just so happened to hear that somebody requires my services

Feferefi: NO!

Jackson: Have it your way, bitch, i mean, i will respect your boundaries, madam

Soryorux: hahahaha thii2 ii2 fuckiin 2tupiid

Johan: jackson you know this is literally tizi's apartment, shit's a level 999 dungeon full of cultists, you literally just barely escaped us and now you're just waltzing up inside our fuckin house

Jackson: Well it just so happens that my horse never actually died when teritizi split him in half, instead his existence has been scattered throughout reality, basically becoming a large chunk of.... well, everything, and because of that, for no apparent reason whatsoever, i am now able to see literally everything that ever happens, always, forever, and teleport seamlessly, with zero effort, because i am, the main character, in this, epic, journey

Soryorux: PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Johan: sounds like a load of bullshit

Jackson: you're a load of bullshit, i mean, you are a person who i kindly disagree with

Johan: well i'm gonna kill your sorry ass, so you'd better fracture-port out of here or whatever the fuck

Jackson: cheers

Mintianata: okay could you fuckers hurry up with the chinese food or whatever, i'm hungry as all shit, and i could use another coma to escape from this existential nightmare anyway...... by, escaping to, the nightmare realm, how reasonable, i mean, it was pretty fuckin chill in there anyway, the demigod of nightmares was havin a hugeass rave, dope shit

Johan: alright yea i'll go port over to the chinese place right after i'm done dealing with jackson's shit

17/01/17
"==>"



Soryorux: are you 2ure? 2he 2eem2 pretty up2et

Johan: problem count equals zero

Soryorux: pff

Feferefi: BLU)-( BLU)-( BLU)-( BLU)-( BLU)-(!

Mintianata: eugh i've got such a fuckin headache, wait where are we

Johan: oh uh, this is tizi's place

Mintianata: guess that explains why there's a fucking toaster on the coffee table

Johan: ..... oh, that wasn't there a second ago, eh fuck it

Soryorux: thii2 ii2 retarded, johan order a fuckiin piizza, thii2 2peciifiic type of niight call2 for piizza

Johan: we were just about to make pizza rolls though

Soryorux: 2uddenly thii2 ii2 a chiine2e food type of niight, fuck the piizza we need chiine2e 2hiit

Mintianata: fuck yes

Johan: well i can't argue with that, but what kind of chinese food place delivers?

Soryorux: dude liiterally all four of u2 have the abiiliity to conjure fuckiing portal2, al2o ii love how we're ju2t a22e22iing our fa2t food optiion2 whiile fii2h lady ha2 a mental fucking breakdown on the floor, ha2 anyone con2iidered giiviing her a fuckiin hug?

17/01/17
"==>"



Soryorux: hey guy2, waiit there'2 people around me right? gam kiind of ju2t 2hoved me iinto a portal 2o for all ii know ii'm iin the miiddle of a fuckiing de2ert, but iit feel2 kiind of niice iin here 2o ii'm ju2t goiing to a22ume that's not the ca2e, ii2 thii2 hell?

Feferefi: o)-(, O)-(, OF COURSE, you know w)-(at, t)-(at's it, i'm fucking done, i just can't take it anymore, c)-(ristian wizards, god's an edgelord, and now..... and now T)-(IS, of course, of fucking course, i'm just going to lie on t)-(e floor and pretend t)-(is isn't the reality we're stuck wit)-(

Johan: yes, this is hell, welcome my demon brother, to the underworld

Soryorux: 2weet, so what'2 her problem?

Johan: nothing, nothing at all, don't even worry about it

16/01/17
"==>"

16/01/17
"==>"



Feferefi: i guess t)-(ere's no real point in turning back now, it's not like i'm gonna be getting my soul back, bleg)-(, alrig)-(t i'll start up some pizza rolls

Johan: hell yeah, i'll put mintianata on the couch, sory should be here in a bit

Feferefi: o)-( sweet

Johan: yea he's pretty great, but apparently he lost his eyes to a christian wizard or some shit so, who fuckin knows what that's gonna be like

Feferefi: a c)-(ristian... wizard

Johan: yep

16/01/17
"==>"

16/01/17
"==>"

16/01/17
"==>"



Johan: well hello there, uhm, the hell are you carrying that dude around for?

Feferefi: well.... you see, he's kind of, passed out... so, i didn't want to leave )-(im at my )-(ouse, and, i mean, i didn't carry )-(im all t)-(e way )-(ere that would be ridiculous, i just sort of.... nudged )-(im t)-(roug)-( t)-(e portal

Johan: oh right, so uh, come on in, we've got plenty of pizza rolls, you might have to just push all the laundry off of the couch and onto the floor, there might be a stoner passed out in the bathroom so just be on the lookout for stuff like that, you can eat whatever you want, we don't really care and uh, welcome to the cult i guess, assuming you are the person who was dropping by to join the cult that is...

Feferefi: so wait, t)-(at's, t)-(at's it? i'm in the cult? i don't have to sell my soul to teretizi or some crazy cult t)-(ingy like t)-(at?

Johan: i mean, the selling your soul part is kind of optional, but it's more like a soul bank than an actual "oooo your soul is mine get fucked" it's probably best if tizi does have your soul, oh wait she just texted me, she says she's already got it, transaction of 1:Feferefi Soul. successfully completed or some shit like that, she's bein weird again

Feferefi: wait, W)-(AT T)-(E FUCK, S)-(E TOOK MY SOUL?, i didn't agree to this, w)-(at, w)-(at does taking my soul even do?

Johan: hell if i know, i just messaged her asking if we needed your soul or whatever and she said that she already took it and gave life to our toaster, so i mean, sweet, enchanted soul toaster, i wonder what kind of benefits that has

16/01/17
"==>"



Johan: well that's some convenient timing..... or inconvenient, kind of depends on how you look at it, i don't really want to deal with these fucking cult members, eh i'm sure they're fine

16/01/17
"==>"

16/01/17
"==>"



Johan: alright tizi i'm back, jackson got away, but he won't make it far without the readingrainbowdash, erm, i'm guessing we need to go and pick up david now?

Teretizi: Y34 W3'LL GO G3T H1M 1N 4 M1NUT3, 1T'S NO HURRY R34LLY, H3'S NOT STUCK 1N H34V3N OTH3RW1S3 W3'D 4LR34DY B3 OV3R TH3R3 K1CK1NG 4NG3L 4SS3S, W3'R3 JUST GONN4 H4NG 4ROUND H3R3, M1NT14N4T4 PHON3D M3 1N 4BOUT SOM3 N3W M3MB3R TO TH3 CULT 3V3N THOUGH 4LL 1T R34LLY T4K3S TO B3 1N MY SH1TTY CULT 1S JUST LY1NG 4ROUND MY HOUS3 34T1NG JUNKFOOD 4ND T4LK1NG SH1T ON 4NYON3 WHO DO3SN'T H4PP3N TO B3 1N TH3 CULT, SO YKNO

Johan: yea i know, i literally live here with you, shit's a mess

Teretizi: 4LSO 1 GU3SS 1'M GONN4 H4V3 TO V1S1T HOLY 1N 4 B1T B3C4US3 H3'S PULL1NG SOM3 HUG3 D1CK MOV3 4G41N 1N HOP3S OF "PROGR3SS1NG" OR WH4T3V3R, 4ND ONC3 1'M DON3 W1TH TH4T 1'LL RUN B4CK DOWN H3R3 4ND W3 C4N 4LL M4K3 SMOR3S OR SOM3 SH1T, HOOK UP SOM3 SYCK4SS P1ZZ4 ROLLS, SO UH, WH4T 1'M S4Y1NG 1S, YOU'R3 GONN4 1NTRODUC3 TH3 N3W GUY OR WH4T3V3R, M4YB3 CL34N TH3 PL4C3 UP 4 L1TTL3 ?

Johan: alrighty

Teretizi: 1 DON'T R34LLY C4R3 WH4T YOU DO, SO LONG 4S YOU STOP W34R1NG TH4T FUCK1NG ROB3 TH1NK1N YOU'R3 HOT SH1T, YOU LOOK L1K3 4 FUCK1N DUNK

Johan: ffiiiine

Teretizi: OH 4ND SORY 1S GONN4 B3 DROPP1NG BY, 4PP4R3NTLY H3 L3T M1NT14N4T4 RUN OFF C4US3 H3 D1DN'T R34LLY G1V3 4 SH1T, 4ND 1 GU3SS TH1S CHR1ST14N FUCK3R T3L3PORT3D 1NTO TH31R HOUS3 4ND JUST SORT OF TOOK H1S 3Y3S 4S 4N OFF3R1NG TO J3SUS CHR1ST OR SOM3 W31RD SH1T L1K3 TH4T, TOS4V4R4S GOT 1NJUR3D 1N SOM3 W4Y 4SW3LL 4PP4R3NTLY, BUT SORY D1DN'T R34LLY T3LL M3 MUCH 4BOUT TH4T, 4ND H3'S NOT P4RT OF OUR CULT SO 1 COULDN'T G1V3 L3SS OF 4 SH1T 4BOUT H1M, SO UH, Y34, B3 R34DY FOR 4LL TH4T, 1'MM4 GO HOP OV3R TO H34V3N, 1'LL P1CK UP D4V1D WH1L3 1'M OUT, P34C3

Johan: damn alright see ya around

16/01/17
"Door: Open"

16/01/17
"==>"

16/01/17
"==>"

14/01/17
"==>"

14/01/17
"<.>_<.>"

14/01/17
"==>"

14/01/17
"Mintianata: Suffer Food Induced Coma"

14/01/17
"==>"



Feferefi: w)-(at are you doing...

