Hoy, random adventure button pushers. I would just like to tell you now that although this looks on the surface a sburbventure, it is very different. You don't even get to any Sburb stuff until act 2. I like to call Blasted a "Non Homestuck-esque Sburbventure". So there is some Sburb, but the adventure is nothing like Homestuck. Just lettin' you know now.
Your name is EDWARD TOMAS. You live in a two-story gray house in a small suburban neighborhood. You have very few intrests, but one of the ones you are most passionate about is SPYING. You love spying on your next-door neighbor, whom you hate. You also sometimes play RPG games, such as Quest of Minestar, which does not at all break 12 copyrights. Your DAD is a VIDEO GAME DESIGNER, which enables you to get many games before they come out. What will you do?