AlterniaFM


26/02/17
"==>"

There.

That did it.

All that was needed was feminine touch.

25/02/17
"Desdemona: Stay Strong for your man"

Ophelia is trying to calm her down but it'll take some time before Desdemona gets over her hysteria.

Hamlet:
Frailty, thy name is woman! Am I right?


Ophelia:
Quiet you!

25/02/17
"Polonius: Talk to the dark spectre"

The Agent is generally uninterested in Polonius. He shrugs all attempts at communication away. And that thing behind him... Just unsettles Polonuis. Speaking to the Agent seems to be fruitless.

20/02/17
"==>"

He stands in the throne room with the King. The Agent is also here.

It's oddly dark. Almost as if somebody was trying to create a certain atmosphere.

20/02/17
"Polonius: Ask the new woman for a potential date"

Polonius can't do that because Polonius is busy taking orders from his boss, King Claudius. Something about dealing with potential assassins.

19/02/17
"==>"

Desdemona:
UAAAAAAAAA!

19/02/17
"==>"

Desdemona:
And then I remember falling. And now I'm here in... Did you say Denmark? And I don't know where Othello is or what his fate has become. I don't know how I'm supposed to get back home.


Hamlet:
It's okay. Calm down.

19/02/17
"==>"

Hamlet:
Calm down. Listen. You've been displaced. Something has spirited you here. You are in the castle of Elsinore in Denmark. I don't know what you are talking about with all this lute beam talk but you have me confused with somebody else. I am Prince Hamlet of Denmark and with me is my lady love Ophelia and my best friend Horatio. Please won't you slow down and tell us what's wrong?


Desdemona:
I was with my husband when all of a sudden we were beset by some strange people. Two of them were trying to pick a fight with my husband while one of them was speaking very strangely. Then everything escalated and you-or at least, someone that looked like you-started swinging his sword really violently and making a scene. I tried asking the clown with them what was going on but he shot a lute beam at me.


Hamlet:
I still don't know what that is.

19/02/17
"==>"

Desdemona:
You're the guy that was brandishing a sword at my husband and arguing with some strange clown that shot a lute beam at me.


Hamlet:
I think you have me confused with someone else. Also... What?


Desdemona:
No. I am not. You had this sword and a cape but you're wearing the same outfit and you look just like him.

19/02/17
"==>"

Desdemona:
YOU! You are that guy that was going crazy! How did you get here? Where am I? What's the deal with that clown guy?


Hamlet:
Wait. What? Calm down. You were dropped here from a portal. What are you talking about?

17/02/17
"==>"

Ophelia's daydreams appear to be interrupted be a frazzled stranger.

Desdemona:
What happened? Where am I?

I was just with Othello. Where is he? What was the deal with that clown?

What is happening???

12/02/17
"==>"

Ophelia:
This here, is Magic-Bean Chan. She is a part of a series of plush dolls from the Kool Katch collection, of which I have four. They are:

Super-Bunny-Blue, the pet rabbit of Princess Starlight

Destiny-Croak, the Avatar of Chaos Rewards

Sigmund, the Pink Snake of Fury

Blue Nicolas, Ruler of Four-hundred and Thirteen Worlds

Those are the ones I have and I've been nagging Hamlet to get me Magic-Bean Chan ever since she came out a week ago. He told me he'd get it but it's been a week now. He's like this all too often; saying he'd do a thing and then put it off until the situation is right in his face. I swear, if he spent less time on his soliloquies and more time on getting Magic-Bean Chan, I'd have her by now. He can be so melodramatic at times. Makes me want to throw myself in a pond.

12/02/17
"Ophelia: Rant like the crazy woman you are "

11/02/17
"==>"

Hamlet:
Are you okay?

09/02/17
"==>"

A girl this time.
I guess we should see if she is all right.

05/02/17
"==>"

Oh my gosh. Is there no end to things being dropped from mysterious places?

05/02/17
">Hamlet:Eat Spaghetti"

The pasta is wonderful. It would have been nice if it came with a fork. Or if Hamlet just took a minute to go inside his castle where he would certainly find one. Either way it is excellent.

30/01/17
"==>"

Horatio takes the other item to see what it is.

Horatio obtains the BLACKANDGOLD INGOT.

This thing is just FILLED with magic.

30/01/17
">Check out the contents of the chest"

Is that...

