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06/02/10
"Next."

And unfortunately for the Professor...

EVERY ONE OF THOSE CAT STATES IS UNBELIEVABLY DEADLY.

06/02/10
"Next."

SCHRODINGER'S CAT is released from the SHADOWBOX, in every state that exists between being alive and dead!

Again the Probability Professor is flummoxed, because the cat exists in every state of probability at once.

06/02/10
"Next."

Hearts Boxcars rolls some dice to establish the strength of the attack. He rolls boxcars for maximum damage.

The thing about Hearts Boxcars is HE ALWAYS ROLLS BOXCARS.

06/02/10
"Next."

They invoke their deadly maneuver: COMBAT OPERANDI -> SHADOWBOXING to counter the Professor's hijinks.

The MC summons a mysterious SHADOWBOX. It could contain anything. The possibilities have even the Professor bamboozled!

06/02/10
"MC: Attempt to put an end to Probability Theory Wasp's meddling with superior shadow-based magic."

Now that Team Sleuth has its hands full with the WEASEL WRAITH, the Midnight Crew turns its attention on the army of meddling Wasp Professors.

06/02/10
"Next."

OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

06/02/10
"Next."

The WEASEL WRAITH flips the fuck out of his BLACK BELFRY.

The Midnight Crew deploys his fury against Team Sleuth.

06/02/10
"Next."

The flesh of that melon is getting a little raw from the wicked antenna-bruising.

The menace eyes the melon. It does not enjoy what it sees.

06/02/10
"Next."

A dark menace has been awakened from a century's slumber.

06/02/10
"MIDNIGHT CREW: Continue your battle, oblivious to the various odd changes that resulted from Professor Wasp's meddling through time."

06/02/10
"Next."

In pressing the windows together, the Professor and the Clown make a grave miscommunication. One of the windows knots inside the other, forming a tight spiral WINDOW WREATH.

Wasp Professors fire in all directions.

06/02/10
"Next."

The Wasp's frantic trajectory is sandwiched between the two windows.

06/02/10
"Next."

The Wasp Professor understandably makes a beeline for the pie, which quickly disappears per the hoax of a mischievous clown.

The Honeybee Professor summons a PORTAL COUNTERPART WINDOW and positions it to face the clown's window.

06/02/10
"HONEYBEE PROFESSOR: put an end to PROBABILITY THEORY WASP PROFESSOR's troublesome meddling once and for all."

The Honeybee Professor enlists the support of the Clown Bard to conjure a WINDOW and a highly tempting PIE left to cool on its sill.

06/02/10
"Next."

The Professor meddles feverishly with your appearance.

06/02/10
"Next."

You attempt to shoo the pesky insect with your FLY SWATTER SCYTHE.

06/02/10
"Next."

Professor Wasp pokes his distinguished, nosy countenance from the page. He is looking particularly meddlesome today.

06/02/10
"Death: Accidentally tear a plot hole in your TOME OF WAYFARING SOULS."

You are about to jot a few notes in your TOME, but you notice something peculiar happening on one of the pages.

06/02/10
"Next."

And then he puts it on top of this thing.

AND HE KEEPS DOING THINGS LIKE THIS FOR A WHILE. NO ONE CAN STOP HIM.

06/02/10
"Next."

He steals a SALTED MELON from the Weasels who all promptly start flipping the fuck out.

06/02/10
"Next."

Professor Wasp makes off with the RICHES stored in the OWEN WILSON BUST, and then gives BEN STILLER some sweet new SHADES.

06/02/10
"Next."

But Professor Wasp quickly replaces it with ten BASSOONS.

06/02/10
"Next."

The OBOE has been dislodged.

06/02/10
"Crank PROBABILITY THEORY WASP PROFESSOR's Meddling Level up from Medium to High."

Professor Wasp takes a healthy swallow of his own medicine, boosting his MEDDLING LEVEL. Soon he becomes quite fidgety and searches about for other people's business to poke his professorly, erudite nose into.

He makes a number of highly improbable appearances throughout canonical story events and starts messing things up.

06/02/10
"Next."

Diamonds Droog deals Boxcars a senseless drubbing with his ULTRA-VIOLENCE CUESTICK.

06/02/10
"Next."

Hearts Boxcars returns with armloads of COLORFUL NIGERIAN ROBES for you all to wear during your spiritually moving attack of soulful devotion to your Lord, Jesus Christ.

06/02/10
"Next."

This is complete bullshit.