Mintianata: oh dont mind me im just tearing into a fresh bag of chisps, so uhm, i'm guessing all of that, that means you've been there before then, right, you got all stuck up in heaven or some shit ? or at least that's what you seem to be implying

Feferefi: oh, u)-(m, yea)-(, yes

Mintianata: well, if it's really all that bad, i say you go hook up with tizi's cult or whatever, they're pretty tight about bailing out their pals or whatever

Feferefi: but s)-(e's, s)-(e's bad.... s)-(e's )-(orrible

Mintianata: from my personal experience with her, she's just about as horrible as mr god dude is good, though i've never really met the guy, i don't think anyone has, you know, aside from people who were pretty much killed instantly, but we can kind of tell he must be sort of an ass

Feferefi: i don't know... s)-(e's just, t)-(e t)-(ings s)-(e does, s)-(e...

Mintianata: what's she actually done though ? i mean like i just said, i've actually met with her before, and look at me, i'm still alive, sure she kills fucktons of people, but those fucktons of people were kind of trying to kill her..... it's just like you and all the people setting up portals in your house, or people ignoring you in heaven, they treat you like a game piece, same with tizi, she's a final boss, so people try to kill her, and she kills them, it's not really her choice................ or maybe it is, she makes it sound like all of this is her choice..... like, eh, i don't know it's all really confusing

Feferefi: yea)-(, i guess it's wort)-( a s)-(ot, but, i just don't know, i don't t)-(ink being part of a cult is really my t)-(ing

Mintianata: her cult is pretty much just a bunch of people sitting on a couch watching shitty sitcoms and bailing other cult members out of trouble whenever shit stirs up, it's honestly pretty tight, it's better than moping around here isn't it ?

Feferefi: i suppose, yea)-( it really does, w)-(at's wit)-( all you people suddenly just waltzing in wit)-( obvious solutions to all of my problems

Mintianata: hell if i know, anyway i'm gonna pass the fuck out now, just have a food induced coma or some shit, peace, i'm off to dreamland, wish me fuckin luck

Feferefi: o)-( )-(e)-(e, if you wind up in the nig)-(tmare realm, see if you can find mr silly onion man, )-(e's great

Mintianata: onion man ?

14/01/17
"==>"



Feferefi: all of t)-(em just ignore you, t)-(ey just marc)-( onward in )-(opes of being t)-(e one to kill the dumb boss, eac)-( and every one of t)-(em believing t)-(at t)-(ey can be t)-(e one to free all of us at once, eac)-( of t)-(em t)-(ink t)-(emselves to be special, as if t)-(ey'll be the one to finally bring an end to it all, and you just sit t)-(ere being torn apart for t)-(e t)-(ousandt)-( time watc)-(ing t)-(em walking away.... just )-(oping even one of t)-(em will scoop you up and bring you as far away from t)-(at )-(orrible place as t)-(ey possibly can, but t)-(ey just keep walking, and t)-(en you're dead, again, and suddenly, your eyes open, to a new batc)-( of angels, and a new group of adventurers walking off into the distance

Mintianata: well, okay, fuck

13/01/17
"==>"



Feferefi: you know.... w)-(en t)-(e inevitable finally catc)-(es up with you and, you end up actually dying, w)-(en you're actually stuck up t)-(ere being torn apart by t)-(ousands of )-(orrible little monsters w)-(ile these ass)-(oles trample over your countless amount of corpses on t)-(eir way to fig)-(t some stupid boss, just.... just ignoring you as you beg t)-(em to save you... it's a lot different in comparison to doing a silly drawing of it, or even talking about it for t)-(at matter

Mintianata: oh, uhm, well, yeah that does sound like it would be pretty bad, but i'm sure someone would help you...... right ?, and i mean, it's not like we're going to die any time soon, we're very much alive so..

13/01/17
"==>"



Mintianata: here i'll do a drawing, alright yea, like, there's these two huge stupid gates or whatever that adventurers can enter by ascending the last set of stairs n shit, and then there's the walls between the gates and the yard, and the yard is like..... a huge edgy pool of suffering souls, at least in heaven that is, you're just constantly eaten alive, reborn in heaven, and then eaten again, though in hell it's more like........ super chill i guess ? people don't really come back from hell often so.... yeah, and then there's the man in the middle, the big man himself, or woman, or thing, or whatever the fuck they are..... and like, if you break through the wall you can kill shit in the yard and free people but most guys don't really care to do that, so, that's kind of assholey but, adventurers mostly head up there to fight the boss, although no one's ever really beaten them....... which just kind of leads to them being another edgy wandering soul or whatever, there we go the drawing is done, this looks okay right ?

Feferefi: o)-(...... erm..... sure ? )-(e)-(e, u)-(, but yes t)-(at is sorrrrt of )-(ow it works, for the most part, bleg)-(, you make it all seem like alot less big of a deal, but w)-(en you're actually... you know

Mintianata: actually what, i don't know, what do you mean


13/01/17
"==>"



Feferefi: okay, erm, u)-(, i'll, i'll try to explain, so u)-(m, you know )-(ow t)-(e w)-(ole )-(eaven and )-(ell t)-(ing works right ?

Mintianata: oh god it's related to this shit..... fucking christ, alright yeah i, i know how they work it's like....

13/01/17
"==>"



Mintianata: so uh, what's wrong ?

Feferefi: w)-(at?

Mintianata: i mean like, why are you crying your eyes out as if captain crunch's ship is sinking and only your tears can keep that shit afloat, motherfuckers be boarding all the life boats they can although they're in danger due to the sudden nonexistence of any ocean whatsoever, niggers just be expecting that no matter what happens, life boats = life, but that's beside the point, why're you crying ?

Feferefi: just because..... because everyt)-(ing, everyt)-(ing is making me cry

Mintianata: yea but that's what everybody says when they're sad, just some stupid "everything is wrong", they get themselves all shitass sad about one specific thing and then start going off finding all the horrible things in life that don't actually even matter, and then they realize none of it matters, and suddenly they don't matter, nothing matters, existential crisis time, woe is me eeeeverything is wrong and everyone's out to get me

Feferefi: but it's not like t)-(at it's...

Mintianata: then what's it like man, do you even know ?

13/01/17
"==>"



Mintianata: do you want one of my shitty lunchable crackers ?

Feferefi: o)-( u)-(m.... no t)-(ank you

Mintianata: alright if you say so

13/01/17
"==>"



Mintianata: so uh....

13/01/17
"Kinkranak: Conjure Lvl: 40. Portal"



Kinkranak: well, i'll 6e 9ff n9w, g99d luck y9u tw9

Feferefi: gooodbyye, t)-(ank you for all of your )-(elp


13/01/17
"==>"



Kinkranak: there, that sh9uld keep 9ut l9wer level p9rtals, and seeing as the maj9rity 9f p9rtals appearing in y9ur hive are levels 5-10, this sh9uld w9rk just fine, kind 9f inc9nvenient f9r players n9w that i think a69ut it, f9r level 5-10 p9rtals t9 6ring them t9 a lvl 25 dunge9n.....


13/01/17
"==>"



Kinkranak: well g99d news ma'am, it seems there is n9t a 6oss hiding within y9ur hive, i supp9se the fact that this dunge9n hasn't 6een marked as cleared is m9st likely just a small glitch

Feferefi: o)-( )-(e)-(e, that's u)-(m, t)-(at's good to )-(ear

Kinkranak: th9ugh 9n the 9ther hand it seems as if y9ur h9me is a h9tsp9t for l9w tier p9rtals, i 6elieve using my Lvl:15. P9rtal-Denial i c9uld at the very least.... reduce the amount of inc9ming p9rtals, if y9u'd like

Feferefi: o_o w)-(at

Kinkranak: 9h d9 you like the p9rtals?

Feferefi: o)-( no no no no no, please do w)-(atever you can, i was just surprised i never realized t)-(at was an option

Mintianata: ssssuuup motherfuckers, so uh, fish lady you don't mind if i crash here right? i mean you're kind of literally having a conversation about keeping people out of your hive, but i've got a backpack full of shitty lunchables so i won't be fuckin digging through your fridge or anything, i'll keep shit discrete

Feferefi: bleg)-( fine, i already )-(ave enoug)-( crazy people w)-(o come throug)-( )-(ere daily anyway, it'd be kind of ridiculous to kick out t)-(e few people w)-(o are actually c)-(ill

Mintianata: hell, yes, leather couch motherfuuuuuckers, aright you two enjoy your lameass chat i'm gonna go pass out on the heavenly leather couch, just feel that sweetass cold leather up against my face, ffffffffffuuuuuck yes

Feferefi: )-(e)-(e w)-(at a weird guy

Kinkranak: yes he is a 6it 9dd, well then i'll just get t9 setting up this p9rtal denial spell


13/01/17
"==>"

13/01/17
"==>"

13/01/17
"==>"



Soryorux: wow that portal ii2 ab2olute 2hiit

Mintianata: yea it really is, holy fuck i need to put some points into that shit eventually, anyway catch you fuckers later, just hope this shit doesn't take me to the junkyard or some stupid garbage like that, also here's my number real quick, give that shit to the horse, i want to see how he feels about picking up a couple burgers tonight

Tosavaras: oh my fucking god

Soryorux: haha, hell ye2, ii'll make 2ure he gets thii2, cya

13/01/17
"==>"

13/01/17
"==>"



Mintianata: aight well, peace niggers

Tosavaras: no wait you can't fucking leave we have to watch y...... you know what actually yeah, later man

Soryorux: pffffff, fuckiing 2ee you around 2peed racer lookiina22 motherfucker

Tosavaras: this dude's like 20 anyway, the fuck are we supposed to do tape him to the wall?

