Be the dork!

Panel #1
Your name is JAYE HARRIS, and today is your thirteenth birthday!
Your room is very small, but it's so cozy!
You are an aspiring COP, like your DAD! He's the best!
You also love to play MEDIOCRE SIMULATION GAMES, which is lucky, because your DAD bought you the game SPURB today!
Why does that sound familiar...?
Hmm, you don't know, but lets not dwell on it!
You also enjoy EATING, but balance it out with numerous bouts of CYCLING.
You hate SPORTS.
Jaye, what will you do?