...A plate of spaghetti? What's this doing in a mysterious chest?

29/01/17
"==>"

If you have received this chest,
that is because you have succeeded
in defeating the horrible monster
from out of space and time.
Congratulations,
they can be terribly troublesome.
Consider this my gift to you.
- Chorus

29/01/17
"==>"

28/01/17
"==>"

Oh. It seems that we are not quite done with things spontaneously materialising in the castle courtyard.

25/01/17
"==>"

And now we return to the present moment.

25/01/17
"==>"

Finally the beast would be destroyed. And it was none other than Hamlet to make the killing blow. That's right. Hamlet. Not Horatio. Pay no attention to that panel.

25/01/17
"==>"

Though Rosencrantz and Guildenstern were removed from the fight, the intervention was enough for the others to fight on.

22/01/17
"==>"

22/01/17
"==>"

21/01/17
"==>"

The critical skull dunk seemed to do much more than either of the two.

21/01/17
"==>"

As ineffectual as it seemed, it was bolstered by a surprise attack from Hamlet Sr, striking with the skull of Yorick.

20/01/17
"==>"

I'm not entirely sure they did anything but the help was appreciated.

20/01/17
"==>"

Though it seemed that Horatio would be killed by the horrible beast, help would come in the form of Good Friends Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.

19/01/17
"==>"

Horatio tried to get his magicks working but the beast attacked before he could cast.

18/01/17
"==>"

Following suit, Ophelia blasts the monster with her LASSBLASTER.

Though not a huge blade slash, it does the damage it needs.

18/01/17
"==>"

Hamlet preemptively sent his sword towards the beast, slashing it across the... Is that even a face? I don't really know for sure. What matters is the monster was bleeding.

The MINI BUSTER in turn sends Hamlet on his own journey mid fight through the sheer weight of it.

16/01/17
"==>"

That might have escalated things.

16/01/17
"==>"

In an attempt at what Hamlet would later call diplomacy, he begins to point and shout things like, "WHAT IS THAT? WHAT. IS. THAT. WHAT IS THAT!!!???"

15/01/17
"==>"

But not a moment after they armed themselves, a great demon emerges from the same BLACK MAGICKS. Horatio should have known better than to tamper in matters that go beyond mankind.

15/01/17
"==>"

The trio are fully armed.

15/01/17
"==>"

And finally...

BLACK MAGICKS that magickified the WAND OF ZERSTERGOTHE.

Hamlet and Ophelia laugh at the stupid magic stick and its stupid magic name. Horatio says nothing about the the MAGICK he feels running through this instrument.

15/01/17
"==>"

BLACK MAGICKS that gave Ophelia the LASSBLASTER OF DANELADIES.

Horatio explains how guns work to Hamlet while Ophelia figures it out all on her own.

13/01/17
"==>"

BLACK MAGICKS that cast the MINI BUSTER into this world.

Horatio and Ophelia think the sword is dumb but Hamlet loves it to bits.

13/01/17
"==>"

BLACK MAGICKS called from the farthest reaches of OUTER REALITY. To aid Hamlet on his quest of regicide.

Remember the task Hamlet had? That never stopped being a thing. He still has to kill Claudius.

12/01/17
"==>"

... And taking part in Horatio's BLACK MAGICKS [also still in the Royal Gardens].

12/01/17
"==>"

... Finding Ophelia [and Horatio] in the Royal Gardens...

12/01/17
"==>"

Antics and shenanigans including the search for Ophelia in the Royal Gardens...

11/01/17
"Othello: Be Hamlet "

The focus moves to Hamlet.

He is sitting in the Royal Gardens with his girlfriend Ophelia, and his best friend Horatio. R-Dog and G-Stern should be around here somewhere as well. They have just been through a series of WACKY and ZANY antics. Right now they are taking a break from all the courtyard shenanigans they have been up to.

So many shenanigans. So many antics.

10/01/17
"==>"

06/01/17
"==>"

???:
It will serve you well.

06/01/17
"==>"

???:
Here. Take this.

05/01/17
"==>"

It appears that it was a man. And somehow they managed to move freely through this place.

???:
Hello Othello. Please forgive me if I do not have time to explain who I am and what is going on here.

I have to give you something and it is important that you take it. It will be very useful to you.

05/01/17
"Othello: Walk towards that "something" "

The second Othello tries to move towards that figure, he discovers that he is unable to find solid ground to walk on. If Othello wants to get a closer look, the thing will have to come to him.