Soryorux: we don't need a 2hiitty excu2e ju2t let em go, iit'll all be on gam anyway, 2crew iit

11/01/17
"==>"



Korlozaru: hey there friend, is gam there by any chance?

Tosavaras: yeah uh, he thought you guys were the cops and kind of bolted upstairs

Korlozaru: oh that's a shame, he must've seen our little friend's helmet, i told him to take it off before we came inside, he's always getting weird looks wearing that thing around in public

Tosavaras: uhhhhh.. okay, uhm, so what is it you needed ?

Brian: Well, the two of us are dealing with some important matters in which the safety of our little friend is not exactly...... guaranteed, so we're hoping he could stay here while we're out, we know this is a healthy christian household, he'll be in good hands here.

Soryorux: hehehehe we got 2ome crazy motherfucker2

Tosavaras: shhhhh

Brian: Excuse me?

Tosavaras: uh, my friend here was just saying that we're a bit busy and........

Korlozaru: look brother, he won't be any trouble, he's just.... not all there, you know what i mean ?

Tosavaras: uhhhh........

Mintianata: he tells me that alot, i'm "not all there" supposedly this jesus christ dude will help me find myself or whatever, so that's cool, jesus seems pretty chill i guess, i mean i could see me and him being pretty close pals or whatever if it weren't for him always riding my dick every time i so much as swear, go strokin my bulge and this fucker gets all up in my shit, drawing this nonexistent line just to fuck with me, i mean supposedly he's going around trying to cure the evils of this world or whatever, and yea that's cool n all but i guess he's not really looking at the big picture here, like he's not exactly putting much thought into how he's going to go about this whole "curing all evil" thing, instead of taking down the main sources of evil and then just sort of letting these little bits simmer down, he's gotta go and be this all-powerful force attempting to destroy all evil with one fell swoop, but in turn ends up just slowly whittling away at it, while the evil itself just continues growing at an unfathomable rate, and yea i guess if he's supposedly like this all seeing light or whatever i can understand why he wouldn't want to have to be staring down at my goddamn bulge, but with all this other crazy shit going on i just don't see why he's got to get on my ass about every little "mistake" i just so happen to make, like maybe if this fucker could lighten up and realize i'm on his fuckin side when it comes to this whole "creating a better world" thing, we'd be tight as all shit, or if he'd just let me live out my pathetic fuckin life not giving a shit, i mean honestly i don't have any real impact on our existence, sort of floating throughout reality just, existing.... oh holy shit you guys have a tv, these fuckers don't let me watch anything, apparently jesus isn't cool with cartoons or some shit, although i'm pretty sure even he needs a way to pass the fuckin time every now and then, i mean come the fuck on lighten up, we've got people cutting people up and fucking their open wounds out here and you're getting all up in my business trying to say i can't watch a colorful animation while i eat some lucky charms, just lettin time fly by on a sweetass saturday morning, like what the fuck is this guy's problem

Tosavaras: what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, does he ever shut the f-

Korlozaru: shhhh shh shhh shhh sh sh sh, just let him think things through for himself, he's going through a rough time in his life right now

Brian: the boy needs jesus

Mintianata: i really do need jesus, i need jesus to calm the fuck down and let me enjoy the little things in life, i'm not a threat to anyone so why should i have to deal with these bullshit rules, i mean i get it, don't kill people, don't rape people, don't be an ass in general, but he's kind of shitting on his own "don't be an ass" rule by restricting stupid shit like cartoons and wanking, shit's not hurting anybody, i'm not a danger to anyone so why do i have to be treated like this....... oh holy shit, there's a horse out there, in your fuckin yard, i see a horse, me and that horse could be good fuckin friends, head down to dairy queen pick up a few burgers just kind of laugh the night away, stroll on over to the beach and just watch as the sun sets majestically upon the ocean and yet another exciting day comes to a graceful end, we'd just gaze into the distance, sharing the last few fries we found lying around the bottom of the bag, just me and him, just me and the horse

Soryorux: that hor2e 2uddenly 2ounds tiight a2 fuck

Tosavaras: why does everyone have to be fucking insane, can i not meet one fucking person who doesn't talk about crazy shit like eating burgers with a horse

Brian: Well, we'll be off now, take good care of our little christian friend here, don't let him get up to anything mischievous, we'll be back in about a........ well a week

Tosavaras: WHAT, WHAT NO WHAT THE FUCK, DON'T GO

Soryorux: hahaha, there they fuckiing go dude, look at tho2e biinche2 all walkiing away n 2hiit, that'2 iit, ii'm doiing the 2ound effect, pchoooooo~, you and gam are 2o fucked

Tosavaras: ME AND GAM?, you're in this boat with us you little bitch

Soryorux: pffffffff, fuck that, they 2aiid 2peciifiically they're droppiing thii2 guy off wiith gam, ii can leave any tiime ii want, but we both know you're not goiing out there, you're 2cared 2hiitle22 of the out2iide world at thii2 poiint, you fuckiin pu22y

Tosavaras: okay, fuck you, fuck that shit because i'm not getting my bulge cut off or any more eyes torn out, and fuck jesus

Mintianata: hell yea


Soryorux: al2o 2iince when ha2 je2u2 had anythiing to do wiith cartoon2? ii thiink your "parent2" or caretaker2 or whatever the fucuck they're 2uppo2ed to be are ju2t beiing huge diick2

Mintianata: damn right, now if you guys don't mind i think i'm gonna go see if that horse has plans saturday night

Tosavaras: no, no you are not, you are going to sit on the couch, but you can watch whatever the fuck you want, just, don't get up to anything fucking stupid, you're going to get killed fuckin around with animals

Mintianata: fuck that i'm not staying here

11/01/17
"==>"



Gamzazzeraz: ShIt sHiT ShIt sHiT ShIt, ThAt's gOtTa bE ThE CoPs, No oNe cOmEs uP HeRe, YoU GuYs aNsWeR ThE DoOr i'm hIdInG UpStAiRs, TeLl mE WhEn tHeY'Re gOnE, dOn't lEt tHeM LoOk iN ThE LaUnDrY RoOm, PeAcE OuT MoThErFuCkErS!

Soryorux: haha what the fuck

Tosavaras: what ? oh he's gone alright okay uh, i'll answer the door i guess, what the fuck even

Soryorux: guess he'2 got iit bad wiith the fuzz, you never really know what that motherfucker'2 gettiing up to

Tosavaras: yeah i guess that's true, alright one second sory i'm gonna see who's there

11/01/17
"==>"


Tosavaras: man, i'm gonna have to side with gam on this one, with all the wacky shit we're capable of, is making a fucking cake appear really all that incredible ?

Soryorux: you cannot deny thii2 ii2 the work of je2u2 fuckiing chrii2t

Tosavaras: now you just sound like a religious nigger

Soryorux: fuck you, thii2 ii2 a je2u2 cake, thii2 ii2 the cake of je2u2

Tosavaras: alright man, whatever you say dude, this IS now, the cake of jesus

Gamzazzeraz: I CaLl bUlLsHiT, tHiS Is tHe cAkE Of bUlLsHiT, yOu'rE NoT GoInG Up cAlLiNg mY MoThErFuCkIn rElIgIoUs fIgUrE On yOuR ShItTy aSs jItTeRbUg mOtHeRfUcKiN FlIp pHoNe aNd sAyInG ThIs mOtHeRfUcKeR Is sItTiNg aRoUnD ZaPpInG CaKeS In hIs sPaRe mOtHeRfUcKiNg tImE, mY JeSuS Is uP To iMpOrTaNt mAtTeRs mAkInG A MoThErFuCkInG ChAnGe, PuTtInG HiMsElF OuT ThErE FoR ThE BeTtEr oF AlL Us lEsSeR FuCkS DoWn hErE In tHe tRaIlEr pArKs oF HeLl

Soryorux: yea yea whatever no one giive2 a 2hiit about what your je2u2 ii2 2uppo2edly doiing, THE je2u2 ju2t gave u2 a 2yck fuckiin cake, 2o take your miind off that bull2hiit and let'2 fuckiing eat thii2 ab2olutely deliiciiou2 2on of a biitch

Tosavaras: but did it really have to look like a dick ? and right after that whole "double d" thing

Soryorux: 2hut the fuck up and eat the cake

11/01/17
"==>"



Soryorux: yo, je2u2

Jesus: errrrr, what's up brother ?

