Be the Kid.

You are now ???. And by God, YOU LOVE ANIME. ANIME IS THE SOLE THING THAT ENVELOPES ALL EXISTENCE, AND MAKES IT FUCKING AWESOME. Your IM client is Trillian, from the 90's. Your Trillian handle is japanMan and you spend most of your time playing Call of Duty. It happens to your birthday and crap, so, in tradition, you will now receive a name.