04/01/17
"==>"

04/01/17
"==>"

Oh? What is this? Something emerges from a time and place unknown.

04/01/17
"Yorick: Be Othello"

The focus turns to Othello as he falls through the dimensions between time.

This is the last thing Othello needed. He has a job in Cyprus to take care of. A military issue that is totally not to get caught up in a debacle involving suspicion and miscommunication resulting in the deaths of you and your love.

03/01/17
"==>"

03/01/17
"==>"

Yorick:
Now I must EXEUNT. Goodbye agent. We will meet again.

03/01/17
"==>"

Yorick:
...and that is my cue. I knew that agent wouldn't give me the TIME to catch my breath.

03/01/17
"==>"

Yorick:
I hope I didn't miss anythin'. It won't be long at all until...

01/01/17
"==>"

Yorick:
There. I hope you're happy now, Hamlet.

Your tantrum has now gotten you what you wanted. I hope you like what you get because I doubt I got the time routes correctly adjusted.

01/01/17
"==>"

Yorick:
Whoops! Didn't mean to get those two.

31/12/16
"==>"

Yorick:
You there! Moor!

Think fast!

30/12/16
"Othello: Go into rage mode"

[Do you honestly think that is a viable option? One wrong move and the Moor is goin' to get cut by Hamlet's angry slashin']

30/12/16
"==>"

Othello:
[This kid's got problems.]

[Who let this kid have a sword?]

30/12/16
"Hamlet: calm down and assess the situation before doing anything rash"

Yeah... There was no way that was going to happen.

29/12/16
"==>"

Yorick:
Please forgive me.

29/12/16
"Desdemona: Question the clown's intentions for you and your husband"

Desdemona:
What is the meaning of this? Who are you? Who is that person with the sword? What is he talking about? What do you want with my husband?


Yorick:
I'm afraid I can't quite give a detailed explanation. And now things have been compromised.

I guess I have no choice now...

27/12/16
"==>"

Yorick:
As much as I'd love to explain things, we have not the time, and it seems that Prince Hamlet wishes to make things harder for me than they already are.


[Desdemona]:
[Are you okay? Let me help you up.]


[Macbeth]:
[Thank you very much. I should be alright as long as I don't do anything too exerting.]

27/12/16
"==>"

Hamlet:
That clown over there was looking for you and I'm not going to let him take you.

Instead I'm going to make you my hostage.


Yorick:
Oh dear. This just gets more and more complicated by the second doesn't it?


Hamlet:
QUIET, YOU!


Othello:
Okay. Let's calm down now. Can somebody explain to me what is going on here?

27/12/16
"Othello: Offer to bring these people to a hospital."

Othello:
Uhhh... Should I take you to a hospital? This might be serious. You may have a concussion.


Hamlet:
You aren't taking anybody anywhere.

It is you who will be taken places.


Othello:
What?

23/12/16
"Macbeth: Fall over"

It seems like that hit [as well as all preceding hits] have taken a toll on Macbeth.

23/12/16
"Macbeth: challenge the hooligan that slammed your face to a duel"

Macbeth recovers from his violent encounter with a MALICIOUS ITALIAN PINE, longing for vengeance against mankind who made it into this rectangular form.

Macbeth:
You just slammed that door in my face. Why don't you be more careful about your placement of hinge-swinging woods?


Othello:
Oh. Sorry about that. But why were you standing in its path like that? That's just an accident waiting to happen.


Macbeth:
You what? You want to go? I'll fight you.

23/12/16
"Othello: Make your entrance even more dramatic"

Othello:
Hark, My beloved Desdemona. Your father really knows how to put somebody to trial. To claim that I could not win your heart. To bring me to the Duke, accusing me of witchcraft. What a load of crap.


Desdemona:
Yes, but it all worked out for the better.


Othello:
True. Though now I must go to Cyprus to its defence. And it seems like you must be brought with me. Oh well. Duty calls. I think we've had the worst of it.


Macbeth:
Hey!!!

22/12/16
"==>"

Suddenly somebody emerges from the room, slamming Macbeth in the face.

22/12/16
"==>"

Hamlet:
I could dance like that if I wanted to. I just don't want to.

-
Hamlet is totally unfazed by Yorick's silliness.

Not even close. I swear.

Nobody is fazed. Not one person.