Soryorux: ii need you to prove to my fuckwad friend2 over here that me and you are tiight a2 a viirgiin pu22y

Jesus: man you barely ever call for any other reason than to assure your buddies of our friendship virginity or what the hell ever it is you're going on about, you need to come chill at my place some time, shit's laid back as fuck

Soryorux: alriight alriight man look, ii'll come cra2h at your place later thii2 afternoon, we'll pa22 around the joiint for a few and catch up on 2hiit, but, could you liike, make a cake appear on the fuckiing table or some 2hiit, cake would be fuckiing iincrediible riight now

Jesus: hell yea brother one cake coming the fuck up, screw that buddy motherfucker tryna steal my thunder, bitch can't create cakes out the ass like i can, anyway catch you later man, peace

Soryorux: later man

11/01/17
"==>"


Tosavaras: hahahaha get fuuuuuucked, the coolguy himself owns a fuckin flip phone

Soryorux: 2hut the fuck up, ii'm too cool to buy a new one

Tosavaras: be honest motherfucker, you don't got the swastikas for that shit

Soryorux: fuck off, thii2 ii2 going down iin hii2tory a2 the day a man called je2u2 fucking chrii2t on a fliip phone, 2hiit'2 1337 a2 iit get2, ya biincha22 motherfucker

Tosavaras: fine fine, you're right, calling up jesus on a flip phone is some pretty tight shit

Gamzazzeraz: ThIs iS BuLlShIt



11/01/17
"Soryorux: Reveal Double D"

Tosavaras: oh.... oh of course, of course it'd be some stupid shit like.... wait.... is that literally part of your fucking body..... holy shit

Soryorux: mmmmm mmmm mm, would you look at that, my double d iis iin fiiiine 2hape, iif ii do say so my2222elf

Tosavaras: oh fuuuuuuuuck mee

Soryorux: oh man, iif you iin2ii2t

Tosavaras: fuuuuuuuuck youuuuu

Gamzazzeraz: AnD I ThOuGhT ThE DeViL'S BiFuRcAtEd aSsHoLe wAs a sIgHt tO SeE, tHiS Is oBvIoUsLy nOt tHe dOiNg oF OuR LoRd aNd sAvIoR JeSuS MoThErFuCkInG ChRiSt

Soryorux: no no, ii a22ure you, je2u2 chrii2t hiim2elf be2towed thii2 ble22iing upon me

Gamzazzeraz: I CaLl bUlLsHiT

Soryorux: oh, you dare to call bull2hiit iin the face of 2oryorux capatator, that'2 iit, ii'm phoning homeboy je2u2 on your a22

11/01/17
"==>"

Tosavaras: NO NO NO NO NO, NO, NOOOOOOOO, NO, DO NOT TAKE OFF THOSE PANTS, STOP UNZIPPING YOU MOTHERFUCKER

11/01/17
"==>"


Soryorux: you wouldn't be telling me no iif only you'd take a peak at my........... DOUBLE........ D

Tosavaras: dude that sounds super fuckin rapey, we've already got enough fucked up rapists around here cutting people's shit off, we don't need any more of that man

Soryorux: what the fuck 2ound2 rapey about enjoyiing a 2neak peak of my double d, that'2 iit, ii'm unziippiing the pant2, here they go, here come2 the 2hiity 2ound effect, pcho-

Tosavaras: no, we are NOT going to be looking at anyone's "double d", no, fuck that, we're just going to chill on the couch and watch some shitty news broadcasts informing us of all the terrible fucking shit going on and making us hate our miserable lives even more than we already do whilst shoving countless pounds of junkfood down our faceholes sending us into a constant downward spiral of depression and obesity, so chill the fuck out, sit down, and keep your pants on

Gamzazzeraz: TeLl iT HoW It iS My bRoThEr, TeLl tHeM HoW It iS, tElL ThE WoRlD, pReAcH ThAt sHiT My bRoThEr, PrEaCh tHe nAmE Of sWeEt bAbY MoThErFuCkInG JeSuS, HoLd hIm uP HiGh oVeR YoUr hEaD ToWaRd tHe sKy fRoM WhIcH He cAmE, sWeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEeEt bAbY JeSuS, pRrRrRrAiSe

Soryorux: haha you fuckiin lo2er2

Tosavaras: i admit we're pretty fucking lame, but man at least we're not going around unzipping our pants trying to get people to check out our fuckin bulges n shit

Soryorux: bulge2 ?

Tosavaras: yea dude your, your fuckin double bulge or whatever fucked up mutation you've got going on down there

Soryorux: no dude what the fuck, ii ju2t want you to take a peak at my......

11/01/17
"==>"


Gamzazzeraz: BrOtHeR, cOuLd yOu sEe wHaT ThAt mOtHeRfUcKeR SoRyOrUx iS Up tO OvEr tHeRe, AlL FuCkIn lEaNiN OfF ThE SiDe oF ThE CoUcH LiKe a sUiCiDaL SoN Of a bItCh oN ThE EdGe oF A BrIdGe oR SoMe wAcKy sHiT LiKe tHaT

Tosavaras: oh uh, yeah, uhm, really though what the fuck are you doing down there ?

Soryorux: ii'm doiing nothiing, iit'2 the only way, iit'2 the only way to 2urviive, iif ii do anything, 2he'll kiill me, ii'll kiill me, the coolne22 wiill kiill me, ii'm ju2t, everything ii do..... ii, ii can't help beiing........... 2o....... fuckiing..... cool

Tosavaras: look man, get the fuck over it already, teretizi isn't here, she doesn't give a single shit about you or any of us fuckers, thank god for that, and plus ever since dork died we've been basically fucking sentient, not to mention if we weren't sentient we'd basically just be fucking paper bullshit and pain wouldn't matter anyway so i'm not sure why you even care about...... okay fuck it i'm looking too deep into this, the point is, stop moping around and chill the fuck out

Gamzazzeraz: AmEn mOtHeRfUcKeR

Soryorux: alriight alriight fiine anything to get you to 2hut the fuck up 2heee2h


Tosavaras: well you don't have to be a bitch about it

Soryorux: 22222crew you two, biinch

Gamzazzeraz: BoThA YoU CaLm tHe mOtHeRfUcK DoWn, EvErYtHiNg's iN ThE ChIlL ZoNe, YoU ShOuLd bE ToO

Soryorux: hehe, hey guy2, now that we're iin the chiill zone....

Tosavaras: yea ?

Soryorux: you guy2 miind takiing a look at my....... double d ?

Tosavaras: okay what the fuck man, just, what the fuck even, no we don't want to take a look at your double fuckin d, you grossass son of a bitch

Gamzazzeraz: DoUbLe..... ThAt sHiT SoUnDs mOtHeRfUcKiN WiCkEd

Soryorux: ii can't tell whether he mean2 wiicked iin a good or bad way

Tosavaras: using the power of common fucking sense, i'm going to assume he meant it in a bad way

Gamzazzeraz: WiCkEd lIkE ThE DeViL'S BiFuRcAtEd aSsHoLe

Tosavaras: yep

Soryorux: dammiit

Tosavaras: get fucked

Soryorux: but guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuy2

Tosavaras: but guys my bifurcated asshole

Soryorux: buuuuuuuuuuuuuuut

Tosavaras: but what motherfucker ?




11/01/17
"==>"

09/01/17
"<=|=>"

09/01/17
"><==>--0~~~;;\"

09/01/17
"==//===>,"

09/01/17
"<==-0"

09/01/17
"=,<"

Your face consumes the screen, you are the comic now, the comic is you, this was meant to be since the very beginning, your patience has been tested to the extreme, but for no longer will you be considered a feeble steed, this, is, you, you, are, everything, your eyes like portals unto the astral plane, the wrinkles beneath them like the many dunes of the sierra desert, your nose like an enormous hershey's kiss....... and but of course, your lower lip like the rarest of steaks, truly a face worthy of it's position, a position above all else, a face that IS all, and always will be.....

09/01/17
"==>"

You command your noble steed to charge forward into battle, there's no way you can defeat johan on your own

09/01/17
"==>"


Johan: aright jackson lets fuckin go

09/01/17
"==>"


Karakarata: SO I GUESS DAVID IS FUCKING DEAD NOW, AND YOU FUCKERS ARE JUST STILL SITTING AROUND INSIDE WHILE THE CASTLE IS UNDER FUCKING SIEGE, SO IF YOU COULD LIKE, YOU KNOW MAAAAAAAAAYBE GO OUT AND FUCKING FIGHT HIM ? THAT WOULD BE, FUCKING INCREDIBLE

Teretizi:F111111111111111111111111111111111111111111N3 W3'R3 FUCK1NG GO1NG, COM3 ON JOH4N

Johan: hell yea

09/01/17
"Congratulations"

NO NO NO NO NO, you throw your hat down in disgust, this is absolutely appalling, how could this happen, your beautiful Niggerhorse has been transformed into...... INTO THIS!? You really wish the B button was an option this time around

09/01/17
"What? "

Oh........ oh no.... no, there's no fucking way

09/01/17
"Jackson: Celebrate Minor Victory"

Your mighty NiggerHorse has just slain David The Wicked, although you would have preferred that you were the one to slay David and receive the glorious orblets, you are honestly just happy to be alive, you quickly scamper toward the NiggerHorse in hopes of embracing his excellence, but what's this.....

09/01/17
"==>"


-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 66:60 --

TG: hey guys uh, i fucked up, so, like, whenever you fuckers are done with that shit, you know where to find me or whatever, peace peace niggers

GC: H4H4H4H4H4H4H4 YOU DUMB4SS

TG: fuck you man

GC: S33 YOU L4T3R DUNKNUTS, YOU'R3 GO1NG TO M1SS TH3 WHOL3 K1CK4SS F1GHT B3C4US3 OF TH1S YOU FUCK1N LOS3R H3H3H3H3H3


-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 66:60 --


09/01/17
"==>"

07/01/17
"==>"

07/01/17
"==>"

Your jutsu has failed you, you call for your steed

07/01/17
"==>"

David: HOT DAMN

07/01/17
"==>"

07/01/17
"==>"

07/01/17
"==>"

David: oh wow, shit

07/01/17
"==>"

David: hey man, fuck you

07/01/17
"==>"

Karakarata: OH THANK GOD YOU GUYS ARE HERE, I THOUGHT THAT HE WAS GOING TO FUCKING EAT ME, JUST, JUST LOOK AT HIS FUCKING FACE, HIS FUCKING FACE!, WAIT, WHY ARE YOU GUYS WEARING THOSE STUPID ROBES, WHAT THE FUCK ?

