Meet This Young Mysterious Boy!

Oh who might this be? seems like....a boy? Correct? Ah! Of course it is! Welcome to ResidenceJammed! Let's get this show on the road shall we?
Panel #1
Today this young man is turning 15! Wowie! 15 Years ago, blah blah we heard this all in homestuck...let's cut to the chase, this kid's birthday is today and he needs to be named if we're gonna do anything with the little derp, so what's it gonna be my good man/woman?