20/12/16
"==>"

Yorick:
We may not have time to take you to an appropriate timeline but we have just a couple of seconds to relax and cut a jig.

20/12/16
"Yorick: Do a hella sick dance to prove that you are way better than this clown"

Yorick:
Now now Hamlet. Lighten up a little. Enjoy these few seconds we have before the Moor emerges from his meetin'.

After all. Who is the clown here? You or I? Because by the looks of it you are the one puttin' on this silly act.

18/12/16
"==>"

Yorick:
That's right. Cool off that hot head of yours.


Hamlet:
Are you serious, Yorick?


Yorick:
I am always serious.

And I am never serious.

18/12/16
"Yorick: continue negotiations"

Yorick:
I think that the best thing to do right now is to chill out.

18/12/16
"==>"

Hamlet:
...However, I do know how to use it for its original purpose.


Yorick:
Hamlet. I understand that you are very distressed. But this is all unnecessary. You are causing a scene and that isn't going to accomplish anything.

Just sit back down and let's do what needs to be done.

18/12/16
"==>"

Hamlet:
I still haven't figured out how the time circuits work on this thing. I can only get it to jump all over the place...

17/12/16
"==>"

Hamlet:
IF WE REALLY DON'T HAVE TIME LIKE YOU SAY, THEN TAKING ME TO OPHELIA SHOULD BE PRIORITY ONE!


Yorick:
Hamlet, please. If you really have to, then just use your time sword.

16/12/16
"==>"

Hamlet:
YOU ARE THE ONE WHO DRAGGED ME THROUGH TIME AND SPACE, CLOWN!

YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU WOULD TAKE ME TO OPHELIA! ONE THAT IS ALIVE!

YET YOU STALL ME WITH THIS NONSENSE!

YOU HAVE TIME POWERS AND YOU KNOW HOW TO USE THEM! DON'T TRY AND TELL ME THAT YOU ARE ON THE CLOCK!

14/12/16
"==>"

Yorick:
Have you decided to end this temporal tantrum of yours?

I can really use your assistance, my prince.


Hamlet:
Stop calling me 'prince'.

I'm not here to help you, Yorick. Not until I get what I was promised.


Yorick:
Come now, Hamlet. We don't have the time for that. I will take you where you want.

Patience.

14/12/16
"==>"

Hamlet:
Hello Yorick. Fancy seeing you here and now.


Yorick:
You knew I'd be coming here. What are you playing at?

13/12/16
"==>"

Yorick:
It is Prince Hamlet, whom I have been separated from since pulling you from your time.

13/12/16
"==>"

Yorick:
Oh my! Boyo! Look!

To the other side of the room!

13/12/16
"==>"

Macbeth snaps out of his trance for a second to notice that Yorick has taken a seat.

12/12/16
"==>"

...So captivating. Macbeth is totally engrossed in this painting.

Yeouch!

Oh! Hi. Wait a minute. Who are you? I’ll tell you a secret. Sometimes I get a little… quiet, when I meet lots of new kids.

You know what? I think we’re going to be friends. Special Friends And when I’m with friends, I’d like to have fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun. I like to sing, dance, pretend and Kaaazoooo.

Kaaazoooo, just Kaaazoooo it.

12/12/16
"==>"

There is something very odd about this painting. It is very hard to make out what is going on in this scene. The child's expression is strange; what prompted this painting to become a reality?

Something doesn't feel right about it at all. And yet...

12/12/16
"==>"

Deciding to go left, Macbeth and Yorick examine the left side of the room. A painting catches Macbeth's eye...

12/12/16
"==>"

Yorick:
Good day, fair receptionist. I am looking for a man. A Moor of high esteem. I was informed that he would be here at this time. Is that true?


Receptionist:
Yes. That is true. He is currently occupied by the good Duke. Please take a seat, either to the left or right.

11/12/16
"==>"

Yorick:
There it is. The council hall of Venice. There is someone we need to meet there.

11/12/16
"==>"

11/12/16
"==>"

Yorick:
Now come, boyo. We can't be standing around here all day. I brought us here for a reason and it would be wise to make haste.

07/12/16
"Macbeth: Ask Yorick for some convenient exposition on how exactly the world is dying"

Yorick tries his best to explain what his knowledge of time-travel has brought him but Macbeth is just too hung up on the idea of kissing that idiot clown.