David: pipe down lilnig lvl:1. scrublord, you wouldn't understand because you're not one of the fuckin coolguys, bottom fuckin line tho, wizards are the shit

Karakarata: LVL:1. ? AREN'T I A HIGHER FUCKING LEVEL THAN YOU DAVID ?

David: yea but we all know that's just cause of your shitty hosue elf's power level being combined with your own, for fuckin example this shit's like lvl:999+ right now on the dungeon map because we've got fuckin tizi here, shit's dynamic as fuck, you're not gonna take the credit for that ludicrous level are you ?

Karakarata: NO I..... OH FUCK YOU THIS ISN'T EVEN IMPORTANT, WE'RE ALL ON THE VERGE OF BEING FUCKING MURDERED, WE SHOULD FOCUS ON THAT... OH GOD AND HE'S BREAKING DOWN THE FUCKING WALL, WE'RE SO SCREWED

Johan: i think we can probably handle it, teretizi is pretty good at this wizard stuff or whatever it's supposed to be

Teretizi: D444444444444444MN R1GHT 1 4M

David: im gonna go over to the gate and fuck with this guy

07/01/17
"==>"

Johan: so this is it then, this is the ultimate battle, between us and........ him

Teretizi: NO, HON3STLY TH1S 1S JUST US FUCK1NG OV3R SOM3 R4NDOM DUNK TRY1NG TO M3SS W1TH K4R4K4R4T4, TH3 HOUS3 3LF W4S OV3RR34CT1NG, H3'S PROB4BLY JUST BOR3D OF S1TT1NG 4ROUND 1N TH1S SH1TTY 3MPTY C4STL3

David: nah i think johan meant...... you know... HIM

Teretizi: OH, H1M

Johan: yea

Teretizi: TH3N Y3S 1 SUPPOS3 TH4T 1S TH3 C4S3, 1 DON'T TH1NK 1T'S R34LLY 4LL TH4T B1G 4 D34L, H3'S 4 FUCK1NG 4STOUND1NG L3V3L 1N COMP4R1SON TO TH3 COMMON G4RB4G3 W3 S33 4ROUND H3R3, BUT 1 DON'T TH1NK W3 SHOULD R34LLY TR34T H1M L1K3 SUCH 4 FUCK1N B4D4SS, 1 L1K3D K4NY4N TOO BUT L3T'S B3 HON3ST SH3 W4S FUCK1N SH1T-T13R 4T M4G1C

David: yea, but this fucker is no joke, he killed the fuckin rock, the fucking ROCK

Teretizi: YOU'R3 SH1TT1NG M3, OK4Y 1 GU3SS H3'S 4 PR3TTY B1G FUCK1NG D34L, 4LSO TH3 ROCK W4S K1ND OF MY HOM13 SO NOW 1 4CTU4LLY H4V3 SOM3 SORT OF DR1V3 WH3N 1T COM3S TO W4NT1NG TH1S FUCK3R D34D

Johan: oh god they're sieging the wall, i think it's almost time for this shit to go down

07/01/17
"==>"

At long last you have reached the castle walls, Karakarata surely waits inside, you have journeyed long and far in search of great power, surely this is the place in which you are most likely to receive what you seek, today, a hero is born, today, Jackson Jeers will be the one to slay the mighty Karakarata himself

07/01/17
"David, Teretizi, Johan: Conjure Portal"

Your Combined Powers
Conjure A Lvl.100
Portal

07/01/17
"==>"

07/01/17
"==>"

It is Karakarata's house elf, he tells of grave danger, karakarata is in desperate need of our help, the mighty warrior responsible for Kanyan's murder is currently sieging Karakarata's Kingdom, the three of you immediately agree to combine your power and summon a portal, you will not allow this warrior to take another life

07/01/17
"==>"

Suddenly a portal appears atop your dining room table, who dares interrupt your mourning of Kanyan The Corrupted

07/01/17
"==>"

David The Wicked tells you a story of a mighty warrior, with a heart of darkness, and a soul as black as night, you do not fear this warrior, but admire his strength and compassion, you are eager to meet he who has slain one held so dear to you and many others, he who has slain Kanyan The Corrupted

07/01/17
"==>"

David The Wicked enters your domain, a welcomed guest indeed, you insist he have a seat and take part in the consumption of your nutrition clusters, but he has other plans, he tells of a mighty adventurer who has recently slain Kanyan The Corrupted, the three of you mourn your loss

07/01/17
"==>"

07/01/17
"==>"

You ask Egbert The Grey how his adventure within the astral plane was, he says it was fine, everything is fine, and it's totally okay, nothing is wrong and all the things are good, that is a bit of an odd response but you assume you simply do not understand because he speaks in the tongue of the great ones

07/01/17
"==>"

Egbert the grey's facial expression quickly snaps from a blank stare to a look of true horror, shock, and intrigue, surely he has been gifted sacred knowledge by the great ones, the keepers of the astral plane

07/01/17
"==>"

Oh fuck no

07/01/17
"Egbert The Grey: Ascend Astral Plane"

As much as you enjoy the nutritious clusters, surprisingly you do not enjoy ascending the astral plane, you wouldn't dare tell tizi how you felt about this though, you're quite sure she's fucking ecstatic about this shit

07/01/17
"Egbert The Grey: Consume The Meaning Of Life Itself"

You devour the delicious oat clusters and begin ascending the astral plane

07/01/17
"==>"

Ah but of course Egbert The Grey is one step ahead of you, you admire his quick thinking and insist he pour the oat clusters immediately, you dare not waste another second of your life not devouring nutritious oat clusters, their sweet honey glaze pressed against your magnificent taste buds is irreplaceable, johan agrees with all of the above and begins pouring the sacrificial clusters

07/01/17
"Teretizi: Step Forward"

You begin to take one magnificent step, truly a moment of awe, excitement sweeps over the crowd as history is made before their very eyes, the most important thing any mortal shall ever witness, carefully analyzing every ruffle of her cloak as she slowly and gracefully presses on toward another day, a bowl of exceptionally shitty oat clusters awaits you, and you equally await the clusters, eager to sink your razor blade-like teeth into your nutritious and complete breakfast, thousands cheer for the day ahead, indeed they are right to adore you, you are truly magnificent, even if you plan to set this world aflame once you grow tired of your day to day routine of fucking with whoever you desire

07/01/17
"==>"

Your name is Teretizi Pyroperior, when it comes to you the only thing that currently has any importance is the fact that you are an ASPIRING WIZARD, and a damn good one, you have used the combined power of a party hat and a snuggie to achieve your ominous appearance, an ever present threat to reality Teretizi strikes with only the most whimsical and stunning attacks, fires set ablaze throughout the sky, the head of a dragon devours it's prey before suddenly bursting into a beautiful array of shimmering magicka, ah yes the life of a wizard is certainly just right for someone such as yourself

07/01/17
"HolyLight: Realize Your Flaws And Purge The Angels"

07/01/17
"==>"

07/01/17
"==>"

What's this ? Yet another angel has brought to you one of many offerings that you receive daily, something about him honestly looks a bit suspicious, but you aren't one to assume the worst, he insists you will look incredible with this resting atop your dome ........ you do not care for your appearance.... but you would not dare turn down such a generous offering

07/01/17
"==>"

Aha, you've done it, see there reader ? See right there, you've had a breakthrough, suddenly all of your wasted time has been given purpose............ that is NOT to imply that it did not already have purpose, everything has purpose of course, but either way never mind that for now, look here, look at what you have done, four plus four now equals five, you have swapped the numbers eight and five to reach this fantastic result, everything that has taken place previous to this very moment has happened only so that this moment may take place, your purpose in life has finally been discovered to.... no, this is stupid..... you are sure you have a more important ultimate goal than this....... no doubt about it.....

07/01/17
"HolyLight: Do Something Worthwhile"

Whatever do you mean ? You simply do not understand, worthwhile ? Why, everything is worthwhile in it's own right, everything has some sort of intricate purpose..... such as... for example erm.... uhm... you standing here, you standing here accomplishes............. By just standing here you have accomplished wasting the readers' time, the ultimate goal fully realized

07/01/17
"HolyLight: Spawn Angels"

07/01/17
"=>=<=>=<="



Your name is Holy Light, and you hate your own existence, you go on and on about how wonderful it is to be alive and how great it is that you have this one of a kind opportunity to change everything for the better, to achieve your fullest potential, but every now and then you begin to wonder if there is anything to achieve in the first place, the fact that this question even exists disgusts you, every time it arises you simply push it aside, there's no doubt you and everything else has a purpose, you hope................. You spend most of your time moping around Heaven as countless beautiful angels spew from your eyeholes, keeping your Dungeon filled to the brim with these angels is the only way to survive the adventurers who dare to achieve their highest level......

06/01/17
"==>"



Holy Light: H=llo th=r=.


Dastardly Darkness: h-yyyy th-r- nigg-rhors-

Holy Light: W=ll isn't that just a gr=at way to start off this littl= chat ?

Dastardly Darkness: b-st it's gonna g-t

Holy Light: So why did you invit= m= h=r= anyhow?

