Go Get a Roomie!

Seahorsedad: Tell off your idiot benelover.

Panel #1
Oh for glub's sake! Stop bein such a useless sissy-grub.
wwhat
You knoww wwhat I'm talkin about!
Look at you. You're just pathetic.
And I don't mean "pathetic" as in "pitiful in the wway trolls find sexy or wwhatevver," I just mean pathetic.

wwhat
come on wwhat the fuck i mean i just got done fightin wwith kar so i dont look fintastic ok thats no big deal
I'm not talkin about that!
LOOK at you, fishin for compliments.
"Glub glub look at me I'm Eridan and I'm sooo looonely!"

hey
"Wwon't you tell me howw lovvable I am?"
shut up
That's wwhat youre doin.
It's blatantly fuckin obvvious.
You do it all the time, you knoww.

i said SHUT UP
No!
For fuck's sake Eridan, THIS is wwhy you're nevver gonna score!
Because you're so fuckin pitiful!
In the non-sexy-to-trolls wway.

howw the fuck wwould you knoww youre a coddamn seahorse
you think wwhales and turtles are all anybody needs to get a mate
I'vve nevver said they're the only things, just the best things.
And it doesn't change the fact that you're nevver goin to get anywwhere the wway you're goin noww.
If you wwant deep lovve you're not gonna find it by splashin around in the shallowws.
Wwhich is all you'vve been doin.
Wwhich is wwhy all you'vve evver scored is a fuckin useless bitch that's pale for you,
cause you'vve nevver gone out deep enough for the pale wwater to turn flushed.

oh come off it
wwhat the fuck is this
youre comparin my lovve life to the fact that i nevver livved underwwater is that wwhat this is
Wwhere the fuck are you gettin that from?
just the fact that youvve alwways been pissed about livvin in a ship instead a underwwater in a proper hivve
remember you alwways used to say you thought i wwas scared a swwimmin
remember
You sure acted like it.
i wwas NOT and anywway thats exactly wwhat youre sayin noww except wwith romance
and wwhat the fuck wwould you knoww about it anywway
youre a fuckin lusus
you dont evven knoww howw romance wworks
Like fuck I don't.
I'vve had fivve benelovvers, Eridan, do you think in all that time I didn't learn a thing or twwo about howw trolls function?

again with the fuckin fakey imaginary lusus romance
look i dont care about howw your system wworks im just sayin you dont get ours
as evvidenced by the fact that you seem to think im on the vverge a failin here
wwhich im NOT
so you can just
shut up
about me fishin for compliments or wwhatevver
because im not
i knoww wwhat ivve got here wwith nep and
and
i knoww ivve had my failures in the past ok
ivve been unlucky i guess but wwho needs luck anywway
It actually might do you some good.
no
Since you could probably find luck more easily than common sense, the wway you're goin noww.
SHUT UP wwhat the FUCK do you knoww about me anywway
you dont evven listen to me wwhen i talk about my quadrants so HOWW wwould you knoww
I don't need to listen because I knoww you BETTER THAN YOU DO!
I RAISED you, Eridan!
And I'vve seen you strike out a million times and I'm gonna wwatch you strike out a million more cause you don't evven knoww wwhat you're doin wwrong.
You don't evven realize you're doin anything wwrong at all!

SHUT
UP
I GET IT OK
i knoww im not some fuckin romantic mastermind and im nevver gonna fuckin be one but YOU KNOWW WWHAT
i do knoww this much
that i filled twwo fuckin quadrants tonight
SUCCESSFULLY thank you vvery much
and so you are WWRONG about me
kar hates me
and nep lovves me
so THERE
im sure youre just gonna deny it like you alwways try to do wwhen i havve a chance wwith anyone but THIS time YOURE THE WWRONG ONE
so just
fuckin deal wwith it

You. Glubbing. Moron.

wwhat

She doesn't lovve you.

... wwhat
a
a course she does
No.
YES
No she fuckin doesn't and you can't evven see that.
You'vve probably convvinced her you're pitiful
just like you alwways do
but she doesn't lovve you.

but
wwhat
no
she has to
She doesn't "havve to" anything.
Just because you gavve her a wwhale doesn't mean she's obligated to lovve you, it just helps you get there.

you fuckin idiot i didnt evven givve her a wwhale
Wwell, there's your fuckin problem!
COD just SHUT UP nep doesnt evven care about wwhales shes a highblood
Then ask her.
If she lovves you, ask her.

FINE
nep you lovve me right

nep

... nep?


...

oh cod
Eridan, I was...
Trying to tell you...

oh my cod
you dont
you just
am
am i some kind a fuckin
just
charity case to you or somefin

No! Eridan! :((
I really do pity you! It's just...
In...
a...
less flushed way.

oh
cod
no
youre MOIRAIL ZONIN ME?!

No, Eridan, it's not like that!
then wwhat the fuck is it like
... Okay, it's like that. :((
glubglubsob

... Sorry.