07/12/16
"Macbeth: Smooch Yorick on those lips that Hamlet has kissed you know not how oft."

No way. Macbeth would never do that. He is happily married for one. Also he's not a homosexual. Macbeth rejects the idea of making out with this clown. No matter how gay he looks.

07/12/16
"==>"

Yorick:
The world is dyin' boyo. And I think your actions might have somethin' to do with it.

07/12/16
"==>"

???:
~Now Yorick is here~
~To deliver my cheer~
~And explain to you how you're involved~

07/12/16
"==>"

???:
~Through time and space~
~Against it I raced~
~But I didn't escape it unharmed~

07/12/16
"==>"

???:
~The timeline revealed a terrible horror~
~That ruined the lands that I roam~
~In haste it laid waste, for me it made chase~
~As I sent myself back home~

04/12/16
"==>"

???:
~I come from the land that was granted the Danelaw~
~And from that homeland I received~
~The favours that favoured the royals~
~When royalty was not for me~

~I sang at the house of King Hamlet~
~My wit and my jokes were bar none~
~I happened upon a fine treasure~
~That showed me the world was near done~

04/12/16
"==>"

Macbeth: Uhhh. What happened?

???: It's alright boyo. I'll explain everythin' to you.
???: I'll even do it through song.


Macbeth: Please don't. Not now.

04/12/16
"==>"

???: There. There. That's good. You really took a fall didn't you. Sorry again. Look. Just calm down. Recover from that blast I gave you and I'll explain why I've pulled you here.

04/12/16
"==>"

???: Believe me. If you weren't so cavalier about fightin' my time portal I wouldn't have had to blast you.

04/12/16
"==>"

???: Sorry about ruffin' you up boyo...

04/12/16
"==>"

04/12/16
"==>"

04/12/16
"==>"

04/12/16
"==>"

04/12/16
"==>"

04/12/16
"==>"

04/12/16
"==>"

28/11/16
"==>"

Just as Macbeth was about to ULTRA SUPLEX this damn red thing off the bridge, it preemptively attacks Macbeth with a MAGICAL LAZER.

First phantom daggers and now this?

28/11/16
"Macbeth: See if it wants to throw hands"

Macbeth readies his fists in preparedness for a fight with the weird red thing that sent him to Venice.

28/11/16
"==>"

Woah. It's another one of those red things that threw Macbeth from Castle Cawdor.

It appeared out of nowhere, just like before.

28/11/16
"==>"

Oh. Wait. No.

It's Venice.

Venice is where he is.

28/11/16
"Explore the area. Maybe there is some landmark that may indicate Macbeth's location"

After walking the streets for a while Macbeth concedes that he doesn't know where in the world he is.

28/11/16
"Get up and look around"

Gathering his bearings, Macbeth finds himself in an unknown land. The people and surroundings aren't an immediate indicator either. Especially since it they were made in haste.

26/11/16
"==>"

Macbeth: Ow... What happened?

26/11/16
"==>"

26/11/16
"==>"

26/11/16
"==>"

26/11/16
"==>"

26/11/16
"==>"

26/11/16
"Macbeth: It's time to kill the King"

Oh crap, what's going on here?

26/11/16
"==>"

The droid lies dead on the ground. There are no more beings guarding the door.

26/11/16
"Macbeth: Knock the droid out with the bottle already"

With one STRONG swing, Macbeth breaks the bottle on the security bot's head.

This does way more damage than it should and leaves a huge dent in its head.

26/11/16
"==>"

Pranked by Macduff with the aid of a droid. Macbeth is mad.

26/11/16
"==>"

As Macbeth and the droid dance for a while now, he decides to make some conversation with the automaton.

Macbeth: So. Are you going to tomorrows dance party? I hear its a pretty big deal.

Droid: What? Oh. You are referring to the dance that was yesterday. Macduff told everyone to tell you it was tomorrow so that you wouldn't be there. I guess you were pranked. Sorry about that.

22/11/16
"==>"

A great success.

Both Macbeth and the droid are jamming without tunes.

22/11/16
"Macbeth: Do a robot dance to establish rapport with the security droid."

Macbeth decides to dance the dance of the automaton. Hopefully this creates a rapport with the machine.

22/11/16
"==>"

The droid seems to have accepted Macbeth's story and takes its post at the door.