06/02/10
"MC: SHADOW COMB RAVE -> MIDNIGHT GOSPEL ACT "

Thinking the name "Midnight Crew" is probably an obscure reference to something, you decide to Google it and learn more.

But it seems all you can find are references to some Afro-Beat/Christian/Gospel group in Nigeria.

06/02/10
"Next."

06/02/10
"Next."

You roll the last die by pressing the final DOOMSDAY CASCADER. This will trigger the weapon on the terrible device and potentially deal UP TO 50 TRILLION HIT POINTS IN DAMAGE!

The DOOMSDAY CASCADER rolls a 1!

06/02/10
"Next."

The 3rd cascader is pressed for a resulting multiplier of 35. The remaining 3 dice now have 96 * 35 = 3360 sides each.

The 4th cascader is pressed for a resulting multiplier of 2922!! The remaining 2 dice now have 3360 * 2922 = 9,817,920 sides each.

The 5th cascader is pressed for a resulting multiplier of 5,101,894!!!! The final remaining die now has 9,817,920 * 5,101,894 = 50,090,870,753,280 sides!!!!!!

06/02/10
"Next."

The 2nd cascader is pressed for a resulting multiplier of 8. The remaining 4 dice now have 12 * 8 = 96 sides each.

06/02/10
"Next."

You press the first cascader. The result is a two. Not very good, but it's just the beginning!

The other five cascader dice are multiplied by this number to become 12-sided dice!

06/02/10
"Next."

You press the PRIME BUBBLE to allocate the empty CATENATOR CRUCIBLES with bubbles.

You rolled a 6. The most favorable result! The crucibles are allocated with 6 CASCADER BUBBLES, each containing a D6.

06/02/10
"Next."

PFPI conjures one of his most deadly imagined weapons: the CATENATIVE DOOMSDAY DICE CASCADER, featuring loathsome POPAMATIC BUBBLE TECHNOLOGY.

06/02/10
"Strike back at the midnight crew using awesome dice based technology."

You've been pushed to your limit by the larcenous Midnight Crew. You have no hope of defeating these felons unless you resort to measures of desperation. You call for PFPI's help.

06/02/10
"Next."

06/02/10
"Next."

Once you fill 'em with midnight, these do-gooders will wish they never left their offices.

06/02/10
"MC: Allow LABORER WASPS to collect SHADOW NECTAR from protagonists. Then, HIVE RAGTIME: FILL'EM WITH MIDNIGHT."

The wasps have completed their grim labors. The comb throbs with black liquid misery.

06/02/10
"Next."

HEARTS BOXCARS deals PI a savage whipping with his TV ANTENNA.

06/02/10
"Next."

PI tiptoes away because he finds all the commotion quite upsetting. HEARTS BOXCARS wonders just where the devil he thinks HE's going.

06/02/10
"Next."

SPADES SLICK wreaks havoc on PS with his CAST IRON HORSE HITCHER. CLUBS DEUCE employs his CROOK OF FELONY to bludgeon AD in the snout to establish similarity. DIAMONDS DROOG viciously wields his ULTRA-VIOLENCE CUESTICK against ZAD.

06/02/10
"MC & SMK: Wage merciless, donation-funded warfare against the protagonists in a non-canonical but nonetheless grand plotline."

SMK and the Midnight Crew head to the deck for an old fashioned gang-style brawl. DMK gets out of the way cause it looks like shit's about to go down pretty hard and heavy.

06/02/10
"Next."

You transform MK into SHADOW MK.

Now that's what you're talking about.

06/02/10
"Next."

The leader of your group assesses MK's fitness for joining the Midnight Crew. He's just not quite cutting it somehow.

06/02/10
"MC: Insulted, violently join the battle working for DMK instead."

Oh no, that guy DID NOT just show you his collection of gay pornography. That DID NOT just happen.

Slighted by the man's vulgar conduct, the band of rogues heads below the deck to join forces with Mobster Kingpin. They call for him to come out of his fort.

06/02/10
"Next."

Wait... these are not the intimidating cards you had hoped to show them.

06/02/10
"Next."

But you retailiate with your own hand of deadly and highly intimidating cards!

06/02/10
"Next."

One of them tries to intimidate you with the ace of spades.

06/02/10
"PS: Summon (and incidentally hire) the Midnight Crew to show this rag-a-muffin piker who really holds the cards."

The dangerous band of mobsters threaten you with their sinister shadow-based magic.

06/02/10
"MIDNIGHT CREW - EXTRA PAGES"