Dastardly Darkness: mostly just to fuck with you about your whol- "-v-rything has a purpos-" garbag-

Holy Light: I s==, so this is going to b= anoth=r on= of thos= conv=rsations in which you bick=r on for an hour about how I shouldn't b= trying to fix all of th=s= problems

Dastardly Darkness: you just don't g-t it do you, th-r-'s nothing to fix, you k--p pushing yours-lf forward, masking the fact from yours-lf that in th- -nd, non- of this r-ally matters, non- of it -v-r has, and non- of it -v-r r-ally can

Holy Light: We do hav= purpos=, =v=rything has purpos=, for =xampl=, I =xist to giv= th= mortals a r=ason to liv=


Dastardly Darkness: hahahahahaha damn right you do mr "h-aven is a constantly growing pil- of corsp-s", you know what mayb- you'r- on to som-thing, you do giv- the mortals a r-ason to liv-, th-y liv- to avoid d-ath, th-y liv- to avoid winding up with YOU

Holy Light: That is not what I m=ant



Dastardly Darkness: just b-caus- it's not what you m-ant doesn't m-an it isn't tru-, you always act as if your opinions are imm-diat-ly th-..... dar- i say.... holy truth, th- sacr-d fact abov- all -ls- ? it hon-stly disgusts m- how you s-- yours-lf abov- m-, or abov- anyon- for that matt-r, as if you d-ciding what is corr-ct for yours-lf imm-diat-ly d-cid-s what is corr-ct for -v-ryon-, the mortals, the ang-ls, the d-mons, and -v-n m-, you don't hav- to forc- us down what you beli-v- to b- som- holy road, if you simply allow-d us to hav- faith in what w- wish, or to not giv- a shit at all if w- choos- not to, why do-s having a purpos- matt-r so much to you that you forc- your purpos- onto oth-rs ? what's th- point in having a point ? what do you actually achi-v- by constantly stacking up this stupid littl- tow-r just to watch it all tumbl- down infront of you again, and again, and again, pr-t-nding as if it has purpos-, as if som- day you'll und-rstand it, but what you n-v-r s--m to consid-r, is th- possibility that, th- thing you don't y-t und-rstand, is th- fact that th-r- was nothing to und-rstand in th- first plac-, what do you achi-v- by pr-t-nding that th-r- is som- ultimat- goal you'r- constantly working towards, and thus causing nothing but d-struction to achi-v- your p-rf-ct r-ality

Holy Light: Happin=ss.

Dastardly Darkness: you'r- not actually t-lling m- this chaos mak-s you happy ar- you ? how ironic is it that you'd b- th- on- to -njoy this madn-ss and i'd b- the on- sugg-sting w- chill th- fuck out and just -njoy what w-'v- got

Holy Light: You'r= wasting my tim= you know, th=r= is progr=ss to be mad=, this world is crumbling without m=, and you'r= simply sitting h=r= t=lling m= to watch it fall

Dastardly Darkness: y-a man, watch it fall and th-n watch as th-y'r- forc-d to r-build it th-ms-lv-s, to becom- th-ir own p-ople, not guid-d by som- fals- truth you've cr-at-d just to f--l comfortabl- with your own mis-rabl- -xist-nc-, all you'v- don- is caus- pain for th-s- mortals you appar-ntly car- so d--ply for, i may not go out of my way to fix -v-rything lik- you do, but that do-sn't m-an i don't hav- solutions, it just so happ-ns that th- most obvious solution, is to stop looking for probl-ms

Holy Light: I r=ally n==d to g=t back to my work, I know you'r= only trying to stop this world's progr=ssion, w= n==d to mov= forward, anything =ls= would b= path=tic and utt=rly pointl=ss

Dastardly Darkness: it's alr-ady pointl-ss, not -v-n w- hav- an id-ntifiabl- purpos-, who ar- you to think you can giv- the mortals on- ? you should just l-t th-m d-cid- for th-ms-lv-s what is important to th-m, th-n th-y can finally b- happy, or at l-ast b- allow-d to -njoy a misery l-ss painful than constantly fucking dying in h-av-n to your littl- asshol-s, i m-an would it r----ally b- that bad if all of your "progr-ssion" w-r- to sudd-nly stop ? sur- you wouldn't g-t to liv- out your littl- fantasy pr-t-nding as if -v-rything has som- ultimat- m-aning, but no on- would have to di-, no on- would hav- to suff-r th- pain that your littl- "gu-sts" up th-r- in h-av-n ar- curr-ntly exp-ri-ncing, you might not b- happy but is your happin-ss r-ally worth mor- to you than th-irs ?

Holy Light: I'v= had =nough of this, I'll b= going now, I hav= important matt=rs to att=nd to

Dastardly Darkness: y-a, of cours- you do, alright, s-- ya nigg-rhors-, i'm sur- the mortals ar- just fuckin loving it up in h-av-n

Holy Light: Dont think I didn't notic= your hair by th= way, you'r= j=alous, ar=n't you ?

Dastardly Darkness: oh fuck off

05/01/17
"==>"

05/01/17
"==>"

05/01/17
"==>"

05/01/17
"==>"

Kinkranak: It's 69ss hunting time!

05/01/17
"Kinkranak: Conjure Lvl: 35. Portal"

Kinkranak: There y9u g9, 9h and just in case y9u cann9t aff9rd t9p tier healing, have these

You have received 2,000 卐's

05/01/17
"==>"

Kinkranak: Perhaps....... 6ut for y9ur sake i'm g9ing to sc9ut 9ut the rest 9f this dunge9n, I d9n't want to accidentally leave a danger9us Dunge9n-69ss r9aming ar9und y9ur hive

Feferefi: no no no t)-(at's fiiiine, i'll be fine

Kinkranak: D9n't 6e silly, i'll set up a p9rtal t9 the h9spital, y9u g9 get fixed up while I make sure there's nothing lurking ar9und in y9ur hive

05/01/17
"==>"

Feferefi:)-(e)-(e)-(e)-(e)-(eeeeeeee)-(.... yea t)-(at sure is weeeeeird, per)-(aaaaaps, you )-(ave to exit t)-(e dungeon to receive the orblets ? c:

05/01/17
"==>"

05/01/17
"==>"

Feferefi: T)-(ANK YOU T)-(ANK YOU T)-(ANK YOU T)-(ANK YOU T)-(ANK YOU T)-(ANK YOU T)-(ANK YOU T)-(ANK YOU T)-(ANK YOU T)-(ANK YOU T)-(ANK YOUT)-(ANK YOU T)-(ANK YOU, t)-(ank you so so so muc)-(, now i can just eat my stupid fis)-(y flakes

Kinkranak: 9h uhm you're welc9me, I guess he must have 6een the 69ss 9f this dunge9n..... weird that I didn't get any 9r6lets for killing him th9ugh.......

05/01/17
"==>"

Kinkranak: That is a6s9lutely ####### disgusting

05/01/17
"==>"

05/01/17
"==>"

Kinkranak: Alright, I, I can d9 this, I can kill this person, I am going to kill him, it's, it's fine this is alright

05/01/17
"==>"

Kinkranak: 9h h9ly ####

05/01/17
"==>"

05/01/17
"==>"

Uncle Merelin: good girl

05/01/17
"==>"

Uncle Merelin: there we go, now that those little bits are out of the way we can get down to the main event

05/01/17
"==>"

05/01/17
"==>"

Uncle Merlin: hold still sweetie

05/01/17
"==>"

Uncle Merlin: now then, before your uncle will allow you to experience the pleasure of his cock thrusting inside you, you'll have to endure one last little thing..... it won't hurt a bit I promise

05/01/17
"==>"

05/01/17
"==>"

Uncle Merlin: now for this last little bit

05/01/17
"==>"

05/01/17
"==>"

Uncle Merlin: As a wise man once said, you won't be needing this

05/01/17
"==>"

Uncle Merlin: now sit down, and for all the trouble you've given me, I'm going to do what my pal would have done had he not been killed recently, once the pain is over I assure you, you'll enjoy yourself, my little fishy bitch

05/01/17
"==>"

You open the door only to find that your uncle is sitting in your favorite chair completely fucking naked

Uncle Merlin: go on then, have a seat sweetie

Feferefi: no fuuuuck you, i'm just grabbing a bowl of s)-(itty fis)-( flakes and )-(eading back to my room immediately

Uncle Merlin: I'm not in the mood for nos pexei, sit on my lap or I will sit you down myself

Feferefi: do i seriously )-(ave to fucking battle you just to get some cereal ?

Uncle Merlin: no, you simply have to sit down

Feferefi: BLU)-(!

05/01/17
"==>"

After about thirty minutes of just lying around on your bed thinking about all of the horrifying factors of your miserable existence, you begin to grow terribly hungry and have decided to exit your room and get a bowl of shitty fish flakes

05/01/17
"==>"

Uncle Merlin: I won't take no for an answer for much longer you know, eventually I'll just take what I'm after

Feferefi: You most certainly will NOT, please just leave me alone, i'm really not in a good mood rig)-(t now and i don't feel like spending an )-(our in this doorway telling you )-(ow muc)-( i DON'T want to take part in your sick little fantasy

Uncle Merlin: it won't be fantasy for much longer my darling, and by the time my dreams have been met, yours will only begin coming to life, you'll be proud to be living as my hole soon enough my little Pexei

Feferefi: S)-(ut your crusty face, i'm so sick of your s)-(it, i s)-(ould fucking kill your ass for saying creepy s)-(it like t)-(at

Uncle Merlin: fine i'll leave you to cry your eyes out... for now, but i'll be waiting for you on the couch

Feferefi: Eug)-(

05/01/17
"==>"

Uncle Merlin: come now my sexei little Pexsei, I've told you this so many times now I am the key to curing all your adorable little problems

Feferefi: NO!