22/11/16
"Macbeth: Use a logical paradox to short circuit the robot"

Knowing logical paradoxes haven't worked on droids since the 7th grade, Macbeth comes up with the scenario where he found these guards drinking on the job and are now passed out drunk.

22/11/16
"Peek in King Duncan's room to see what's going on"

As Macbeth approaches the door to King Duncan's room a security droid appears. By the way, droids are a thing here. It greets Macbeth and asks why he is here so late and why the human guards are unconscious.

22/11/16
"Hamlet: Examine surroundings"

What are you talking about? We've moved on from Hamlet. This is Macbeth now. Hamlet is in Denmark, stupid. We'll get back to Hamlet. Just hold your horses.

22/11/16
"==>"

Macbeth checks to make sure they they are responsive. They really are out cold. Macbeth's loving lady has done well.

22/11/16
"==>"

Yeah. They are totally out.

22/11/16
"==>"

Macbeth approaches the door to the King's quarters. Two men lay on the ground. They seem unconscious.

22/11/16
"Check to make sure the guards are really drugged and that Lady Macbeth isn't lying."

Macbeth enters the halls of Castle Cawdor. The King sleeps in the royal guest chambers.

22/11/16
"Go kill Duncan"

As Macbeth approaches the castle halls, Macbeth's wife Lady Macbeth [yes that IS her name] steps out into the courtyard steps. It appears that She is returning to tell him that her task in drugging the guards is done.

20/11/16
"==>"

20/11/16
"==>"

20/11/16
"==>"

20/11/16
"Knife Strife"

20/11/16
"Why didn't you bring a dagger when you were planning to kill the King? Go find a weapon."

Macbeth already had a dagger with him. A bigger and better dagger in fact.

Way better than a stupid talking spirit dagger.

And it's time to put it to use.

20/11/16
"==>"

THE DAGGER WAS INCORPOREAL YOU FOOL!

MACBETH! YOU KNEW IT WAS INCORPOREAL!

NOW YOU'VE JUST MADE IT MAD!

15/11/16
"Macbeth: Concoct an elaborate and needlessly complicated scheme to indict King Duncan, forcing him to step down as king and have you appointed"

Who do you think Macbeth is? Some kind of wimpy princess? One so full of angst that they put off the simple task of regicide with frivolities such as hat spectacles, cartoons, and garden frolicking? Get real.

Not only is Macbeth going to do this. He's going to do this with the instrument that told him not to do this.

15/11/16
"Dagger: Respond"

The blade approaches Macbeth. It whispers to him in a stern, and foreboding fashion...

Dagger: I am the Dagger of Fairly Considerable Amounts of Disapproval. You Macbeth, Thane of Glamis and Cawdor are planning to commit regicide on your King Duncan. I must tell you not to do that. It ends very poorly for you... your wife... All of Scotland really. Don't do it. Understand? I know. Prophecies and whatnot. Don't trust it. I know better than you do. I'm a magic blade, and you are not.

15/11/16
"Be not. Instead be Macbeth, making the dagger speech"

Macbeth stands in the castle courtyard of Cawdor. He was just about to murder Duncan, King of Scotland, in his sleep when an incorporeal blade has appeared before him. Taunting him. This sharp device is a master manipulator. Proven such that its mere presence is enough to gaslight Macbeth into thinking deeply into his intentions.

Macbeth: Is this a dagger which I see before me,
The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee.
I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.
Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible
To feeling as to sight?...

15/11/16
"==>"

Hamlet stands in the innermost part of the garden. Ophelia may be in deeper in. If that's the case we will need to go deeper.

15/11/16
"Hamlet: Leave and go to the garden. Screw Laertes."

Screw Laertes and his snarky crap. Time to go look for Ophelia. She might be in the garden so we'll start by looking there.

14/11/16
"Hamlet: Ask Laertes where Ophelia is"

Leartes: Do you think I have my sister on a leash? Well I don't. Not yet.

Laertes: What I'm trying to say is she's not here and I don't know why you're asking me.

Laertes: Check the garden. Or the court.

Laertes: If you don't want to hang out and listen to some sweet tunes, and you don't want to watch one of your lame cartoons, I don't know why you are here.

14/11/16
"==>"

Hamlet and Laertes have been staring each other down for quite a while now.

It's getting awkward.

14/11/16
"==>"

Okay?

14/11/16
"==>"

14/11/16
"Hamlet: Stare down at Laertes"

13/11/16
"Hamlet: Rebut"

Hamlet: Okay, first of all, Lion King isn't a baby movie. Secondly, that's very rich coming from somebody using the royal movie room to watch dumb 80s music videos. Thirdly Lion King was the second highest grossing film of its time. I don't recall Rick Astley making nine-hundred million dollars.

13/11/16
"Hamlet: See who's in the room"

It's Laertes. Son of Polonius and brother of Ophelia [Hamlet's GF].

Look at his smug face.

Just LOOK at his smug, dumb face.

JUST LOOK at his smug, dumb, idiot face.

Laertes: Hey Hamlet. What's up. I was just watching some sweet music videos. You're free to join me if you want.

Laertes: Or did you want to watch something yourself? Did you want to watch one of your baby movies. I know how much you like to watch baby movies on your own. I can go if you wanted to watch a baby movie.


How does he know Hamlet's secret?!?!?!

13/11/16
"No Hamlet. Don't go in. You're going to get pranked."

Dang it.

The second Hamlet steps into the room he is greeted by the face of Rick Astley.

Somebody must be using this room to watch crappy 80s music videos.

13/11/16
"==>"

?

It seems somebody is using the movie room.
The projector is on, the lights are low, and sound is playing.

13/11/16
"Hamlet: Go watch Disney's The Lion King"

Hamlet: You know what? Screw this. I'm going to the movie room to watch Lion King.

Hamlet: We have a movie room in this castle by the way.

13/11/16
"Hamlet: Be overly dramatic"

In a feat of metatheatrical excellence, Hamlet laments how horrible life is for him as the Prince of Denmark.

The theatre crowd is very impressed by this performance.

Please ignore them.

13/11/16
"Hamlet: Cry"

Man.

Doesn't it just suck being the Prince of Denmark?

13/11/16
"==>"

Hamlet stands outside his room. He has just stormed out after being scolded by his dead father.

12/11/16
"==>"

Hamlet: Whatever Ghost Dad. I'm leaving. I'm going to go kill Claudius now. Or not. Whatever.


What a loser. Scolded by a dead person.

12/11/16
"==>"

Hamlet Senior then goes on to berate Hamlet for a a minute or two.

12/11/16
"Ask about his opinion on the movie Ghost Dad starring Bill Cosby."

Despite not having seen that particular movie, Hamlet asks his father about what his opinion on the aforementioned film.

Hamlet Sr: Okay first of all, that's a stupid question.
Secondly, the title is misleading. He wasn't even dead, so it shouldn't be called Ghost Dad, it should be called Astral Projection Dad.
Thirdly, the implications involving anything Bill Cosby has been involved in are extremely uncomfortable in retrospect.
Fourthly, though a bad movie, it isn't anything compared to Garbage Pail Kids.
Fifthly, my son, you are just wasting time like a fool when you should be out killing my brother.
Hamlet Sr: Stop wasting my ghost time.

12/11/16
"Talk to Ghost"

Hamlet approaches he ghost of Hamlet Senior.

Hamlet Sr: Hamlet, you idiot. I come to check on the task of killing my brother that I gave you, and you are here acting like a fool.

12/11/16
"Hamlet: Flip the table"

The table has been flipped. In doing so, the rest of the room reveals itself. It turns out Hamlet has been watched by a ghostly figure this whole time.

12/11/16
"Hamlet: Put Book on Skull"

Though it is very silly, Hamlet uses his copy of Catcher in the Rye as a hat for good Yorick.

In doing so, he has gained a bonus to his posture.

12/11/16
"==>"

Oh how Hamlet loves this book, and the wise words of its protagonist.

12/11/16
"Retrieve items from table"

The dagger may be useful in Hamlet's task to kill his uncle.

The book, though not important to his quest is one of his most precious books...

12/11/16
"Hamlet: Lament the life and death of Yorick with a soliloquy."

Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him. A fellow
of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. He hath
borne me on his back a thousand times. And now, how
abhorred in my imagination it is...

12/11/16
"Hamlet: Wear skull as a hat"

Hamlet has decided it would be a good idea to disrespect the skull of dear Yorick, the court Jester by placing him on his head.

This is most silly.

12/11/16
"Theatrequest"

A young Danish prince stands in his room after being accosted by the phantom spirit of his deceased father, who has solicited Hamlet to kill the usurper to the throne. Hamlet Senior's own brother, Claudius.