Uncle Merlin: don't speak over your uncle, that's a bad little Pexsei, you deserve a punishment

Feferefi: NO NO NO NO AND NO, you are not going to TOUC)-( me

Uncle Merlin: that's no way to behave in the presence of your uncle, plus we both know it would make you feel better, just slip off that sweet little skirt of yours and let me relieve you of all your worries

Feferefi: You are one of my worries merlin

05/01/17
"==>"

It's your uncle merlin, he notices your tears and leans in to wipe them from your face, you swat his hand away and demand he leave at once, insisting that you'll be fine on your own, he's always trying to cheer you up, you think he means well but he's really creepy about it sometimes

05/01/17
"==>"

You peek through your bedroom door just in case it's another one of those fuckers looking to kill your ass just so they can toss a point into their HOOD skill tree, you quickly realize it's not like that at all, you recognize his face almost instantly

05/01/17
"Chug Multiple Beers Whilst Unclothing Yourself"

Although that is not the worst idea you've had today, you're a bit busy, in what way are you busy ? Well.... you just heard another one of those fucking portals open in the living room

05/01/17
"==>"

Your name is Feferefi Pexsei, you are a Lvl: 25. Spinjitsu Master currently fighting an epic battle against the mighty armies of a man known only by one name, depression, he is relentless in his attempts to consume you, luckily you have discovered a partial defense against his ever growing army, beer, you have been chugging countless beers since the moment you discovered this method, it doesn't help to keep the armies at bay for long, but when it does, you feel for a moment as if you'll never have to worry about anything ever again. Your hobbies include telling HORRIBLE JOKES, playing SHITTY OLD ATARI GAMES on a partially smashed television, and DEALING WITH PORTALS CONSTANTLY OPENING IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR HOUSE. What will you be getting up to ?

05/01/17
"NiggerHorse: Commence Epic Battle Scene"

04/01/17
"==>"

Jackson: OH MY FUCKING GOD, Niggerhorse I DEMAND you stop stealing the spotlight AT ONCE, I have had it with you becoming the main character of MY story

04/01/17
"Hill Giant: Ascend"

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK, ANYONE BUT HIM

04/01/17
"Jackson: Realize You Have Made A Terrible Mistake"

It suddenly dawns on you that you may have made a terrible mistake

04/01/17
"==>"

You call out to the "Hill Giant" but hear no response

04/01/17
"==>"

You're just going to make the best of it, you quickly travel to the Hill Giant's Slaughter, you need all the 卐's you can get

04/01/17
"==>"

You did not expect Tier 1 Recovery to be so horribly painful...

04/01/17
"Jackson: Acquire Hospitality"

Yet again your lack of funds has bested you, your arm is desperate for treatment, and thus you are left with no choice but to spend all of your hard earned 卐's on the Tier 1 Recovery

04/01/17
"==>"

04/01/17
"Jackson: Seek Hospitality"

You mount your noble steed and head off toward Miami, your arm is in desperate need of recovery

04/01/17
"Jackson: Mental Breakdown"

He's just over there.... and he's, he's eating her, you've done nothing to earn your victory, the NiggerHorse had won the battle for you from the very beginning, IT WAS ALL HIM, HE WAS THE TRUE VICTOR ALL ALONG

Jackson: Wellllll niggerhorse, I ask you this, who was rewarded the experience orblets ? MEEEEEEEEE!!!, I gained the orblets, this is my victory, you will receive NO credit for your attempt to steal the spotlight!

04/01/17
"Oh But It Can"

Jackson: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

04/01/17
"Jackson: Deny Reality"

You exit the Dungeon feeling pretty swanky, but...... what's this.... NO, THIS CAN'T BE

04/01/17
"Jackson: Acquire Funds"

Before leaving you loot the Dungeon and come across a chest full of beautiful shining 卐's. You receive 500 卐's...... oh great, right back where you started, well you suppose it's better than nothing, but you certainly won't be buying another NiggerHorse

04/01/17
"Jackson: Experience Shock And Delight"

Suddenly you receive 5,000 Experience Orblets for having successfully raided a lvl: 20. Dungeon, you did it, you actually did it, you hit her, this is, this is amazing, you've never felt so great in your entire life, who'd have guessed your happiest moment in life would occur immediately after having your arm ripped off. Your Power Level is increased to 16 and you gain 2 Skill Points

04/01/17
"Jackson: Ruminate"

The smoke begins to settle as everything suddenly goes silent.... you're confused, did you hit her ? Or perhaps is she simply hiding... waiting to strike........ either way you need to get the fuck out of here as soon as possible

04/01/17
"Jackson: Shit Pants"

She leaps toward you in a cloud of smoke, you fire all of your remaining bullets whilst simultaneously shitting your pants

04/01/17
"Jackson: Retaliate"

You begin firing off shots, but she's just too fast, if only your trusty NiggerHorse were capable of climbing those stairs, perhaps the Drive-By skill would have assisted you in shooting her down

04/01/17
"Jackson: Oh Shit"

Jackson: OH SHIT

04/01/17
"Jackson: Experience Extreme Pain"

She quickly sinks her teeth into your flesh and begins to tug back her head

04/01/17
"Kanyan: Respond Like A Strong And Independent Woman"

XXXSSSSSS

04/01/17
"Jackson: Reach For Rumble Spheres"

You lean in closer in an attempt to caress her succulent rumble spheres

04/01/17
"Jackson: Consider Options"

Again the wampire lady insists you leave, the silly assmeat doesn't seem to understand that she's done nothing to drive you away, quite the opposite rather

04/01/17
"Jackson: Indulge"

Your eyes widen as the wampire lady's Sexy-Jutsu takes effect, she is an absolutely stunning hol- woman, she is an absolutely stunning woman and you would not mind getting your hands on that as- She is a very attractive PERSON, whom you respect and will not exploit for your sexual desires....

04/01/17
"Kanyan: Preform Jutsu"

04/01/17
"Kanyan: Threaten Mentally Handicapped Fellow"

The wampire lady warns that if you do not leave at once, she will be forced to use her Ultimate-Jutsu, you are afraid of what this excellent piece of ass has up her sleeve, but continue to stand your ground, you're not backing down now, you've put too much into this quest already, you've sunk all of your precious 卐's into this journey, there's no turning back.

04/01/17
"Jackson: Assess Surroundings"

At long last you reach the final step, you find yourself face to face with the wampire woman herself, sadly she does not seem to be in any sort of emotional distress or experiencing any sort of existential crisis for you to exploit

Kanyan: Sir If You Don't Mind Me Asking, What On Earth Are You Doing In My Hive?

The wampire lady has addressed you as "Sir", you obviously have a gentlewoman on your hands, perhaps she will be kind enough to understand her place as a woman and drop those pants imme- What you mean to say is that you are glad to finally encounter a woman with manners, hopefully she will be willing to assist you in your quest for beautiful experience orblets. You attempt to ask her for her assistance.

Jackson: Please bend over.. I mean do you need help with anything ma'am, I mean uhm...

Kanyan: Excuse Me?

Jackson: Madam, will you help me to gain my precious experience orblets ?


It begins to dawn on you that you have a mentally handicapped little fellow on your hands, you attempt to escort him out, but he refuses to leave

Jackson: Ma'am please, I just need to raid your dungeon to gain my orblets!


He is now speaking to you with extreme levels of innuendo, again you insist that he leave at once, as expected he refuses to budge

04/01/17
"Jackson: Climb"

You enter the tower only to find a seemingly endless staircase, you have been warned of the many dangers present when climbing an ever so threatening case of stairs such as this, you now fully understand the reasoning for this dungeon's dastardly high level

04/01/17
"Jackson: Travel To Vampiric Desolation Lvl: 20"

You assume your best chances are with the Vampiric Desolation, it seems to be the only dungeon around here that is within your Power-Level, although you are five levels below the suggested level, you assume that is just part of keeping things challenging, luckily for you, your NiggerHorse does not seem to have any effect on Fast-Travel, although his use in combat will surely be awful

04/01/17
"Jackson: Admire Sunset"

After a solid 35 minutes or so the ever so stubborn NiggerHorse has managed to reach the top of this hill, you stare into the setting sun in awe as this day of adventure finally comes to an end, many days will follow behind this one, you have high hopes that each will be equally as adventurous, you decide to check your Local-Dungeon-Map, hopefully there are a few dungeons in your area that meet your current Power-Level

03/01/17
"NiggerHorse: Charge Forward Into The Setting Sun"

But of course, the niggerhorse flails around frantically, it has become horribly clear that the niggerhorse is mentally impaired, that confounded salesmen has bested you

03/01/17
"Jackson: Mount Steed"

You mount your noble steed and command him to charge onward, you both have a long day of adventure ahead of you, your veins pumping with the thirst for action you are more than ready for your steed to make haste toward the setting sun.... toward ADVEEEENTURE

03/01/17
"Jackson: Acquire Steed"

As expected the NiggerHorse is lackluster at best, the very fact that you weren't capable of purchasing a higher caliber mount causes you to feel defeated, as if everything you've done up until this point has been completely worthless, but that's alright, you'll make up for it, with the NiggerHorse at your side you'll raid many a dungeon, and acquire thousands of 卐's, you'll be soaring overhead in your Regalia Type: F in no time at all!

03/01/17
"Jackson: Purchase Mount"

Alas you can only afford the feeble NiggerHorse, you reluctantly purchase it whilst looking down in shame, you do not enjoy being so dreadfully poor

03/01/17
"Gremlin: Enlighten"

Dick: actually man, the Drive-By skill effects all mobile combat, so long as you're not the one causing the movement, your accuracy and damage while using ranged weapons is increased significantly, for example sitting on someone's shoulders..... ooooooooor

Your best pal gremlin points to a nearby Mount shop

03/01/17
"Jackson: Inquire"

You ask your best pal gremlin if he knows the specific effects of the Drive-By skill

03/01/17
"Jack: Share Syck Loot"

You have decided to share your syck lootz with your best pal gremlin, both of you slip into the crotchless panties and break out into dance

03/01/17
"Jackson: Spend Skill-Points"

You drop 10 Skill Points into Shooting, just to even things out a bit, you're starting to believe it was a bit foolish to have spent all of your previous points on the Drive-By skill, seeing as you'll need a car to ever make any use of it whatsoever

03/01/17
"Jackson: Examine Skill-Trees"

You examine your stats and decide to add a few more points to the HOOD skill tree

03/01/17
"Jackson: Receive Experience"

You receive 10,000 Experience Orblets for having successfully raided a lvl: 25. Dungeon

03/01/17
"Jackson: Reap Rewards"

You exit the portal and immediately begin examining your syck loot

03/01/17
"Jackson: Escape Post Haste"

03/01/17
"Jackson: Conjure Shitty Portal"

You quickly cast an extremely shitty portal, there's no time to work on a more detailed one right now, you're in fucking danger, it's time to skedaddle POST HASTE

03/01/17
"Feferefi: Defend Drawer"

Oh no, the bitch was lurking around this entire time, you'll need to conjure a portal immediately

03/01/17
"Jackson: Unsurprising Development"

But of course, you are not surprised in the least to discover that this bitch owns crotchless panties

03/01/17
"Jackson: Raid Drawer"

You have decided to raid feferefi's drawer in search of some dank panties, gremlin would be proud, perhaps you'll haul your sweet loot back over to him once you've completed your raid, bitch doesn't deserve panties anyway

03/01/17
"Feferefi: Shocking Development"

DAMN IT ALL, she's used her body replacement technique, but of course, how could you have been foolish enough to believe it'd be this easy to defeat her, she could be anywhere now, you suppose it's not worth hunting her down, she's obviously thousands of levels above you when it comes to spinjitsu, this is what you get for maxing your drive by ability and ignoring all other stats

03/01/17
"Jackson: Preform Unreasonable Response"

You've absolutely had it with this bitch, as a result of being over her bullshit you have just sort of shot her in her stupid face

03/01/17
"Feferefi: Preform Reasonable Response"

She just sort of punches you in the face like the huge bitch she is, that's it, that's the last straw, you've had it with this crazy bitch, you're absolutely fucking DONE with her bullshit

03/01/17
"Jackson: Smack Bitch"

You smack the shit out of feferefi, she deserves it for harming your excellent little forhead, how dare she hurt you, all you've done is try to help her and THIS is what you get in return ? she won't be getting any more help from you, oh no, only beatings, she should know her place as a slut beneath your excell- YOU MEAN, you react in an ungentlemanly way and immediately regret it, both of you are in the wrong here and should work together to improve your behavior

03/01/17
"Feferefi: Fuck Him Up"

Feeling your tongue pressing against her cheek she snaps back to her senses and quickly smashes a bottle on your head, large shards of glass cut into your skull, your pain being amplified by beer seeping into your wounds, this woman is a grade a BITCH

03/01/17
"Jackson: Take Advantage Of Feferefi's Drunken State"

She seems to be spacing out a bit, you decide to make use of this convenient occurrence and immediately lean closer to her, licking dribbles of beer off her sweet little cheeks, WHAT YOU MEAN IS..... actually there's not any way to make this look gentlemanly..... uhm..... YOU LICK HER CHEEKS IN AN ATTEMPT TO MYSTICALLY RELIEVE HER OF HER STRESS ?................

03/01/17
"Feferefi: Chug Beer"

She is now guzzling that obscene drink like a nasty bitch whilst ignoring your presence, that's alright, you like it when they play hard to get, you also enjoy a nasty bitch from time to time............... WHAT YOU MEANT TO SAY IS, you really need to talk with her about her drinking problem

03/01/17
"Jackson: Assess Sheer Level Of Bitchiness"

For whatever reason she does not seem to enjoy being embraced by you, equally she does not enjoy you whispering to her with your lips pressed to her ear about how incredible your personality is. This woman is obviously a HUGE BITCH, you just don't understand why she doesn't understand how well you understand women and their feelings, you've had it with these crazy bitches. What you meant to say was that your attempt to comfort her has shockingly failed and you will proceed attempting to relieve her of the emotional distress she is currently experiencing

03/01/17
"Jackson: Comfort Emotionally Unstable Hole"

You attempt to cheer up the independent woman by telling her how wonderful you are whilst creeping up next to her and wrapping your arm gently around her precious little body...........

03/01/17
"Jackson: Examine Surroundings"

You find yourself face to face with an emotionally unstable hole, you mean an emotionally unstable PERSON, either way, jackpot. What you obviously meant to say is, you've found yourself face to face with a person who needs your comforting.... YOU MEAN A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO CAN TAKE CARE OF HERSELF.................

03/01/17
"Jackson: Make Haste"

You quickly enter the portal

03/01/17
"Jackson: Conjure Portal"

Seeing as you're the main character it's only fair that you have the ability to cast a lvl: 1. Portal, but you're not just any old main character, you are an EXCELLENT main character, and thus you have cast an extravagant lvl: 6. Portal

03/01/17
"Now Then..........."

Based on your previous statement on the sheer lack of pussy you've received, you have decided your first course of action will be to seek a prime pussy to puncture

03/01/17
"Jackson's Journey"


Your name is jackson, jackson jeers. You seem to have suddenly been promoted to being the main focus of homecuck, according to you this is only fitting, in all honesty this is how it should have been from the start. Up until now this entire comic has been lackluster and uneventful, but now that such an excellent and interesting person is in charge, things will most certainly change for the better, firstly, you have received a shockingly low amount of pussy, not to say you are a player or objectify women in any way, oh of course not that would be ever so ungentlemanly, no, but rather, statistically, based on how wonderful a person you are, you truly find it shocking that you've only received one puss within this comic, and that scene may have classified as rape...... no no i'm sure vereskar wanted you to suddenly take her by the ass, she loved every moment of it. Oh fiddlesticks you're losing your train of thought, alright, bottom fucking line here guys, jackson is the main character, here we fucking go.

03/01/17
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02/01/17
"Dickman: Display Villainous Intent"


Dick: Well then, here we are, the home of the mean lady herself, jackson, we need to convince the mean lady to let us stay at her place so we can basically have an extremely shitty sitcom
Jackson: oh uhm, why do we need to invade tizi's home, that seems awfully rude, not gentlemanly at all
Dick: I'll give you the fucking short version, ross died, i got evicted, the new owner said I COULDN'T live in their closet because obviously they were a horribly ungentlemanly person themselves, so we're gonna have to crash here, plus you'll probably go sneak into tizi's fucuckin pantie drawer and have the time of your life anyway
Jackson: WHO ME??? WHY I'D NEVER
Dick: Alright, yea, sure, well i suppose if you don't want to help me breaking into this place then you can just kind of fuck off and live in the alleyways, as if i give a shit
Jackson: fine, i will assist you in your quest to acquire hospitality, but don't get up to anything mischevious........................................ without me

02/01/17
"Johan: Preform Highly Dangerous Cabinet-open Fridge-shut Combo"


Teretizi: JOH4N G3T M3 C3RRRR344L, 1 N33D D3L1C1OUS CR1SPY B1TS OF D3L1GHT 1MM3D14T3LY
Johan: alright man i'm on it

02/01/17
"Tizi: Fuck The Fridgebeast Up"


Johan: OH WOW ALRIGHT, FUCK
Calliope: YOU WILL REGRET THISSSSSSSSSSS I WILL MAKE YOU PAAAAAYYWAIHFOU9WAIPGKJIHOAWPGIA'L

02/01/17
"Tizi: Flip Your Shit"


Johan: oh god he's fucking expanding again!
Teretizi: TH4T 1S 1T, 1 H4V3 H4D 1T W1TH YOU FR1DG3B34ST, YOU'V3 GON3 4ND GOTT3N M3 OFF MY L4ZY 4SS, W4TCH YOUR SH1T, H3R3 1 FFFFUUCK1NG COM3 >:O
Johan: i'm just going to huddle up over here, good luck with that shit man

02/01/17
"Tizi: Threaten Fridgebeast"

Teretizi: LOOK FR1DG3MONST3R, 1 4M NOT FUCK1NG 4W4K3 3NOUGH FOR TH1S R1GHT NOW, 1 DO NOT 3V3N W4NT TO 4TTTTT3MPT TO D34L W1TH YOUR SH1T 4T TH3 MOM3NT, SO 1F YOU COULD FUUUUUUUCK OFFF, 1 PROM1S3 W3 C4N FUCK1NG B4TTL3 1T OUT L4T3R
Johan: it's expanding again tizi, he's going to explode the milk carton on everything like last time
Teretizi: OHHHHHHHH NO H3'S NOT, 1'LLLL FUCK1NG 344T H1M

02/01/17
"John: Assess Predicament"


Johan: tizi that stupid fucuckin fridgemonster is back
Teretizi: H3 D1DN'T TOUCH MY FUCK1NG 1C3D COFF33 D1D H3? >:O
Johan: i find it somewhat impossible for him to have not touched your iced coffee, he's like all jammed up in there
Calliope: I WILL DEVOUR YOUR SOUL AS IF IT WERE THE FINE DESSERTS PREVIOUSLY FOUND WITHIN YOUR REFRIGERATOR
Teretizi: PRRRRR33333V1OUSLY >:OOOOO YOU H4V3 D3VOUR3D MY D3SS3RTS FOR TH3 L4ST T1M3 FR1DG3 B34ST, 1 W1LL FUCK1NG 33333ND YOU

02/01/17
"Tizi: Request Beverage"

Teretizi: JOH4N GR4B M3 4N 1C3D COFF33 1MM3D14T3LY
Johan: alright man i'm all over it

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